• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 11th, 2014



Now this is a Fluttershy adventure story, she meets a strange pony. This she falls wings over hooves for this colt, and things will happen. No this is not a clopfic it may become a shipper later on but I`m no good at that kind of thing. I hope you like it

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 47 )

Awwww! Fluttershy is perfect for Scoots mom! :yay::scootangel:

Patty cakes the remake is where i got the idea and my little fortress teamwork is magic

alright ignore the previous comment. but this and chapter one could easely just be one chapter, that would at the same time make it easier for the reader. moving on to the last one.

alright, made it through. as i stated earlier, an editor or a proofreader could help you greatly. both have a group where you could easely get some help on that regard. it is a little wierd to see how well you have spaced this story when your otherones are not but whatever. this story has a lot of potencial in my oppinion but its the same as earlier. your pacing is a little quick, and to be honest i was extremly shocked by Fluttershy's behavior in chapter 1, it was completly out of her caracter. you seem write her more correctly in chapter 2 and 3 but she was a i felt as if it was a completly different pony in chapter 1.
i know you have heard this before but i would reccoment that you try to get each chapter over 1k words. a lot of people wont even read it if there are to many short chapters.
other than that i really liked the concept of this story and hope you write more of it.
all 3 done. my misson here is done :trixieshiftright: peace out.

2532796 an editor or a proofreader could help you greatly Are you intreasted in the postion
Fluttershy's behavior in chapter 1 is taken from the fic my little fortress: teamwork is magic.
where did scootaloo come from Pattycakes the rermake a wonderful fic

Thank you for reviewing my story

i could pre-read for you to help with big mistakes and the likes of that, but im not to great with grammar myself so i wouldent be as good as a proofreader.

2536402 The Ill find an editor if you preread my stories to come, if you dont mind


I'll put the 2 chapters together, and write ho he became a werepony when I edit, that is, if you don't mind. :fluttershysad:

yea its alot better.
may want to replace the first chapter with the edited one tough. would make things look better.

2552052 A chapter based on an angel bunny misadventure:pinkiehappy::heart::pinkiecrazy:



Don't publish it until I catch up on editing. And pm it to me first! :twilightsmile:


You may write it, of course.

And sorry for the wait. :twilightblush:

Here is the lullaby Thunderflicker would sing in my mind. here goes . . .

sleep now dear flutters
you musnt be afraid
i know that truth hurts
and mine is now plain

a dog by night
and pony by day
getting looks of fright
always getting pushed away

i'm scary at first
but once you get to know me
you'll be happy enough to burst
that you put aside your worries

so rest now dear flutters
its time to lay your sleepy head
your kindness will do wonders
now, its time to go to bed . . . :pinkiehappy:

2640386 Its been published:ajsmug: A fine piece of work, thank you once again.

2646583 Thank you, a nightmare sequence is underway

I kinda noticed that there are a few spelling errors, otherwise, it's good

2648449 If anyone sees any spelling errors point them out and i will fix it

Oh, thank you for putting up my lullaby! I feel so happy right now!:twilightblush:

2654512 I always willing to make people happy, and happy to do so.

2706480 The story was inspired by the coverart, i don`t know who to credit though.

2710288 I hope that this anon artist were to reveal themselves, i will happily credit them. I am a word smith, i cant do anything like that


Sorry it's taking so long. I'll try to get it to you this weekend- or if not, sometime next week. :twilightblush:

And remember, you promised no more chapters until I edited them!

2721539 Alright,but that means a different story gets some work then


Sorry! (It may be longer- I'm using my Mom's computer- mine's down.) :twilightsmile:

2741270 Take all the time you need:ajsmug::heart:

4225614 I got busy with life ill continue to asap


I'll continue editing as soon as you continue writing. Sorry, life got in the way, but I'll continue if you'd like.

4650821 Ok ill get the next chapter up when i can:derpytongue2:. I appricate your editing for me.:heart:


I'm really sorry - I feel so bad! I will finish as soon as possible! It may be a few days though, I'm in the middle of a contest with my sister. :raritywink:

4651708 take all the time you need, i know ill probably need time to write. If theres anything i can do to help, just let me know.

I think this story could use a bit more detail, but other than that, it's a good idea.

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