2295122 Discord agrees with you! Making sense is boring, but how can a soldier who can barely cut costs as it is have a Humvee? I'm confuzzled over here.... He also can't buy gas.....
Dale is such a boss, reasons why: 1: Meets Fleur 2: After continuously insulting her, gets invited back to her place 3: Pony sexxing 4: About to kick some serious changling ass. Badass as any.
2295446 Yeah, I'm former US Army and also have a friend that's active USSF. I can testify that they don't use .50 cal pistols. It's a fun thought, but unrealistic (COD and Hollywood were the ones that introduced that into mainstream thinking). If I remember correctly, several of us gave Trigger here a through dressing down about using an old M1 Thompson with a Deagle in combat, and apparently he still carries the scars
The Israeli's were going to issue it back in the day as border patrol to give them that extra 'Umph'to put a hole in an engine block (Which it can do)
—Nope. You're probably thinking of the .50 BMG rifle round, which will barely penetrate soft metals such as aluminum or steel. Cast iron and rolled steel armor require an AP round to penetrate. And the DE was to be issued as a sidearm to vehicle/tank crews, but the cost was proven to be too high in terms of practicality. They use the Jericho 941 "Baby Eagle" instead.
—If a ballistic vest can withstand a .44 magnum round, a .50 AE round won't be much of a big difference (It'll still hurt like hell!), but this is all based on the distance fired from the target (vest)
—Unless you get hit with a 5.7mm round, which is essentially a shortened 5.56 x 45 mm rifle round, which travels at 850 m/s (2,800 ft/s). Then it's game over.
I like desert eagles and glocks and 1911s and m134 salad choppers (a real household use ) so I don't see the problem oh scratch that its these people who compare life to call of duty
I see no problem with this story except for the fact that these demons seem to be a lot like changlings. Which by the way is fine, keep going. I'm actually curious if Fleur is actually Queen Chystalis.
To me this reads like Plan 9 From Outer Space, its so bad its funny. Well out side your Clop. I wont say your hero shouldn't have a Desert Eagle but I will say that he doesn't seem to act like a spec force staff Sergent.
That said don't let people nay say you. Its your story write it how you want. Its one thing to take peoples opinions into consideration and another to try to please all readers.
2296829 That and the whole "Sharing is caring" deal. If you have the US forces using .45 caliber but nearly everyone else using 9x19mm then they can't interchange ammo but if everyone uses 9mm then we can share. Christ it sounds like something from a fairy tale
2295896 Well, I didn't mean put an actual hole in the engine block but it will stop an un-armoured automobile if you fire a round into a 'vital' spot in the engine. I remember back when I was nine and we had this old Chevrolet Impala that wasn't road worthy any more so we took out an imitation M1911 made by Norinco and fired the entire magazine into the engine block. We tried to start the car after but it wouldn't start ohh sometimes I wonder about my sanity
So many weapon specifications and I don't know about any of them. By the way, I was immediately thinking of Doom when Fleur explained colt turned into some kind of zombie by some unknown force.
2298787 What branch of the military was he in that he has a LMG that uses explosive tip rounds? The only thing I can think of is an armored division, but then he would be driving an armored transport instead of a jeep.
And suddenly we’re playing an FPS mission. “Locate and terminate the demons”. Heh… Well, allow me to locate any errors for you to terminate. Y’got a sniper rifle on ‘ya? I’m yer spotter.
… “slowly peaked around” – ‘peaked’ should be ‘peeked’. … “I had never been in the second floor of the home.” – Erm… Dale carried her upstairs in Chapter 6. Am I misreading this? … “nodded in signal” – ‘in’ should be ‘to’.
I’d like to take a moment to address the following: When I immerse myself into a story, I take the time to speak out the voices in differing tones. For me, it helps with the immersion. With that in mind, I direct you to this series of lines:
In a very quiet voice I began to call out for Fleur. “Fleur… hey Fleur it’s me, Dale… Fleur are you home? FLEUR!” I whispered rather loudly but didn’t get a reply.
There is absolutely NO FEASIBLE WAY for me to make this whispered or low-toned, and have it NOT sound ridiculous. “FLURR! FLUUUURR!” Or I’d try pronouncing the ‘E’ and sound like I was about to hurl. “FLEHURRR!”. Ugh… I’m not blaming you for this, it’s what her NAME is, and “Miss De Lis” wouldn’t fare much better… “Miss Deli? Where are you, Miss Deli?”
Okay, back to proofreading.
… “slowly open the door open” – Remove the second ‘open’.
I didn't want to agree with another commenter, but... yeah, it's bad a times with the realism... so bad, it's funny as a result. Especially the action, though. The drama was okay, but this chapter was severely lacking when it came to the sort of things that actually 'happened'. Dale got to Fleur, found Changelings, killed a bunch, kicked down a door. Pretty much all that happened. Well, might as well keep things moving, I guess...
I'm going to take a different approach and NOT be critical at this point. It seems like this is really being set up for action, and Dale's an unconventional character, even if there was clop a few chapters ago. Regardless, I might as well try taking it a little bit easier with my criticism... I'll see how it goes.
Desert Eagles actually use .44 Magnum catradges. The .50 AE was produced throughout the 80's and early 90's, but was replaced with the .44 for various reasons. It really irritates me when people refer to Eagles as .50 caliber. The .50 AE round is very different than a .50 caliber round; size and weight. The AE in .50 AE means action express, the name of the manufacturer who widely produced it. The .50 AE was specifically designed for the Desert Eagle, and was later used for a very limited amount of magnums.
The Desert Eagle NEVER used a full .50 caliber round, as there is no way a round of such size could be properly fired from a handgun. The largest handgun round known is the .500 used in the S&W magnum, larger than the Desert Eagle, but still smaller than the .50 rounds used in the Barrett m108- 109 rifles.
So the fact that this story has a Sergeant Major fitted with a relatively large handgun makes absolutely no sense. Furthermore, the authors note on Chapter 9 states that the Eagle fires a .50 round, when It really fires a .50 AE. As I said before, there is a difference. Please stop bickering about stuff you don't know, author and SOME readers.
Get it right, it's annoying.
Sincerely, Society.
(Coming from former United States Marine. Semper Fidelis.)
Dude, wtf is up with all these weapon specifications?
Chair to the face! Gotta love it.
2294952 You don't want to know how many weapon experts are reading this story.
2294952 He's a hacker, that's how.:-)
Now he has a Humvee? I guess that's plausible.....
2295055 Smokey, playing Call of duty does not make you a weapons expert.
2295107 Call of Duty is not the only first person shooter out there you know.
2295090 Logic makes everything boring. (Lol, I'm also lost.)
2295118 No, but it seems to spawn the most so-called "weapons experts"
2295122 Discord agrees with you! Making sense is boring, but how can a soldier who can barely cut costs as it is have a Humvee? I'm confuzzled over here.... He also can't buy gas.....
I dont even know what a desert eagle is(I know its a gun) and I don't care. Changelings why does it have to be changelings? How can Applejack mistake changelings for demons?
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTIvMDQvMTdfMjFfMDdfMzQ3XzE3MjU1OF9fVU5PUFRfXyJdXQ/172558__safe_ponified_changeling_colored_aliens_artist-lavosvsbahamut_ancient-humans_giorgio-tsoukalos.jpg
For god sake please.... Please don't let it end like I think it's going end.....
Dale is such a boss, reasons why:
1: Meets Fleur
2: After continuously insulting her, gets invited back to her place
3: Pony sexxing
4: About to kick some serious changling ass.
Badass as any.
I also like where this is going. Nice Predator quote reference use there!
2295055
Careful, some of those "weapon experts" have actual military experience. And some of us have friends that are active USSF.
2295435 I know. Like spetnaz pinkie pie. I know that he's an actual military personnel.
2295446
Yeah, I'm former US Army and also have a friend that's active USSF. I can testify that they don't use .50 cal pistols. It's a fun thought, but unrealistic (COD and Hollywood were the ones that introduced that into mainstream thinking). If I remember correctly, several of us gave Trigger here a through dressing down about using an old M1 Thompson with a Deagle in combat, and apparently he still carries the scars
People, he can have a personal sidearm that he brought ya ijits
2294864
—Nope. You're probably thinking of the .50 BMG rifle round, which will barely penetrate soft metals such as aluminum or steel. Cast iron and rolled steel armor require an AP round to penetrate. And the DE was to be issued as a sidearm to vehicle/tank crews, but the cost was proven to be too high in terms of practicality. They use the Jericho 941 "Baby Eagle" instead.
—If a ballistic vest can withstand a .44 magnum round, a .50 AE round won't be much of a big difference (It'll still hurt like hell!), but this is all based on the distance fired from the target (vest)
—Unless you get hit with a 5.7mm round, which is essentially a shortened 5.56 x 45 mm rifle round, which travels at 850 m/s (2,800 ft/s). Then it's game over.
I like desert eagles and glocks and 1911s and m134 salad choppers (a real household use ) so I don't see the problem oh scratch that its these people who compare life to call of duty
I don't really care about all the military specs and items being correct, I just the like story. You know, THE THING WE ARE HERE TO READ!
“Somebody’s playing hocus pocus… I hate hocus pocus.”
journey to atlantis reference by any chance
I see no problem with this story except for the fact that these demons seem to be a lot like changlings. Which by the way is fine, keep going. I'm actually curious if Fleur is actually Queen Chystalis.
To me this reads like Plan 9 From Outer Space, its so bad its funny. Well out side your Clop. I wont say your hero shouldn't have a Desert Eagle but I will say that he doesn't seem to act like a spec force staff Sergent.
That said don't let people nay say you. Its your story write it how you want. Its one thing to take peoples opinions into consideration and another to try to please all readers.
I quite enjoyed this.
MOAR
please?
2296429
That, and to conform to NATO.
2295390 I completely agree
2296829 That and the whole "Sharing is caring" deal. If you have the US forces using .45 caliber but nearly everyone else using 9x19mm then they can't interchange ammo but if everyone uses 9mm then we can share. Christ it sounds like something from a fairy tale
2295896 Well, I didn't mean put an actual hole in the engine block but it will stop an un-armoured automobile if you fire a round into a 'vital' spot in the engine. I remember back when I was nine and we had this old Chevrolet Impala that wasn't road worthy any more so we took out an imitation M1911 made by Norinco and fired the entire magazine into the engine block. We tried to start the car after but it wouldn't start ohh sometimes I wonder about my sanity
So many weapon specifications and I don't know about any of them. By the way, I was immediately thinking of Doom when Fleur explained colt turned into some kind of zombie by some unknown force.
2298787 What branch of the military was he in that he has a LMG that uses explosive tip rounds? The only thing I can think of is an armored division, but then he would be driving an armored transport instead of a jeep.
And suddenly we’re playing an FPS mission. “Locate and terminate the demons”. Heh… Well, allow me to locate any errors for you to terminate. Y’got a sniper rifle on ‘ya? I’m yer spotter.
… “slowly peaked around” – ‘peaked’ should be ‘peeked’.
… “I had never been in the second floor of the home.” – Erm… Dale carried her upstairs in Chapter 6. Am I misreading this?
… “nodded in signal” – ‘in’ should be ‘to’.
I’d like to take a moment to address the following: When I immerse myself into a story, I take the time to speak out the voices in differing tones. For me, it helps with the immersion. With that in mind, I direct you to this series of lines:
There is absolutely NO FEASIBLE WAY for me to make this whispered or low-toned, and have it NOT sound ridiculous. “FLURR! FLUUUURR!” Or I’d try pronouncing the ‘E’ and sound like I was about to hurl. “FLEHURRR!”. Ugh… I’m not blaming you for this, it’s what her NAME is, and “Miss De Lis” wouldn’t fare much better… “Miss Deli? Where are you, Miss Deli?”
Okay, back to proofreading.
… “slowly open the door open” – Remove the second ‘open’.
I didn't want to agree with another commenter, but... yeah, it's bad a times with the realism... so bad, it's funny as a result. Especially the action, though. The drama was okay, but this chapter was severely lacking when it came to the sort of things that actually 'happened'. Dale got to Fleur, found Changelings, killed a bunch, kicked down a door. Pretty much all that happened. Well, might as well keep things moving, I guess...
I'm going to take a different approach and NOT be critical at this point. It seems like this is really being set up for action, and Dale's an unconventional character, even if there was clop a few chapters ago. Regardless, I might as well try taking it a little bit easier with my criticism... I'll see how it goes.
lmao awesome as always but honestly and i mean honestly, am i the only one who imagined this playing as he slayed "demon" ass?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSsfjHCFosw
there we go
YEAH! BADASS LEVEL: OVER 9000!
Desert Eagles actually use .44 Magnum catradges. The .50 AE was produced throughout the 80's and early 90's, but was replaced with the .44 for various reasons. It really irritates me when people refer to Eagles as .50 caliber. The .50 AE round is very different than a .50 caliber round; size and weight. The AE in .50 AE means action express, the name of the manufacturer who widely produced it. The .50 AE was specifically designed for the Desert Eagle, and was later used for a very limited amount of magnums.
The Desert Eagle NEVER used a full .50 caliber round, as there is no way a round of such size could be properly fired from a handgun. The largest handgun round known is the .500 used in the S&W magnum, larger than the Desert Eagle, but still smaller than the .50 rounds used in the Barrett m108- 109 rifles.
So the fact that this story has a Sergeant Major fitted with a relatively large handgun makes absolutely no sense. Furthermore, the authors note on Chapter 9 states that the Eagle fires a .50 round, when It really fires a .50 AE. As I said before, there is a difference. Please stop bickering about stuff you don't know, author and SOME readers.
Get it right, it's annoying.
Sincerely, Society.
(Coming from former United States Marine. Semper Fidelis.)
Also, here's a comparison between the three rounds:
.50 AE: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/50_AE_and_32_ACP.jpg
(.50 AE is on the left. The bullet on the right isn't important.)
.50: atk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/50_Caliber_M17_Tracer_455x338_r.png
.44 Magnum: leverguns.com/articles/fryxell/images/44ammo.jpg
Because an armored humvee following you wouldn't be the least bit spooky.
3865275
Ghost humvee?