Trigger_Finger
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hmm a Fleur fic... FAVED!
My body is ready.
Moar man this story is wunderbar
More
Well, Shit..
Wow, that's out of character for Twilight... and AJ. You might need an "alternate universe" tag here...
Otherwise, I'm interested in future events. Will Fleur rescue our uncultured protagonists from his undeserved servitude?
Finally! A humanxpony clopfic where the human's name is not Anon!
I agree that this needs an Alternate Universe tag, due to the characters being so ridiculously OOC.
Also, have you been in the military? If so, how many Sergeants Major do you know act the way this one does? I've never met one, and I was in for 9 years. With a purely HQ job no less, so I was always dealing with them in whatever unit I was assigned.
Also, clop with Fluer and Human!
For making my day, you sir, get a fav!
*GASP*
My name is Elijah!
...
Oh. My name is Elijah
2277169 I resemble that remark.
The story was faily simple written, si I'd recomend improving your vocabulary, and possibly try improving your ability to bary sentence stucture and legth. Also you'd want to adapt your writing to the scenes, or else the story will end up boring and monotone.
Ok, done with the negative parts. So, we got a (self insert) HiE where the human's not automatically a hero? Clever. Fleur in heat, and desperate like that
A creative diea indeed. Just a shame you decided to make it a clopfic. This would have been a god idea for an erotic novel.
Is it just me, or all of the periods at the end of each dialogue in all of the chapters are missing? Anyways, great story. Willing to wait for more, since clopfics about Fleur de Lis are pretty rare.
This was... well this was somthing
A shitload of weapon specifications. That is what every fimfic needs. :)
The pic below describes how I feel about this fic.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-nHeB3pmzL-o/TuENNcBtK2I/AAAAAAAABdA/E3EHlZhjzhY/s400/mlp_wat.jpg
K, right here is a box i want you to open it *hands box* reply to this comment saying *opens box* and youll get something amazing.
2278926 Okay, I'm a little bit skeptical but, 'Comments and closed eyes in fear of what it could possible be'
‘It isn’t proper for a lady to moan during sex.’
WHAT the HELL is wrong whit you Fancy Pants you don't want to hear her sweet music of love you are F*** in the head.
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQk8rcuAIEDFCG5dSkscydPNmJaKWaIg1nR_xuvXBPYegBdi7LVwg :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain (paraphrased) or something to that effect.
So everypony is being an ass to him because of shellshock dude that's just crazy.
2278992 Monsters aren't born, they are made.
2279054 Not being an ass, just being extremely cautious and treating like an animal. It would be like if some creature showed up on Earth and stayed at your place but nearly every night woke up yelling. Would freak me out too and I have two rifles beside my bed when I sleep.
2279213
Yeah I always keep my colt 45 in the end table by my bed of course I have to keep my rifles in my safe.
so far so good
2279276 Yeah, I know that feeling. My mom hates the fact that I have rifles beside my bed. I don't suffer from shellshock, cause I haven't entered the service yet, but sometimes I'll just wake up in an angered fury for no particular reason and trash my room in a fury. Last time I kicked the air conditioner out of my wall and that didn't go over well with my mom. She was freaking out and I had no idea what she was going on about then I got up to my room and realized that my room was trashed and I had no recollection of it... oops
Oh contrare my friend this going to end very well.
Today I learned Delta Force personal have terrible reaction times and die as frequently as Star Trek red shirts.
Since when did the military start ordering stick shift HUMVEEs?
2278275
Yup, you just got ass raped by at manticore cause you were taking a piss.
Yea I think he is in for a load of "pain" tonight lol.
2279491
Chances are Applejack has final say when it comes to the farm, so even if Mac is cool with you his vote matters little.
2279491 Uhm I think it has something to do with the dominatory status of the household. I'm not exactly sure but it looks like Applejack is more like the alpha of the home. I'm not really sure but I'm just writing it as I see it
2279054
To be fair, I'd imagine they're scarcely even able to wrap their heads around the concept of shellshock. Not exactly a lot of firearms and explosives in Equestria, much less all-out warfare. All they know is the big, scary alien thing that kills demons like it's nothing is prone to randomly screaming in the middle of the night and doesn't have anywhere near as much of a hang-up about killing as they do. Still dickish considering what he's done for them, but I get the fear from their perspective. That said, one has to wonder how they got it into their heads that mistreating the thing you're terrified is going to kill you is in any way a good idea.
Someone is going to get strapped onto the bed tonight.
2279491
Equestria has always come off as pretty heavily matriarchal to me, if for no other reason than that females seem to make up a clear majority of the population. If that's the case, then it's probably just the natural order of things that the oldest capable mare should head of the house.
Clop not really important to me it the romance that seals the deal.
This was very nice ^-^
You used the wrong 'there' at the bottom of the description. It's 'there', not 'their'.
Seems interesting, though!
well that got out of hand quickly
Well this is just a great story, but who am I kidding the stories i have read that you typed are all great
Swandive into THE greatest night of your life
It's like a Spanish soap only one that I can actually deal with!
2277169
Agreed.
congrats on the feature! i had it faved BEFORE it was featured (lol bad hipster moment)
2279305
Actually, that might be useful to expand on the shell-shock. Just waking up yelling seems awfully mild; but if he's also wrecking the room physically, well then - that might freak them out just a smidgen.
Also: "I unholstered my mighty handgun..." lol
2280902 Yeah... I don't know what it is about the romancy stories I write. I mean, I write rather interesting action stories which do alright and I like them more because I don't have to imagine myself (Makes gesture like I am having intercourse) with a pony. Maybe god is trying to tell me something... God says: EVAN! You are to be a romance novelist. I look up to god. "REALLY!"