2279054 Not being an ass, just being extremely cautious and treating like an animal. It would be like if some creature showed up on Earth and stayed at your place but nearly every night woke up yelling. Would freak me out too and I have two rifles beside my bed when I sleep.
2279276 Yeah, I know that feeling. My mom hates the fact that I have rifles beside my bed. I don't suffer from shellshock, cause I haven't entered the service yet, but sometimes I'll just wake up in an angered fury for no particular reason and trash my room in a fury. Last time I kicked the air conditioner out of my wall and that didn't go over well with my mom. She was freaking out and I had no idea what she was going on about then I got up to my room and realized that my room was trashed and I had no recollection of it... oops
2279054 To be fair, I'd imagine they're scarcely even able to wrap their heads around the concept of shellshock. Not exactly a lot of firearms and explosives in Equestria, much less all-out warfare. All they know is the big, scary alien thing that kills demons like it's nothing is prone to randomly screaming in the middle of the night and doesn't have anywhere near as much of a hang-up about killing as they do. Still dickish considering what he's done for them, but I get the fear from their perspective. That said, one has to wonder how they got it into their heads that mistreating the thing you're terrified is going to kill you is in any way a good idea.
2279305 Actually, that might be useful to expand on the shell-shock. Just waking up yelling seems awfully mild; but if he's also wrecking the room physically, well then - that might freak them out just a smidgen.
This is without a doubt one of the most ludicrous stories I've ever encountered. Having said that, it is interesting in its own right and I'll be damned if it's not pretty good too!
Alright, we’re onto the fourth chapter and we’re back in Fleur’s perspective… Ah! And Dale’s in a separate scene? Okay, a switch in the tracks! Not bad!
… ““Mmm how I do love yogurt”” – No error here, I just wanted to point out how much this sounds like a 60’s advertisement campaign. … “that’s when” – An unnecessary space has been placed here. … “all got serious spooked out” – ‘serious’ should be ‘seriously’. … “arose a smile on my face” – ‘arose a smile on’ should be ‘brought a smile to’.
Dale's story on how he became seen as a villain was... a bit hard to believe. It wasn't exactly 'easy' to kill the demon, after all... Well, I guess if it's made to make him look more like a victim, I can understand it a bit, but still, we have a naïve Princess of the sun, a student who's researching Friendship that couldn't just say "Hey, let's have him lock his guns somewhere safe!" and chose to outright allow Applejack to kick him into the barn (despite him not being a threat otherwise).
Not to mention the other elements. Honesty and Loyalty would side with the ponies, but Kindness and Generosity would side with Dale under the belief that he could be helped. It's really hard to believe him being treated like an animal in such a way... especially when Winona is even given rather equal treatment in the show. Oh well, if it pushes the point along...
... You're really pressing the suspension of disbelief to its breaking point, but I guess you've kept the ponies in character for the most part, so I can't argue "Horseapples" just yet. As for the story, it's a bit graphic, but considering Dale's 'War-Hardened', I guess that's alright. Might as well read another chapter, I've got plenty of time after all. 'Sides, now Fleur's developing a personality and Dale's taking a brief shining to her.
I was really interested in reading a Fleur fic... However, the displeasure of having to read a veteran's bitching & whining first has killed my mood. I'm stopping here. No offense to vets, but if you're not moving forwards, you are moving backwards, and backwards is no way to go.
... Why is there so many "military in Equestria" fanfics anyway? It's a world with very little, or at least laughable problems; no need to bring war into the mix of such a peaceful, happy place.
I placed a grenade round into the launcher and pumped it closed. I holstered my Desert Eagle then looked to the family that now cowered in the barn. I put on my most expressionless face, “I’ll be back” I told them. God I had always wanted to do that.
2278926 Okay, I'm a little bit skeptical but, 'Comments and closed eyes in fear of what it could possible be'
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQk8rcuAIEDFCG5dSkscydPNmJaKWaIg1nR_xuvXBPYegBdi7LVwg :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain (paraphrased) or something to that effect.
So everypony is being an ass to him because of shellshock dude that's just crazy.
2278992 Monsters aren't born, they are made.
2279054 Not being an ass, just being extremely cautious and treating like an animal. It would be like if some creature showed up on Earth and stayed at your place but nearly every night woke up yelling. Would freak me out too and I have two rifles beside my bed when I sleep.
2279213
Yeah I always keep my colt 45 in the end table by my bed of course I have to keep my rifles in my safe.
so far so good
2279276 Yeah, I know that feeling. My mom hates the fact that I have rifles beside my bed. I don't suffer from shellshock, cause I haven't entered the service yet, but sometimes I'll just wake up in an angered fury for no particular reason and trash my room in a fury. Last time I kicked the air conditioner out of my wall and that didn't go over well with my mom. She was freaking out and I had no idea what she was going on about then I got up to my room and realized that my room was trashed and I had no recollection of it... oops
2279054
To be fair, I'd imagine they're scarcely even able to wrap their heads around the concept of shellshock. Not exactly a lot of firearms and explosives in Equestria, much less all-out warfare. All they know is the big, scary alien thing that kills demons like it's nothing is prone to randomly screaming in the middle of the night and doesn't have anywhere near as much of a hang-up about killing as they do. Still dickish considering what he's done for them, but I get the fear from their perspective. That said, one has to wonder how they got it into their heads that mistreating the thing you're terrified is going to kill you is in any way a good idea.
2279305
Actually, that might be useful to expand on the shell-shock. Just waking up yelling seems awfully mild; but if he's also wrecking the room physically, well then - that might freak them out just a smidgen.
Also: "I unholstered my mighty handgun..." lol
2279085 Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells.
BELLS OF NOTRE DAMNE!
This is without a doubt one of the most ludicrous stories I've ever encountered. Having said that, it is interesting in its own right and I'll be damned if it's not pretty good too!
Alright, we’re onto the fourth chapter and we’re back in Fleur’s perspective… Ah! And Dale’s in a separate scene? Okay, a switch in the tracks! Not bad!
… ““Mmm how I do love yogurt”” – No error here, I just wanted to point out how much this sounds like a 60’s advertisement campaign.
… “that’s
when” – An unnecessary space has been placed here.
… “all got serious spooked out” – ‘serious’ should be ‘seriously’.
… “arose a smile on my face” – ‘arose a smile on’ should be ‘brought a smile to’.
Dale's story on how he became seen as a villain was... a bit hard to believe. It wasn't exactly 'easy' to kill the demon, after all... Well, I guess if it's made to make him look more like a victim, I can understand it a bit, but still, we have a naïve Princess of the sun, a student who's researching Friendship that couldn't just say "Hey, let's have him lock his guns somewhere safe!" and chose to outright allow Applejack to kick him into the barn (despite him not being a threat otherwise).
Not to mention the other elements. Honesty and Loyalty would side with the ponies, but Kindness and Generosity would side with Dale under the belief that he could be helped. It's really hard to believe him being treated like an animal in such a way... especially when Winona is even given rather equal treatment in the show. Oh well, if it pushes the point along...
... You're really pressing the suspension of disbelief to its breaking point, but I guess you've kept the ponies in character for the most part, so I can't argue "Horseapples" just yet. As for the story, it's a bit graphic, but considering Dale's 'War-Hardened', I guess that's alright. Might as well read another chapter, I've got plenty of time after all. 'Sides, now Fleur's developing a personality and Dale's taking a brief shining to her.
*sigh*...
I was really interested in reading a Fleur fic... However, the displeasure of having to read a veteran's bitching & whining first has killed my mood. I'm stopping here. No offense to vets, but if you're not moving forwards, you are moving backwards, and backwards is no way to go.
... Why is there so many "military in Equestria" fanfics anyway? It's a world with very little, or at least laughable problems; no need to bring war into the mix of such a peaceful, happy place.
2551846
This is not realistic...
Terminator?