• Member Since 27th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 7th, 2013

Mayclore


T

Fuyu, Twilight, and the rest of their friends attempt to strike a balance between leading a normal life in Ponyville and dealing with the ramifications of Pinkie Pie's brilliant idea. While they busy themselves, an old enemy threatens to upend the fragile balance - and reveal a secret about the mysterious woman in black.

Humanized. Sequel to White.

Cover art by Meh.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 12 )

I really like the new tone set by the rewrite. I think that by starting out this way, it sets the upcoming story up for a more psychological feel than White. I loved Fuyu's reactions to the first clone-kill; it really showcased how much she grew over the course of the previous story. Looking forward to whatever comes next.

Watch in awe as Twilight does SCIENCE! some of her ideas are completely crazy... I love it.

this story is awsome, i dont understand why its not more popular.
anyway good chapter, cant wait to see more :pinkiehappy:

and the plot deepens, great chapter:pinkiehappy:

dammit, why must it end when its so exiting:pinkiesad2:

I'm constantly and totally blown away by how naturally and completely you've both humanized and AU'd the characters here. The world that would be Equestria feels complete and whole without a complete disconnect from canon, but the threads of humanity's harshness run through strong and clear all the same. And now, with Trixie and the Alicorn Amulet and how they relate to Fuyu... this chapter was, as always, masterfully crafted, intriguing, exciting, and left me waiting and hoping for more.

oooh, does Fuyu's black sludge have something to do with nightmare moon?:rainbowderp:
this is simply too awesome:yay:

... And we finally find out exactly why Fuyu knew Twilight's name upon seeing her. Alright then. Damn.

I loved his chapter, and I love how Fuyu hasn't quite figured it out yet.

Ooooooooh shit. See, I had a sneaking suspicion, but now that it's confirmed, I can't wait to see what happens :pinkiehappy:

DAMN.
CLIFFHANGER CENTRAL OVER HERE.

I FINALLY got around to reading this, and I was not disappointed:pinkiehappy:
Can't wait for the third installment:heart::twilightsmile:

Read through both stories tonight. I'll discuss them separately.

I have no idea what I think of White. I kept hoping Fuyu would die by the end, and then she'd do something that hit a heartstring just so, and then I was back to not sympathizing with her again five minutes later. I couldn't call it a pleasant read in any sense of the word, but it was a compelling one, and I think I may have even learned something about how to create interest in a character who lacks many conventional hooks. It's better to have a protagonist who draws you in than one you don't care about, so I gave it a like, but it's definitely not something I'd reread.

Gray maintains a degree of shock with the deaths of the clones, but it removes the central conflict of whether Fuyu can live in Ponyville, and the story feels kind of empty with that gone. It was pretty obvious that the Trixie subplot would ultimately resolve itself peacefully, and the main plot of learning what Fuyu really is . . . I just don't feel satisfied by the answers. (Did Celestia really need to abandon Fuyu, rather than letting her keep the amulet and training her for another purpose? Would she really have been so thoughtless as to leave the amulet lying around? If she knew Fuyu was killing her subjects, why didn't she do something to eliminate the threat? For that matter, isn't Fuyu, herself, potentially a greater threat than Twilight?) It didn't fit together, and it didn't fill the central void in this story.

Since I've already gotten this far, I think I'll read Black once it's complete, just to see what I think.

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