Flaris the Pegasus

The Writers' Group56,491 stories ·9,300 members

When Flaris crashed he saw it as a failure. He needs to get back to Canterlot to complete his military training. But does he really want to?

Chapters (3)

chapter 1 · 22nd Feb 2013 · 1,000 words
1,000
Download .txt
Download .html
Chapter 2 · 11th Mar 2013 · 1,001 words
1,001
Download .txt
Download .html
chapter 3 · 29th Mar 2013 · 1,180 words
1,180
Download .txt
Download .html

Comments ( 11 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 11
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Comment posted by The Guy on Your Right deleted Mar 29th, 2013

Thorlol

Thorlol #2 · Feb 23rd, 2013 · · · chapter 1 ·

1000 words?
Seems legit.

Comment posted by Doctor Song MD deleted Mar 29th, 2013

Comment posted by ChocoLatte deleted Mar 29th, 2013

Comment posted by Gherkin deleted Mar 29th, 2013

orionstar

orionstar #6 · Feb 28th, 2013 · · · chapter 1 ·

Hello friend happen to find the story a little interesting. Even though you do have grammar errors I just read past them like in my own writing. Just get someone to proofread your writing. I'm just as bad a writer probably even worse lol just write on brother write on

Comment posted by DPheonix deleted Mar 29th, 2013

Commissar Rarity

Commissar Rarity #8 · Mar 29th, 2013 · · · chapter 3 ·

>deleting comments

And Pica_Pie's to boot. I haven't seen that kid say anything rude which makes this suspect. Time to read the fic and see why these comments got erased.

Flaris heard a gulp "Hope he doesn't mind strangers." said the lavender mare as she leaned in and kissed him. Flaris eyes opened to look at the mare before he fainted with a wide grin on his face.

ahahahahaha
Now i see why. People were complaining about OCxMane 6. Especially when it's sloppy like this.

You should fire PuddingNPie, as there's a bunch of grammatical errors he failed to pick up on.

DPheonix

DPheonix #9 · Mar 29th, 2013 · · · chapter 3 ·

2339600 i personally found his a bit rude actually changing the way MY OC talks. i mean come on. also I'm so tired of seeing comments about gramma errors rather then reading the story.

Commissar Rarity

Commissar Rarity #10 · Mar 29th, 2013 · · · chapter 3 ·

2339688 Regardless of content it's bad form to delete comments. It gives the appearance that you're ignoring criticism and immature, even if you're not.

ChocoLatte

ChocoLatte #11 · May 4th, 2013 · · · chapter 3 ·

>Looks through my Google Drive
>Finds FtP proofreading doc
"I totally recognize that fic! I wonder what became of it..."
>Massive comment deletion +Two new chapters
"Hey, I'm mentioned in the Ch.2 A/N!"

and to that special guy who decided to redo the story and change some of the words around. I thank you for the courtesy but I'm afraid that some of the changes you made are not how I speak or Flaris speaks and some changes change the flow of the story. So I'm just going to say don't do that as people may take it the wrong way and see it as your trying to change the way their OC's think and speak.

"What? Are you not familiar with the concept of editing...?
"I can assure you that I never changed the characterization or the flow of the story (per se)!"

~ChocoLatte
PS. There's still (lots of) room for improvements on your grammar...