Cadence let out a shiver as she walked towards the balcony. It was close to ten, but there was a bitter chill to the air despite it being the middle of summer. It was almost as if all warmth had left Equestria.
So far her day had been every bit as eventful as she had predicted. As soon as the sun came up reporters had gathered at the front gates demanding answers. Cadence and Midnight had gone out to speak with them, the small of the two scared out of her wits. While the reporters yelled out accusations that Midnight might be plotting something, the bat filly hid behind her adopted mother. The alicorn of love stood tall while she did her best to squash every vile question they had. She stated that Midnight wasn’t plotting anything evil nor did she have any ill intent. The whole thing had taken almost two hours ending with many of the reports returning to their offices to find some way to twist Cadence’s words around.
“Why are we up here mommy?” asked Midnight as she broke Cadence out of her thoughts.
“We’re waiting for waiting for Auntie Celestia, Princess Luna, and Shining Armor to return,” said Cadence with a smile which Midnight returned.
“Do you think we can play some more with Mr. Shiny?” asked Midnight. “I really liked him.” Cadence let out a giggle as playfully messed up her daughter’s mane.
“I do to,” admitted Cadence. Just then, she heard the guards begin to shout something. Looking in the direction of Ponyville, Cadence saw a single chariot flying through the skies. As it got closer she grew worried due to the fact that the only pony she could see was Celestia. When it landed Cadence held back a gasp at the sight of her aunt’s bruised cheek. “Auntie, what happened?”
“My sister,” said Celestia in a quiet voice as she left the chariot. “It seems she had sent her own student to Ponyville as well. It seems that she found out some things that upset the both of them and, before she could give me a chance to explain, lost her temper. She then canceled the union between our nations before demanding that she never hear from me again.”
Cadence narrowed her eyes. “What ‘things’ did she find out Auntie?”
“I will tell you once this is over,” said Celestia as she walked part her niece. As she did a scroll and quill appeared next to her. “Right now I have to try and reason with Luna.”
-x-
Shining Armor let out a sigh. Currently he was staring out of a window in the palace that faced the planet. Even though he had been there for a brief amount of time, he now found himself missing it for some reason. ‘Or perhaps’, he thought to himself, ‘you’re missing somepony.’
It was true; he had felt a connection to the pink princess. She was different from the mares here on the moon. She was…good. There was no other way he could explain it. Cadence was so determined to do the right thing and to help. He liked how quickly she took to her role as a mother figure as if she had been practicing it for years. The time they spent playing with Midnight had been the most fun he had since Twilight had moved out. Speaking of Twilight, he regretted that they never got the chance to meet. If they had he was sure that they would have become friends.
Slowly he pulled himself away from the window…only to crash into Princess Luna.
“P-Princess,” stammered Shining as he backed up. “Please forgive me! I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“At ease,” said Luna with a hint of a smile. “I think I might know what has my-” She was then cut off as a scroll surrounded by a golden glow appeared next to her. Sighing in irritation she picked up the scroll with her magic before magically summoning a recycling bin. With a look of annoyance, Luna then dropped the scroll into the bin.
Shining blinked. “Princess, what was that about?” he asked.
“Just another letter from my sister,” said Luna as she rolled her eyes. “This is the third one she has sent this hour. We will have to do something about this. That or enchant the shield spell surrounding the palace to redirect her mail to the recycling plant.”
“I will get on it right away,” said Shining Armor as he bowed. Luna, however, shook her head.
“There are others in the Shield Corps that I can ask,” she said. “I want you to go home and relax.” Shining Armor opened his mouth to argue, but Princess Luna gently placed a hoof on his shoulder to silence him. “You have been up for over twenty four hours. You’re thoughts are also focused on Cadence right now. It’s written all over your face so please don’t say it isn’t.”
“I never get to say goodbye,” said Shining as he looked out the window once again. He then shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this! I knew her for barely a day! I…I just don’t understand why I’m feeling like this. It makes no sense.”
‘Love rarely ever does,’ thought Luna as a sad smile appeared on her face. She had seen the signs clear as the night under a full moon. It might not have been the moment the two of them made eye contact, but it happened. A connection had been made, one she had seen countless times in the Republic. Sadly, however, it looked like it was never going to be.
“Shining, please go home and get some rest,” she said. “Or you can go spend some time with your new niece. Whatever you do just relax, get your mind off the planet, and…you’re not listening to me anymore, are you?” It was true. As soon as Shining heard the word niece his mind went into overdrive as a look of horror appeared on his face.
‘She’s adopted,’ he thought to himself. ‘Even though she has a purple mane like Shadow’s, it’s impossible for her to her to really be Twily’s daughter. I mean, Twily would have to use a birth acceleration spell and then and age spell to make her look like a nine year old filly. Unless she had her nine years ago and has been hiding it from me! No, I would have noticed something! My imagination is just running away with me right now. She’s part of the family. Twily will make a great mother. And Shadow…I guess he’ll take on the role of father.’ Shining’s eye began to twitch. ‘He might try to take advantage of the situation. Spending more time with Twily then pushing her into doing things she is NOT ready for!’
“I think I’ll go home now,” said Shining as he began to walk away. As he did, Luna smirked as she wondered what the captain of the Shield Corps was going to do. But before she could wonder about anything in great detail another scroll from her sister appeared next to her only to be tossed into the recycling bin.
-x-
“THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY EVER!” Twilight groaned as she heard somepony practically screaming in her ear. Slowly Twilight opened her eyes to see Scootaloo buzzing through the air. The look on the young filly’s face was that of pure joy as she simply circled around the room. However she was going too fast and soon crashed into a wall. “I’m ok,” she said as she peeled herself off said wall.
“Well it seems like everything went well,” said Twilight as she gave Shadow a nudge. The stallion grunted in response causing Twilight to nudge him again only a little harder. Clicking his tongue, Shadow opened his eye and then yawned loudly.
“So, is flying everything you thought it would be?” asked Shadow as the couple stood up. Scootaloo turned to look at them with a big smile on her face. Once again she took to the air.
“Yes! Yes! A thousand times YES!” she cheered as she tried to do a summersault only to crash into the ground. Shadow chuckled.
“Looks like I’m going to have to give somepony some flying lessons soon,” said Shadow with a grin. He then glanced at a wall clock and then groaned. “I have to get back to work. Knowing Lightning, she’s probably been goofing off since we left.”
Twilight giggled. “It’s alright,” she said as she gave her coltfriend a peck on the cheek. “I’ll take Scootaloo home for now and then later we can see if she can be enrolled at Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Ponies.”
“Can I fly there?” asked Scootaloo as she once again started to fly. Sadly her lift off was a bit too powerful and she crashed her head on the ceiling.
“I think it would be better if you walked for now,” laughed Twilight as she patted Scootaloo on the head. “Just until you get a few flying lessons.”
“Okay,” grumbled Scootaloo. With that, the trio parted ways. As Shadow made his way down the corridor leading towards the training grounds, Twilight and Scootaloo walked towards the main entrance. As they did, Scootaloo kept skipping happily next to Twilight. Her body felt lighter and she felt like she had more energy than before. She also noted that her wings were slightly bigger as well.
As the two stepped out of the castle, Scootaloo looked up at the sky…and her jaw hit the ground. Above her were countless stars as well as a blue and green planet. The filly’s knees began to shake as confusion began to take over. She then looked around her only to notice the white, rocky surface around her. It almost looked like a desert. She didn’t know where they were, but it certainly wasn’t anywhere near Equestria.
“Is something wrong?” asked Twilight as she noticed Scootaloo’s confusion.
“W-Where are we?” asked the orange filly.
“Oh that’s right,” said Twilight as she face hoofed. “I forgot to tell you earlier. Now please stay calm. You are in the Lunar Republic on the moon.” Scootaloo blinked for a moment before fainting.
Twenty minutes later Scootaloo woke up wondering what happened. The last thing she remembered was Twilight telling her… Jumping up, Scootaloo saw that Twilight was standing a few feet away from her. The orange filly began to back up until her hind legs told her that there was no more ground. Looking behind her she saw that she was on a floating piece of metal that was zipping across the ground.
“Scootaloo, please stay calm,” said Twilight.
“But you said we’re on the moon,” said Scootaloo as she pointed a hoof at Twilight. “Isn’t the moon full of pony eating monsters?!”
Twilight shook her head. “Scootaloo, you’ve been mislead your entire life,” said Twilight calmly. She then gave the filly a small smile. “I’ve lived here my entire life. Tell me, do I look like a pony eating monster? Does Shadow?”
“N-No,” admitted Scootaloo. “But the stories-”
“They’re all lies,” said Twilight. “A thousand years ago, we left Equestria because of the way they treated us. They were afraid of us because we enjoyed the night instead of the day.”
“Really?” asked Scootaloo as she raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? That sounds dumb.”
Twilight giggled. “Yes, it does sound dumb today. But a thousand years ago it was a really big deal.” The platform the two had been standing on began to slow down until it stopped altogether. “Well, this is our stop.”
As the two left the platform station, Scootaloo’s eyes were trying to take everything in. The ponies looked just like the ones back home. They were walking down the streets, talking to others, laughing with each other. From time to time she would see a street performer playing an instrument. It was…so normal. When Scootaloo pictured what it was like to live on the moon, she saw a nightmarish place were death lurked around every corner. Or at least that’s what she had attempted to draw for a Nightmare Night assignment for Miss Cheerilee.
Another thing that Scootaloo noticed were the houses. Each one looked exactly the same, a giant egg with a ring floating around the top. As Scootaloo noticed this, she wondered how Twilight could tell her home from the others. The homes were placed directly next to each other, the same space apart. It was like all of the ponies in the Republic owned the same amount of space.
The Twilight just stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk causing Scootaloo to bump into her. Looking forward, Scootaloo saw there were several ponies moving large boxes into one of the egg homes. One of the ponies, a white unicorn she had seen in the princess’s throne room, was standing outside barking orders to the other ponies. Twilight then snorted before charging towards him.
“Hey Twily,” said the stallion as he saw the two racing towards him.
“What’s going on here Shiny?” demanded Twilight. She then pointed a hoof at the building. “Why are you bringing all this stuff into my house?”
“Well I thought I’d help out by buying you some stuff for your new daughter,” said Shining Armor with a nervous grin. Twilight blinked at him for a moment before she walked inside the house. As Scootaloo followed, she felt she was back in the Ponyville Library. There were shelves filled with books everywhere. The only furniture she could see in the living room were a sofa with a small table next to it. Of course on the table was a couple of books.
Scootaloo noticed that Twilight was heading up a spiral staircase. Not knowing what else to do the young filly followed her up to a room halfway between the living up and the top of the stairs. Inside the room was a brand new bed, a couple of dressers, some stuffed creatures that Scootaloo had no idea what they were, and a brand new metal scooter. Scootaloo’s eye went wide as she fought the urge to cry. She had never had this much stuff before. Back in Equestria, the only thing she owned was a scooter that she had dug out of a trash can.
“Shiny, I…I don’t know what to say,” said Twilight as she turned to look at her brother. “I thought you were trying to move in with me. Again.” Shining let out an uncomfortable laugh.
“Yeah well I learned my lesson the last time I tried that,” said Shining as shifted on his hoofs. “Anyways, I also got you some new books as well. They’re in you room if you are interested.” Interested she was indeed. As soon as Shining finished speaking Twilight ran right out of the room towards her own. This left Scootaloo and Shining alone. “Well, I hope you like all this.”
“I do,” said Scootaloo as she bounced. She then began to hug Shining Armor. “I don’t know what to say!”
“Thank you works,” chuckled Shining. He then leaned down so his head was next to Scootaloo’s. “I was wondering if you might do me a big favor.”
The orange filly’s ears flattened. “What kind of favor?” she asked as she took a step back, slightly worried.
“Nothing bad,” said Shining calmly. “I just would like it if you could keep an eye on Twily for me. Let me know if Twilight and Shadow are getting a little too close or if he spends the night. Can you do that for me?”
Scootaloo blinked. “You mean if I see them sleeping together?” she asked innocently. Shining slowly nodded. “Well, I sort of saw them doing that earlier today in the doctor’s office.”
For a moment, Shining said nothing. He just stared into empty space. ‘They did THAT in a doctor’s office? And in front of a filly?!’ However, it never occurred to Shining that Scootaloo might have been literal when she said she saw them sleeping together. But, with his protective big brother mode in overdrive, Shining Armor raced out of the room to hunt down Shadow Blade.
Meanwhile, up in Twilight’s room, the purple unicorn was checking out the books Shining had given her. They were all about foal raising and a guide to being a single parent. All in all, they looked like they were good choices. She would really have to thank Shining for all of this later. It much of cost him a small fortune.
Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight thought she saw something shine. She put down the book she had been looking at to investigate. It turned out to be a stuffed star that was on her dresser. Funny, she never had one there before she left. She then shrugged, thinking that one of the movers put it in her room by mistake. Yet as she picked it up she noticed something odd about it. One part of the star was a slightly different shade of yellow. As her eyes narrowed she cast a detection spell only to find there was a camera in the stuffed star.
Twilight growled. So this was what Shining was really up to. He had placed nanny cams in her house to spy on her. Most likely to make sure she and Shadow didn’t do anything that he didn’t like. Slowly a smile appeared on her face as she thought of her first mother/daughter bonding exercise: hunting down all the expensive nanny cams and destroying them!
Huh so Cadence has been blocked from moon-hating culture. That puts a new light on some of the older chapters.
I personally agree with your idea of crime/punishment. Also, Shiny's a methinks. But he's nice to Scoots, so he's forgiven... for now.
2391329 yes...yes it dos
Wow!! Well, this certainly seems to have taken off!
Heh, as a fellow big brother, I feel for poor Shining. Still, he WAS being a touch over-the-top here. Besides, if Luna was off-the-hoof about it, he likely doesn't have much to worry about...
...of course the odds of rational thought getting through his skull right now seems about the same as Pinky Pie crashing through my door, Party cannon in hoof, but hey, a guy can dream right?
Next is Celestia's attempts at talking to Luna. Luna's reactions see about the same as my own would be, so I gotta admit I'm good there. I noticed we didn't see Celestia with the notes from Twilight in hoof. Now, that either means she has them in the carriage, or left them in Ponyville. In either case, her best bet in getting through to Luna DEPENDS on her having read the report, and from there taking effective action. From this point forwards, she needs to acknowledge that her ponies, and her through continued inaction, brought this on themselves. As it is, stress or not, I can't sympathies too much with Celestia since those letters seem to be her first response.
As my mom always told me, "if you expect things to change between others, effect change for yourself first." Getting Luna back in contact won't change the setting in Equestria at all. As it is, what Celestia needs to do, right now, is call out to her ponies. Even then, from the looks of things with Cadence, she'll see just how far they've fallen. From their, Celestia will need to make some seriously tough choices. Waiting too long got her into this mess, and the longer THIS goes on, the worse it'll get.
As a side note, am I the only one seeing the current situation being Prime Dis-Harmonious grounds for Discord's return? Especially if Celestia DOES outwardly condemn the foolish fables of the Lunar Republic, and the ponies not only not believe her, but believe she's been corrupted and call for her removal from power. Likely the nobles will fan that flame, and then our favorite chaos maker is ready for his comeback tour.
Well, that's my thoughts at this stage. Good work as usual, and I look forward to where this goes. Also, Piny is indeed a great pony!
Still, keeping the prisoners concious while trapped and unable to move while their minds slowly disintegate, in simply horrend. It reminds me the old "I don´t ponies into stone".
Even in Demolition Man, the fact prisoners remained awake during their imprisonment was ignored until Spartan mentioned it (as dumb as it sounds).
trolololololololololololololololooooo
The hunt for nanny cams is on!
This is an interesting turn of events. Tell me by the way, will the next chapter focused more on Celestia and/or one of anyone of Ponyville(meaning any of the elements of harmony)?
Well, I have to say, I really like this chapter, my favourite at the moment.
Still, 20 years, awake and unable to move, for simple embezzlement. It's been years but I'm pretty sure that's not how they did it in Demo Man, in fact I doubt the PG losers of future LA would be somewhat horrified by that, regardless of live ammo museums and three seashells. It seems like a really great way of turning white-collar criminals into dangerous psychopaths, though. And it just gives them more incentive not to get caught.
I expected something better than retributive justice from the seemingly-enlightened ponies of the republic.
Great chapter. Really looking forward to seeing the reactions of all Twilight's and Shadow's friend's like Derpy or Lightning Dust once they find out they have adopted daughter. Wonder how that fact will affect the betting pool that was mentioned in a earlier chapter.
2391606
Well, first of all, it's 20 years for stealing money from a top government project. Second, as I said in my AN notes that I plan on explaining more about this kind of justice latter. Maybe two or three chapters down the road. So until then enjoy the story!
2392395 Okay. But until then just answer me this: Does Scootaloo know how to use the three seashells?
2391393
I really like that idea of the nobles attempting to overthrow Celestia due to her sudden interest in saving the bat ponies, and undoing the rumors about the moon ponies. I could see Celestia try to right the wrongs of her nation but most of the nobles are angered and decide to claim the princess is unsuited to rule by claiming the moon ponies have brainwashed her and Cadence. Then Celestia, Cadence, Midnight, and a hodgepodge of a few loyal Royal Guards escape by actually fleeing to the moon much like her sister had 1000 years prior. Meanwhile in Equestria, complete chaos is unleashed by the rival nobles who all think they should be the new king leading to a civil war of sorts. Additionally some of the ponies don't believe Celestia was wrong or brainwashed and become Loyalists. (I doubt every pony hates bat-ponies, in smaller areas of population that have little visitation, it could be possible for some of the bat-ponies to have just been viewed like any other pegasi. Basically, like in places where a bat pony's lineage has stayed in a certain small town a long time, and none of them have been thieves. So their viewpoint would differ immensely)
Poor Shiny & Cadence
Poor Twilight, her older brother has gone 1984 on her.
Haha oh Twi should put a lil show on for her nosy bro hehe.
2392506
No. I guess Twilight will have to teach her.
See its brothers like Shining that make me afraid of going out with guys...that and it doesn't help that my dad has a shotgun.
This should have been "Nervous eye-twitch" for a *Shining_Armor.exe has stopped working. Terminate program? Y/N*
I read the entire story in one afternoon and I enjoyed every single word of it. Even the typos.
I can’t wait until the next chapter.
I guess that makes sense. your explanation on the moon prison system. But still Lunar justice is one cold unforgiving mare.
2393129 Sorry for the late reply but I like this chapter there seems to be a lot of foreshadowing. Well that and Shinning Armors over the top reaction to his sister becoming a mother and spending time with her colt-friend.
Side note, Poor Candence and Shinning Armor I feel bad for them.
There is sure a lot of moving parts and I wounder how it will all fit?
Well until next time.
Good luck in the future I hope for the best.
Would it be rude for me to ask on the status update on the next chapter?
2414549
Sorry but the last episode of Psych blew my mind so much that I have a bit of writers block. Shawn and Jules need to stay together!
Wrong thing to say Scoot
Positives?
The beginning was charming. I appreciate Twilight's and Luna's dialog. Certain gestures and imagery definitely brought a smile. The moon's setting was nicely captured and explained.
Negatives?
Bad pacing. Bad editing. Unbalanced perspectives. Lack of impact on Twilight exploring Equestria. Too many purposeless flashbacks. Too many obvious cut-out characters. Fan pandering at its worst. Dangling canon Mane 6 plot point.
-----------------
Overall... I'm going with a "meh." A bit sad, since the first chapter had so much potential. So much! I adored that chapter's writing style, and how imaginative you were with that setting. But since then... that creativity and talent had dried. And now it feels like you only type when you're angsty/emotional/moody and it's affecting the story's cohesiveness and ingenuity.
Looking at the story now. It has become something strange. Imagine "unlikely alternate universe" mixed with "slice of life" chunks, then patch them together. This is not a bad story. Just a mildly disappointing one.
2.8/5 stars
This line
I was laughing my head off and face-hoofing for about 5 minutes
Shining... what did you do?
2501067 So much this.
I'm reading the story because it does have some interesting points, but there's too much 'toeing the line' in regards to how certain characters are.
A couple of examples:
1, Shining Armor is an overprotective big brother. I hate, hate, hate this. Why can't he be shown as the supportive brother? Why can't he be a positive influence in Twilight's life other than an overbearing moron? This irks me to no end. I see so many stories just cast him as the guy who hits other stallions first if they so much as look at his little sister. Complete lack of inspiration.
2. Trixie. The way she's depicted in this story is just awful. I was fine with her getting drunk and letting out what she really thinks of Lunar ponies, but overall, her character is just terrible. I've always seen her character as one of a showmare who plies her trade by exaggerating her actions and words as she always thinks of herself as on stage. She's out for attention. If you watch the first episode she's in, she's actually got a pretty decent crowd and getting into her act. Spike's the one that pretty much snowballs her into what the fandome has devolved her character into. On top of that, Snips and Snails are basically little boys doing typical dumb little boy things.
I want to like this story, but some of it has me banging my head on the table as I try to find the logic in the suspention of disbelief.
I'll read on and see if the author continues to develop. I know that's how I improved as a writer.
I didn't have a problem with the last chapter. THe Dr. Blue Star used goivernment money ment for a backup plan to save their lives and she used it to by a DRESS! It could almost be consiered treason. so she got off lucky.
4926750 well considering she all the family she has in this one I give it a by. some stories do go overboard.
and Trixie, well if the writers had waited a tad longer it would be Sunset instead.
And remeber she has had different experiences then Cannon Trixie thus the difference.
2391606 dude imagine if someone embezzled on the Manhattan project. What BlueStar did is tantimount to treason
Well. It appears that Shadow is now on Shining's extra special shit list.
And so, shining's avatar changes from blaster blade to Blaster Dark Revenger "Abyss"
You watch Stargate Atlantis too? I honestly thought I was the only one who liked it! Awesome! I don't remember that episode, though... could you give me a few more details to jog my memory?
6923626
It was the episode where the government made a deal with the Wraith. They hand over their worst criminal to the Wraith and in return the rest of the planet is spared. However the problem became that the punishment worked too well and the crime rate became so low that all criminals and those suspected of a crime were sent to the island. The team got stranded there for almost half the episode with their puddle jumper damaged. Really good one in the second season
You’re thoughts
Your
Is that title a reference to 1984?
7296553 Yeah, it's where the phrase big brother became popularized.
i would be fine with pinkie pie and rarity being removed but with princess twilight being removed in legends of everfree along starlight and sunset being twilight's students instead of both pony and human trixie being twilight's student pissed me off and i would be ranting all day about all of this and even portrayed both twilight and trixie being as upset as i am
*Sigh* Any psychiatrist will tell you: Certainty of punishment is a far bigger deterrent than severity of punishment. If you doubt it consider:
They used to publicly hang pickpockets. The audience was a favorite target of other pickpockets.
In the USA alone, over 300,000 people die every year from smoking. People still smoke.
Over 40,000 people die every year in car wrecks. People still drive cars.
Why? Because everyone is convinced it won't happen to them. Like I said, certainty beats severity.
8155780 if anything I think it works to show the lunar republic isn't a utopia, it's based off of luna' s philosophy of direct and swift action, which sometimesmeans you're saving lives, and sometimes means you're not thinking through what you're doing all the way and people get hurt. In much the same way, celestia' s philosophy of inaction and patience means you can fairly deal with lesser threats that come to your attention, but larger direct threats accomplish more then they should and society's progress halts. It's good that both kingdoms have realistic faults.
The author's notes concerning the punishment, insofar as I have read up until now, suggest to me a bit of a contradictory approach. On the one hand, it could show harsh and unequal(!) punishment as a possible flaw for the Lunars (who have been touted as the more moral characters compared to Equestria), on the other hand, you seem determined to show that it's actually not that harsh, undermining the first point and leaving us again with Equestria=Bad, NLR=Good.
I wonder how things will continue.
I don't see the problem with the logic behind the LR's style of justice.
The logic is "The Higher You Rise, The Further You Fall." which pretty much means that the more important you become, the harsher your punishments will be if you think you can get away with it just because you think that you are important. Higher positions of power mean that you are held to a higher standard. A large amount of ponies on the moon are descended from somepony who was screwed over by an Equestrian Noble or was obstructed from bringing their grievances to the Day Court by the Nobility.
Dr Star was the head of a project that, if successful, could have resolved the republic's resource issues without needing to resort to making deals with Equestria. By stealing money from the project, she not only embezzled funds, but potentially hindered the progress of the project for personal gain. She Rose High and Fell Far.