Search for the Truth part 3
Shadow slowly walked around the spot underneath the Truth Light like a shark circling its prey. The room was empty of any other pony for the moment, leaving him with his thoughts. ‘So far I have proof that the evidence incriminating the Equestrians for the attack on Twilight presented in the trial has been tampered with,’ he thought to himself. ‘Now I just need to confirm my last suspicion with the Truth Light.’
Shadow paused as his ears pressed against his forehead. So far his findings pointed to one of two possibilities. The first was that somepony out there was framing Applejack and the others and that the LBI had missed these clues in their veal. Shadow had to admit that this was, at least, a possibility. With everything that was going on there was barely a soul within the Republic that didn’t feel some resentment towards the other pony nation. But, if that was true, then that would mean that the LBI had failed to notice anything was wrong with the crime scene and the chance that the security footage had been tampered with. Not only that, for somepony to do all of this would need a great deal of security clearance to be able alter the footage.
Then there was the other possibility: the LBI was in on it. That thought sent a chill down Shadow’s spine. The LBI was one of the most loyal groups of ponies towards the Republic and to Princess Luna. Their organization existed to find those criminals who would deal serious damage towards both and alert the Guard should they find something. Just getting in took years of dedicated training and a screening process that some called overkill. So why would they be in on something like this? Why would they throw away their lives for something like this?
Shadow’s ears perked as the sound of hoofsteps approached the room. He turned around in time to see the door open and two ponies walk in the room. One was Lightning Dust and the other was a stallion by the name of Easy Target. He was short, slightly heavy set neon green unicorn with a red mane that had white stripes in it. Shadow knew that this stallion was still a rookie that had barely been able to get into the Guard. He was the first to be taken down in training and his test scores were just above passable. Still, on the plus side, he was a hard worker who put in twice the amount of effort that other rookies did.
“We’re here,” said Lightning Dust as the two entered the room. As they did, Lightning turned to look at Target. “You sure you want to help? We can’t force you.”
“It’s fine,” he replied. “I’ll do anything I can to help. Just tell me what you want me to do.”
“It’s simple,” said Shadow. “We’re just running a test on the Truth Light, that’s all.”
Target opened his mouth, but quickly closed it as a thoughtful look appeared on his face. “Ok,” he said slowly. “But, if you don’t mind me asking sir, why didn’t you just use Lightning Dust instead of wasting time finding another pony?”
“It’s best to have at least three ponies doing this,” replied Shadow as he gestured Target to stand under the Truth Light. “Encase there are…issues that might rise up.”
“I see,” said Target as he stepped under the Truth Light. Then his eyes widened. “Wait, what kind of issues?”
Shadow didn’t answer, instead activating the Truth Light. Once it was activated, a soft thud was heard overhead. And this time, Shadow wasn’t the only member of the Guard who heard it.
“What was that?” asked Lightning as she looked up.
“I don’t know,” replied Shadow, his eyes narrowing as he did. “But I heard the same thing during the trial.” Shadow paused for a moment, looking slightly worried as he did. In the end he shook his head and regained his serious expression.
“Ok, let’s get this over with,” he said as he looked at Easy Target. “State your name and rank.”
“I am Private Easy Target of the Royal Guard,” replied the stallion.
“Ok, that one was easy,” said Shadow as he thought of something else he could ask. “What did you dress as last Dreamers Eve?”
“I went as the original Blue Pony Ranger,” replied Target, looking slightly embarrassed.
“Oh I got a question,” said Lightning as pushed her boss to the side. “How many times have you stared at my plot?”
“Never,” said Target in a deadpanned voice.
Lightning Dust blinked before letting out an irritated sigh. “Ok, this thing has to be broken,” she said. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to stare at this tight plot all day and night.”
“Not me,” replied Target as Shadow rolled his eyes.
“Fine then,” said Lightning as she puffed up her cheeks. “Then tell me, whose plot do you stare at?”
Now Target looked very uncomfortable. “Captain Shadow Blade’s,” he said. This caused Lightning’s jaw to drop as Shadow looked away.
“Well,” said Lightning after a while. “I…wasn’t expecting that.”
“Anyways,” said Shadow as he took a step forward. “I think it’s working so far. Now for the next question. Easy Target, did you release a parasprite into the Republic?”
Lightning rolled her eyes. ‘Seriously?’ she thought. ‘What is he expecting? That Target will confess to a crime that he couldn’t possibly commit?’
“Yes,” said Target who suddenly looked very surprised as did Lightning and Shadow. “I did it in the name of Celestia for the good of Equestria.”
Shadow’s eyes narrow. “Did you attack Twilight Sparkle?” he asked through gritted teeth. “If so, how and why?”
“Yes!” cried out Easy Target whose face had an expression of pure horror. “I went in there with an apple peeler hidden under my hat and stabbed her. Princess Celestia order her death for ruining the merger back in Ponyville. I did it in the name of Celestia and for the good of Equestria.”
Lightning felt her hind legs give out on her causing her plot to hit the floor. She looked nearly as shocked and confused as Target. What was happening right now…it just wasn’t possible. The Truth Light could only make a pony tell the truth hence the name. But now she was hearing a pony saying the exact same thing that both Fluttershy and Applejack said underneath the Truth Light.
‘The only way this could be happening would be if-’ thought Lightning but shook her head and headed the thought before it could finish. Any research into altering the Truth Light was an A-Rank Felony. All fillies and colts in the Republic were taught the various penalties one could receive for committing all types of crimes, their lesson wisely ending with A-Rank Felonies. Those who committed those crimes received a punishment so severe that the entire class had to be sent home because half of them threw up and had had a green tint to their fur for three days. Even now Lightning shivered at the thought of anypony being stupid enough to commit such a crime.
Shaking slightly, Lightning looked over towards Shadow before falling on back. The bat stallion was gritting his teeth so hard that blood was dripping from his jaw, his eyes dangerously narrow. She watched as he spread he spread his wings, flying towards a corner of the room. When he got there a keypad opened up on the wall and he practically slammed in a number sequence. Once that was finished, a hole opened up on the ceiling above to him large enough for a heavy set pony to enter followed by a ladder made of light. Shadow didn’t bother with the ladder, instead flying upwards to stick his head in.
“THAT BUCKING BASTARD!” screamed Shadow as he fell to the ground and began to punch the floor with both hooves. “WHY WOULD HE BE DOING THIS? WE TRUSTED HIM!”
Now Lightning was beginning to freak out. She looked up at the hole and gulped before moving towards the ladder. Once there she slowly began to climb up, her heartbeat forcing Shadow’s screams into the background. When she got to the hole she poked her head in.
Looking around, Lightning herself looking down a long narrow hallway that looked like a mare of her size would have to crawl to get around. All along the walls were wires, tubes, and glowing crystals of red, white, green, and purple. On the floor, she noticed was very dusty. So dusty in fact that she could easily see a path through the layer of dust signaling that somepony had been in here recently. Her eyes followed the trail which ended at the opposite end of the hallway where she saw something that she knew didn’t belong there.
It was a black cube about four inches tall that seemed to emit an eerie red glow from the three red crystals she could see coming out of its side. From the cube came wires that had pierced the sides of the hallway as the device lay there on the floor.
“Lightning get down here and don’t touch that…thing,” came Shadow’s voice, startling the mare. Slowly the mare climbed down the ladder and found Easy Target was no longer under the effects of the Truth Light. The stallion was shaking slightly, but other than that he was fine. Shadow; on the other hoof, still looked furious.
“Private Easy Target,” said Shadow as Lightning’s hooves touched the floor. “I want you to stay here and guard this room. If anypony other than me, Lightning Dust, or Princess Luna enters this room I want to be notified immediately. Is that clear?”
“Yes sir,” said Target as he saluted.
“Good,” said Shadow as he shifted his focus towards Lightning. “Lightning Dust, you’re coming with me.”
Lightning Dust nodded as Shadow turned and dashed out of the room. For a short while the two galloped down the halls of the castle, Lightning doing her best to keep up with Shadow. However the bat stallion soon saw ponies up ahead and slowed his pace slightly so that he was next to Lightning with very little space between them.
“What I am going to tell you is top secret,” whispered Shadow so softly that Lightning could barely hear.
“D-Does it have anything to do with why Easy Target was acting that way and why you got so mad?” whispered Lightning.
Shadow nodded. “This goes back to when the Truth Light was first invented,” he whispered. “Do you remember what the history books said?”
This time Lightning Dust nodded. Before the Truth Light was invented, there was a bit more crime than there was today. While most ponies didn’t want to take the chance of being caught and placed in a prison pod or suffer any of the other harsh penalties, there were a few who thought they could lie their way out. Create a false alibi, get a friend to cover for them, or even pretend that whatever they did was an accident. Some even had some really smooth talking lawyers to assist them.
This all changed when the Truth Light was invented by a mare named Star Light. Within a week of its creation, it gained a ninety five percent approval rating from the entire Republic. The only ones who seemed against were the lawyers and those who questioned the morality of the device.
Seeing her nod, Shadow continued. “Then don’t you think it’s a bit strange that we don’t use it for every crime and that we still have to collect evidence?” he asked. “And why there are only two Truth Light’s in the entire Republic? The main one and a small portable one?”
“I ah,” began Lightning as they turned a corner. “To be honest, I never really thought about it.”
“That’s because of an event that happened four years after the creation of the Truth Light,” he answered. “After it was created, so many ponies thought it was such a wonderful invention. Some even suggested that it be put in every house, every building. But there were a few that disagreed with this and set off to prove there was a way to manipulate the Truth Light.
“Now, Star Light had found out during the tests that ponies under mind control would admit to crimes they had committed, sometimes without even knowing that they were under a spell. Another thing they found out that ponies with implanted memories would also confess. But this information didn’t bother the Senate since those kinds of spell required a high degree of magical control that only the highest class of unicorns could do them. They believed that if we kept tabs on those ponies we should be fine.
“Then, four years after the Truth Light was created, a scientist named White Lie created the Liars Cube. The Cube…it forces a pony to lie about certain things. From what I understand, a pony has to input certain information into the Cube relating to the questions asked and the response. Then, once it is connected to the Truth Light, it sends signals to the brain that force the pony under it to say the programmed response.”
“I…I don’t believe it,” said Lightning her eyes widening. “Why wasn’t anypony told about this?”
“Because the Truth Light cut the crime rate by eighty percent,” answered Shadow. “If news got out that there was a way to fool it, the Senate feared that many more ponies would try to use the Liars Cube to either frame another pony or confess their own innocence. It almost came to the point where Princess Luna was seriously considering permanently retiring the Truth Light to avoid all of this.
“But that never happened thanks to one Senator. He said that, as long as they took the proper precautions, the Truth Light could still be used. The number of Truth Lights were limited and kept within the castle and their use was to be under certain circumstances. The existence of the Liars Cube was kept from the public and any experimenting to create anything like it was deemed an A-Rank Felony.
“As for the existing Liars Cube, it was given to the head of the LBI. He was the only one in the organization to know it exists and was then given a special job: to keep an eye on anypony who had the knowledge to create one like it. It was supposed to be kept in a safe in his office, far away from the castle and Princess Luna herself does random inspections to make sure it stays there. Also, the access to the Truth Light’s mechanics is kept under tight lock and key. Only Princess Luna, myself, the head of the Science and Research Division, and the Senators have the combination to get into it.”
“So you’re saying that somepony attacked Twilight and then used that…thing to force the Equestria’s to admit to it?” said Lightning, her head lowering as she did.
“Yeah,” said Shadow gravely. “I’m almost dead certain Sealed Document himself has a hoof in this. If he wasn’t, he would have reported it missing.” As soon as Shadow finished his sentence, he noticed that Lightning was slowing down. She slowed from a gallop to a trot and then finally stopped, staring at the ground as she did. As Shadow slowed down and turned around, he noticed a tear falling to the ground.
“T-They died for nothing,” said Lightning as she lifted her head. Tears were running down her face while she bit her lower lip. “I-I trained with all of them. T-They w-were my…my FRIENDS!” With that the dam broke and Lightning fell into a full and uncontrollable sob.
Shadow didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. And he felt the same way. Both he and Lightning Dust had trained side by side and worked with ponies like Overkill, Red Shirt, and Doughnut. Those in Royal Guard and the Shield Corps formed close bonds with one and other. They shared the good and the bad timed with each other. They were more than a part of the Republic’s military: they were a family. And now somepony had manipulated a situation that had, so far, resulted in several deaths.
And, while she might not have said anything, Shadow knew that there was a small part of her (but in no way less important) that was torn up about what she had lost: her wings. Lightning Dust was a flyer. It was what she loved to do more than anything. It was her special talent. And having it taken away like that must have been a horrible blow, one that she tried to keep bottled up inside while telling herself that at least they had been lost while doing the right thing. That the Republic had been in the right. But now that was gone.
“Lightning,” said Shadow softly as he placed a hoof on her shoulder. As soon as she felt it, Lightning slowly looked up and gazed into Shadow’s own sorrowful expression. “I’m so sorry. I should have seen this. I suspected that something was wrong during the trial. But when I went to talk to Princess Luna, she pointed out something that I hadn’t noticed and suspected that Blueblood was the real mastermind behind all of this. That he could have used Celestia’s name or put those mares into a trance to get them to do such horrible crimes. It…It made sense at the time. If I, by the stars, how I wish right now I had spoken up about the others things I had noticed. Maybe…they would still be here right now. If you want to blame anypony then you should blame me.”
Lightning blinked as she heard this, slowly getting up as she did. For a moment, her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to yell and scream at him. That he was right, it was his fault. That he knew about that damned cube and never told anypony. That the blood of their comrades was on his hooves. Yet, as she looked at him in the eyes, she couldn’t find her voice. Instead, she lifted a hoof and smacked him as hard as she could. Shadow didn’t make a sound as his face turned with the blow, instinctively weakening the damage that could have been caused by the punch. Lightning then took a breath before striking him again on the other side of his face.
Again and again, Lightning continued to strike Shadow as the tears fell down her face. Right now she hated that look he had. One that mirrored what he had said. That he did truly believe that he was mainly at fault. And, little by little, the blows became softer and lower until she was lightly pounding his chest. And soon after that she fell back to the floor.
For a short while she just laid there, no longer crying. Instead she felt more confused. ‘I…I should be feeling better. At least just a little bit. Shadow…I punched him so much. He’s to blame…right?’ Suddenly Lightning’s eyes widened. No, she realized. He wasn’t to blame. Not entirely at least. He was only pony, capable of making mistakes and missing things. Princess Luna also knew about the Cube but even she didn’t think it was being used.
No, there was only one pony to blame.
“Sir,” said Lightning as she got up and looked Shadow in the eyes, a fire burning in hers. “I’m sorry for my actions right now and will submit to punishment. But, if it were possible, I would like to assist in locating and capturing the bucking bastard that caused all this mess so that I can see him pay for all the lives he’s ruined.”
Shadow raised an eyebrow. “Punishment? For what?” he asked.
“Ah, for striking you sir,” replied Lightning Dust.
“Funny, I don’t seem to remember that,” he replied with a half-smile which Lightning returned before his face once more became serious. “Now come on. We need to get moving. I want to check on something in the medical wing before heading to see Princess Luna.” Nodding, Lightning Dust followed her captain as they walked down the hallways once more.
Truthfully, Shadow didn’t want to arrest or punish Lightning. Enough ponies had suffered from recent events and given what Lightning Dust had been through he just didn’t have the heart to throw her into a prison pod. And he knew that had he refused Lightning Dust she would have tried to go after Sealed Document on her own which would have complicated things to say the least. No, in the end it was better that he kept her close that he could make sure she wouldn’t do anything foolish.
As they walked, Shadow’s mind was trying to make sense of this all. He knew that Sealed Document was involved in a massive cover up, that much was clear. However there was still much that Shadow didn’t know.
‘How did he get the Liar’s Cube up there?’ thought Shadow as a frown appeared on his face. ‘The Senators Room has no cameras in it and if any are brought in nopony is allowed to punch in the combination. He can’t hack it because any tampering alerts Princess Luna herself as will inputting the wrong combination three times. And the security system protecting it is completely separate from all the ones that the LBI monitors. And if he tried to force it out of one of the senators then all they would have to do is inform me or Princess Luna.
‘Then there’s that attack on Twilight. Why do that? Judging by what the mares said during the trial, it’s safe to say that he wants a conflict with Equestria. But there had to be a better way. He could have sabotaged something and left evidence pointing at the Equestrians. Or did he believe that Twilight would defend them again? But that would have been a moot point given what they said underneath the Truth Light and Twilight wouldn’t know about the Liar’s Cube. Did he fear that Twilight would say something that would have gotten Princess Luna to check for the Cube? Still, in the end, when Twilight wakes up she’ll be able to tell everypony who really attacked her. And why change the medicine-’
“Boss,” said Lightning, interrupting Shadow from his thoughts. The stallion blinked, realizing that they were close to the medical wing now. He then turned to look at Lightning Dust who also looked like she had been deep in thought. “I was wondering, why would they leave the Liar’s Cube with the Truth Light? Doesn’t that seem a little sloppy for the LBI?”
Shadow gave a small shrug. “I can think of a few theories off the top of my head,” he replied. “One being that they were simply unable to get it due to everypony having their hooves full with the trail and the conflict with Equestria. Or they could have left it there in case we got Blueblood or even managed to put Celestia under it.” Shadow let out a sigh. “As I said, these are just theories right now.”
Lightning nodded as the two entered the medical wing. All around were doctors and nurses moving around, making sure everything was ready for the upcoming battle. Medicine bags were being moved down the halls in droves as well as carts carrying various robotic limbs. In the middle of all of this was Healing Touch, doing her best to keep things organized.
“I want every surgery ward prepped for the worst,” she yelled. “If anypony is teleported here, I want us ready to perform any medical procedure they might need. I don’t care if they stubbed their hoof or lost it, we need to be ready! And where is Nurse Voice? Has anypony seen her?”
Hearing this caused Shadow to stop which resulted in a doctor crashing into his rear. A cold sweat appeared over his body and he thought that his heart skipped a beat. ‘C-Could she be talking about Soothing Voice?’ thought Shadow as he looked at the screaming doctor. Without saying a word, Shadow maneuvered through the hallway to reach Healing Touch who noticed him coming.
“I’m sorry Captain,” said Healing Touch before he could say anything. “But I don’t have any time to talk. I have my hooves full and one of my nurses appears to be-”
“Is it Soothing Voice?” asked Shadow Blade, interrupting the doctor. Healing touch blinked in confusion before slowly nodding.
“Did she do something wrong?” whispered Healing Touch as she looked around. The last thing she needed right now was nurse who was involved in something illegal.
“Let’s talk somewhere more private,” was all Shadow said as he gestured with one of his wings towards Twilight’s room. Healing Touch nodded again and the three of them made their way to the purple unicorn’s room. As soon as he entered, Shadow saw that the same pink medicine was being feed into Twilight’s system.
“Oh no,” he whispered as he went to a wall computer.
“What is it?” demanded Healing Touch as she looked around, also spotting the pink IV bag. “What is that? What the hay is going on?”
“Captain Shadow Blade believes that there is a conspiracy going on involving Twilight, the Equestrians, and the LBI,” said Lightning before she moved towards her friend.
“I spoke with Soothing Voice earlier today,” said Shadow as he began to access his private files. “We found out somepony had changed her medicine and…and…” Shadow’s voice trailed off as he took a step back. The file he had saved containing the footage of Applejack was gone.
As Lightning began to fill the doctor in on what they had found out, Shadow tried to access the security system once again only to discover that he had been locked out completely. Even saying his password didn’t work. Growing more scared by the moment, Shadow tried to contact Easy Target only to receive static.
“This…This is outrageous,” said Healing Touch after Lightning had finished. “The LBI they…they would never do anything like this. But…if what you say is true then…”
“It is,” said Shadow as he turned to look at the mares. “And it seems that now they are covering it up. We need to watch our backs.”
The two mares nodded and, after Healing Touch had stopped the flow of whatever was in the IV bag, the three of them left the room. Once out, however, Shadow noticed a stallion wearing the black suit of the LBI exiting Scootaloo’s room. In a panic, Shadow raced down the hallway towards the room and ignoring the LBI pony in the process. Once inside he looked at the bed and saw that Scootaloo was thankfully there, alive and well. However, next to her bed on the nightstand was a single flower, a pair of black sunglasses, and a note that read “Best Wishes from Sealed Document, Head of the LBI”.
-x-
As soon as the chariot touched ground in the courtyard of Canterlot Castle, Majesty jumped up and walked away without a word to the driver. Said driver gave a snort, upset that he had rushed her here and didn’t get a word of thanks or even a tip. He didn’t yell or press the issue since he was still going to get paid and that he was used to this kind of attitude from the Canterlot elite. He simply opened up his slightly sore wings before taking off.
Majesty walked calmly through the doors of the castle, careful not to show she was mad or anything. She didn’t want anything to look out of the ordinary. That way she could stay close to Blueblood. She would be able to learn his every move and find a way to make sure that things went wrong. Leak a secret here, mess up a plan there, and when he went to cry about it she would be there to pat him on the back until the right moment presented itself.
‘Now to find that dirty scumbag,’ thought Majesty as she began to walk up a flight of stairs. Once she reached the top of the stairway, she looked around only to find it almost completely deserted. The only ponies that she saw were servants doing their best to keep the place clean.
After a few minutes of wandering around the castle in search of the Prince, Majesty was starting to get a little impatient. She was about to talk to one of the servants when she heard a loud voice that sounded like it was coming from around a nearby corner.
“But I don’t want to stay in the room,” came a voice that sounded like a filly.
“Trixie said to go back,” came the voice of Trixie sounding more annoyed than usual. “Trixie has an important delivery to make for Prince Blueblood and is already behind as it is because Trixie had to deal with you. Just go back and wait for Trixie to return!”
“But it’s boring,” whined the filly as the two turned the corner allowing Majesty to get a glimpse of the two ponies. Trixie she had seen several times, but she had never seen the filly before. She had a yellow coat and a mane that reminded her of a flame. Both of them looked a little stressed and had their saddle bags on. The filly’s looked oversized, as if it were a hand me down from a much larger pony.
For a moment, Majesty wondered just who that filly was. She was sure she had never seen her around the castle before and she didn’t seem like she was hired help since Celestia refused to hire any filly who didn’t have their cutie mark. Most likely she was a student at Celestia’s school or maybe a hopeful for the upcoming semester. Or she could even be Trixie’s little sister for all she knew.
Before Majesty could ponder more about this, she suddenly remembered the last time she had seen Trixie. It had been when Blueblood had asked her to make a magical compass! At first she wasn’t sure what Blueblood had in mind when he had made that public request. But now she did. And based on what she had heard, Trixie had finished it and was going to take it to Blueblood!
‘Sweet Celestia,’ thought Majesty as she felt her blood run cold. ‘He’s probably going to give that to his assassin so that he can kill her. And if she dies, there won’t be any way for me to get to the Republic and we’ll be stuck with Blueblood!’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘I won’t let that happen!’
“All I want to do is check out a few books at the library,” continued the filly as they got closer to Majesty. “You could just drop me off there before you take that compass to Prince What’s-His-Name and come back for me when you’re done. I promise to behave.”
Trixie raised her nose into the air like many of the other ‘elite’ ponies of Canterlot. “Trixie said no,” she said.
“Come on!” shouted the filly as she stomped her hoof against the ground. “It’s not like I’m asking for much. I helped you with that stupid project of yours. The least you could do is-”
“Be quiet!” scrawled Trixie causing the filly to take a step back. It quickly became clear, based on threatening look in the elder unicorns eyes, that she had most likely struck a nerve.
“Miss Trixie,” said Majesty as she approached the two. Upon hearing her name, Trixie’s head spun around ready to yell at anypony who dared to speak to her. Luckily for her she noticed who was approaching her before she could say anything.
“Good day Lady Majesty,” said Trixie as she gave the unicorn noble a quick bow. “I am sorry if we interrupted you.” As she said this, Trixie shot a glare at the filly.
“No, you didn’t,” replied Majesty. “I wanted to talk to you because I heard that you are on your way to see Prince Blueblood. Is it about the compass?”
Trixie grinned in triumph as her horn glowed. “Indeed I am,” she replied as her saddle bag opened. A clanking sound that one hears when two bottles hit each other was heard by all three ponies’ right before a bronze, circular object exited the bag and was then held in front of Majesty. It was large, about the size of an adult mare’s hoof. On first glance it didn’t appear any different than a normal compass. However, if one looked a bit closer they could see several stands of Cadence’s mane wrapped around the needle.
“It…works?” asked Majesty.
“Of course,” said Trixie as she put it back in her bag. “Trixie tested it earlier. The needle is set so that it will always point in the direction of Princess Cadence. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must see Prince Blueblood.”
“You can’t!” snapped Majesty. Up until this point her voice had been calm and in control. However the sudden shift startled the other two mares so much that they jumped into the air.
“What do you mean Trixie can’t?” demanded Trixie.
Majesty looked around real quick before speaking in a low whisper that even those next to her could barely hear. “Prince Blueblood is plotting something,” she said.
“No, you don’t say” said Trixie, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes. She then gave the noble a deadpanned look. “Trixie has known Prince Blueblood for a long time. He is always up to something. What it is this time, Trixie does not care because Trixie is smart enough not to get involved with him. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
With that, Trixie made a move to brush past Majesty. But this was something she would not allow. Without thinking, Majesty grabbed Trixie with her magic and pressed her against the wall. Trixie’s eye’s bulged in shock for a moment before she began to struggle out of Majesty’s magical grasp. As for the filly, she did her best to make herself look small for she knew she couldn't fight or run away. She also didn’t want to draw attention to herself by screaming or crying.
“If you give that to him you’ll be killing Princess Cadence,” hissed Majesty as she brought her face inches in front of Trixie’s. This caused Trixie to stop in her struggle, shocked by what Majesty had just said. Her jaw dropped slightly as she looked right into the other mare’s eyes.
“Y-You’re joking,” stammered Trixie. Even before Majesty sadly shook her head, Trixie knew she wasn’t. It was the look in her eyes. In them was a look of sad certainty.
“I overheard him talking to Stareye,” said Majesty as she slowly lowered Trixie to the ground. “I’ve been working with him for a while now. Ever since he found out the technological riches of the Republic, he’s been manipulating things so that he can gain more power and wealth. He brought in several of us to join him so that we could pressure Princess Celestia into doing what he wanted. I knew he ordered the death of Hard Shell and gave the parasprite to that one pony but now…Now I realize that we’ve gone too far! He gained the throne by accident and he plans on keeping it. Once you hoof over that compass he’ll have his assassin kill Princess Cadence so that he can continue this war until he’s either made Equestria into his own ideal nation or until we’re all dead!”
By the end of her confession, Majesty was panting slightly while Trixie and the filly kept their gazes on her as they took everything in. Then, slowly, Trixie stood up.
“Trixie,” she said, “doesn’t want to believe you. She can see Blueblood doing terrible things, but this…this is a little much. And you say that you’re a part of it? Why telling Trixie this when it will only get you in trouble?”
“Because something that I now care about is on the line,” said Majesty. She then took a deep breath. “Look, I know that when this is over I’m going to be tried for treason. When Princess Celestia comes back, I’ll confess to everything and pray that all she takes from me is my home and wealth as long as I can see her again. Because right now she’s all that matters. That and making sure that Blueblood gets what’s coming to him.”
Trixie looked Majesty over once before sighing. “Very well,” she said. “What do you want Trixie to do?”
“You have to get to Princess Cadence,” said Majesty. “Tell her what is going on and tell her to get back to Canterlot as fast as she can. Warn her about the assassin and that he plans on framing her new guard. Now you have to go now! Before he sends somepony to find you.”
Trixie nodded and was about to leave when she suddenly looked down at the filly who was still remaining silent. “What about-”
“Just take her with you,” said Majesty quickly. “Don’t leave behind anypony here that he can use against you.”
Trixie again nodded before her horn began to glow. As she turned around she picked up the filly, lifted her onto her back, and galloped away leaving Majesty alone.
-x-
Shadow galloped down the hallway as fast as he could. His breathing was becoming ragged and his pupils were the size of pin heads. Several times when he went to turn a corner he skidded into the wall due to his speed. But none of that mattered to him. He had to see Princess Luna now more than ever. The problem was that he had no idea where she was. So far he had checked the throne room as well as her private quarters with no luck. And right now every second counted!
To say that what he had seen in Scootaloo’s room had shaken him would be untrue. It had rattled him to his very core. Not only had the LBI managed to change Twilight’s medicine again but they had also shown that they could easily get to Scootaloo just to make a point. Luckily they hadn’t done anything to her, but just to be on the safe side Healing Touch was checking on her with Lightning Dust keeping watch. Not only that, but she had called both Vinyl and Derpy to help. Hopefully Twilight and Scootaloo would be safe.
As Shadow tried (and failed) to turn another corner, he spotted Senator Land Share entering the hallway. Even though there was a great distance between the two, Shadow could see that he was greatly stressed.
‘Maybe he’ll know where the Princess is,’ thought Shadow with a rush of excitement. This was tempered, however, as he spotted another figure walking towards Land Share. At first he feared that it might be a member of the LBI, but as the other stallion moved closer Shadow saw that it was Gigawatt.
“Senator Land Share,” said Gigawatt. “How is your little assignment going? Will we be able to give any relief aid when we use Operation: Umbrella?”
There was something off in Gigawatt’s voice. It seemed almost mocking or sarcastic. Then there was his body motion, constantly looking around.
Land Share shook his head. “No,” he said. “I have checked and double checked and we simply stretched too thin to give any of the ponies living planet side any form of help when we use Umbrella. I’ll have to tell Princess Luna the bad news.”
At this, Gigawatt’s ears flattened against his head. “Strange,” he said. “Normally, you would be doing everything in your power to make sure something like this would happen. But-”
“There is simply nothing that can be done in such a short amount of time,” said Land Share. “Believe me, I would give them everything that they would need in order to recover from the effects of Umbrella. However there are not enough tents, blankets, or medicines to go around. It is my opinion that if we gave out what we do have we would just end up creating more tension as ponies fought over them.”
“I see,” replied Gigawatt. “Well then, I’ll let you be on your way. I have to speak to Sealed Document about a very important matter.”
With that, Gigawatt walked away as Shadow approached Land Share. As he did, Shadow felt the senator’s gaze on him for just a moment. This made Shadow feel every uncomfortable. However he did his best to hide his discomfort as he continued on his way.
“Shadow,” said Land Share, seeming to brighten up as saw the bat stallion. “I hope you are recovering well. How’s Twilight doing?”
“She’s...,” began Shadow, but gulped causing Land Share to tilt his head slightly. “Something is going on with her right now and I need to speak to Princess Luna. Have you seen her?”
Land Share shook his head. “Can’t say that I have,” he replied. Then he placed a hoof on Shadow’s shoulder. “Why do you need to see her? Is something wrong?”
Shadow looked at the older stallion in the eye for a moment before looking away as he debated telling Land Share the truth. He knew that Land Share would be a powerful ally when confronting Princess Luna about what had been happening. However, there was the chance that Land Share might not believe him or that the LBI might make their move once they found out he knew. In the end, however, Shadow knew that he had to tell him. That Land Share deserved to know given that Twilight was like family to him.
And so, in a low and calm voice, Shadow began to tell Land Share everything. He started from the beginning with the discovery that somepony had changed Twilight’s medicine to the discovery that the footage had been altered and then finally finding the Lair’s Cube. He then told him how all the evidence had disappeared and that ponies were going missing. As he said this, Land Share’s expression become one of disbelief.
“I…Shadow, I don’t know what to say,” said Land Share once Shadow had finished. “What you are saying. Do you realize the implications?”
“I do,” said Shadow with a nod. “Believe me, I didn’t want to believe any of this any more than you. But I saw the Cube with my own eyes as did Lightning. But what I can’t figure out is how Document got the combination and why he attacked Twilight.”
“Maybe,” began Land Share but stopped to take a deep breath. “Maybe he didn’t attack her. Maybe somepony else did.”
“What are you saying?” asked Shadow.
“I’m saying that, as far as I know, Sealed Document has no reason to attack Twilight,” said Land Share. “However, there are several very angry senators who were not happy when Twilight stood up for the Equestrians after what happened with Dome Two and Three. And they…they would have the combination to the Truth Light.”
Shadow’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that one of the senators is working with the LBI?” asked Shadow, his heart now racing a mile a minute. He didn’t want to believe it but it made sense.
“Trust me,” said Land Share. “I’ve known Sealed Document for years and he would never do anything like this unless somepony convinced him it was the right thing to do.”
“But who could it be?” asked Shadow.
Land Share closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them he had an angry look. “Gigawatt,” he said. “He’s been wanting to attack Equestria since we first went to Equestria. He was mighty happy when the merger was called off, but became furious when we began talking about an alliance. He’s been the most vocal about attacking them and he had that argument with Twilight earlier that day. Not to mention he was also the former Head of the LBI. If there were anypony I would suspect, it’s him.”
“True,” said Shadow as he scratched his chin. “I don’t want to believe it, but he is our best suspect. But we shouldn’t rule out April Showers since Pinkie Pie did launch the water out of her Dome. I know she took that real bad. And Scorpio has been rather hostile towards them.”
“It could be any of them,” said Land Share sadly. “Or it could be all of them.”
“We have to tell Princess Luna right away,” said Shadow.
“Hold on there,” said Land Share as he held up his hoof. “You plan on telling Princess Luna there is a major conspiracy involving one of the most trusted ponies within the LBI and one or more of her senators without any proof? I know she trusts you and all, but she’ll need some proof beyond your word. What are you planning on doing then? Offer to testify under the Truth Light? One you are claiming is being tampered with?”
“Then what do you suggest we do?” demanded Shadow. “I can’t sit around and do nothing!”
“We need to find some evidence that will point to the LBI’s involvement as well as protect the evidence that we still have before the LBI decides to take the risk and get rid of it,” answered Land Share. “And we need to act fast, before the war starts and many innocent ponies lose their lives.”
“Ok,” answered Shadow. “But what other evidence is there?”
-x-
Deep beneath the castle, five mares sat in a massive cell as they awaited their execution. Some were taking it worse than others. Fluttershy had been unable to stop crying since the trial had ended. Rainbow Dash struggled in vain to try and break the bars of their cell but with no luck. Applejack and Rarity talked in hush whispers, trying to convince everypony that everything would be ok. That once Twilight woke up she would be able to tell them that this had been a huge misunderstanding and they would be set free.
As for Pinkie Pie, her mane had completely deflated as she stared at what lie outside of their cell on the opposite wall. There, in a single file line, were six prison pods. Each one containing a criminal of the Lunar Republic that watched them as they were their only form of entertainment while being immobile.
Then, the sound of hoof steps caused the mares to become silent and still. Soon, three ponies in full Lunar armor, helmets on and weapons at the ready, stood before them.
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.........yeaaaah.......... this story just gets worse. some say plot, then characters, but that is garbage. the plot is about the charactyers. that is all.
6096789 If you don't like the story, then don't read it...
AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! You had to leave it THERE!?
And thus why relying solely on tech is a bad thing. IF you can force the truth on someone with a device then you can also force a lie.
I'm just going to say this now. Even if Twilight's staged by a Lunar pony; Equestria still wronged the Republic. Even if the mane 5 were mind controlled, it was still most likely a terrorist attack orcistrated by the Equestian nobility. So go catch the traitors in the Republic, but Equestia obviously still wants war and nothing Celestia or Cadence says can change that fact.
6096789 then stop reading
6096992 nevermind
6096789
I'm sorry but why are you here?
6096943
Well it was the attack on Twilight which lead to Luna going to Canterlot which resulted in the battle between her and Celestia. It might not stop the Equestrians from rallying, but maybe it might get Luna to postpone to investigate while Cadence returns to Canterlot. I'm just guessing.
6097187 Attacking Twilight doesn't really change how thing would have turned out in my opinion. Luna was already planning on demanding reperations from Equestria and then cut ties from them. The only thing that the attack on Twilight really changed was making the situation more strenuous as AJ was now facing execution. Equestria still attacked first and still would have eventually forced Luna's hand by refusing to pay reperations. Attacking Twilight just made it a little easier.
I got a say this. I am loving this story it truly shows that governments no matter the type or structure will be taken advantage of and power to control said government will be sought after. From the power play of the nobles of Equestria to the positional play of senate. It shows that as high power our figure heads have they still fall victim to their charge's plotting and exploitation. And best of all both sides despite finding out the truth or not the citizens will still demand blood from either side.
You even have the strife going on within the military. Makes remeber a post I read awhile back on youtube "When a soldier says 'I fight for more my country' rarely does he ever mean the government soldiers fight for their families and their community" it was something like that. But it's the truth endanger a soldiers family and the soldier will turn on the government fact of life.
My own prediction for this story is that Land Share orchestrated the events in The Lunar Republic. And crossing my fingers on this one just because i wanna see it, I wanna watch the equestrian military get OWNED. Not an epic evenly matched battle nope I wanna see them get absolutely destroyed.
YES! YES! YES! A NEW CHAPTEEEEERR *Begins fan-girling*
Land share is not to be trusted
Yay it updated :D
6097582 My thoughts exactly.
I love how everyone is talking about how they think Land Share did it. That is what I think, and that Gigawatt and the LBI are onto him.
Great chapter. It looks like we now get to see the Darkside of the Moon. I hope something will save the Elements before they are killed. Great chapter. Good luck with the next one.
6097582 What? Did I miss something why is land share not to be trusted?
Well so far I have been loving this multi parter. We get to see Shadow do some dective work and examine the evidence. Oh, great joke there with Rasy Target and Lightning Dust. I laughted. We also get to see more of Majesty's character and I like how she's turning out. when she was first interduce I thought she was barely worth mentioning. However, you have turned her into a more interesting character in these last few chapters and a part of me wishes the best for her. I find it odd that I don't want her to kill Blueblood becuase I'm sure if she does she won't ever be able to see Scootaloo again.
6097582
Land Share hasn't done anything wrong. Hell, instead of helping Shadow figure out that a member of the senate is helping Sealed Document he could have had just stalled Shadow while the LBI snuck up behind him and taken him out.
YESS!!! A new chapter!
Mane 6 Comments:
Twilight: *feint*
*From the other conversation* It's not on DVR, Dashie.
The other 4: Huh?
Keep up the story, its getting good, or I guess more good at this point..... Just keep writing ! :)
You mean... that wonderful mechanism that compels ponies to tell the truth and feeds them to what amounts to a civilian drumhead tribunal afterwards can be... manipulated? That this fact was discovered early on and that the government covered it up because they didn't want to tarnish its sterling reputation?
Yeah, saw this one coming from the other side of the freaking planet. There is no machine in all of existence that can't be tampered with because all machines are a number of different mechanical and physical rules translated into mechanisms and packed into a box, and inasmuch as those rules can be known, they can be taken advantage of to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. Moreover, if their fancy "perfect" truth-finding device can be manipulated to convict innocent ponies, there is no way a government would let the little people know about it, lest they no longer support using the miracle mechanism. I have no particular use for the movie Minority Report, but it does point out a truism: the gatekeepers of a "perfect" system will do whatever it takes to keep the system running... including allowing it to harm innocent people. There is no possible way for the Lunar Republic to know for absolute certain that the Liar's Box hasn't been used on the down-low before, and no way to ameliorate the situation because the Truth Light is only used for cases where the justice system immediately levels the most evil of punishments.
I love totalitarianism, don't you?
6119045
Saw your comments and I have to point out a few things. You are right in saying that they have never had any border patrol, but they were checking the bags for metal objects and not their manes. Also, about Pinkie, I can kind of see her doing that. Both of the machines looked similar and there were ponies walking away from the one in dome 2 with I think a muffin. It is possible that she made an assumption and let her eagerness get the better of her like what happens in the show
6110333
Just want to point something out. The Truth Light so far has only been used twice in the story and Shadow said that it is only used in certain situations. Also other evidence was provided during the trial. What you are saying sounds like they blindly listen to the truth light and ignore the dangers. But we saw that Luna herself thought that something was amiss. She was wrong in thinking that they were being controlled or the like, but it showed that even she thought something was up
6126342 I'm aware that its use is limited, although that's because they're aware that the truth light is vulnerable to manipulation... which they've completely concealed from the populace. There is no reason to do this except out of a concern that if the populace was aware of it, they wouldn't support its use by such an overwhelming degree, or by a majority at all. This at least strongly implies that despite knowing that the truth light can be programmed to force a pony to confess something that is not true, the Republic doesn't want to risk losing access to it, and a reasonable assumption is that it has PR value: because the common pony believes that the Truth Light is infallible, it can be used to cement a pony's guilt in the eyes of the public with especially difficult cases. There is something deeply cynical about keeping a machine on hand that can be used in that way, and something all too familiar about the obvious ease with which it can be used to destroy any "enemy of the state" that happens to pop up. You simply do not keep a technology of this nature around, and shroud its flaws in such secrecy, unless you can imagine a situation where you need to destroy someone inconvenient to you that refuses to commit a crime.
I don't doubt that Luna has pure intentions, despite the fact that I don't think much of her in this AU, but she no more trusts the ponies who run her government with the truth than the select other ponies with the truth do. I also emphasize the point in the post you responded to: there is simply no possible way to be certain whether the Liar's Box is being used or not if the pony programming it has a touch of finesse, and the Truth Light appears to only be used in cases where severe punishment follows crime too quickly for ordinary means of evidence-gathering to raise suspicions. It only happened quickly in this case because the Box was programmed in such a ham-handed way that it was hard not to smell something fishy.
Ok. It's review time. I've procrastinated long enough. It's time to do this.
Initially I was drawn in to this story by the premise. You got an in interesting premise here, I'll give you that. It's not anything original, and thousands of MLP fans have re-written the lore of the show in their own little heads, whether or not they've translated those thoughts into a story and published it, but this looked promising to me. I was also drawn in by the like-to-dislike ration, and the fact that the story was so far in being written. I had just gotten off of a heavy story and was needing another epic-long novel like a fish out of water. I though this would be my ticket.
And so then I read it. And then I stopped at chapter 34 because I couldn't go any further.
Let me get this out first: I hate that you used a bait-and-switch. Your story starts off with Twilight and the gang falling into a alternate dimension portal, and then immediately transitions to the "what if" situation. You even include in the description that Twilight uses a spell to explore what could have been. But why? Why the bait-and-switch? You could have just as easily pulled off the same story without that first chapter and without that spell and simply started the story at the second chapter and nothing would have been lost. I was led incorrectly through the majority of the story thinking that the Mane 6 would at some point interact with the alternate universe in some way, shape or form. It never happened. I was led astray. So why then did you have the need to add normal Twilight and have her stereotypically cast a spell that sends the main cast into a different world, just to not use them at all? Like I said, it all feels like story bait, because there is simply no other reason for you to have done it. You knew that your story wouldn't get views if you just posted it as a simply alternate universe fic, but then you slapped on involvement with the normal Mane 6 and suddenly it becomes way more interesting for those who want to check it out. Good for you. You manipulated the system and got us all to latch on. You lied to us. Good job.
Second, you have an extreme, and I repeat, extreme bias against Celestia. That would be good and all if you didn't post Celestia as flat as a cardboard cutting. You took a character that has a lot of potential for expansion and diversity and you plopped her down in the most generic box you could find her, labeled that box "tools" and tossed it in the back of your garage. Every single thing Celestia does is a fault, and she doesn't do one single thing in the story that could be considered to be good and it makes her a weak and one-dimensional character. Considering she's the closest we can get to an antagonist for the first 34 chapters this makes for a (excuse my language) shitty encounter. When you create a character, or in this case, divulge on an existing character to your uses, you need to give them pros and cons, gifts and faults, successes and failings. I don't care if you absolutely loathe Celestia and all the she stands for, you can't just take a dump on her and leave her rotting corpse of a character inside the nearest trash compactor! You're doing a disloyalty to fans of the show by doing that! And what about people who do like Celestia, hmm? "Well, fuck them, this is my story and I can do whatever the hell I want with it," well then you have to consider your main audience. Who are you writing to? MLP enthusiasts. Well, is possible that a fraction of those enthusiasts may consist of people who do, in fact, do not mind Celestia and her character? Yes it is bloomin' possible, because although I don't like how Celestia is portrayed in the show, I do like what she stands for in the show and I do not like how you present her to the audience: Beaten up and making mistakes like a teenager running a large event!
And continuing on that note, most of your characters are flat-footed and lack heavily in the character department. I was singling out Celestia previously because she's the worst part of the whole picture, but oh no, let me get further into this. You introduce a large supporting cast, which is a challenge for any writer because you have to make every single character matter in some way shape or form and not have their personality be cookie-cutter and repeated between characters. I would give you credit for tackling such a big challenge, if you didn't screw it up as much as you did. Luna is flat because she's such a perfect diva and nothing that she does ever has negative consequence or consequence that puts her in a bad light in such a way that balances the scales between her and her sister. The Lunar Republic (or whatever the hell you named it, I don't remember) is leagues better than Equestria, Luna is always correct against Celestia in arguments, she always has a good way of finding solutions to problems and she doesn't show flaws. Does she cry once? Yes. Did it really matter that much to deepen her personality? No, because even though it did show weakness from her, it was also Celestia's fault yet again, and yet again Celestia is portrayed as the villain. What are you trying to do here, make Celestia the antagonist? Because if you are, you're making a pretty one-faced bad guy here, but we already discussed that, didn't we?
Enough about the Royal Sisters, let's talk about the others. Twilight's pretty spot on, and you did a good job with Shining Armour, although if this incarnation of him is a bit by the books in terms of overprotective older brother. I like how Cadance is the medium between Luna and Celestia and she tried to balance both sides, although because of your bias against Celestia Cadance just ends up making the problem with Celestia's character worse. I hate how you hooked up Twilight, though. Was that really necessary? And did you really have to give Twilight a member of a guard who also has an edgy name and is also edgy and suave and a bad ass and never makes mistakes? You see what I'm getting at, here? You created a Gary Stu, and the only reason that this story got this far with a Gary Stu as a part of it's cast is because he's not the main character and your writing mechanics are sufficient enough to look past the fact. The Lunar Board or Circle or government-thing that keeps Luna in check is pretty generic too. Oh look, there's the extremist! Oh look, there's the evil-but-no-one-notices guy! Come on, seriously? Scootaloo, is also, and I'll said it again, generic. Legit question: Why is she a part of the supporting cast? All she does is add filler to the story, and doesn't really develop anything in the plot except for Sunset Shimmer, which you take wayyyyyy too long to take out and use as your primary villain. It hasn't happened yet as of chapter 34, but you drop so many hints that you might as well send me an anvil from the sky signed with "A care package directly from Sunset Shimmer, Evil Genius". Why is Scootaloo a orphan? Yeah, ok, whatever, so you probably liked the idea, but it just isn't done well here. Scootaloo has no plot relevance and she's just the star for filler chapters, which you do a lot of, which no author should ever, ever do.
I honestly gave this a shot. I gave it more chances that I should have, because the deeper and deeper I got into the story, the more and more I wished I stopped a chapter earlier. You had a good premise here, you just messed it up royally because you wrote about what you wanted to write about and you didn't consider the consequences. You didn't consider your audience enough and you wrote with a bias that although seems interesting at times, influences your writing to the point where it degrades the quality in which you write it. And I mean sure, I went up to chapter 34, which I guess says something about your story, but that's honestly because I was still waiting for the moment where the normal Mane 6 appear out of nowhere and effect the situation drastically and dynamically. It never happened.
So yeah. That's why I gave this story a dislike. You baited me, wrote poor characters and had such a strong bias on certain characters that it overall made a negative impact on the experience and left a bad taste in my mouth. But really, I'm just another statistic on an increasingly liked and viewed story. What do I matter, am I right?
6135625
I guess this is a case of reader expectation and what was planned.
You are right that I had a big idea and in many area's I agree that I have fallen short, but am still trying my best. However if I were trying to write a story that catered to everyone, then it would be my story. I know there are people out there that like Celestia and there are people who don't. In later chapters I did try to make her sound better and Luna isn't always perfect. Again, this is a writing flaw that I have and have been trying to work on for years. It's the same when I was writing Naruto fanfiction, I have an intense hate of Kakashi that was transmitted into my writing.
But overall I am trying to tell a story about how the 'world' is different and have been expanding more and more. There are so many things that I want to write about this world about Twilight, the mane six, and those around them. I wanted to take characters from the show and bring them in with their own personalities that were a little different than what I normally see. I loved how I wrote Time Turner, the scenes with the buffalo, and many others. And, as I have said many times before, this is my first major original story since I mainly do retellings.
I'm sorry you didn't like the story, I really am. I am glad you told me why instead of just saying that this story sucks before downvoting it. In the future I can true to fix my mistakes and try to be better. Still, I have enjoyed writing this story and will continue to write it to the best of my abilities for myself and all the people who have been enjoying this story.
6153491 I know I just find it interesting that in this alternate universe fic they make Granny Smith. The perfect stereotype of a racist the most tolerant one.
I need moar chapters!
6156854
Well this bit was based on Demolishion Man (really great movie). And, sadly, there was a lot of stuff connected to this that I was never able to fit in. Like how they have a VR therapist and the like.
6165335
Well I wrote this before the season 5 started.
6165626
6166633 oh
6155030 nah, I still stick by my first idea... or maybe just scrub the entire castle...and work for Rarity for a week...
BWAHAHAHAHA!
6219032
Gotta disagree with you and say your example of the Confederacy doesn't work, This wasn't several states succeeding to form their own country, this was a Supreme ruler abandoning her throne take protect those who agreed with her and abandoning every else. The confederate leadership wasn't a group of monarchs who ruled a territory taking their followers and leaving that territory, it was about a group of elected leaders declaring the territories they controlled to be an independent nation.
I still feel Luna had a responsibility not just to ponies who followed her, but to Equestria as a whole, yes something major needed to be done and she thought she was making the right choice, the kind of choice you can only surely know if it is correct or not AFTER you make it, from what I see it wasn't the right call. But as I said that ISN'T a critique, the reasons for the chose where valid and realistic. Bad choices happen, good stories should be FULL of characters making bad choices, including ones they don't know where bad till long after they where made.
6221237 Yes, there are key differences. But not enough difference to alleviate my discomfort.
6219514 Sorry man you're wrong. Confederacy does apply. Luna and the ponies that supported her were under threat. And even greater threat then the south felt. She ceded with her ponies just as both the confederacy and the 13 colonies did. THey formed their own government. Now could Luna sent condidtions of any return with all the letters Celestia sent? Hell yes. Luna was not recognized by the bulk of the ponies 1000 years ago. those who did were ruined or KILLED. She owed them nothing.
6226691 Thankyou! Yeah, I kind of do agree, the technology is a bit OP, but it isn't invisible. I also like how there also are some really big criminals in the Republic, and it isn't all perfect.
6226769
I disagree simple as that
I have to question is anything about what happen in the first chapter going to be continue in the story?
Only thing that can fix all this mess is the Tree of Harmony. I do wonder if you well put that in the story soon.
Ugh... this chapter really REALLY got to me, how can Shadow be this incompetent? It is just beyond even silly.
Edit:
Not to mention Luna, in light of the chapters revelations.
8139774 Saw this comment and decided to reread the chapter. Personally I don't get why you think Luna or Shadow are incompetent. Shadow was following the clues and didn't know the LBI was watching him until it was too late. Luna believes she has the evidence she needs and has Trusted the head of the LBI for probably a very long time.
This kind of sounds like the end of a Nancy Drew game.
Also I think it's Land Share.
Wow. I can't actually finish this fic because all of the conniving and backstabing is pissing me off so much that each chapter I read that doesn't involve something nasty happening to those involved is making it harder to focus on what's actually in said chapter. Thank goodness I can skip ahead. This is why I prefer only reading complete fics XD
Fuck. Dammit, dammit, dammit!! I hate these kinds of cloak-and-dagger schemes. While the LBI's involvement seems basically irrefutable, why do I sudden get the impression that Land Share is also in on it? After all, he was one of the senators most affected by what happened, even suggested Umbrella. That would be such a typical 'unexpected' twist to do. Man, oh well. Just have to see what comes next.