It was the dead of the night as Sheriff Silver Star made his way into the desert, along with two of his deputies. The ponies of Appleloosa had recently moved to the desert about four and a half months ago. Most of them had ties to the Apple family, whom donated some of their trees from each farm. Up until now, they had been having trouble with the buffalo, who were stealing the trees as they were coming in. So far, that had been their biggest problem. Until now, that is.
A few days ago, a bat pony had been spotted talking to one of the buffalo. When word of this hit the town, there was a mass panic. Many worried that they would steal their crops, which would cause the town to starve. Others believed that they were plotting to kill them and then take their town for themselves.
Realizing the threat, Silver Star had sent word to Canterlot, in the hopes that they would send troops as quickly as they could. But, until then, they would have to play it safe. That was why he had sent word to the buffalo, asking for a meeting with both them and the bat ponies.
After walking for about an hour, they spotted a campfire in the distance. Slowly the three approached it, taking care as to not step into an ambush. When they reached the fire, they found two figures next to the flames.
The first was a large brown buffalo that Silver Star assumed was their leader. On the ground, next to him, was an elderly bat pony mare. She had a grey coat with a white mane, most likely due to her ancient age. In fact, she looked so old that she was nothing but skin and bones, making it unlikely that she could fly.
“You asked to meet us,” noted the buffalo, once the three ponies were close enough. “I am Chief Thunderhooves. Next to me is Flight Mother Weeping Willow.”
“I am Sheriff Silver Star,” replied the sheriff. “We are here to demand that you stop stealing our apple trees, as well as to surrender all the bat ponies to our custody.”
Thunderhooves snorted. “Typical of you ponies. You trample over our sacred stampeding grounds, and then make demands. You lack any respect for those who have lived here for generations.”
“This land is the property of Equestria,” said one of the deputies. “That makes it ours.”
“We have signed documents claiming this land,” added the other. “That makes the two of you as trespassers.”
“The buffalo do not need any paperwork to claim this land, for it belongs to no creature,” replied Thunderhooves. “It does not belong to us, but it is sacred as is the path we take when we stampede. Because of those trees, we are unable to continue on our path.”
Silver Star nodded. ‘So it’s something like that,’ he thought to himself. He, like most ponies, didn’t have an exact religion. Yet, that didn’t mean that they understand the value of sacred rituals and what not. And thus he now better understood the situation they were in. As long as the trees remained where they were, the buffalo would not alter their path.
“And why are ‘they’ here?” asked Silver, pointing at Weeping Willow.
“‘We’ came here a little over a hundred years ago,” replied the older mare. “The first ones came here; looking to escape persecution, figuring that nopony lived out here. They were half right. They encountered the buffalo, who were wary of them at first, yet still showed them how to survive in this harsh land. We live in small caves on the wall of a canyon, so that we do not get in each other’s way.”
“And they have been good allies,” added Thunderhooves. “During the time when my father was chieftain, many buffalo were being taken by the diamond dogs to be used as slaves. My father traveled to Canterlot to ask your princess for help. Instead of sending your royal guards, she asked her faithful student to handle the situation.
“My father was furious that she would leave the lives of his buffalo in the hooves of one mare. Yet, while he was gone, Weeping Willow found out about our plight and got all of the bat ponies to help out. They helped navigate the dark tunnels, as well as helping fight alongside us.”
“Well, that’s all well and good,” stated Silver Star, before his tone become darker, “but, it doesn’t change what they are! No matter how nicely they act, they are still scum. Now, I’m willing to make a deal. I will talk to the other ponies in Appleloosa to see if we can move the trees. But, I’ll only do this if all the bat ponies turn themselves in!”
Thunderhooves snorted as his eyes narrowed. However, Weeping Willow spoke first. “And, what will you do with us, once we turn ourselves in?”
“Your kind will be placed in a cell where you belong,” declared Silver Star in a matter of fact tone. The sheriff then turned to look at Thunderhooves, believing that he would see reason. That he would choose a chance at getting back their scared stampeding over the bat winged freaks. But, instead the chief looked furious.
“We refuse,” said Thunderhooves. “You come here, plant your trees, insult our friends despite them doing nothing to you, and then threaten to place them in cages. Now I tell you this: if those trees don’t come down, or if you harm one bat pony, you ponies will now feel the rage of all the buffalo tribes!”
“A-All of them?” stammered a deputy.
“All of them,” repeated Thunderhooves as his eyes narrowed once again.
Silver Star stared back at the chief for a moment before he turned to walk away. No more words needed to be said here. Mentally, he cursed at himself for letting his anger get the better of him.
He was supposed to buy them time, but his hatred of those bat winged freaks drove him instead of reason. Hopefully, Canterlot would send troops in soon, before all the buffalo could gather. If not, Appleloosa would be destroyed.
-x-
“Murder!” somepony continued to shout as Celestia ran down the hall. She wasn’t alone, for alongside her were several guards galloping at full speed. As she ran, she couldn’t help, but wonder who would want to kill Hard Shell. He was only the temporary Captain of the Guards.
As of now, the only ponies that knew this were in the capital. Within the guard, he was very well liked, as well as respected by many of the nobles. It was because he was so well liked that Celestia had chosen him to replace Iron Wall.
After several minutes of galloping, Celestia came upon a sight that caused her to raise a hoof to her mouth in horror. In the middle of the hallway lay Hard Shell. Or, at least what remained of him. All over his body was slash marks that made Celestia believe that a wild animal had attacked him. But, if that were the case, where was the animal?
“Let us go!” yelled a voice down the hallway. Looking up and thankfully away from the dead body, Celestia saw Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Cadence’s guards in chains. Those that had wings had them tied to their bodies, while Rarity’s horn had an anti-magic ring on it. Her guards had their weapons out and looked eager to use them at a moment’s notice.
“What is going on here?” demanded Celestia, teleporting over to them.
“We have arrested the murderers, your majesty,” said the lead guard, a grey pony named Steel Hoof, as he shot a glare at the bat ponies.
“But, they di-” began Rainbow, but a swift blow by one of the guards silenced her.
“We told you to...” began the guard that struck her, but stopped as a fiery heat washed over him. He looked over to see that his princess was looking at him with great displeasure.
“We will have none of that,” said Celestia in a stern tone. She then looked over to Steel Hoof. “Now, what evidences do you have that connects them to the murder?”
“Two things,” replied Steel Hoof. “The first is manner of Hard Shell’s death. The body looks like it was ripped apart by a wild animal. The kind of creature their kind lives like. The second reason is that there have been no murders within the castle until they showed up! When we went to question them, they reacted hostilely.”
“Of course they would have, considering the ill-mannered way you brutes behaved,” commented Rarity.
Celestia turned her head to look at her, who looked somewhat scared that she too might be struck if she talked again. But, an urging nod from the princess told her it was alright to continue.
“I was with Dusk Blitz and Thunderclap since they were done with their training. I simply had to get their measurements to make them some marvelous suits; once I found out they had no formal attire. Then, those ruffians broke down the door and accused them of murder. I told them what we had been doing and they then claimed I was an accomplice!”
“And, I was chilling with Ruby,” added Rainbow as she got back onto her hooves with some difficulty. “I tried to tell them that she had been with me for hours, but they just locked me up as well.”
“Look, you little...” began Steel Hoof. However, he was interrupted by somepony shouting “Enough!” But, to everypony’s surprise, it wasn’t Celestia who shouted, but Prince Blueblood. Behind him were Blue Cross and several more guards.
“Is this how the Royal Guard acts when it finds its captain dead?” demanded the prince as Blue Cross began to examine the body. He then turned to the guards behind him. “Start looking for clues. We need to get to the bottom of this.”
Celestia turned to face her nephew with a smile on her face. It hadn’t been that long since she had last seen him, but he was finally maturing and taking his role as a leader seriously.
After a few minutes, the soldiers finally found something. It was a single brown feather. Both Celestia and Blueblood shared a look before they both cast a spell on it. The magic they were using was one that would create an image of the owner of the feather.
If it had fallen from his or her wing, or had been dropped their deliberately, they would soon know. Heartbeats later, an image appeared above the floating feather. It wasn’t a bat pony nor a pegasus, but a griffin.
“Your majesty,” began Blue Cross. Both the prince and princess turned to look at the doctor. “I will need to move the body soon, so that I can do more tests.”
“Very well,” said Celestia. “But, before you go, can you tell me how long Hard Shell has been deceased?”
“If I had to guess,” began Blue Cross, “perhaps an hour. But, that’s all I can really tell you right now.”
“I see,” said Celestia. “Thank you.” She then turned to the rest of the ponies. “I hope everypony here has learned something from this. Blind hatred can only hurt us in the end. It is time for us to let go and move on together in harmony.”
“B-But, Princess,” stammered Steel.
“Enough,” roared Blueblood. “Princess Celestia is correct. Because of hatred, three new member of the guard were arrested while the real criminal got away. We might not be able to bring this murderer to justice!
“We can no longer afford to be fighting with each other! Now, let the recruits and the two mares go. Now!”
“Well said, my dear nephew,” said Celestia as the guards began to unchain the five. “I must say that I am very pleased by this.”
“It was the least I could do after my recent behavior,” replied Blueblood with a bow. He then looked behind him to see that Hard Shell’s body was being moved. “But, I fear that the worst is yet to come. If the griffons are behind this-”
“That is still uncertain,” interrupted Celestia. “Right now, all we know is that a griffon killed Hard Shell. We have no proof that Emperor Eagle Eye ordered this, or is planning to attack us. I will contact him and inform him of the situation. Hopefully, he will cooperate in finding the fugitive.”
“Very well,” said Blueblood as he bowed before the princess again. He then turned to leave, a smile appearing on his face for a brief second. Now his aunt would be looking for threats outside the castle, as well as the kingdom, leaving him to do what he needed to get done.
“I am sorry for the way my guards treated you,” said Celestia as she turned to Rainbow and Rarity. “They shouldn’t have done that. Also, I must thank you both for being with the bat ponies. Your alibis helped.”
“It was nothing, your majesty,” exclaimed Rarity. “We were just helping out Princess Cadence while she’s away.”
“She’s…away?” asked Celestia slowly.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow. “She said she was going to the moon for a bit, and asked us to make sure the guards weren’t giving the bat ponies a hard time. So, we decided we’d just chill with them.”
Sweat began to appear all over the princess body when she heard this. Cadence was on the moon right now! What if Luna, once her sadness had turned to anger, suspects Cadence of helping Celestia in some way. She might shoot her out of a cannon, or something even worse! Right now, her plan didn’t seem so perfect anymore.
-x-
“Princess,” said Twilight, knocked on the door that led to Luna’s bedroom. “Is everything alright in there?”
Silence greeted her, which made the mare worry all the more. About an hour ago, one of the palace guards had appeared in Twilight’s home to inform her that something was wrong. They had heard crying within the princess’ chambers, as well as her talking to herself. Fearing something was wrong with Princess Luna, one of the guards had decided to get the one pony the princess trusted the most in the entire Republic. Once she found out what was going on, Twilight decided to stop slamming Shining Armor’s face into the wall to see what the problem was.
Taking a deep breath, Twilight used her magic to unlock the door and slowly opened it. Looking inside, everything seemed eerily normal. Nothing was broken or out of place. But, in one of the corners, was Princess Luna. She had curled herself into a ball, while she silently wept.
Twilight watched as her beloved princess trembled, as if she were cold, as she continued to cry. Taking a breath, the purple mare slowly approached her, taking great care not to make it look like she was rushing at her. Then, once she was next to her, Twilight gently placed a hoof on her shoulder.
Luna lifted her head from the floor to see her Prized Student. “T-Twilight,” she stammered as she tried to hide her tears. “W-What are you doing here? It’s late.”
“The guards heard you cry and became worried,” said Twilight gently. She then looked at the moon princess with pleading eyes. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Luna opened her mouth to try and tell her that everything was fine, but the words wouldn’t come out. She couldn’t bring herself to lie to one who was as close to her as a daughter. She also knew that Twilight wouldn’t believe her if she told her nothing was wrong. Especially after being found like this.
So, when Luna began to talk, she told her everything that had gone down in the dream. Several times, Luna broke down and Twilight never left her side. She would just pat her on the back or use her magic to get her a tissue.
“Before my parents left, my father pulled us both over,” said Luna once she was finished. “He told Celestia that she would now have to work harder than ever to rule over a nation, as well as me. He said how much he believed in her, but then told me to stay out of her way.
“Back then, all I ever wanted was to show him I was just as good as Celestia. Then, maybe, he would tell me how sorry he was and that he loved me. But, he never did. In fact, no matter what I did, Celestia always got the praise. I hated her for so long, because she always got everypony’s attention.”
“But, you eventually found ponies that appreciated you,” said Twilight simply.
“And look how things ended up,” wailed Luna. “We’re here on the moon with few resources, always worrying when they will run out. How many families did I split when I brought my followers to the moon? How many ponies have died here when they would have lived a long full life on the planet? How many foals would still be with their parents? If I had just stay out of the way like my father had wanted, none of this would have happened.”
“Princess,” said a shocked Twilight. It quickly dawned onto her the true extent of the damage that dream had caused. Princess Luna had lost her confidence. Perhaps it was due to the sad nature of the dream, or that Celestia had invaded the realm that was supposed to be under Luna’s control. But, whatever the reason, Luna was now second guessing herself.
Perhaps this was what Celestia had in mind, to get her sister to doubt herself enough that she felt she had made a mistake in leaving Equestria! And it was up to Twilight to snap her out of it!
“I have never once blamed you for my parent’s death. Neither have Shadow or Shining for that matter. I know it was an accident that no pony could have predicted. You were the one who took us in, gave us a home, and tried to fill in the role of the parents we lost. And, we couldn’t have asked for a better surrogate mother.
“No pony blames you for bringing us here, because it was our choice. We wanted to leave, because we were being persecuted just for enjoying the night. When I was on the planet, I saw the moon from their sky. It was beautiful! It shined brightly when everything else was dark, giving hope, just like you have done for a thousand years.
“Look where we are now! We have advanced far beyond what they have in Equestria, or any other nations on the planet. We live long, happy lives under the stars with few illnesses. And that is all because you brought us here.”
Luna looked at her student for a moment, her eyes wide with shock. It had been so long since she had heard a pony talk that way about the moon. In fact, the way Twilight described the moon was the same way her mother had over a thousand years ago.
Her mother. Just thinking about Oceana almost brought the tears back. Her mother had defended her against her father, which eventually allowed her to become co-ruler. She had loved Luna, making her feel special and wanted.
If it hadn’t been for her, Luna had no idea where she would have ended up. Celestia would never have allowed her to live on the street like their father wanted, but she might have agreed with her father that letting Luna co-rule would be a mistake.
Now, Luna wondered what her mother would think of the decisions she had been making lately. Was she upset when Luna left the kingdom she had fought so hard to give to her? Was she angry that she had not spoken to her sister in so long? Was she disappointed in her? Stealing a sigh, the princess of the moon knew what she needed to do.
“Thank you for that, Twilight,” said Luna as a small smile appeared on her face. “Now I must ask you to speak to the senate on my behalf. Tell them I will be back as soon as I am able to.”
Twilight couldn’t hide her shock, even if she tried. “W-Where are you going? Are you going to see Celestia?”
Luna shook her head. “No, my little pony,” she said calmly. “I need to see the one who is far wiser than both me and my sister. Perhaps she can provide some insight.”
Twilight simply nodded as she took a step backwards. As she did, Luna’s eyes began to glow with pure white light. There was a flash of light and Luna found herself falling into the ocean. Using her magic, she cast a spell that would allow her to survive underwater as she swam downwards.
For a long time, all she saw were the various sea life that lived there. Sharks, whales, fish, and more. They all seemed to ignore Luna as they went about their business. It wasn’t until she was half way to the bottom that she saw them. Their upper bodies looked just like a normal ponies, but their lower half looked just like a dolphin’s flukes. These were the sea ponies.
The sea ponies noticed her immediately. Two quickly swam towards her, before motioning her to follow them. Wordlessly, she agreed and did her best to keep up with them. This was a bit harder than it seemed, since she wasn’t used to swimming. But, she did her best, until they came to a large castle made of pure coral at the oceans bottom. Still following the two, Luna entered the castle that was lit by strange glowing fish.
Luna was led down several corridors until she reach a large steel door with her mother’s image on it. Placing a hoof on the door caused the princess’ heart to beat even faster than before. It had been a little over a thousand years since she had last spoken to her.
She was always afraid that her father might be there, or her mother would tell her how disappointed she was in her. Luna couldn’t bear to hear that from her. For a moment, she thought of turning back to the moon, but stopped herself. She was going to do this, no matter what.
Slowly she opened the door, revealing an audience chamber. Along the sides were sea pony guards who carried tridents. At the other end of the room sat Oceana, who was in a deep discussion with another sea pony. As Luna stepped into the room, Oceana looked up and her eyes widened.
Luna stopped right where she was, unsure on what she should say or do. Before she could think of something, her mother flew off her throne and raced towards Luna to embrace her with both forelegs. Even though they were both underwater, Luna could feel the tears roll down her mother’s eyes.
“You’ve returned to me,” cried her mother. “I’ve waited for so long to see you again, I almost feared that this day might never come. But now, here you are.”
“I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” said Luna through her own tears.
Oh? The parents live? And they let that happen...?
Yikes.
And kudos to you about Blueblood. Nice to see him in a bit of a favorable light.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Dat ending.
3298391 He arranged it, reread it closely, he did it so that he would be able to get away with whatever he is planning.
3298411
Hm. So it seems.
Prick.
~Skeeter The Lurker
*sees chapter title*
not sure if hiatus excuse, or new chapter
My favorite episode? The Canterlot Wedding episode part 2, the moment when Celestia and Chrysalis duke it out and Celestia loses. That look on her face gets me laughing every time. After snubbing Twilight just so she could preside over the wedding, she got what she deserved.
Mane 6 Comments:
Luna and Celestia's parents are still alive!?!
Yay, we can throw them a "You're not dead but still alive party!"
Pinkie, if you're not dead you must be alive meaning your sign would have a redundant phrase... ugh.... but they have parents!?
But didn't you see the whole dream sequence? It pretty blatantly showed us her parents. Her father was a big meanie, but her mom seemed nice.
What dream sequence?
The one that happened just before Celestia ended her ritual looking thing.
Am I the only one who doesn't remember that?
I don't recall such a scene either darling, could you be confusing this with a book?
How didn't you see it! It was super sad and showed their father to be a real hothead.
What do you mean, was he angry a lot or something?
Well maybe, he seemed like a big meanie in how he talked about Luna. But he was literally on fire!
Sure.... Pinkie
Twi, any idea if the real Shining Armor has that Virgin-o-doohickey?
That's a good question. I guess I could always invite a guard to my room and pretend to be flirting to see if sirens start blaring....
Shoo-be-do Shoo Shoo be-do
What was that Pinkie?
It's the Seapony song from an earlier interpretation of us. Applejack's predecessor was even there!
Beg yer pardon?
3298530 pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4028-Capture.JPG
Great chapter. How will Luna's reunion with her mother turn out? Do Luna and Celestia's parent's know what's been going on? If so how do they feel about it. Look's like war might be on the horizon. The good new is that the Republic may have allies in the Buffalo.
Okay, one little nitpick here. As trusting as Celestia is, this is shortly after Blueblood showed to her just how much of an asshole he was. There is NO reason whatsoever for her to suddenly trust him now and believe he's starting to mature. She needs to be suspicious of his actions here and keep an eye on him, even if she doesn't let him know that he's drawn her misgiving. I mean, hell, she wants to rebuild relations with her sister, but the moment she's told that Cadence went to the moon Celestia starts thinking of the worst outcomes? So why does Blueblood get a pass on the suspicious-behavior thing despite showing quite clearly where he stands (his own side) while Luna is immediately being attributed to the negative actions despite wanting to rebuild relations as well, at least until she found out how Celestia let her past and followers be portrayed? Does not compute!
3298799 He's plotting something simple as that. Best guess: For what he's going to do he needs to be seen in a better light to avoid being suspected of it as it would mostly look like he's the bad guy, if they doubt he's the real suspect because of the positive air around him then he gets away with it. <but i doubt he's smart enough to see 10+ steps ahead.
3298932 Read a bit closer what I wrote, please. What I was saying was how it was ridiculous how Celestia isn't even suspecting that he's up to no good, despite having shown already that he really only cares for himself on top of his view towards bat ponies. And yet Celestia buys his sudden turnaround? That's what my problem is.
Buffalo You are epic
and So is Luna and the bat ponies and the main six
Great chapter! Also, totally agree with you on the Lightning Dust thing. Totally Spitfire's fault.
i just don't see how bluebloods plan will work. even if he does find some way to send troops to the moon it has been proven they can redirect teleports to important areas. i imagine the warehouses where resources are kept count as important. Even if his plans works its wont be hard to figure out that equestria had something to do with it. I cant wait to see bluebloods plan in action. another great chapter to a great story
3298799
True, he has shown how much of an asshole he is. However, in this chapter there is a crisis and he is doing what somepony in his position should do. He might still have some personality problems, but in Celestia's eyes he is taking the responciblity that comes with his title.
3298418 Me or Blueblood?
3301713
I believe Blueblood
3301713>>3301752
The father.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3301757:
Ah! Hard to tell sometimes
3301770
Yeah, I could have clarified.
My bad.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3304176
I think the link got messed up so that Laluzi could see it.
I wonder what you thought about Genetic Code and some of the other features in the Republic.
Yay Sea Ponies!
Having problems with your sister?
Tattle to your mother! xD
Looking forward to how this sorts itself out... And if Equestria goes to war with the Griffons... what happens when the Republic looses it's tech on the Griffons?
Ooh, fried chicken! Yummy!
Racist Appaloosa Better get screwed over, do not save their worthless Hides.
3306201 I loved it!
I pretty much figured that it was not all fun and games on the moon.
I do find it funny that Celestia just keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. I mean She is like an alcoholic except she needs an AA for making ridiculous plans and using people.
If she were honest in the beginning this would not have gotten so far out of control, but instead she tried to hide it. From there it has just gone from bad to worse as she refuses to put her hoof down when it comes to her people, and instead she devotes her time to figuring out more ways to force Luna to do what she wants to do
I understand Discord is coming and all that, but really Celestia needs to just admit that she made a mistake all those years ago plus admit that she could have done more to stop and/or correct the lies being told about her sister. Then she needs to show Luna she means what she says by actually taking action herself for once. Unfortunately the likelyhood of any of those things happening is very low.
All in all I love this story and cannot wait for the next chapter!
3306201...
1. I enjoyed the Appleloosa portion, you definitely portrayed Chief Thunderhooves well there. In particular, the non-use of contractions for Chief Thunderhooves' speech was the correct call in portraying his voice. And it is a sad truth that racists do not see themselves as "evil" or "wrong" in their perspective, it very literally does not occur to them in their minds.
2. The scene with Twilight being the emotional anchor for Princess Luna was also very well done, it was very in-tune of the bond of Twilight Sparkle & Princess Celestia in the canon-universe.
3. As for the scene relating the darker histories of The Lunar Republic and Genetic Code, it was pretty well done. It was the correct (literary) call to have Shadow Blade handle that storytelling portion to Scootaloo instead of Twilight. Your dynamic with this most unusual family is one of the strong points in your fan-fiction.
Likewise, it is a very important truth that Science must be objective, not amoral; far too many "scientists" forget that thin-line difference :( , and you portrayed that well.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
4. As with many others' comments, I also agree that the way you portray your AU Princess Celestia is questionable as well as seriously over-stretching reader believability.
Your AU-Celestia was groomed from birth to rule, and has been "ruling" for over a thousand years, yet she is almost pitifully blind to any machinations going on? Or the social/racial atmosphere of the nation she is supposed to have been created to rule? Or accepts Blueblood's 180-turn attitude change, with not even a vague event-change to trigger it, at face value with not even a hint of suspicion of ulterior motives?
I can see your AU-Celestia being the overanalytical chess-master struggling to use the least effort for the most effect, which is fairly close to the canon-Celestia, but this is like watching a someone taking a rook-piece, diagonally jumping it over a pawn, bishop, & knight, to the opposite end of the board and proudly saying "king me!" .
Celestia says she and Luna were meant to rule together, and that she fought hard to see them rule together, yet shows the memory of the exact opposite? Why not show a memory-scene of Celestia standing up to Molten Fury for Luna? Or was Celestia's "perfect plan" was to make Luna come broken and grovelling? Also of which, a "perfect plan" whose foundation is based upon a dream-memory...? That part made my eyes roll.
All of this compiles to make your Princess Celestia look both incompetent and impotent. Whether that is your deliberate intent, I do not know; which is a minor negative in of itself when the reader cannot understand the writer's intent .
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
5. Do not get me wrong... In the overall, I enjoy our AU fan-fiction, the Twilight-Scootaloo-Shadow family dynamic being my top-most favorite portion, among other good parts (I look forward to seeing if Twilight & Shadow do fully become "mom & dad" for Scootaloo). But your AU-Celestia is a serious negative anchor (she does not even serve as a competent antagonist) that is dragging your fan-fiction down for me.
3323742 I agree with almost everything you mentioned!
I also agree that Celestia does seem to have blinders on when it comes to BlueBlood
I do think that is in keeping with canon to a degree because Celestia was also blind to her sisters problems as well as blind to Cadences/Chrys's behavior. The show has shown many times where Celestia seems to like to take a backseat approach to ruling preferring to let everypony else deal with the major and minor problems that plague them.
This Celestia seems right in line with that.
Celestia reminds me of all those teachers that try to help when bullying starts up.
You know they talk to the bully and then force the victim and the bully together to work things out and apologize then expect things to be right as rain
Any of us that has been a bully's target knows that such actions will mostly result in more bullying, and often make the victim question "is the teacher stupid?"
Well Celestia is just like those teachers...she fully believes that if ponies were just told what is right and wrong that they would instinctively choose right.
She is not stupid just naive.
With that being said I do not believe she is meant to be the main antagonist.
It seems like BlueBlood will be filling that role as well as may be Sunset Shimmer.
Even Gigawatt might be added to the mix
There is just so much hate and so many misunderstandings that it probably would not take much to set things off.
After all it only takes a few sparks to ignite a powder keg.
I'm liking Equestria less and less as this story goes on.
Point 44 for the Republic.
Actually they are mer ponies, sea ponies are kinda like sea horses. Otherwise great work!
Yes, she did. She stormed into Spitfire's office and threw a tantrum, remember? But I have to agree with you that Wonderbolt Academy is one of the best episodes, but I believe it is for different reasons. I think it shows the not necessarily wanted consequences of throwing such a fit, i.e. ruining Lightning Dust's life, crushing her dreams, and driving her to a point where it is safe to assume she at least contemplated suicide.
Yeah, I think I'm going to stop now. See, I kinda like Blueblood, but more in a harmless fop way. Added to everything else, this story just isn't for me.
It's just me, though. Cheers to you anyway!
This has got to be my most favorite quote....ever!!!