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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hello
[img]skyrimwiki.com/images/thumb/f/fa/DaedricSword.png/200px-DaedricSword.png[/img]
"It's that damn simple! If the damn door is locked, break down the wall!"
LIKE A BOSS.
697108
XD In movies, they always go for the door and work hours on unlocking it.
I say, break down the damn wall next to the door!
697125:
XD So true.....
this is awesome, I was about to get off the computer when I saw this updated, you sir just made my day.
Yep, this is definitely worth the wait.
Id have to say this is your best writing so far. Can't wait for the next chapter
when you say 'couch' do you mean 'coach'?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
anyways, nicely done. me gusta, me gusta mucho
damn man
697343
Did I put couch? XD
You know... this fic used to be absolutely fucking godawful. It got popular by introducing people's OCs, nothing more. However, it has vastly improved. The writing has gotten much better. The story, though, was pretty much unsalvageable, though I'll grant you've made a heroic effort. However, I think I'm only reading it because it's so bad it's good... I very well may get a lot of hate for this comment, but it's my honest opinion. I'm sure that this isn't going to happen, but I'd recommend a full rewrite.
It's coach, not couch... 'I gulped and sprint for the other coach.' There are several other locations, this was just the first one.
Other than that, it's looking good!
As Gaben would say:
gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/gaben-worth-the-weight-6259_preview.png
*insert exploding head here*
A week or so? *twitch*.......*twitch*
'bout time you updated!!! good chapter btw
Ho...ly...shit...that 9,000 word chapter, was bad...fucking...ass...
So many ellipses!
697377
Didn't one of the previews you gave us have Tovy actually kiss Lance before he left?
Or was I hallucinating that day?
Otherwise, awesome!
EDIT: For some reason Kill's lines aren't on the downloadable text file, do you know why?
So...Chachila is dead?
Damn, that was quick though
dude i reread this entire fic and you should really reread it and fix some of your spelling errors the one that bothered me the most was your use of was instead of were other then the spelling errors it really is a great fic
Lance's most used 2 words : Da Fuck?
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-winter-wrap-up-with-spiderman.gif best thing ever
Holy shit this is long, do want to read, but damn, I'll be sitting here until christmas
ok ive been gone somepony get me up 2 speed
pretty cool
story now if you excuse me, i gotta go save the planet
I’m back, and I’ve read another twelve. Don’t act so shocked; we TOLD you this would be an “annual” occurrence.
R1: And these chapters were just as painful as the last ones.
This time I was smart enough to map out exactly what I took issue with as I read. That way, this will be more structured than the last one.
Starting off, naturally, we have the pitfall that “Three of Me: School Society” found itself in early on and that, to my knowledge, this STILL hasn’t recovered from: the ludicrous OC count. First out of the gate is Lance/Girokon himself, who I think we’ve covered enough last time. The only new things worth mentioning are his power to sign forms that let others see the princesses, and... the proposal. There’s David/Whitemark and Louie, who have all but faded into obscurity at this point. We have Malbatorus, who’s COMPLETELY on the sidelines, his only real scenes involving Fluttershy in some way; and Greg/Mellow Haze, who at this point in the story is just a pot joke that’s run for too long. Introduced in this batch of chapters, there’s Captain Barehoof of the Royal Guard, the only one who was NOT a human. And, thanks to canon hindsight, shouldn’t even BE captain unless at some point he steps his ass down to make way for Shining Armor. There’s the COMPLETELY nondescript Zane/Stormy Vision and Aaron/Nightwing, and the only marginally more significant Peter/Purple Blaze. Finally, we meet Dana, Cody, and Frederic/Iron Clad, all of which have had enough time in the limelight for me to have shit to say about them later on.
R1: And don’t worry, I’ll keep my thoughts about Iron as a person out of this. Iron as a CHARACTER, though? That’s completely different.
For those of you keeping count at home, that’s twelve recurring OCs. AKA far too many to have in a story that doesn’t know how to handle the few it had already.
The only significance Louie had on this portion of the story was impregnating Winona and fathering puppies. Which, by the way, I don’t think would’ve been born two months after conception, not even for dogs. By the way, I’m going to be VERY disappointed if Twilight was given the HUMAN nine-month cycle, but that would mean having enough faith in the pacing to expect the plot to ADVANCE that far.
R1: “*Eight months later...* “‘Oh, what cute foals!’” <Exactly what I expect to happen by now.
It would actually be seven, since he was down for two, but fuck it, the story doesn’t remember that either.
R1: I know, I was accounting for that.
And the puppies have no bearing on anything significant. David’s puppy Leonardo was basically a one-off gag from where I’m sitting, and if it showed up after my cutoff point, the fact that it took that many chapters to reappear is not a good thing. Churchill was equally pointless, only defined by an ability to read and an awful LSD trip of a dream sequence. And Weedy... okay, words cannot even express how wrong it is for a puppy - A FUCKMOTHERING PUPPY - to be scoping out chicks, smoking illegal substances, and wearing stupid clothing. The fact that it’s doing that, and that it’s Greg’s fault, just increases the level of contempt I have for him.
This group of chapters was the point where I gave up watching the passage of time. Part of the reason was due to the two-month gap chapter 12 bridged. But the main reason is just what that skip has done to time within the story. The only thing I think could believably work in that time gap was Twilight going through pregnancy after that one fling with Lance. But if it’s two months in, how is her baby-belly as visible as it is? Especially if equine child-bearing lasts ELEVEN? On top of that, most of the bronies introduced here were met off-screen in the time AFTER his awakening from the most retarded dream sequence ever, which signifies that David and Greg put almost zero effort into finding anyone else, with the possible exception of Zane. Also, Rainbow Dash has had absolutely ZERO development in that time, positive or otherwise; it’s like in the realm of characters (bar Twilight), time FROZE for the coma period of Lance’s life, showing beyond a shadow of a doubt that this story revolves around him and him alone. And again, WHY ARE THE PUPPIES ALREADY BORN!?
R1: Obviously, because of the reason.
PLUS. Malbatorus was stated to have spent about a month outside of Everfree. Which means either A. he wasted a month still IN that princess-forsaken forest, or B. the story really has no clue how long Lance was unconscious.
R1: And I just can’t get over that. TWO MONTHS right next to Lance’s side. Without going anywhere else. How did she even know that she was pregnant if she didn’t go anywhere?
Oh god, the pregnancy... now that it’s given more than a sentence of attention, there’s MORE wrong with it. First of all, again, it shouldn’t be a fucking thing. Second of all, again, she’s showing far too soon, and I’m gonna be PISSED if I keep reading and find out the fic’s humanized the childbirth cycle. Third, and most shockingly... nopony, nopony at all, takes issue with the fact that she slept with a random stallion she’d only known for nine days and got pregnant from it. Not even that godawful caricature the story still insists is supposed to be Rainbow Dash.
Oh god. Rainbow. Fucking. DASH. I’m still in an unholy FURY over what this story’s done to her. The only saving grace here is that she’s in it less. But the two scenes of hers that stick out in my mind are inexcusable.
The first is the scene in chapter 13. You know. The one where she gets Lance to kiss her, lures him to her house and proceeds to do the same goddamn thing Luna tried in chapter 10. Which tells me that she’s obsessed over Lance for exactly the same amount of time Twilight has, and she doesn’t have anything but jealousy and rapist intentions to show for it. Basically, she has done NO GODDAMN DEVELOPING since he clocked out, and she had less of a reason to care about his unconsciousness than Twilight did.
R1: ”Oh, I’m so sorry about killing you...but, oh right, I’ll still TRY TO RAPE YOU.”
The second infuriates me for the exact OPPOSITE reason, if you can believe it. It’s the tail end of chapter 23, when Twilight is showing off her engagement swag. And trust, me, I’m getting to THAT bullshit later. This thing... this jealous, malicious, rapist beast of a mare, who has her unholy eyes set on the same stallion as one of her best friends... is completely fine with said friend marrying said stallion.
COMPLETELY. FUCKING. FINE WITH IT.
I get it. I get why that move could have been made. Maybe the story finally moved to make Rainbow Dash what she’s SUPPOSED to be. Maybe it’s just an attempt to show that she’s moving on from this experience and learning from it.
Fuck that. The sudden shift to a more canon personality creates an insane inconsistency with the character previously established in the narrative, hateful though it was. And if it’s meant as development, there’s zero buildup and zero purpose other than to finally get her sorry flank out of the way and do away with the competition. Which means the story’s trying to pull the same trick Dash did with the poison, but in a way that hurts the reader more than it does any character.
It’s fine to try and purge the monster that wanted to be Rainbow Dash and replace it with the awesome that is Rainbow Dash. BUT DON’T RETCON IT.
R1: The answer is obviously mind-control. With everything Lance does, a pulse of energy is released from the empty void where his heart is supposed to be that instantly makes everyone else fine with whatever he’s doing.
What I wouldn’t give to read THAT instead. And I think the only one immune to it is his mother, Dana.
R1: Oh, yes. The only character with any semblance of sense, annoying as she may be.
And it’s odd that it’s one of the human OCs that gets that honor. Yeah, yeah, overprotective controlling mother and all that, but I root more for her than I do for any other fuckwit in the story. Mainly that’s because she’s trying to undo the Gary Stu spell Lance has put Twilight under.
R1: Amazingly, she actually REALIZES that her son choosing to use his afterlife to FUCK A GODDAMN CARTOON PONY ISN’T ANYWHERE NEAR NORMAL.
Best part? Where I stopped, she still hasn’t quit. She’s STILL actively trying to find him and get some sense into that stupid Stu-ish head of his. I think her only real crime is not being happy she has a grandchild on the way.
...no, wait, of COURSE she’s not happy about it. IT’S WITH A PASTEL CARTOON HORSE WITH A MAGIC TRAMP STAMP.
R1: I’ve read more than you have, and annoyingly, her romance DOES move as fast as most of them do in this fic. But as least she’s “normal” for these first few appearances
Fuck, she DOES end up with Barehoof?
R1: Yep.
I weep for equinity AND humanity.
Speaking of humanity, how do the OTHER new OCs hold up? I’m not going to just automatically say they don’t; that would be unfair. I’ll instead explain WHY.
Peter, one of the slightly more prominent shoehorned-in characters, is about as much a one-trick... yeah... as Greg, but with pranks instead of marijuana. As far as I’m concerned, the tragic backstory with the friend who got hit by a car didn’t happen, since it clearly isn’t as impactful to his character as it was probably intended to be.
Aaron had basically fuck-all to do in the entire span of the story I’ve read. The only thing I even remember of him is his fling with Vinyl Scratch, which I’m naturally none too thrilled about.
R1: It’s obvious that he just sent an OC in and said “I want him to fuck Vinyl.”
Zane... he’s had LESS than nothing to do. Hell, I literally didn’t remember he existed until I looked back on my notes to type this. All he has going for him is his mystery quest, which I still count as less than nothing until some motivation can be wretched out of him.
Speaking of shit-tastic motivation... hel-LOOOOOOOOOOOOO Cody.
R1: As much as I want Lance to die (PERMANENTLY this time), this is NOT the right motivation.
For the negative-five of you sitting here reading this who don’t understand what we’re getting at: back on Earth before the Rapture, Cody’s father was struggling with his business and needed to get money from ungodly shady loan sharks to get it afloat. He was nearing the deadline for payment, and the business was still flopping, so Cody had to get that money himself. On his way to hand off a $50,000 check, he ran into Lance, who was being mugged. He stopped the mugger, who instead grabbed Cody’s coat, the pocket of which contained the check. Not long after, his dad was found dead from a gunshot wound to the head outside his company building.
R1: And instead of going to the POLICE or something that would be SENSIBLE, he decided to take his rage out on Lance. Again, good idea, STUPID reasoning.
There are GAPING holes in this plot. First of all, why doesn’t he put any blame on the fucking mugger? Is it just because he got a name out of Lance? And how did he find out Lance was a brony? How could he have guessed he’d want to go to Equestria after the world went kaput? How did God let him do the same when he obviously knows how much of a beacon of purity it is? Why is he completely blind to the reason that Lance - yes, LANCE - throws his way? And how in all the fucks did this average person-turned-pony manage to wipe out an entire squad of the Royal Guard? And this is speaking from prior knowledge given to me by the second LTD/3oM crossover: WHY IS HE LET OFF THE HOOK SO EASILY!?
R1: Again, because of THE REASON.
I’m not fond of the reason right now.
R1: None of us are.
Well, in any case, that only really leaves one more human-turned-pony OC. Do you want this one, Ring, or are you on thin enough ice with this guy as it is?
R1: If Iron’s going to respond with images like he did last time, then I have an image for him.
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/284/c/5/firewalls_cutie_mark_by_johntb-d4cjkr0.png
Know what that is, Prime?
I... don’t.
R1: For shame. That’s the cutie mark of a certain OC pony named Firewall. Otherwise known as “the star of Through the Eyes of Another Pony”.
Oh, you’re evil.
R1: Yes, thanks for noticing.
...ANYway, that little squabble aside, I do definitely have grievances with Frederic in this story, though I expected him to make me angrier than he actually does.
R1: I’ll go first. If any of you HAVEN’T read Through the Eyes (by CardsLafter), it’s pretty much the best OC/canon romance in the entire fandom. And, of course, it’s OC/Luna. Which means, I’ll be comparing what I’ve seen Iron do in this story so far to that romance.
Through the Eyes took TIME to even get them together in the first place. And I don’t mean “five years we never saw”, there was quite a bit of buildup, including if Firewall would even act upon any feelings he might have had in the first place because of the whole “he used to be a human” thing. Hell, it took him (spoilers for the original version of TtE) being sent back to Earth by a crazed, controlling, douchey human god hundreds of thousands of words in to even admit that he loved her. Here, it’s just “OH WE HAD ONE DATE LET’S GET MARRIED”. Seriously, if a person you knew for five years as a friend suddenly asked you out, would you accept a marriage proposal from him/her after one date?
No, you wouldn’t. No one in their right mind would. So, again, mind-control.
Also, going back to the “he used to be a human” thing, I noticed that that’s one thing we didn’t talk about enough in the first review. WHY IS EVERYONE SUDDENLY FINE WITH FUCKING CARTOON PONIES?
We had our bit with Louie fucking a cartoon dog. That’s probably the bigger issue.
Anyway, yes, Frederic had been in Equestria for five years. That’s plenty of time to develop feelings for somepony else. I’ll even ignore the fact that he’s chasing after royalty, since TtE’s an example of it being done right. It takes those five years to pony up and ask Luna out.
R1: No, remember? HE didn’t! Lance did it for him!
This is true, but in fairness, there ARE relationships that start out like that.
There are NOT, however, relationships that wind up in the engagement zone just one date in.
R1: Well, with the exception of most relationships in the state of Alabama.
...classy.
My point is, I have some respect for the duration of Frederic’s feelings for Luna. But Luna’s feelings for Frederic? Seriously, LANCE AND TWILIGHT had better pacing than this, and I tore their relationship to fucking SHREDS. I seriously need to find out where the fic’s getting all its caffeine from and burn down the factory. Blow up the bridges to the area. Close off the air space. Fuck with the train tracks.
R1: Where’d you get “caffeine” from? It’s obviously on crack.
That was going to be a segue into character “derailment” from the train thing before you interrupted. But... yeah, that was a stupid setup anyway.
R1: Before we move from this topic, I have one or two last things to say. The extent of what I’ve read of LTD involves the reviewed chapters, and the next few X2 chapters(32, 42, 52). I did that just to see if my theory was right, and the fic is at its WORST every X2 chapters. From that, I learned a...fact.
It turns out that Iron becomes an alicorn from marrying Luna. How, I don’t know, but it can’t be from the sex because they’ve obviously had that before the marriage. This is a horrible writing idea that I will get to in more detail in the next review.
However, it gives me an interesting headcanon of Iron having some master plan of using the marriage to become an alicorn, something I would have come up with even if I DIDN’T have past, less-than-great experiences with the person behind the character.
...it’s back onto me now? Okay then. Canon derailment 2.0.
Dash wasn’t the only canon character I watched get derailed. No, I bore witness to something far worse: the derailment of the character of my mane-six best pony, Pinkie Pie.
I get it, you probably have it in for her. It’s probably not that easy to write a character you’re not fond of. But if you’ve read “Total Magic Pony Island...” That author DESPISES Pinkie, and she’s one of the most sympathetic and best-written characters in the story. So I refuse to give you that leeway, because properly writing a character you dislike shouldn’t be impossible and DEFINITELY shouldn’t go this badly.
R1: I think copy-pasting a bit from Fallen’s “review notes” should say enough, here:
-oh-ow
-oh god PINKIE WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU
And later:
-unrealistic effects of pot on Pinkie
-JESUS FUCK PINKIE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
That first one was actually about the swapping of “oh” for “ow,” but... yeah, that was almost entirely done by Pinkie. That little obnoxious verbal tic is only the start of what the story does to poor Pinkie Pie, though.
Canon Pinkie is a fun-loving ball of happy. She loves her friends, and the most gratifying thing in her life is to see them smiling and having fun. So of course, this is her life’s purpose: to spread her infectious positive energy to all around her. She’s also a fountain of unexpected information, both about certain things other ponies might find obscure (“Swarm of the Century”) and about those she calls her friends, AKA everyone forever (“A Friend in Deed,” which, I know, aired after these chapters were written). Yes, she’s a chronic partier who loves to have a good time, but what fun is it if nopony else can enjoy themselves with her? She values friendship more than anything and needs the joy of others; you’ve SEEN how she deals with rejection and abandonment.
I think you just saw “chronic partier” and “fun-loving ball of happy” and stopped there. Her energy is all there, because only the worst of authors overlook her endless supply of energy, but with the depths of her bubbly personality and any semblance of real intelligence sapped away, all that’s left is annoyance. Which the narrative implies was the whole fucking point.
R1: Amazingly, from a writing standpoint, she’s not even in the top five most annoying in the fic.
No, but Greg certainly still is, and what he got Pinkie to do is rock bottom for both of them. He, in all his infinite stoner wisdom, thought it was a brilliant idea to turn Pinkie Pie from a hyperactive party pony into OH GOD MAKE IT STOP. And how is that accomplished? Caffeine and sugar, right?
LOLNOPE POT N VODKA
I’ve seen a metric fuck-ton of portrayals of drunkenness. Hell, I’ve even seen actual drunkenness. That was a fun commute to Boston...
R1: But in NO WAY does either make a person MORE hyper.
Hell, I’m pretty sure the point of marijuana is to have the OPPOSITE effect. It should have, god forbid, calmed Pinkie down.
R1: Enough to realize what’s going on and go on an OC killing spree.
I’d pay good money to see that. But no. Ballroom... completely trashed. How does Greg keep convincing people to do shit like this?
Oh, right. Stu brainwashing.
The entire Grand Galloping Gala is itself a point of issue. For one thing, and this is actually a MINOR issue: the Gala in canon got trashed something awful by the mane six. Fluttershy will forever haunt my nightmares, but ANYWAY. It’s kind of a foregone conclusion when the Gala happens in a story that shit’s gonna go down, so there’s a bit of dramatic tension hurled out the metaphorical window.
But its announcement in the fic was juxtaposed with equally prevalent mention of a looming war with the griffons. I immediately thought of “Equestria: Total War” and several other stories once the words “griffon” and “war” were even used together. And just look at the fat load of nothing we have to show for it twenty-four chapters into the story. Ring, does that ever happen later?
R1: Not that I know of. However, I do remember 222 saying something about him finally getting to that in a 20,000-word chapter...being written now. As in, about one hundred chapters from now.
So THAT’S what that’s all about... yeah, I’ll stick with E:TW.
Speaking of nothing, chapters 19 and 20 were devoted to bullshit buildup to the Gala, as well as this as-of-yet-imaginary war. Nothing got accomplished other than trying to remind us vainly that the brushed-aside characters still mattered. Plus, it seems like nothing is exactly what happens during the Gala between the proposals and the crashing. Chapter 23 was basically the padding chapter. And since there were only three dedicated to the event itself, that was a really shitty move.
...okay, so two ACTUAL things happened. Peter got his obligatory tragic backstory, and Rainbow Dash pulled a Heel Face Turn so quickly it gave me whiplash.
The next issue is also sort of a nitpick, but it’s a nitpick that could’ve altered the plot SO much. The issue of tickets and security. Yes, Lance and his friends all got the golden tickets. But Dana didn’t. She flirted her way into the palace, validating every sex-goddess joke I made about her. How few guards must have been stationed at the entrance for her to charm her way in? Hell, who the fuck would’ve let Greg into the palace with a still-lit joint in his mouth, ticket or no? And who’d let him enter, leave, then COME BACK?
R1: Thereason, the most incompetent palace guard they’ve ever had.
If you could only see how hard I’m rolling my eyes right now... but yeah, if they had halfway decent security, Dana would ever have gotten in and met Barehoof. And Greg would’ve never been allowed anywhere near the palace, let alone Pinkie.
Finally... we get to the main event. The ultimate dread of the bunch. The X2 moment.
THE PROPOSALS.
R1: Oh god, these...things.
I think we’ve said enough about Frederic and Luna’s proposal. And by we, I mean... no, wait, that was the one thing I DID have input on.
Anyway... Lance Greenfield and Twilight Sparkle. This pairing has very quickly become the bane of my existence.
R1: I was considering saying something about that pairing on TVTropes...but then THAT site became an unfeeling hugbox all of a sudden. You used to be able to say anything you want when it came to fanfics. Now...not anymore.
Oh, you’ll get over it.
R1: Maybe...but on the other hand, they deleted all the ComicsNix pages.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway, this proposal simultaneously makes more and less sense than the one that preceded it. On the one hand... they’ve had a little more time together. Even factoring out the time Lance spent in a coma. Plus, having a baby on the way is one of the most common reasons for marriage.
On the other hand... well, for one thing, the pairing and the baby shouldn’t even exist. But I really can’t help but feel that Lance’s proposal was... reactionary. He saw Frederic get all poetic up there with Luna and realized, “WIFE? I WANT ONE TOO!”
R1: Also, I know the intent is (kind of) good, but something about the way he words this line of reasoning just comes off weird: “Wait a damn minute! I haven't proposed to Twilight! And she's pregnant!”
So not only does it seem like he’s only doing it because all the cool kids are, but it also seems forced, as if it’s his contractual obligation to put a ring on it because his marefriend’s with child.
I’m sorry. Are we still supposed to think Lance loves her?
R1: Do I need to fucking say it again? MIND CONTROL. Lance had a weird obsession with Twilight before the Rapture, and with his new powers, acted on that in the most canon-destroying way possible. Or, at least that’s my headcanon.
You know... going through the fic with that in mind actually makes it seem more sinister. Hell of a lot darker, too. Why wasn’t THAT the story instead? And don’t you DARE say it’s because of the fucking reason again...
R1: No, I was going to do some self-promotion and mention that I’m writing a fic that involves a parody-Stu with evil mind-control powers. The mind-control is pretty much the only thing it took from LTD, though, and that’s not even actually from the fic. However, I just want to try one last thing.
Twilight's head snapped up, like she just remembered something, "I almost forgot, Giro needs a place to stay. Does anypony know a place for him."
Applejack stopped at the door, "We have a spare room at the farm, he can stay there."
Twilight looked disappointed, "Yeah, that would work. What do you say Giro?"
Faced with the prospect of living with Applejack, I decided to put my new power to use. Suddenly, just by thinking about it, a blue wave of energy shot out from me, passing through everypony else in the room. "Uhh, sorry but no, I do not like farms that much."
Twilight perked up at that, "Well, if you don't want to stay at Applejack's farm, you can stay here. I have a spare room next to mine."
YES! It worked! Keeping my composure as calm as possible, I carefully worded my reply. "Okay, I'll stay here I guess."
Oh god, that’s MUCH better. (And, no, that’s not from the fic I’m writing at all, don’t worry.)
Oh, and speaking of self-promotion... those of you who are fans of 3oM? That rewrite’s coming. Basically already here, but Killjoy has yet to send it to the mods. And guess who’s working on it alongside him?
...mostly me. I do my part to help guide the plot in the best direction, and I’m there to proofread.
R1: Hey, I proofread, too. I also try to control some of the worst parts of the original version, making sure they don’t appear in the rewrite.
No, we’re not working to undermine the story. This is the first time I’ve actually had a shade of creative power over a story, and I want it to be EPIC. I shit you not, if all goes well, it could be EqD material.
ALSO speaking of self-promotion... here you go. The first sixty chapters of the MST. Minus the “Crossover of Consciences,” since that was covered in full already in the 3oM riff. And yes, I have only reached 24. Which is STILL farther than anyone else managed.
R1: For those of you that don’t know what an MST is, we go in and absolutely tear apart the fic, oftentimes turning demonic because of our perceived “hatred”. We do exaggerate for the MST, though...however, it’s not that much of a stretch for us to go from “exaggeration” to “actual hatred” with this fic. Fun game: See if you can find where that happens.
95% of you are going to hate what we say and flame us for it, but I’m SLIGHTLY hoping the remaining 5% will actually want to join in, through the right-click-comments feature. Hell, we have a 3oM fan or two in THAT fic’s MST, so why not this one?
Plus, Through the Eyes, Ring’s all-time favorite, and Past Sins, one of MY all-time favorites, are/were cannon fodder for the crew. It’s a labor of love too, people.
R1: And THEY(CardsLafter and Pen Stroke) even accepted the MST and were amused by it! I kind of wish that 222 would realize that we’re exaggerating and take it as a joke like they did... oh, wait. Awesome. 636496
And a drinking game: take a shot every time threats are made involving rusty sawblades.
R1: Are you TRYING to kill them all!?
Shit, right. Um, sorry, cancel that game. I don’t want to be held responsible for any alcohol-related deaths.
This is Fallen Prime of Fan/fic/ Theater 3000,
and R1NGmasterJ5 of Fan/fic/ Theater 3000 and Under the Bridge,
signing off until the next batch of bullshit.
762508
Well, I would make a bigger post, but, I'm strapped for time, so:
there’s Captain Barehoof of the Royal Guard, the only one who was NOT a human. And, thanks to canon hindsight, shouldn’t even BE captain unless at some point he steps his ass down to make way for Shining Armor.
Please note, this part was written before Shining Armor made his appearance. But, Barehoof does step down soon (In a strange way, I'll admit)
I do plan to do a rewrite of this entire story, with only three or four OC's instead of the thirty or so I have now. The rewrite will be completely different, and the relationship in that one will take a longer time to develop, because, Twilight will be in character. And, I think you know what that means
Also, the only reason the story was that bad in the beginning was because I was new to writing and wasn't really paying attention to what I was writing.
serisouly somebody tell me what happend while i was gone am i in the story what happend to maltrobous whats up with the bionic eye and clones this is equiestria for gods sake there is no technology and *breaths heavily* WTF HAPPEND i mean sesly how long have i been gona and seth whats up with the foal in ur pic
Welp, this was as painful to read as ever.
As I've not been looking for a while... Is this dead, am I missing something, or just busy?
EVERYONE:
Read this
784462
It's either busy, or on hold till I can write the rewrite
786257
That's my only reaction to his response to this story.
I've read all the chapters (even the cloppy parts which im not a fan of) and i'll say, you've taught me well.
oh god over 13800 comments and 250K words
There's no way.....
D'oh. Rewrites? I was gonna start reading that lol. Oh well, but I favorited so I can see when updated chapters are posted
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Actually, there's 346k words. I'm just taking away the chapters to update them.
I have gotten over 100 unread chapters on this now that you have updated, i forgot I even fav'd
holy crap, that escalated quickly. over 100 chapters in 1 day.
WHYYYY my fav list went from 6 to 123 looks like i got some reading to do
1177479
Hahaha! I know right?
But thanks XD I'm actually enjoying writing for it now :D
I promised my friend I would read this...
My thoughts on the promise so far?
I REGRET NOTHING FOR THIS IS ONE OF THE ACTUAL STORIES I ENJOOOY!
At first I criticized... saying "Oh looky here. Just another brony-go-pony story... like the rest."
I was wrong, I figured "Ton of OC's, that's already a problem."
Now I'm thinking... huh. I was wrong. It does seem like another brony-go-pony story, but there is just SOMETHING about it... something awesome.
Keep this up. Keeepp iittt uppp.
I do give you credit for not making Giro a combination of everything but the kitchen sink because it looked cool, but because it was weird as all hell
1334384 Sorry, that's my character, Grace.
how go's the rewrite? what chapter you up to?
I miss some of the older chapters where life was simpler and Lance had a normal day with miner problems. Back then I felt more connection to him, but now it feels like your just not trying. You seem to be lacking that originality that I loved in the beginning, and although your writing ability has gotten exceedingly better, the story element was lost a wile ago. I hope that you will be refreshed if you come back to this story, I still want to know whats next.
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It is a LOT to re-write. It's possible he's just re-posting the material since it's a pain to re-update every edited chapter one by one as they're done.
...Or he could have given up. I honestly have no clue.
The last update was on my birthday