Warning:
This chapter is silly and breaks the fourth wall.
It will be the only chapter that does this.
Shining was tossed into a cold damp cell by a group of guards. He winced in pain when his bruised body landed on the stone floor. He heard the bare door shut behind him and lock.
Shining jerked his head up slowly and looked back at his captors from behind the rusty metal bars of his cell. One of them walked forward and tossed the gem to him.
“You have ‘till sunrise to complete the challenge.” barked one of the changeling drones as he pointed his hoof to a familiar looking hybrid. “Hybrid 13, codename Wasp, has agreed to keep watch over you and make sure you do as her Majesty has instructed. He is to watch you at all times so that we may know whether you have taken the trial or not.”
Wasp smiled mischievously and locked eyes with Shining. Obviously, he was planning on doing more than just watching him tonight.
The antenna-like ears of all the normal changelings began to twitch in unison.
“The queen,” continued the drone from before. “has just issued a statement. If you don’t complete the trial by sunrise tomorrow, we are to drain one of our hostages to death.” When he finished speaking, the drones marched off, leaving Shining and Wasp alone.
Wasp trotted closer to the cell and loomed over Shining, looking down at him with a smug smile.
“The chant,” he said. “to summon the spirit goes as follows. Spirit of Harmony, fill my heart with joy.”
Shining glared at him.
“It’s nice to see you to again Wasp.” he said sarcastically. “So, it looks like you were wrong. You're more than just a clone of me, you and your siblings are my children.”
“No!” snapped Wasp. “You are not my father! When a changeling is conceived, the males ponies sperm is altered. Is that what mother told you? Look, I might have your mane, I may be able to mimic your shield spell for a brief time, but we will never be family. The Queen is just playing games in your head. I bet she left out the part that she also infused me with Cadences hair, but I think most of her DNA got overwritten by yours.”
Shining shook his head. “You don’t sound really sure. I’m not sure how the birds and the bees work for changelings, but there are two plausible arguments that at least make you my son. Once, you have my genes, and two, I gave you and your siblings life. Trust me, if you say the others aren’t my offspring that’s less of a burden on me, but despite how we may feel, we are connected.”
Wasp snarled. “We don’t have all night, so please take that damn trial so I can leave. I’m missing a party at the Fancy Pants’ estate because of you.”
Shining smiled lightly, and found the strength to lift himself up from the ground. He wobbled a bit but managed to catch his hoofing. “You know, it’s funny, you seem more bothered by the fact we're related then the fact that I’m not listening to you. And to top it off, you’d rather be at some high society pony party than…” Shing paused for a moment and straightened himself. “Serving the Queen.” he said in a raspy voice similar to one most of the drones had.
Wasp pointed a hoof at Shining and it morphed it into a strange object that the stallion didn’t recognise.
“What is that?” asked Shining as he looked at the rectangular piece of metal connect to Wasp’s leg. He peered into the small hole on the the very end of the object.
“I wouldn’t get too close to that if I were you.” muttered Wasp.
“Why?” asked Shining curiously. “What is this thing? I thought you could only turn your hooves into swords.”
“Any weapon that can leave a sting I can make, though I find swords more practical. This, however, is one of my favorite kind of weapons next to swords. My brother Gizmo invented these kind of weapons a couple of months ago. Here, let me show you what it does.”
Wasp turned and pointed the strange weapon at the wall, and a loud noise echoed in Shining’s ear. He could feel something whizz past his fur before hearing another loud noise behind him. He turned around, and that whatever came out that hole had left a huge dent in the wall. He looked back at Wasp with a frightened expression, still unsure about what just happend.
Wasp smiled. “That, my friend, is how a hoof gun works. Normally, you need to pull a trigger with magic and fill them with ammunition. However, by converting my magic supply into matter, I can create my own bullets, and since it’s connected to my hoof all I have to do is think to fire them.”
Wasp’s gun morphed back into a hoof as he withdrew his leg. “Imagine, Shining.” he said. “If my brother were to mass produce these kinds of weapons for the drones, your pegasus soldiers wouldn’t stand a chance. Be grateful that my brother is very protective about his inventions.”
Shining gazed into Wasp’s green eyes. “You and your siblings are more like ponies than you like to admit, aren’t you? You tell jokes, you have pride, and if from what I can tell, you don’t always agree with Chrysalis. Why do you try and deny how pony you really are deep down?”
Wasp snarled. “Do you know of our goddess, Volucris? She was once a simple earth pony until a pony filled her heart with hatred and lust. Then she became our first queen and gave birth to our race. If our kind appears cold and unloving, its because of the cruelty you bestowed unto our goddess.”
Shining nodded. “Well, if hating us makes you so happy, then why do you want to go Fancy’s party? You still haven’t explained that. Also, I can tell that you aren’t being completely honest with me or yourself. A part of you is curious about our way of life, and wants to be a part of it.”
“Heh,” he huffed. “Like your kind would ever accept me.”
A tear dripped down Wasp face as he morphed his right leg into a sword, and banged it against the bars. “This conversation is over!” he shouted, strands of saliva dangling between his fangs. “You will never be a friend to me, Shining, let alone a father. No, to me, you are nothing but a walking bag of food. Now summon that damned spirit or I’ll personally gut that bat freak that lodged a spear in my chest.”
The amount of emotion welling up inside Wasp masked his intention. Not even Shining could tell if he was lying or not, and he would rather not test him.
I guess I have no choice but to go along with him, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to pass this one with how hopeless I feel.
Shining lifted his hoof to Wasp. “I need you to lift the gem up here with your magic.” he said in a snarky tone as he gestured to the device on his horn.
Wasp placed the gem onto Shining’s hoof and watched as Shining held up the gem.
“Spirit of Harmony,” mumbled Shining drolly. “Fill my heart with joy.” Huh, cause right now I feel as hopeless as a private without a captain.
After the chant, Shining looked around the world, looking for any colorful character that might have popped into the room. Him and Wasp waited for a full minute, but nothing happend.
Shining turned to his changeling child. “Are you sure that was the right chant?” he asked.
“Positive, replied Wasp. “Mom had several sources, all claiming that was the phrase. The stupid gem must be broken.”
The two of them looked back at the gem, only to find that it was no longer there. In its place rested a fancy Saddle Arabian oil lamp.
“Where the hell did this come from!” asked Shining has he tried to brush the dust with his other hoof.
Just then, the lamp turned into a young purple dragon.
“Spike!” shouted Shining.
“Eenope!” stated an unfamiliar voice. Wasp and Shining looked to see a large Earth Pony with an apple slice cutie mark holding up a large stick that was holding up Spike. “It’s just Mac Testa.”
“What is going on?” screamed Wasp as he now found himself inside the cell with Shining. “How did that pony get in here?! How did I get here?!”
Suddenly, a odd music began to play in the cell. The two of them turned to search for the source of music, only to find a small television set in the corner. On the screen, a white pegasus mare with a yellow puffy mane giggled to herself.
“Surprise!” she shouted. “Are you guys ready to play a little game?”
“Who are you?” asked Wasp.
“I just told you, Surprise. Why does everypony, or changeling/pony in this case, say that after I tell them my name?”
“I take it you're the Spirit of Laughter?” replied Shining.
“The jaw on the TV's mare dropped as she leaned her head backwards. “How did you know?!” she shouted. “Shining Armor, are you secretly a psychic? Oho, this give me a TV-show idea!”
Suddenly the image on the tv changed to a yellowish titled screen with the words “That’s So Shiny” embedded it. Meanwhile, a tune which Shining found catchy started to play in the background.
That’s so Shiny.
It’s the harmony gems I must seek.
That’s so Shiny.
Even though everything feels so bleak
Yeah!
The channel turned back to the spirit, who was giggling to herself. “I’m hoping Disney won’t sue, but I don’t think they can cross dimensions like I can, so I think that can get aired here in the spirit world.”
Shining smiled slightly, surprised at how this mare could lift his own spirit up, if only a little bit.
Wasp morphed his hoof into a gun again and pointed it at the screen. “If this is the spirit world,” he huffed. “Then why the hell am I here?”
“Well, silly,” she said with cheerful grin. “After I heard you guys for the first one-thousand words of this chapter, I decided Shining Armor isn’t the only one who could use my help. Don’t worry, it will all play out later on in the story.”
Shining stared back at the spirit with a look of confusion, unsure of what she meant by 'story'. However, this was the least of his concerns at the moment. He went to the TV and got a closer look at Surprise.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can pass this one.” he said. “Right now, my friends are being held hostage and I’m being forced to complete the trials to grant a psychotic queen her wish. Normally I love to laugh, but I’m not really feeling all that optimistic anymore.”
Surprise stretched her hoof out of the TV and patted Shining on the back. “A word of advice Shining, you should really try to forget your anxiety. If you're at peace, I foresee things will work themselves out. Right now, that bird you sent to your sister is leading Pinkie and the other elements to save you. Trust me, the best way to win is to not worry and cheer up. If you don’t, I’m going to have to go yank your soul like that guy from that gory fighting game I like.”
While Shining still couldn’t figure Surprise out, most of what she said made sense. Just like the Orc skirmish, he would have to endure the hardships and remains hopeful.
“Ok Surprise,” as a new feeling of confidence rose inside him. “What would you have me do?!”
“Both you and Wasp need to laugh together.” she stated.
Shining’s eyes widened as he felt his new found confidence slowly dwindle.
“Ha.” said Wasp. “Like that would ever happen.”
“Well if it doesn't happen in three hours Shining fails the change and stays with me. When I open this cage the two of you will explore this little dimension I created filled with prank supplies and other worldly humor. Also, there is no death here so don’t get any funny ideas, unless they are really funny. Good luck Shining!”
The video screen quickly turned off and the room fell into silence. The two guys looked at each other before they heard the cell doors open by themselves.
“I’m not going to make this easy for you!” Wasp said scowling. Shining heard the buzzing of his son’s wings begin as he watched Wasp fly out of the cell and turn a corner.
“Optimism Shining.” he whispered silently to himself. “I need to believe that I can reach him. Deep down, he’s not all changeling, and it’s about high time he realised it... I’m screwed.”
---------
Damn him! thought Wasp as he flew down a bright yellow corridor. No matter how hard I try, I can’t muster enough hate for him. It seems the more I try, the more I start to think about him as something more than just another dumb pony.
Wasp turned and opened a random door with his magic before hopping inside. In the room, there was field where a large black duck and grey coated rabbit were arguing about the seasons with a strange hairless creature in brown. As the two animals fought the creature kept moving his gun as if he couldn’t decide which one to shoot. Wasp chuckled a bit but quickly put his hooves over his mouth when he remembered what was at stake.
Wait, I can laugh at this. he reassured himself. I just can’t laugh with Shining. So long as I avoid him for the next three hours, I’ll be…
Wasp’s train of thought was abruptly cut off as a large cream pie smashed into his face. Annoyed, he wiped the pie off with his magic and looked around. Somehow Shining Armor had found him and was chuckling to himself.
“You look like one of those black and white cookies with all that cream on you!” he shouted.
Wasp formed a gun in his hoof and pointed it at Shining.
“Let’s see you laugh with a bullet in your skull.”
Wasp told his gun to fire, expecting a loud bang. Instead, all he heard was a loud popping sound. A small flag had come out of his gun with “Bang” written on the sides with yellow.
As Shining fell on the grass laughing Wasp restored his leg and tried to muster his hatred.
But for some reason, he couldn’t, and this only added to his growing annoyance.
“Hey Wasp?” asked Shining in a collected tone. “Were you really trying to kill me with that bullet?”
“Relax buddy.” he said. “Was only trying to paralyze. Besides, I figured you would have blocked the bullet with your shield.”
“I guess that’s reassuring.” replied Shining.
“Believe it or not,” Wasp said calmly. “I only kill for real when it’s either asked of me, or if I find there is no other way. I guess it’s another flaw I inherited from you. I like fighting, but not killing. I’ve been that way ever since I got my cutie mark, after I stabbed some random solder in throat for the first time.”
“I can’t approve of what you may have done in the past,” said Shining reassuringly. “But we all do things we’re not always proud of. I’m actually very relieved to hear you say that killing ponies doesn’t give you joy. That shows that you’re not just a drone that can’t think or feel for himself. You really are more like a pony than I previously thought.”
Wasp saw Shining’s eyes start to tear a little, but he could tell by the movement of his head that he was trying to mask them.
“I’m sorry for what your mother has done to you and your siblings. You literally can’t see how pony-like you really are.”
“That’s where you're wrong!” cried Wasp. “The reason Chrysalis made us in the first place was so we could blend in better and think strategically. Most of us live in Equestria amongst all the ponies, and we partake in your life style. Helps us get to know the enemy, and help us plan for when we are ready to attack again. So yeah, we all know that we’re like ponies, but we are taught to not to put pony emotions above the hive. Heck, most of my short childhood was spent drilling that into me.”
“I’m guessing changeling age faster than ponies?” asked Shining.
“Yeah, but once we reach adulthood we age normally. In fact, even a normal drone could live as long as most unicorns. Due to my case, I may live a little bit longer, but I’m technically only sixteen in pony years. In about six months I’ll have the mind and body of an eighteen year old. Not that it matters. I’ve already gotten laid plenty of times by donning older forms and I’ve only just started doing that.”
“Wait.” said Shining. “How old are you really?”
“Your anniversary was three months ago, and if I’m not mistaken, I was born two weeks after your wedding.”
“So your’re only one year old and you've already hooked up with other ponies?” laughed Shining. “I don’t know, you're going have a hard time with the law on that one.”
“Hey.” Wasp cuckled softly. “My situation is very... unique.”
Just then, Surprise popped out of the ground alongside a volcanic eruption of confetti.
Wasp cursed himself, but deep down he wasn’t feeling that bad.
He turned to Shining, “You caught me off guard. Don’t think this means anything.”
Shining smiled before before something dawned on him. “Whoh? Wait a minute. Were we just actually laughing together?” His eyes brightened as his face lit up like a Hearths Warming tree. “We did it, didn’t we?”
“You sure did!” cheered Surprise. “And in record time too. The trial only started twenty minutes ago and you guys barely went in any of my rooms. There was a Star Wars themed room, evil G3 Scootaloo, ponified Christopher Walken, and you guys don’t know what I’m talking about do you? When don’t feel bad ‘cause even my brothers and sister don’t know what I’m talking about sometimes. Truth think’s I need to stop drinking, but after that incident in Valhalla I don’t think he has the right to judge.”
Shining laughed, recalling the story Grace told him about back in her realm.
“Anyways,” she continued, “You are now an honorary bearer of Laughter, second only to Pinkie Pie. So long as you don’t lose hope, a part of me will be with you until the day you die. As for your gift, you will now be able bend reality slightly, but only when it’s funny. Basically I turned you into Roger Rabbit.”
“Who?” asked Shining.
“Uh, forget it.” Surprise facehoofed herself, but quickly got her perky composure back. “Anyways, you also get a bonus since you completed three trials. Just open that chest over there.”
Shining turned to a small brown chest. He levitated the the top upward and was blinded by a green light followed by more strange music. Ignoring it, he lifted the object up from out of the chest and lifted it up in the air just as the music had finished. A blue text box flashed before him saying:
You got the Harmony Map, this will show you where two of the remaining gems are located. That should make your quest a little bit easier. Press A
“Awesome.” replied Shining. “Thank you so much Surprise. Also, thanks for healing me from before. I don’t feel any more pain from all that torture.”
“Unfortunately, that will return once you and Wasp go back home. I’ll see you guys at the climax.”
“What?” replied Wasp and Shining in unison.
She sighed. “You’ll see.” she said as the room began to fade.
--------
When Shining woke up, everything was back to normal. His body still felt sore, the gem on his hoof was just a gem, and Wasp was on the other side of the bars. The only thing that was different was the map that laid before him on the ground.
Wasp stood up like he had just woken up from a groggy night’s sleep. He saw the map and pointed a hoof at Shining.
“Hand it over!” he said.
Something in the back of Shinings head told him to fold up the map. Using his magic, he folded it up until it was smaller than the palm of his hoof. Shining then placed his hoof on top of the paper and when he removed it the map was gone.
“Where did the map go?” asked Wasp.
Shining just smiled. “What map? I don’t see one.”
“Dammit. Mom should have realised that you would only become stronger with each trial you pass. Now I can’t prove if there even was a map.”
“Was there a map?” Shining teased as he leaned forward and raised his eyebrows. “All I remember is us having an awesome father-and-son-time together.
“I’ve had enough of you!” yelled Wasp. “I can’t take this anymore! I’m leaving my post. I don’t even care if Mom yells at me.”
“Is that what a true changeling would do?” chimed Shining.
Wasp didn’t answer; he just left with a disgruntled look on his face.
When the coast was clear, Shining brought a hoof to his horn and closed his eyes. Instinctually, he brought his hoof gently against his head as if he was trying to get water out of his ear. He felt something leave his ear followed by a clanking sound. He turned to look at what had come out. On the floor rested two objects: one of them was the map, the other a small brace that looked like it belonged on somepony’s horn.
“I have no idea how I just did that.” said Shining. “This might explain some of how Pinkie Pie is able to do some of the things Twilight tells me she can do. At least now I know I can perform magic without using my horn, though I’d much rather keep things down to earth if I can. Using this gift makes me feel weird.”
Shining turned around and shot a simple unlock spell on the cell door. He picked up the gem and map and put them in his ear, which he guessed had become some kind of weird pocket space. Doubting he could ever understand this particular gift, he stealthily trotted out of the cell in hopes of finding the Dining Room. Hopefully, he could escape before Twilight and the others put themselves in danger on his behalf.
"I'll murder all you held dear!!!"
.........chrysalis, you only beat Celestia because the roof would have collapsed and you got a tmeporary power boost. Cadance is probably as powerful, if not more so, than you, if she had more bit to her. Who knows what Luna is capable of with her night magic. And Twilight beat the green viscus compound out of you when she was sitll a unicorn..................
your threat rigns hollow.
Wow... not to kill it but when a character breaks the 4th wall, one wants them to know that they are being watched, not interact with them because not everyone is the same. You based it off to yourself and not the reader. The shows, the telling of future chapters are fine but it is best not to interact with them.
If you plan to continue this more, try changing it. For real good chapter or better character development when it comes to the 4th wall, id suggest you try reading how others have done it. (MOST notably the Deadpool comics. The way the writer has Deadpool interact with his environment even though he knows he is in a comic book and not towards the reader but rather tells him how or why he is doing to the reader is best)
Again this is call suggestions.
Oh, man. That was a great laugh.
Ok, now that I can breathe again, I have to say that this was a very nice breather in between the impossible situation you cooked up for shining armor. Though I think Wasp had a point when crysalis should have realized that the more trials Shining Armor does, the easier it will be for him to use their gifts to his advantage.
Still, it's a little weird the work you're doing with wasp. Not so much that it's bad to have the "changling with the heart of a pony" idea in the story, but sometimes the way you're developing him seems a bit...quick I guess. I just think we need a little bit more time to know him as a character before getting his potential as a good sentient across.
That being said, I found it a tad odd that you took time to name AJ's spirit Truth, Shy's spirit grace, and you named Pinkie's spirit....Surprise. Really? Surprise? Not something like Hope, Perspective or Happiness, but just Surprise? That..that's a little lazy. I suppose it could be some joke about how coming from the first reality warper who knows she's based on a g1 character who knows they're in a fanfic this might make some sense, but it still feels a little lazy.
Oh, but one twist I really liked? That surprise came down to the two of them rather than father and son going out to her. Oh, and the references. The references. I could see that's so raven, aladdin, Saw, Max Payne, The Looney Tunes, classic clown routines, the legend of zelda, and even a bit of superhero references with the 5th dimension being surprise's realm. Though, I have to say, really? The thing that got Shining and Wasp laughing together was a sex joke? Kinda immature, wouldn't you say? Or is that mature? sometimes it's so hard to tell with those jokes.
That being said, this still was a really funny chapter, and now it's time for Shining to have his own elements of harmony crew as they escape from castle crysalis. And...hold on a second. are you taking story shortcuts? I mean, we didn't have any indication that twilight's group was coming to rescue him. You better show them coming as part of princess twilight's secret rescue effort, or you've already broken the key property of storytelling: show don't tell. Surprise doing it is..acceptable because of who she is, but next chapter better have something that can reassure for the readers that you're not pulling a deus ex machina that isn't acceptable (the gems are perfectly acceptable, but twilight's groups shouldn't be made too out of the blue due to their temporal origin).
And it appears that the spirits of harmony are gonna show up for the finale. Well, with the magic map, at least Shining will know where to go for now.
Actually, even though I'm sure this is spoilers, I think I know what shining armor's one wish is going to be. What he wanted was to be there for twilight and cadence forever, but what he feared was that he would be forgotten in the end. Thus, when it comes time for his wish, he will make a wish that is broad enough it could be used in any manner, but sharp enough to get across what he really wants, especially since I suspect that he'll be in battle when he gets the wish.
Shining Armor: "I wish that no matter what happens to me after this, Twiley and Cadence will remember me forever."
The Creator: "You have chosen...interestingly." (and then once shining dies fighting after it all, cue his ascension so that he would indeed be with them together and be remembered forever.)
Anyways, despite my complaints, this was still a fun chapter to read. Now, onto the jailbreak!
Oh, and the lines about shining seeing that he was in a fanfic, brilliant. Is it torture to drag a character around like this? Is this what happens when authors get too much time on their hand. Oh well. Was that line from cadence a reference to once upon a time?
Shining Armor, use your latest power and... Break every freaking wall you can find!!! you are compelled to do it... The only way it can happen.
This chapter broke my brain. Nice using Surprise, though.
I felt the ness was too much for me in the chapter despite the absence of Pinkie Pie. Still, it will be great to see where things go to from here.
That last part was solid gold. Or platinum. Or silver. Crap. I don't know. It was good.
Heh, so Shinning is going to be a little silly from now on, which gives him freacky fourth wall breaking abilities... THAT'S AWSOME!
I laughed so hard!
I did find the wall breaking to be annoying, but only because it wasn't actually important to the plot. I would have preferred the test be around him choosing to be encouraged by the fact that he was a story, but I assume you're going to do something with Wasp
3790454 He can only break one wall in most rooms though! And if he ever gets in a room shaped like a triangle...
Wait, I just thought about something, mainly in the order we've been in. The first gem was honesty, the second was kindness, and now the third is laughter...are we going in the order of how the bearers got theirs?
Anyway, this chapter was hilarious!
3791284 Yeah, nice catch. I actually didn't realize it with the first two but decided to keep the pattern going.
3791339 But wait, Laughter was first, then Truth then kindness... To be in the order the elements got theirs it would of had to been Laughter first, not Truth.
Not very fond of 4th wall breaks...
But it wasnt tooo bad... Still...
Damn, we missed that?!
3791415 No, I'm pretty sure Apple Jack saved Twilight first, then Flutteryshy with the Manticore, then Pinkie's song.
MORE!
3791133
3791419
It looks like a hit and miss chapter, but I guess it could have been worse. The thing about 4th wall bearing is that if not done wright, it can break the immersion of the story. This will be the only chapter like this, even when Surprise does come back I'll be sure to tone her down a bit because it would literally ruin that part of the story.
3791691 I could, of course, just be remembering wrong.
As one of those ponies that point spelling errors.
When don’t feel bad cause even my brothers and sister don’t know what I’m talking about sometimes "Should be" Well don’t feel bad cause even my brothers and sister don’t know what I’m talking about sometimes
Hilarious !!!
3792961 u r, the first Trial was the crumbling cliff where Applejack saved Twilight by telling her to let go, the second was the Manticore which Fluttershy showed Kindness to, then Pinkie, then Rarity, and finally Rainbow...
I like the zelda refrences but the chest sound could gave been from a more modern game like skyward sword or twilight princess.
...Brilliant. That is all I have to say.
As always, I look forward to the next chapter.
~ Super-Brony12
I got the Zelda and Mortal Kombat references but nothing from Max Payne...
3796964 Here the particular seen I referenced
Ahh, the Valkyr drug reference. Funny as hell, and the funniest I could think of.. :D
It's GLORIOUS!!!
I love fourth-wall breaking!
This chapter hurt my brain.
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/14/4f/13/144f13a1ab934bb764a9ef4b697c288a.jpg
I'm willing to bet that at least 66% of the readers don't know who the spirit of Laughter is... Very clever, too, in my opinion.
Also:
So... th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/092/c/4/scootallo_is_best_chicken__by_b_neko-d4urx3w.png
But evil?
*Runs for the hills*
5543148
Shhhhhsh, it's supposed to be a Surprise!
5543148
BY LUNAS BEARD WHAT IS THAT THING, BURN IT WITH FIRE.