"Sir, we've arrived at Canterlot Station." said the steward pony. "You need to get off before this train leaves for Appleoosa."
Shining stretched out his forelegs and let out a loud yawn as he slowly opened his eyes. He turned to the steward and thanked him.
"Don't mention it." replied the steward. "You don't know how many ponies oversleep and miss their stops. It happens more often than you would think, I can tell you that."
Shining Armor groggily nodded as he slowly got up from his seat and headed towards the exit.
"Wait, sir!" shouted the steward. "You forgot your saddlebag and books!"
With a sigh, Shining levitated all of his books into his saddlebag and strapped it tightly around his body. With his possessions secure, he made his way off the train and onto the platform.
Despite the fact that it was eight o'clock in the morning, the train station was almost completely empty, except for four ponies. This was most likely due the fact that the next stop was at some frontier town called Appleloosa. This worked to Shining Armor’s advantage: Having lived in Canterlot for most of his life as well as being the former guard captain, the chances of him getting recognised were high. Even with the cloak covering most of his features, he knew that he really did stick out in the crowd.
“Just stay calm,” He told himself in his head: “Luna said that she wouldn't meet with me ‘till later tonight. That means I have about twelve hours to kill. I have a lot of time on my hooves, but as long as I keep my head down, no pony should recognize—
"Captain... I mean, Prince Shining Armor!" called a voice from the far end of the platform. "Over here!"
"Ponyfeathers.” he muttered. “They got me. Luna must have ratted me out. That, or my disguise was just plain terrible... probably the latter.”
Shining Armor turned around, expecting to come face-to-face with a battalion of guards. To his surprise, the only one behind him was a lone pony with a brown cloak, with his hood draped down. He was standing at the far edge of the platform. Cautiously, Shining Armor made his way towards the mysterious pony that had called his name.
He was a gray coated stallion with a silver mane. His eyes were bright yellow with dragon like slits, and his ears were slightly disfigured.
"Who are you," asked Shining, "and how did you know it was me?"
The guard chuckled. "The princess told me you’d be wearing that silly black robe. That, and you’re the only pony who departed from that train. Anyway, where are my manners?"
He extended his right hoof. "I'm Shadow Wing, Princess Luna's most trusted protector and captain of her royal guard. I'm here to escort you to the Princess’ private residence on the outskirts of the city."
Shining Armor lifted his own hoof to shake Shadow's. "It's nice to meet you, Shadow. Are you a Pegasus? I can't tell because of that silly brown cloak."
Shadow chuckled. "Payback I see. Yes, as the the name 'Shadow Wing' would entail, I am a Pegasus pony of the sorts. However, we lunar pegasi are a dying breed, so to speak. We have certain 'features' that tend to startle most ponies. We have met a few times, during captain meetings with the Princesses.”
That’s right. He’s that cloaked pony I met every fall. I wonder why he kept his appearance hid from me. Perhaps he was nervous? It has been a thousand years since the Lunar Guard was disbanded. Since their reformation after the Nightmare Moon incident three and a half years ago, I haven’t seen a single pegasus in their ranks. I did hear some rumors about bat-ponies, but those can’t be true, right? I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
“Now that you mention it, your voice does sound familiar. You wore that same cloak to every meeting.”
He chuckled, before looking around and turning back to Shining. “It’s a great honor for me to remake your acquaintance, but we must go before the station gets too crowded. My lieutenant is waiting for us by the chariot in a secluded courtyard not far from here. Follow me."
With their hoods both raised over their heads, the two ponies made their way through the streets of Canterlot. As they trotted along the roads of the city, they made sure not to make eye contact with anypony. After a few minutes, they made it out of the city into an empty courtyard where a dark purple and blue chariot was waiting for them. Next to the chariot was another grey stallion wearing a similar brown cloak.
"Captain Shadow Wing." said the stallion. “I see you have returned with our guest.”
Shadow turned his head towards Shining Armor. “This is Lieutenant Night Fang. I'm afraid that will have to do for acquaintances for now. Right now, this courtyard is empty, but it will be filled with ponies in a few hours. If you would please step into to the carriage, we will gladly fly you to the Princess’ private castle."
"But before we do that," said Shadow Wing to Shining Armor, “I need you to hold onto our robes so that we may spread our wings.”
"No problem, just take ‘em off and I'll make sure they don't fall off during the ride."
The two guards looked at each other, nodded, and began to remove their cloaks. Once removed, Shining Armor watched as the two guards stretched out their enormous bat wings. While Shining Armor had never seen ponies like this before, he had certainly heard of them. His division seldom worked alongside Luna’s night guards. In his career as captain, he had seen plenty of lunar unicorns, but never any pegasi. His men would tell stories of bat-like ponies called “thestrals” that secretly protected Princess Luna. Of course up until now, he never believed the stories.
"Whoa, you weren't kidding when you said you weren't like most pegasi."
Shadow laughed. "I believe you are the first pony not to be immediately frightened by our wings. As you can guess, most ponies are absolutely terrified of us. Of course, it does make our job of protecting the princess a lot easier. Still, it can get kind of tiresome to have ponies scream in fear whenever we aren't covering our wings. That's why most of our kind live in Hollow Shades, just east of Foal Mountain. It’s a beautiful town, especially during the spring."
"Well, my journey will probably take me all across the Equestria. If fate allows, I would love to visit your town someday."
"That is awfully kind of you," replied Shadow, "but we must depart now before ponies begin to flood the courtyard."
With his magic, Shining Armor lifted the cloaks of his escorts and placed them in the carriage, then he hoisted himself up and placed his flank firmly on the seat. After he was settled in, Fang and Shadow flapped their powerful wings and began to pull the carriage skyward in the direction of Luna's private castle.
------
It was midday when Luna's castle came into view near the base of Foal Mountain. The old gothic castle was perched on a forty-foot cliff with no direct path., which meant that only creatures of flight could ever hope to reach its summit. The castle reflected Luna's love for the night: The architecture looked like something a pony would see in a black and white vampony or Frankinstallion film. Despite it's creepy nature, there was also a surreal sense of beauty in it's design.
Shining stared in awe as the chariot started to descend.
"This is amazing. Why wasn't I told about this place back when I was Captain?"
"The Princess of the Night enjoys her privacy." replied Shadow. “ While she spends most of her time in Canterlot at night, she will often come here during the day to rest. Right now she is trying to get your artifact from the Canterlot Castle treasury. When we land, we'll help ourselves to some lunch and then give you the grand tour of the castle."
The chariot landed outside the front entrance and the two guards removed their harnesses. Shining Armor stepped out of the chariot and the three ponies made their way inside.
------
After an uneventful lunch in the castle dining hall consisting of roasted vegetables, Shining Armor was given a basic tour of the castle. The guards were very selective about which rooms they visited. Despite how small the castle looked compared to Celestia's, there was plenty of space to explore. The decor complemented the gothic architecture of the castle, with many of the rooms having eerie paintings of old wizards and guardponies. At one point, Shining swore that one of the paintings was watching him.
When the sun had finally set, the three ponies made their way back to the grand hall to greet Luna. From the top of the grand staircase, they witnessed a bright flash of light as the princess teleported into existence. As Luna cantered up the red carpet which covered the staircase, the three ponies bowed before her.
When she was finally up the steps, Shining lifted his head to speak.
"It's nice to finally speak with you in the flesh, Luna."
"The same can be said of you." Luna said. "I hope my guards were courteous during my absence."
"We were, your Majesty." replied Night Fang.
Luna nodded and turned to face Shining Armor. "It wasn't easy, but I managed to acquire the gem and replace it with a fake one. It is almost a perfect replica. While it saddens me to be so deceptive, I did make you a promise.”
Luna's horn lit up and a bright orange gem appeared and floated before him.
"Let us make our way to my meditation chamber. I want the two of you to stand guard over the door once we enter. If I am to assist Shining Armor, I will need full concentration. If anything should happen, do not enter the room unless I call. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Princess." the two guards said in unison.
"Very well. Follow me, my dear nephew in-law. Let us see if you are worthy of the gems."
Shining and the guards followed Luna through the castle’s many hallways until they came to a large door. Luna opened the door with her magic and she and Shining Armor stepped inside, while two guards remained behind, watchful for any trespassers.
The room was completely round and had no furniture. A small hole in the ceiling allowed in the moonlight to pour into room.
Luna instructed Shining to sit down on the opposite side the of the room, adjacent to her. As he trotted to the other end, Luna passed the gem to Shining, who took it in his magical grip.
"When you are ready, hold the gem in your hoof and say these words: “Spirit of Harmony, lend me your veracity."
Shining got himself into position. As the gem floated in between his eyes, he looked forward at Luna, as if waiting for her permission.
"Go on." she said in a soft voice.
Shining Armor took a deep breath. Twilly, Cadence, Crystal. Soon, you will never have to fear my passing.
Shining Armor lifted his right hoof and let the gem gently lower onto the end of his hoof. He closed his eyes and recited the calling.
"Spirit of Harmony, lend me your veracity."
Shining Armor opened his eyes to find that the gem was radiating a bright orange light. As the intensity of the light lessened and his eyes adjusted, he made out the image of an orange apparition which now stood in the center of the room.
At first glance, the apparition looked a lot like Twilight's friend Applejack. As the pony appearance began to become clearer, however, Shining could make out the shape of a large horn on the figures head. Also, unlike Applejack, the pony’s cutie mark was a pair of shaking hooves, which he assumed symbolized trust. Judging from it’s broad and muscular body, it was clear to Shining that the spirit before him was a stallion. Soon, the apparition began to lose it's transparency. Only after he fully materialized did the stallion speak.
"I am Truth, the Spirit of Honesty." His voice was strong, yet soothing, as he spoke.
He turned away from Shining Armor and focused his gaze on Luna.
"I wasn't expecting to ever see you again, Luna, at least outside of Applejack or the necklace. After you embraced the darkness, I was cast out of your soul. When this happened, my entire being was overcome with pain. Your father is very disappointed in your fall from grace, but he is happy that harmony is slowly but surely coming back into your heart. I look forward to the day when you may become worthy to harbor my being once again, but as I look at you now, I see that you're not as honest as you used to be. Such a pity."
Shining Armor watched as Luna stood up and glared. "I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you. When the darkness showed me how happy ponies were during the day, I became consumed with envy. For months I tried to move on, to let everything go, but in the end my jealously towards my beloved big sister became too much. I cast you out of my heart, and for that I am sorry. You have every right to be mad at me, but an old friend and I would like to ask a favor of you."
"Does it have anything to do with the pony who summoned me?"
"Yes." replied Luna. "Somepony claiming to be my sister Gaia has invaded his head as the Nightmare Forces did mine all those years ago. Whether it’s really her or not, I can not tell. When I lost you, I lost the power to see through deception. Regardless, whoever has entered tempted him into seeking the power of the scepter in spite of the risks associated with doing so. He is married to my niece, the only known relative of my late sister. As a former Bearer of Honesty, I am asking you to return his soul to the realm of the living should he fail your trial."
"Well, it has been a while since anypony has tried to seek my power, so I shall grant your request. You are lucky, Luna. I'm not sure even my sister Charity would grant this request. But, you and I do go along way back... Though I may never fully forgive you for what you have done, this is the least I could do to show you how much you meant to me."
"Thank you, Truth." replied Luna as a tear rolled down her face. "I hope that someday I can earn your trust back. Before you go, there is something I need to know. What has become of Gaia?"
Truth smiled. “Though she she was forced to leave her physical body, her soul is still very much active in this world. It was and still is her responsibility to make sure this planet orbits around Celestia’s sun. She has become one with the earth and soil, just as me and my siblings are one with the elements. Whenever Applejack walks into the orchards, I can feel her presence preserving the trees.”
A warm smile appeared on Luna’s face has she let out a long sigh of relief that she had been holding for centuries. She closed her eyes knowing that her sister wasn't was far away as she originally thought.
Luna opened her eyes. “Thank you for telling me this. You’ve helped to ease one of my oldest wounds. However, it is he who needs your help more than I do.”
Truth turned his head to Shining Armor. "Young Champion, let me evaluate your past to see how honest your life has been up to this point.”
Truth's horn began to glow as he peered into Shining Armor's very soul. Every truth and every fib he had ever told from foalhood up until now became known to the spirit.
"You have lived a mostly honest life up until just recently, Mr. Armor. Though you did eventually tell your wife the truth about your dream, you left out many of the more interesting details."
He pouted. "I didn't want to make her worried."
"Justification for your fibs will not help you tame my power, Mr. Armor. Now that I have peered into your past, I have only one question to ask you."
"What is that?"
Truth let out a small grin. "Are you ready to begin? Be warned, though I cannot take your life should you fail, but the pain you will experience will be just as devastating. Everything worth fighting for comes at a risk. Are you willing to face mortal danger in order to see your wish come true?"
Shining Armor nodded.
Truth gave him a wide smile. There was a bright flash of light that caused Luna to shield her eyes. When she opened them again, Truth was gone and Shining Armor's body laid on the floor like a corpse.
------
Shining Armor opened his eyes to find that he was standing on a floating orange platform. The area around him was void of anything. His body was surrounded by sharp, floating spears that orbited around him like a planet. In front of him, on the opposite platform, stood Truth, his eyes full of judgement gazing down upon him.
"I am going to ask you three questions. Should you answer untruthfully for any reason, these spears will tear your soul to shreds. Though your soul will return to your body, you will wake up on the verge of death. Luna will probably be able to heal you. However, the damage done here will most likely cripple you for life. I'll give you one more chance to give up and return to Cadence, but I'm guessing you're not going to, are you?”
"Does that count as a question?" Shining smiled cheekily at his own joke. Truth, however, didn’t even bat an eye.
"No, it does not."
"Either way, the answer is no. I can, and will, do this."
"Very well, first question. Do you think putting your life on the line to obtain immortality is a selfless act?
"No, I do not. I believe it's selfish."
Truths eyes went wide open. "Funny, that's not what you've been telling Luna. Or yourself, for that matter."
"Deep down, I know what I am doing is more for my benefit than theirs, but I've come too far to stop."
He heard strange sound from behind him. One of the spears flew past him and grazed a small part of his mane. It happened so fast that he didn’t even have time to react. When he finally realized what happened, his heart skipped a beat. He winced in pain as a small trickle of blood dripped from his face.
Truth stared down at him with a blank expression on his face “That last part isn't entirely true, I’m afraid, but your courage to admit your selfish actions has brought you one step closer to your goal. But the questions are only going to get more personal from here. Question two. Have you abandoned Cadance?"
Shining Armor glared at Truth with fiery intensity.
"No, I have not. I intend to succeed and return to her side as soon as this is all over."
One of the spears started to shake slightly.
"Are you sure that's how you really feel?"
"No, but it's the truth nonetheless. I feel like I have betrayed her, but I have not abandoned her. I will return to her."
As the spear stopped moving, Truth’s eyes grew wide.
"You are good Mr. Armor. You’re very good. Normally, ponies start to lie out of shame at these questions, while others let their regrets take over. But so far, you have spoken your regrets while maintaining some stance of nobility. I'm impressed. But I'm afraid this is where most adventurers falter. Final question!
Truth took a deep breath and stared at Shining.
“On Twilight’s coronation day, did you cry out of jealousy or pride?”
Gaia’s comments about him began to flood into his mind.
Both Twilight, Cadence, and the child she’s currently pregnant with will live forever and be worshipped by all. If I was a mortal, I know I would be jealous. Isn't that why you cried during her coronation?”
It’s not a claim. It’s the truth
Shining Armor closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.
Was Gaia right? If I don't answer this question correctly, it's all over. I'll go back to Cadence as a crippled pony. I can't let that happen.
That’s when Shining remembered something.
If the real Gaia has become one with the Earth, than she couldn’t have been trapped in the Crystal Heart. But if that’s not her, then who the hell was that? And even if that wasn’t the real Gaia, it doesn’t mean that she was partially right.
I'm not going to let some ghost... thing tell me how I feel. On the other hoof, she was right. A part of me is jealous of Twilight. But who wouldn’t be jealous of their sister after all they have accomplished? I know the answer. I just need to have confidence in myself, because every fiber of my body is telling me this is the truth.
Shining Armor opened his eyes with new found confidence and looked Truth directly in the eyes. Everything was riding on this. If he was to succeed, he had to believe in himself. After all, how could anyone believe what he says if he himself didn't believe it from the bottom of his heart.
"They were tears of pride. More specifically, liquid pride. Any part of me that was jealous of Twilight was pushed aside by the love I have for my sister. Ever since she was a foal, I have watched her grow and accomplish so much. From learning how to fly a kite, to becoming Celestia's first and only pupil, to defeating Nightmare Moon, to becoming an alicorn, I couldn't be any more proud of her."
By this point tears were flowing down Shining's face like a waterfall. Truth was baffled. After two thousand years, few ponies have spoke so truthfully to him before. Could he really be the one?
Suddenly the spears around Shining began to melt into light and vanish. Truth lifted two of his hooves and clapped.
"Congratulations Prince Shining Armor, you have proven yourself worthy of my power. From now on, a part of my soul shall reside within you. You will also now be able to see through the deception and lies of others. I hope that you will continue your quest and prove your worth to my siblings. Although I must remain here in this realm, know that I shall live in part of you so long as you remain honest. Farewell, Shining Armor. Once the scepter is made whole, you will see me again."
With that, the room once again became bright white .
-------
Shining Armor opened his eyes to see Luna watching him intently. His body felt cold from resting on the hard stone floor. He felt odd, after having his soul teleported to another dimension, but at the same time he felt accomplished and triumphant.
"We don't see any scars or scratches." inquired Luna. "So we takest that thou were successful?"
"Just barely," replied Shining with a sheepish smile.
Luna expression shifted. “Although you succeeded, you still need to head back to the Crystal Empire.”
Shining opened his mouth to protest, but he was abruptly cut off.
“The mare from your dreams was not my sister. Truth himself stated that she has become one with planet, yet the Gaia from your dreams said that she was trapped in the Crystal Heart. I think this goes without saying, but the Spirit of Honesty doesn’t lie. I'm happy that you are the first mortal to pass a trial, but it was bound to happen eventually. You can easily fail the others, though. Please, for Cadence’s sake, for your sister’s sake, for my sake, turn back while you still can. Should you fail, I fear the worst for this land."
Shining shook his head at Luna and moved his right hoof forward as if to challenge her.
"I'm in no rush to get the gems just yet. This trial made me realize that I really need to get my priorities straight. I know that somepony pretending to be Gaia invaded my dreams in order to push me into this quest. However, we don’t know who was behind the facade, or what it’s goal is. I’m still going after the gems, but I’m not going to let my fears cloud my judgment anymore. I need to ask you one more favor."
"If it involves any more secret keeping, I'm out. Who knows how long it will take for Truth to accept me again?"
"It's nothing like that. I was hoping you could to get me into Cadence's dreams, so that I can talk to her."
A light smile crept over Luna's face.
"I think I can arrange that. Follow me to the guest chambers."
Dude... Your editors missed a lot. Like... A lot! Extra quotations, lower case I's, improper dialogue punctuation, awkward moments.
Once more, this is a story that needs to be told. So, I'll tell you what: I'm gonna hook you up. If you'll let me, I'll get one on the best editors in the fandom to look at your next chapter. Golden Vision is the most boss editor out there. Hell, he taught ME how to write!
So, if you want, type up the next chapter in Google Docs, open it to comments, and PM the link to me. I'll talk to GV, and get him to look at it. He doesn't do editing except for people he knows, but he'd do it as a favor.
Again, you have an amazing premise, and a solid start, but little grammar derps and some awkward storytelling is holding you back. I want to see this story where it should be: top row of the feature box. I'm not insulting you, just trying to help an author, and story, with potential to be the best he can.
That's it! I'm done! I'm taking my star and getting out of here before anything gets too damaged. Normally, I'd point out what's wrong, kinda like how normally question marks are put at the end of questions. But hey, you can't have everything, huh?
2261189 Thanks Jake. If your think he can help, I'll give him a PM when I start writing part 4.
2261219
I do. I'll talk to him. You got good instincts, just need some temperance.
"Does that count as a question?"
"No it does not." It was worth a shot
Joking aside, I like this story. It's true, despite all of Shining's accomplishments he really does get overshadowed by his sister. You also did a nice job with the stakes, even as a "safe" test. It will be interesting to see what the other tests will be. There were a few errors, mostly in the spirit's paragraphs explaining things to Shining about his answers but no one is perfect. I am excited but offer caution. I kind of see kindness, generosity, and loyalty overlapping as far as how important this is in relation to what he is making Cadence and the others feel and if he should give up the quest. I liked the trial though and you did a nice job. Keep it up and I await the next chapter.
That group that Dash Attack is talking about?
Right here.
Join if you wish.
2261189 XD Thanks! I was going to say the same thing (or at least similar).
I mean, farwell instead of farewell? Who knows how long it will take for Truth to EXCEPT me again? REALLY? I'm sorry, but that was just painful to read. Glad to see you're going to take his advice, though, so thanks! I was afraid I'd have to drop this if it kept up! XD (Though for all of the 'new' people who will come along and read this later, you'll want someone to also go over your older chapters and get those errors fixed up as well.)
loving this story!!!.......I mean.......I rally like it
Shining better succeed.
The adventure this entails will bear fruit of views and favorites.
Now waiting for the emotional next chapter.
2261486 What's wrong with that sentence. The spirits of harmony are the embodiment's of the elements they represent. Luna was once a bearer of harmony, witch means the spirit Truth lived inside her. When she became NMM, she lost touch with her honest nature, causing Truth to be forcefully cast out form her being. This caused the spirit great pain, witch he clearly express to Luna in this chapter. It would make sense for her to want him back. I don't understand what's wrong with that statement. I don't think what I wrote was any cornier than anything we haven't seen on the show.
2261595 ... Alright. Forgive me if I sound at all rude, arrogant, or insulting as I answer, as it is not my intention. What I was trying to subtly point out was that it should be ACCEPT, not EXCEPT. Accept means to agree, to take or agree with. Except means... Sorry, I'm bad with explaining or describing. Like... OH! You write well, EXCEPT for your poor grammar. It's basically like a 'but this' statement. There wasn't anything wring with Luna's statement, just you wrote the wrong word. (Like write, right, and rite all SOUND the same, but they mean totally different things.)
So yeah. Sorry.
2261643 Alright, that's not a problem. I'll change fix it up. Thanks for pointing that out.
Oh God.
...What if Cadence has naughty dreams of another pony? And Shining drops in on this?
"RealCrazyRobloxian Likes This"
greenbookblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Facebook-Like-Button-big.jpg
Like this story like it then post this pic on ur comment :P
2262489 Thank you good sir. Please take this mustache
And as a bonus, have this amazing picture I found wile browsing the web just now.
sadpanda.us/images/442003-LMMSEW2.jpg
Quoting the great and psychopath Kirby as he said it many times on Sonic for Hire," LOVE IT!"
wonderful job with the trial, so vivid narration, i could see everything as it was happening i love your story, you got me interested with the first two chapters, now you got me hooked
You've misspelled Shining in the blurb, you have it as Shinning.
" I can't tell because of that silly brown clock."
As awesome as the image of him carrying a brown clock around...
Frankinstalion ==> Frankinstallion
"he spoke. He spoke
He turned away"
Repetition
You mention that harmony resides in the bearers in one paragraph, but that Truth wasn't expecting to see Luna ever again, he would have seen her when Luna was blasted with the friendship ray due to his connection with Applejack.
"my jealously towards my beloved big sister"
Should be jealousy, extra space between beloved and big
Many More, but a good story.
Well that didn't take long to figure out who my favorite spirit is.
2265362 I will admit that I goofed up with Truth. Because he does exist within Applejack, he would have had a part in zapping her in the second episode. Maybe Truth didn't count that encounter because he was technically inside Applejack at the time. This is a real reunion.
Thanks for pointing out those error's. I'll fix them.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSapb644juoFv4cR-c6RQL31Mbtb2RRouhvGZaCYQF0jO5WeSkd
2262489
I feel like I've seen you on Youtube before.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/320/900/b22.png
There's something wrong with this...this...I don't even know what to call it. Still a good story..er..premise trying my best not to delete from my favorites but your really pushing my limit.
terrymarotta.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/love-them-typos.jpg
2269699 Tell me your critiques and I'll see how I can improve. The grammar is an on going issue that is being addressed. If there is anything story, dialogue, character, or plot wise that can be improved, please PM me.
A few things I have in mind about this chapter.
One, I'm not sure what to say about the whole first half about Shadow Wing and the Opliptera. I think you focused on them a little bit too much. You should only really focus on stuff like that if they're going to have a bigger part in the story later on. Are they? I don't know. If not, one would say this kind of dragged on.
I like the way you described Luna's castle, and making those references to gothic architecture and those gothic horror novels . On the other hoof, I don't get why Luna gets her own castle. I always thought she and Celestia shared the one in Canterlot. I don't think I've read any work that depicted her living in her own castle...
Anyway, the actual Trial part was brilliant I gotta say! I really like Truth, and I think the trial was fitting, I love how it was set up and how it took place in that new realm, and I think Shiny had some fitting thoughts as he was asked the questions.
I enjoyed this chapter overall. I tried to give as much insight as I could. I know you like that. I'll be awaiting the next chapter!
2271135 Thank you. I wouldn't be surprised if we do run into those two guards again. The reason I gave Luna her own castle was because there was no place safe for them to conduct the trial. Because Canterlot Castel is so big, it would make sense for her to spend most of her time their. However, I find it fitting of Luna to have her own private fortress for when she want's to be alone.
This story is really amazing. You have amazing grammar and English. The plot is very intriguing. (Did i spell that right?) I have seriously fallen in love with this fimfic. You sir, deserve all of my praise. Very good. *claps*
2287708 Thank you very much. I think your the first person to say my grammar is quote on quote 'amassing'. I'm acutely a dyslexic so spelling and grammar aren't my points. The trick is to to have a'lot of editors. I put a'lot of thought and effort into this story, and I'm happy to see that people are getting really into it.
Oh no... Cadance won't be happy...
Great Story: check!
Grammar/Spelling: needs work.
See me after class. =P
Faved & Watched, though, for now. Make sure to get this from 'rough draft' to 'final draft' and it'll stay that way!
the 'in fact' is pointless, and just makes this sound strange.
Six spears and only three questions? And none of them about Chrysalis, or his rather dangerous idea of throwing Cadence? A bit wasted potetial but a good chapter none the less. I really like your story so far.
watch them teleport into a nsfw dream involving princest.
Loli feel like your just saying that as a convenient excuse
"Tis a lie, thy bsckside is whole and un gobbled, thou un greatfull welp -princess luna
So the plot is more than Shining adventuring around Equestria hunting for the gems and completing there trials. We now have fake Gaia wanting him to do so for some reason.
Hmmmmmm. Perhaps an attempt to remove him from the Crystal Empire so whoever fake Gaia actually is will have an easier time conquering it? We shall see.
Cloak, I believe.
Huh, so there's a lot more to the Elements of Harmony than was originally assumed, eh?
And then there's this mysterious Gaia-imposter...
Interesting... interesting indeed...
Also, does Celestia have a private castle as well? We now know Luna has one (wich actually caught me by surprise), but there's no mention if Celestia also has one...
If Gaia is really in charge of rotating the planet around Celestia's sun then Celestia role of raising the sun is completely worthless. It's the rotation of the earth around the sun that gives the illusion of a rising and setting sun. I feel like there's so many other possibilities for an earth alicorn then simply making the planet spin around the sun.
Chapter seems rather rushed and abrupt, not really much in the terms of flavour to the story.
The fact that the wings alos terrify normal ponies is just wierd. A gryphon can walk down a street and no one will bat an eye. And their natural predators of horses! So for bat-ponies to be terrifying... yeah doesn't make much sense.
Either way, 100% unflinching truth is not very Harmonious. That is strict order, not harmony. Like, kids are told lies like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, and it adds magic and wonder to their world. Yet, those lies never hurt anyone. Not unless the truth is revealed too soon. Not to mention if someone trusts you to keep a secret, like say, preparing a surprise for a friend, you'll lie to said friend. Harmony and Friendship is more than unflinching truth.
6803946 While I can see your way of thinking, seeing a griffin walking down the street is like watching a horse walk down the street. Sure they look different from humans, but that's normal for them. Seeing a bat pony walk down the street is closer to seeing a person with no arms walk down the street. They aren't supposed to look that way, from the ponys' viewpoint anyways.