This story is a sequel to Archangel's Adventure
After helping defeat Nightmare Moon, Captain Archangel, the Element of Courage and new leader of the Equestrian Special Forces, is faced with a challenge his training could never prepare him for: living in Ponyville.
Remember, I am still new to this, so let me know what you think in the comments. I'm going to be mixing season one episodes with original adventures, all from the Captain's perspective. I may also be moving the stories around as ideas come to me.
Oh, and I own nothing.
Enjoy
Chapters (12)
Archangel?
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/079/d/4/Garrus_Vakarian_03_by_johntesh.jpg
Bitch please.
Anyway, onto the story itself, and, well, it's not too great. The writing's fine for the most part (apart from that wall of text; leave a space between paragraphs next time) but where it really falls down is in the concept. A seventh element of harmony just doesn't work, and having an OC as one just reeks of Gary Stu. I'm not too keen of you just putting this guy through the episodes in season one either, when you could be doing more original things with him instead.
In the end, I'd say this needs revising. Come up with an original story, and try to make us care about your character, since all we know right now is that he's the super awesome leader of the Equestrian Special Forces, who couldn't possibly have any weaknesses or flaws because he's too awesome for them.
2122259 Nothing more to say than him, smell awfully like a regular Gary Stu-ish story so far, with the the blend super main character saving the days on each chapters.
Ok first off I don't know what a 'Gary Stu' is, so how could I be copying it.
Second, yeah his name is Archangel, but I was not copying Mr. Vakarian's nickname, or at least not on purpose.
Third, all of these are my own ideas, so any parallels are purely accidental.
Finally, give me a little more time before you rip me apart, I'm new to this.
Thank you for your time
Make him...go hunting in the EV free forest
2218175
I think I might just do that.
Thanks for the idea
Are they all based on fallout New Vegas robots?
Yes, Tau is a Mister Handy, and Mu is a Securitron. I was trying to make Phi a Dalek but I didn't do a very good job.
Still, Nice job getting that right. Here have a
very good story so far.
can't wait for the next chapter.
Based off of this, I think you've done a good job showing guardians personality.
A One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater
A creeper
3151104
no it's a two-eyed, no horned, terrestrial, green gunpowder eater
Close though
3151397
Correct
Badass creeper
an even more badass creeper
2122259
i'm not sure about that image it looks more like an alien wearing blue Armour than a human cyborg.