//------------------------------// // A Hard Lesson // Story: Archangel's New Assignment // by SabreXio //------------------------------// "I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING IN MY PATH!!!" "Stand down Eighty-Six that's an order" I commanded "I DON'T NEED YOU'RE..." The A.I. powered down. "Thank you Guardian" I said "I do not understand why you continue to run the same tests" "Because, it's the only part of this mech I can't get working right" I said "But I will get it to work" I turned back to the controls. "Let's try the moral-practical reasoning test" "Bringing the A.I. back online" Guardian said as the A.I.'s lights came back on "TI-86, can you hear me?" I asked "What do you want?" the gruff voice replied "Tell me Eighty-Six, what do you think of our new commander?" "You mean that girly horse thing?" it asked "Yes, Princess Celestia" "I think that thing is a pitiful excuse for a leader" it replied curtly "Oh? And why is that?" "Because she has unlimited power, and yet she doesn't have the nerve to make ALL of this worthless world her playground" it said with a sadistic laugh. "That is because, unlike you, she can draw fulfillment from something other than the roar of a Gatling gun" "And what's wrong with that?" "Do you not find any fulfillment at all in protecting those who can not protect themselves?" Guardian asked The voice sighed "Of course you would ask that you pitifully servile excuse for an android" "Just answer the question" "If it can't defend itself, why should we risk out servos to prolong its worthless existence?" "If the ponies were all capable of defending themselves adequately, then we would have no use for a sadistic, overly hostile, and obnoxiously overbearing pile of outdated malware such as yourself" The A.I. couldn't even speak. I just looked back to my assistant, who hadn't even flinched from his butler-like pose. Then the A.I. started laughing. "Looks like someone's got bigger ball bearings then I thought" "[Sigh] Guardian reset for cognitive-" "Why do you keep resetting me?" it asked "Because we can't figure out why you're so damn hostile" "Why don't you power this thing all the way up and I can show you" I heard a knocking at the door. "Captain? Are you in there?" I opened the door, and Twilight stepped in. "Oh, hi Twilight" I said "What can I do for you" "Princess Celestia just sent this" she said as she levitated a scroll to me "Ah, that must be about the order for scrap metal I placed" I said as I scanned the letter "Metal?" "Yep, a half ton of copper, steel, tin, lead and silver" "Why would you need that much metal" "You horses clearly have no idea how much raw material goes into a mechanized army" TI-86 said Twilight looked around, trying to find the source of the new voice "Oh sorry, let me introduce you. Twilight this is TI-86" I said as I pointed to the massive mech standing by the back wall. This model of mech, apply named the 'Titan', was specifically designed to be the Cadillac of combat robots. Every part was designed to be huge and indestructible. "And TI-86, this is Twilight Sparkle" "A pleasure to meet you Mr. Eighty-Six" "Oh goody, a unicorn" he scoffed "Do you shit butterflies too?" Twilight's jaw dropped and she looked at me for an explanation "I'd be careful 86, that's Celestia's personal student you're talking to" I cautioned "One letter to the Princess and you're scrap metal" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry Ms. Sparkle, I don't know what came over me" he replied in an uncharacteristically civil tone "Wait, what?" I asked intrigued "So, does that make you a royal pain-in-the-ass, or just a normal one" he continued followed by laughter "Guardian..." I heard TI-86's systems power down "What in Equestria just happened?" Twilight asked as she recovered from the insults of the A.I. "Sorry about that. We can't seem to stop him from, for lack of a better term, being an asshole" "That particular A.I. was suppose to be based on the stereotypical personality of the Marine Corp" Guardian explained Twilight looked confused. "Marines are a type of soldier" I clarified "They're believed to act really macho, brash, and blood-thirsty, rely on instinct instead of intelligence, and they are loyal to the bitter end" "So, Ti-86 is suppose to act kind of like Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked "Yes but so far he only does the 'blood-thirsty' part" "Do not forget he also has the abrasive language of a Marine" Guardian interjected "True" I replied "I'm starting to think I just need to create a new A.I. instead of fix this one" "I hate to interrupt Captain" Firestorm said from overhead "But the Brothers are fighting again" I just rolled my eyes and groaned "I'm on my way Storm" I replied as I turned back to Twilight "Hold that thought, I'll be right back" A few minutes later Guardian and I had finally managed to pry the three Brothers apart and stop them from fighting. "Now, I don't want any of you fighting again, understand?" I said sternly The three mini-robots all nodded in understanding. "Good, now, back to work" I commanded As the trio started to leave, a huge explosion echoed through the base "ALERT! ALERT! TI-86 IS FREE" Firestorm shouted over the intercom "Oh shit, Twilights back there" I said as Guardian and I bolted for the Robotics Lab that had contained the mech. I wasn't sure if it was adrenaline or fear for Twilight's safety, but I had never traversed such a distance so quickly. Guardian had fallen back to switch to him more mobile Voyeur drone. I rounded the last corner and saw Twilight looking around in a panic, her eyes bigger than a manhole cover and her chest rising and falling heavily. I ran to her side. "Captain, I'm sorry I didn't mean..." she began "Not now" I said "We have a bigger problem" I opened the blast door and saw the wreak that 86 had left. A huge hole in the wall gave me a good view of the robot, now on a direct course with Ponyville. "Firestorm: analyze 86's schematic and find a weakness" I commanded the ship's intelligence "Can't you just order it to stop?" Twilight asked hopefully "He doesn't listen, that's why I had him separated from his body" "Captain!" A voice cried. I turned to see a group of familiar ponies outside the base's new window. "What'n the hay was THAT?" Applejack asked "That is one of the most powerful war machines ever built" I replied still trying to think up a plan "And it's controlled by an insane rogue A.I." "Captain, I have found a weakness" Firestorm said happily "the Titan model you are using is not complete: it lacks proper armor plating on the energy regulator on its back" "And?" "I believe a single anti-armor missile can crack the chamber and cause the machine to explode" "Good" I replied "What can we do?" asked Rainbow "Ok here's the plan: Dash, Pinkie; I need the two of you to lure that robot back here. Make it mad, but be careful; it's armed and highly dangerous" "On it" Dash replied as she took off "Okie dokie lokie" Pinkie said as she bolted after the Pegasus "Twilight, Rarity; that thing has a missile launcher on its right shoulder that could blow a house apart with one shot. I need the two of you to use your magic to make sure none of it's shots hit anything" "Right" the unicorns said in unison as they ran off toward Ponyville "Fluttershy, Applejack; I need you two to make sure that every pony that's between that robot and here is out of it's sight" "You got it" Applejack replied for the group as they all ran off "Guardian, keep me posted on where that mech is" "Understood" He replied as he flew off toward the battle I ran back into the base and made a bee line for the armory. I burst into the room, my eyes darting around looking for the launchers. Against the far wall was a panel covered in explosion warning. I ran to it and hammered the large orange button, causing the panel to rotate around. On its back was a collection of explosive weapons, including grenade launchers, satchel charges, and the weapon I was looking for: the AT-4 launcher. "Captain, we are on our way back" Guardian reported Wow, that was fast "Roger that, I'm ready here" I replied as I grabbed the tube and ran back outside. Once outside I saw just what was going on: Dash was flying in front of the Titan, berating him and generally driving him insane. Pinkie was using her uncanny ability to appear and disappear. Rarity and Twilight were following and creating shields to intercept the missile launcher shots. The rest of the ponies were waiting outside the base. "What now?" Applejack asked "Once he gets back here I can handle it" I said "You two get inside" They did what I said "We got him here" Pinkie informed me when she appeared next to me "HOLD STILL, YOU FLYING PRIDE PARADE!" I heard TI-86 yell at Dash "I need him to be facing away from me" "You got it" she said happily "Dash! Get Rarity and Twilight out of there" I shouted over the Titan's cacophonous clanking and its guns She shot down and scooped the unicorns up, flying off behind me as Pinkie poofed up behind the raging robot "Hi mister robot" Pinkie said happily drawing the mech's attention. "Now, hold still so I can crush you!" demanded the A.I. Once he turned around, I could see my target: on the mech's back was a large 'Y' shaped structure that acted as a buffer between the machine's massive power source and its systems to prevent overloads. I raised the rocket launcher and sighted down the tube. I pressed the pair of triggers and the warhead shot out. Almost instantly, the HEAT missile impacted the regulator, cracking one of it's arms. "Dash! Grab Pinkie!" I yelled, but apparently the Pegasus was already on it, as I saw a spectral trail shoot over my shoulder, around the now critically failing robot, and back behind me with a chunk of cotton candy in its hooves. Then the machine exploded in a corona of green light, raining twisted metal on the surrounding area. I tossed the spent launcher on the ground and approached the smoking wreckage with the ponies in following. The mech had been almost completely blow apart, save for one of its arms which was scorched and damaged beyond repair. "Nice work everypony" Twilight said victoriously "Yes, nice work" I said dripping with anger "Thanks to you, Twilight, I was forced to destroy one of my most valuable robots; all because you decided to help" "I didn't mean for..." she began I whipped around facing the unicorn, rage now running rampant. "I don't care what you 'meant' to do" I snapped "the fact is: you unleashed a nine ton war machine, that I specifically told you was not safe, on a defenseless town" She looked like I'd punched her in the head "I-I-I was just trying to help" she said as she took a step back "And a lot of good THAT did me Twilight. You're 'help' has cost me a Titan-class combat mech, caused who knows how much damage to Ponyville, blown a hole in my base..." "But..." she tried to say. She looked like she was on the verge of tears "And let's not forget that now I have to explain to the mayor, who already doesn't trust me, why one of my robots went on a rampage through Ponyville, Oh, and I'll probably have to explain myself to Princess Celestia, and I'm pretty damn sure she will never believe that her 'most faithful student' is at fault" "Captain, perhaps you should not be so hard on Ms. Sparkle" Guardian offered. "No Guardian, I will NOT calm down" I snapped "Because of her, I am in a ridiculous amount of trouble, and I am NOT about to just forgive her" I turned back to Twilight who had tears in her eyes. "So thanks for the help Twilight, but I don't need nor do I want any more help from you. Ever" That's when she ran off, tears streaming down her face, toward her library. "Wow, harsh" Dash said. the remaining ponies were all stunned by my outburst "What did you expect me to do Dash?" I asked "I don't know what you ponies think I these machines are for, but they aren't toys: they're weapons, and I would never be able to forgive myself if an innocent was hurt by one" I turned back toward the base "Now, unless it's something important, I have A LOT of shit to clean up"