After a Horrifying apocalyptic event that killed almost everypony in Equestria, a group of friends: Mike-Mic, Gentle Mockingjay, Thunderwing Nightingale and his younger brother Odysseus Blacksmith Nightingale encounter a amnesic pony survivor in the Everfree forest. Who is he and how did this all came to be? Will they discover the cause of this apocalypse or will they die trying?
I am seriously contemplating on tearing this story down and just rewrite the damn thing. I have no idea what was going through my mind while writing this story (granted I only wrote two chapters for it). So I might just take the story down and come back to it later.
UPDATE!: Until further notice, this story is getting cancelled! Why you ask? Just read through a few lines in the first chapter and you'll see why. Now why don't I go back and fix it? Well... a bit because of laziness and I don't have it in me to even attempt to fix it. Most likely in the future I'll come back to this story and re-write the whole story from top to bottom with new characters, story (didn't have much to start with) and all that jazz. Thanks for your understanding! 
I have no suitable image to describe my thoughts when reading the description so let's get this over with and read through it so I can
rantbe my normal, lovable self.i39.tinypic.com/mhdoiu.jpg
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I laughed at first, but this is his first story. I can tell you that if I released my first story, you'd be disgusted and facehoofing at the same time. Also, I've seen his very first draft, because as I said, I know him irl. That draft looked as good as Fallout: Equestria, a book I started reading maybe 8 months ago, and still am to this day. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but that imgur picture kinda phased me a little.
alright. let's get into this story from a friends point of view. Now, you said an archer shouldn't get close when I was trying to sketch up a bow that had snakes on it, but you said that it was pretty bad because you wouldn't get close to an archer? 'On his back he had a sleek bronze bow and a quiver full of arrows, and hidden behind the quiver was a hidden sheathed knife.' Now I know my idea was kind of bad, but still man, you still slipped away with that.
Whoever proofread this kind of did a bad job on it. things like “The kid’s always had that talent and always is generous to give away his masterpieces,” - Kid? “you guys go pick out the rooms you want to crash in. I’ll keep watch ‘till midnight, then I’ll switch shifts with you ,bro, if you want the second shift that is” -Noticed that big tab and the ,bro,.
Basically all I'm saying here is that you have a VERY great potential, you just need to clean it a little. Also i'd suggest kicking that celestia-damned proofreader out the door. He ruined the experience for me.
K, chapter 2.
Now that you've actually taken over the editing, I got alot of advice for ya.
-Run ons.
You seem to use commas to keep sentences going longer than they're supposed to. Run ons aren't just 'she did this and she did that and then..' Stuff like that can really mess up the reader. Guh.
-Capitalization.
In this chapter I've seen plenty of capitalization errors. Most of them were "i went to the park" -Just an example to not feel awkward, but the I is not capitalized. if your doing I or I'm, you must ALWAYS capitalize the I
-Reader's Interest.
You've stayed true to my interest of the story. However, there is a few pebbles being thrown at me (Figure of speech!) It's really got to be actively interesting, and not spend 3 chapters putting armor on.
On That note, you should've tried to put the chapters together. It isn't looking good how long the chapters are at this rate. Meh, I'll see chapter 3 in 3 weeks (Not a serious issue). Just keep trying, and you'll strike home soon.
-Bass Drop Also known as CryaoticPoni
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Well keep in mind that I didn't have a "proof reader" i only had an editor (in my opinion they are not the same thing) and I think the reason with the big tab spaces is because I've uploaded this story from GDocs and FimFiction fucks up the spacing between pages.
As for the titles like Kid and stuff, keep in mind that they are brothers and they have pet names like bro and kid and that stuff. As for chapter 3, I'm trying to get around to it (Damn this writers block)
As for grammar errors like run-ons and that crap i'll try to get around to it.
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k.