Chapter One: Gilda's Return, and Warm Welcome
Chapter One: "Gilda's return, and Warm Welcome."
~
"Hello!" Shouted the Pink Party Pony. "And Welcome to... wait. Oh... Hai" was all the sords the Pony stammered before disappearing somewhere without a trace.
"No, I can't be back in Ponyville! I flew for a day, if anything, I should at least be in Zebrica!"
"You're not the only one surprised by your return" said an edgy voice from behind the griffon.
"Oh... Hi Dash."
"Don't you "Hi Dash" me! I thought you left this town full of 'Dweebs'" that last word held in the air for a while, stinging Gilda.
"I know what I said. I came to apologize?" The last word came out stammered and awkward, sounding like a question more than a statement.
"After how you treated me and my friends? How about we try out these three words? Oh. Hell. Nah"
"Dash, please I have no where else to go!" The griffon pleaded, which was knew to her.
"You should of thought of that when to talked spit about my home." Retorted the Cyan Rainbow of a mare.
"You know how I act when I get mad."
"Well try to unlearn that mental click!"
"Please Dash. I know how I treated you. I know I was being a complete and total pain in the wind, but please, give me one more chance!"
"Fine, but if you do ONE thing, and I mean ONE thing wrong, you're getting booted off the island, understood!"
"Yes Ma'am" said the griffon with a salute.
"Okay good! I still don't forgive you. Now if you want to live in Ponyville, you need to go to Town Hall, and get a house, presumably in the sky as you'll be considered as a Pegasus in the citizenship test. Now, get out of my sight."
~
After what seemed like decades, she finally had her I.D. and Ponyville Bank Check Book, which had the Sky and Clouds in the background, and she was on her way to the DFP when she was stopped by the Pink Pony that was her first sight in Ponyville.
"Sooooooo... Gilda... how are things?" Asked the overly excited Fourth-Wall Breaking Pony cooly
"Good. You?" Replied Gilda smoothly, actually having a pleasant (for the most part) conservation since her moving to Ponyville.
"Oh I was just at my home, improving my Party Cannon to have more accuracy, for certain... things that could happen."
"Ooookay," replied the now spooked griffon. "What things?" she asked sheeply.
"Cockroaches, muggers, for fireworks, anything you can name, this baby," she rubbed the canon, "will take care of it"
"Cool" Said the now Shakey Gilda.
"better not get on her bad side." She thought.
"Eeeyupe" called the Mare before she disappeared off somewhere only Celestia knows.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Bookish Delight · 16k words · 135 7 · 4.5k views
- Connor the Brony · 6.1k words · 165 6 · 15k views
- Eventide Indigo · 6.1k words · 67 6 · 2.7k views
- Pacce · 5.9k words · 93 12 · 5.7k views
- Closer-To-The-Sun · 1.3k words · 32 1 · 1.4k views
- mylittleescape · 5.4k words · 22 3 · 1.8k views
- Krickis · 37k words · 96 2 · 1k views
- LoZLttP13 · 55k words · 84 19 · 3.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
793 users online
586,810 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Bread-crumbz pic ftw!
1940989
Well, there's a few grammatical errors in it... I'd offer to help fix it up, but I'm lazy, and you'd be waiting a while
EDIT: Also, you should make the chapters a little longer, and what he said \/ \/
It was like "Oh, hey, this looks awesome"
Then Chapter one happened and I kinda just died a little.
Too fast, too out of character, and the writing clashes outright with the prologue, which was pretty damn good.
It's like getting a really good looking game, only to find that after the stunning into there's just glitch-y junk.
Gilda's always seemed more stuborn then this i think the prologue might need som more umph to her, "Pain in the wind?" this ammused me but i can't tell why. but this story has potentail favorited, can't wait for chapter 2
1940989
quit whining
everybody gets dislikes
the only thing to do is work harder
there are some people who go around
with multiple accounts
and repeatedly dislike stories their moralfaggoty selves are offended by
because they're losers and don't have anything better to do
however you haven't really done anything to provoke that
so i don't think that's the case
1940989 look i made it even 7 likes 7 dislikes
1941183
Wait... Wind? freaking keyboard, it was supposed to say Wing
1941267
it was a joke on this one kid i know who has to have perfect grades.
1940989 Well... Its 7 likes and 8 dislikes... Should I press dislike to make it even? I guess I should... Later...
Note: Just kidding, I will read it, if its bad I'm not going to do anything
1940989 I'm not trying to be mean, but I will be blunt.
Thanks to your little rant there, I will not bother giving this story a shot. I'm not gonna give it a negative rating, the other readers have clearly made a point of acknowledging what must be poor quality, as have you, yourself. I won't bother giving your comment a negative either, though I probably should, because I don't like replying to such self-deprevating drivel, especially when it comes across as crude as you have made it. Instead, I'm simply going to mosey on along and find some better stories to poke through. The reason I'm not bothering w/your story, more than anything, is because from this comment, I derive that you not only acknowledge that your righting is sub-par - and I will admit that mine is as well - but you also show no signs of attempting to improve upon it.
Were it not for this comment, I'd buckle down, find a block of wood to chomp on, read through what you have so far, and give my advice on how you could improve. However, I won't waste my time on someone who doesn't endeavor to better his/her craft.
1943861
If you're not bothering going to this story, then why did you take the time to comment on this story, wasting both my AND your time. You obviously have nothing better than that to do. By the time you probably wrote that comment, you should have read a better story. So don't say "I'm not going to waste my time..." while you took time out your day to write a letter of a comment, you could have scrolled right past this story in less than a second and read something you actually want to. Oh, and read more than just two damn comments. I also try to write short, somewhat sloppy first chapters to get some criticism, not people like you hating on the story.
So don't pull your "I'm not going to" bullshit when you sent your time on it. I would have rather chopped on a block of wood than to read and reply to your comment. But, since I have a high reaction to bullshit (and stupidity), you made me reply. So, the moral of this story is you're a dumb ass.
P.S. That comment was also a little Joke.
GRIFFONS SUCK!!!!
)
I AM NOT GOING TO READ IT BECAUSE A GRIFFIN IS IN IT!!
(Wow I'm mean to you!
I'm sorry, I can't see RD refusing to give an old friend forgiveness, and Pinkie threatening someone? If that could happen, she'd have gone postal at the end of party of one. I like the premise, but please rework the characters
1948605
Weeelllll:
You've seen Pinkies Dark side when her friends get huet or hurt her, and Dash is as stubborn as a mule. Only Pinkie can make her actually apologize.
hmmmmmmm... continue
2009274
No
2040418 why?
4028422
Mayhaps, iuno. When I have free time I may continue.
4037669 yay I hope you do!