• Member Since 7th Nov, 2015
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Morgan Ray Hess


Storyteller. Artist. Philosopher. Professional nerd. Hardcore My Little Pony fan. Whichever you prefer. Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MorganRayHess

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Fluttershy has been best friends with Rainbow Dash since Flight Camp. It's quite a strange friendship, as no two ponies could be more different. However, what began their friendship is one very, very big thing they have in common: they're both fillyfoolers.
Of course, they're not girlfriends or anything. After all, Rainbow Dash is too adventurous and AWESOME to be tied down or any other mushy gunk like that. I mean, sure they had a sort-of friends-with-benefits thing going on when they lived in Cloudsdale, but that was because they were sort of... well, lonely. By all means the cute, awesome Rainbow Dash should have had tons of friends, but Pegasi aren't terribly tolerant of fillyfoolers, so naturally Fluttershy and Gilda were her only friends, and she theirs. Where else were any of them supposed to get any flank, or for that matter any sort of affection at all?
Of course, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy stopped sleeping together when they moved to Ponyville to escape all that; nobody knows they're fillyfoolers and they have more friends here, so they're not soul-crushingly lonely anymore. However, Fluttershy continues to long for Rainbow, and not just for the occasional fun night; she's in love with Rainbow, and ever since they were fillies she's wanted to be her full-fledged girlfriend.
However, Fluttershy knows Rainbow isn't interested in anything like that and so hasn't told her the way she feels. However, Rainbow decides to come out to their other friends, and at that moment she's up for grabs; Fluttershy finds herself rivaling Scootaloo, Gilda, and Pinkie Pie for Rainbow's affections. Will Fluttershy find the courage to confess her feelings to Rainbow before it's too late?

Now with a TVTropes page!

The cover art was provided by my wonderful and talented friend, PastelDemon.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 154 )

Just to many charaters maybe it is a love triangle with gilda dash and fluttershy though

im loving this story! :ajsmug:

Fluttershy, Gilda? I'm in! :pinkiehappy:

Oh, I like! :pinkiehappy:
I am such a huge fan of love triangles, or is this called a love diamond?
Well anyway, keep going with this story! :twilightblush:

6624393 Too many characters? Why do you think that?

6624487 Thank you very much! It's always wonderful to have your work appreciated! :twilightsmile:

6625033 I couldn't tell really what what happening but maybe im wierd

6625033 The concept of too many characters may be the weakest criticism for a story I have heard yet. Obviously the central focus is Fluttershy and Rainbow. That would be like someone saying Game of thrones had too many characters and is therefore shit. I understand it could get too bogged down, but saying that now is like (literally in this case) judging a book by its cover. True, it is a bit of fan worship on Rainbows part. But not to let that perturb you, so long as you make every point and character vital or impact the story in some way, then there is no criticism as long as the story/character arch's are fulfilled. Regardless, my only criticism is that (and I have fallen for that myself in the past) You put to much of the plot in the bibliography. Some of those points could have been excellent cliffhangers, or points of contention between characters, not being the main ones. (Fluttershy/Rainbow.)

Either way, its not bad so far keep it up mate.

Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Nov 12th, 2015
Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Nov 12th, 2015

6625950 Thank you very much! Feel free to post your suggestions.

6625033 I love your content. It's witty, and intelligent. I have to admit that sometimes it can be confusing. But I'd love to be your editor!:twilightsmile:

I am weird I am rooting for Pinkie Pie.

6625989 Yeah. I'm rooting for all of them. Unfortunately, odds are only one can win, if any do. :ajsleepy:

6625994

Well that is good since it can keep the reader guessing for a while. Pinkie seems to be already pining for Dash even though she does not know whether or not Dash is interested in Mares. I can see this being true there are a lot of scenes in the show that can be construed as Pinkie being particularly interested in Dash.

6625033 I got a little confused on the first part, I believe this was supposed to be after the lunch. It would be nice if you did something to show us that it was after the lunch. You might also want to make the summery shorter, because it gives us a bit more story then you want. That's all the tips I have. Most of the rest was great! Keep it up!

6626020 Yeah, exactly. I think the same is true of Gilda and Scootaloo, as well. The reason I've designed this fic the way I've done is because I truly think that Gilda, Pinkie, and Scootaloo are infatuated with Rainbow Dash. That's where I got the idea of the title from; Rainbow seems to be quite the chick magnet, and I can see her using this to her advantage to get a lot of easy casual one-night-stands. Hence, she's a "heartbreaker."

Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Nov 12th, 2015
Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Nov 12th, 2015
Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Nov 12th, 2015

Well, you've piqued my interest. I'm always a fan of FlutterDash stories, and I'm hoping it ends with Fluttershy ending up with Rainbow Dash. I'm going to be keeping an eye out on this.

Also, the CMC don't have their cutie marks in this one? What are you having this go before 'Raiders of the Lost Mark'?

This looks like the top-notch shit that I usually like to read. I'm going to stand by until this bad boy gets updated, and then I'm going to ravage my way through it! Nice concept here! :rainbowdetermined2:

This is actually really intereting. Though the characters feel a Tiny bit OOC... but who am I to judge, since I can't pull off characters too well most of the time. :twilightblush: Either way, I still like the story you're getting a like and favorite, hope to see a next update! :pinkiehappy:

6626200 Yes, this takes place before Raiders of the Lost Mark. It's set in early Season 2.

6626717 "Top notch." That's exactly how I was hoping it'd be regarded. I'm glad you think so highly of it! :pinkiehappy:
But seriously, why do you think it got so many dislikes? :rainbowhuh: I'd really like to know why...

6626979 I am deeply honored by your praise. The next chapter's coming very soon, and I hope it lives up to your expectations! :rainbowdetermined2:
At any rate, in what way do you think the characters are OOC?

6627964 6627964 No problemo, and I am sure it will :twilightsmile: Anyways as to why I find some of the character OOC, well....

Continued sobbing into his soft, white fur. "Oh Angel..." she whispered. "It hurts so much. It hurts so much." Fluttershy hated this. More than heights. More than humiliation. More than dragons. She hated being in love. She had never felt more pain, or fear, than she felt now. She could think of nothing more horrible than being so completely in love

There was some other parts on Fluttershy's part, but I found this one to be the most OOC out of her character. Now, Fluttershy is sensetive and all I know, but I just can't take the element of kindess out for being upset over not having a special somepony. I feel like she would just be happy to help others, and just have her best friends with her. :twilightblush: It would make more sense if she was heartbroken, but I feel as if you sortof took it a little bit too far with her being upset. But that's okay since this is a fanfiction, just her being overly sensitive to this point I find a little bit strange.

Now on to Applejack

"Aww, you're all so sweet," Applejack said.

This kinda through me off a little bit, I can't imagine her saying that... It just doesn't fit her character to say that just so straight forward. THIS WAS A GREAT OPPIRTUNITY TO ADD A LITTLE TEASING TO THIS LINE. Though It's nice how you made her so considerate and nice to her friends to invite them to have lunch on this day. But she seems a little bit too nice. Just I could see her throwing in a little bit of random teasing once and a while depeniding on the situation. (In this case once in a while) would enhance her character. :ajsmug:

Twilight she's okay, but I say that you've pulled Pinkie and Rarity off the best personally. Like Rarity you got her right off the bat! Same with Pinkie. Don't get me wrong, this chapter was absolutely well done. I just say if you made a bit minor changes with Fluttershy not being too upset it would be more amazing. And as well with Applejack being more teaseful.

Though honestly if I were to write a story like this I would have personally gotten Fluttershy a bit upset that she doesn't have a special somepony cause of Hearts and Hooves day, but make her remind herself that she has lovely friends and then make her happyish. I would like make her slowly fall in love with Rainbow Dash. Then I would bring in the insecurties and heart breaking, upset, crying moments.

But other than that great chapter! Hope to see more chapters with hopefully good pacing and cliffhangers like this one. :twilightsmile:

Sorry if this comments too long, wanetd to sound professional even though I am a horrible writer. :rainbowlaugh: So yeah, best of luck mate! This story has got lots of potential and hopefully more people stop by and recongize it. :derpytongue2:

6630056 Don't worry; I quite like long comments. I'm very much a doorstopper junkie. :twilightsmile:
By the way, what exactly do you mean by "teasing"? :rainbowhuh: I'm a bit confused.

6630532

tease
tēz/
verb
gerund or present participle: teasing
1.
make fun of or attempt to provoke (a person or animal) in a playful way.
"Brenda teased her father about the powerboat that he bought but seldom used"
synonyms: make fun of, poke fun at, laugh at, guy, make a monkey (out) of; More

Heh, kinda like what the defonition says ^
Hehe sorry about a late response I was gonna respond but I forgot, then I recently saw you update the story and now I'm gonna read it. :twilightblush:

Hmmm nice chapter! Everything seemed to flow perfectly, good work! :raritywink:

Edit: I now see why she was so heart broken! Nothing made sense till this chapter so now I have no more complaints. :twilightblush:

6647217 No complaints? Yes! :rainbowkiss:
I'm glad the new chapter seemed to live up to your expectations! I hope it does for everyone else tracking it, too... :fluttershyouch:
Uggh, I REALLY hope more people read this. I wonder if the high dislike ratio is scaring 'em off. Seriously, why does it have 7 dislikes to 20 likes?! :twilightangry2: I thought my writing was higher-quality than that...

Hmm makes you wonder if Dash has tried to pick up any of her other friends like Pinkie or if she has actively avoided it.

6647672 Well to me you seem like you have good grammar and a good pacing. I think mostly what set people off to dislike your story was the fact that your main description is way too loooooooooong. And that you had made Fluttershy extremely sensetive. Without the chapter two people most likely wouldn't have seen the connection. It would have got more likes if you had realesed both chapters on the first go, or if you had put them all into one chapter. Or hell if you put a prologue then chapter one with all of it connecting. But don't fret, I'm sure you'll get the likes you deserve if you keep going on being confident in your work. Don't let dislikes get to you, cause I'm sure you'll do fine. :pinkiehappy:

Edit: Also one thing I noticed to was that Gilda wasn't exactly in the story yet in chapter one. I'm not sure if you can count her in your story now, cause she's just in a flashback. Not exactly pony to pony, well in this case griffin to pony. So I'm not sure if the tag should be there yet. And I don't know if I saw scootaloo either. I just remeber Apple Bloom. So possibly might wanna fix your main character tags and add them when they're actually in it. :twilightblush:

Edit 2: Also I think you would get more readers if you got a official coverart. You wanna catch peoples atrention. You wanna make them wanna look at your story. And a good coverart helps to catch even more attention, rather than a simple MLP canon screenshot, it's not very exciting and eye catching. And I've learned that to get peoples attention and likes, you're gonna want to have a good professional looking story. Which means, short simple sweet description/summary on the front, correct main character tags, and a official good coverart. The more professional you look the more likes and reads and favs! Hell, if you want I can draw you a coveart! I'd be willing to help you get more likes and views in any way I can with this story, simply cause I know it deserves it.

It was great :yay: . Looking foward for more :pinkiehappy: .

6650152 Glad you liked it! You'll see more soon! :twilightsmile:

Amazing chapter loving every second of this!:pinkiehappy:

6659474 Wonderful! I hope it continues to please you! :twilightsmile:

I had a feeling that what happened with Applejack would be the outcome based on the title of the chapter. Personally, I prefer stories where she is okay with one or more of her friends being fillyfoolers. Still, hopefully, there'll be a way to repair their friendship with Applejack. I gotta say, I don't think Pinkie Pie's reaction was as negative as Rainbow thinks. On the bright side, at least Rainbow was on the right track with Fluttershy, and hopefully will realize just who she wants for a special somepony. If this is the beginning of a series, I'll probably keep an eye out on you, if the pairing I'm rooting for in this chapter will prevail, that is.

6673260 Oh, this'll be more than merely a series; this'll be the foundation that my other fics build upon. This is the little twig from which many other stories will branch off. For instance, remember Dash's parents' divorce, and how Rainbow knows almost nothing about it? There's gonna be another fic all about that. And believe me, the revelations to come then are of enormous significance. :trixieshiftright:
Regarding Applejack, her bigotry, and the others' shattered friendships with her over it, I will say this: she's going to discover something that will deeply shake her worldview and force her to reevaluate her positions. At that point she's going to have to make peace with her friends' sexualities (and thereby be able to reconcile with them) or she's going to lose even more than she already has.
The intrigue is deep in this one. :duck:

Comment posted by Daybreaking Sun deleted Dec 3rd, 2015

6647217 I'm pretty sure the other characters come in later in the story. But I do agree the description is to long.:twilightsmile:

6674035 Do a fic about whatever it happens to Apple Jack!:pinkiehappy: I want to see what happens to her!:rainbowkiss:

Pinkie is probably setting up a celebratory party or planning to ask Dash out for a date.

The foreshadowing is real between rarity and sweetie belle, someone is going to spill the tea :pinkiegasp:

Rainbow knew now that she'd just have to dye her coat white, dye her mane in nebula colors, paint a sun on her flanks, and get a tiara and some golden shoes. Then all she'd have to do is give Twilight a little "test," then offer her a reward for acing it...

That would be reeeally interesting to see :twilightsheepish:

I've just gotten a new cover for this!

It was very generously provided for me by my wonderful friend DemonBoy. Many thanks to him for the incredible artwork. :twilightsmile:

WOW this chapter was amazing I wonder what rainbow will say. This is getting better every chapter :rainbowkiss:

I am liking the cover is that the original or a new cover?

First off, I think you made a typo with Apple Bloom's name during the conversation the Crusaders were having. Second, things are really starting develop. Fluttershy has unknowingly gained two rivals now, with the third probably coming soon. Although, I think Scootaloo might not be in the running. Rainbow might be a fillyfooler, but she's no pedophile. Unless Scootaloo finds a way to age herself, she's got no chance. Still, hopefully, she'll find somepony her own age when all is said and done. However, it looks like Applejack's ideals have rubbed off on her sister. Hopefully, this will all work out.

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