Tales of Loyalty

Long lost stories of Loyalty

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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TEK101

TEK101 #1 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

It was kind of boring, but I saw some potential. It was kind of hard to get through, and nothing really happened. the end threw me. Not the best I have read, but was still good. I will look at more of your work, and I cannot wait.

Windhelm Guard

Windhelm Guard #2 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

Am I the only one who doesn't accept death and instead pictures that the elements do something to make it so the main 6 do not age, or their siblings/ spouse?

Silver-Brony

Silver-Brony #3 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

1906240

wrong magical item, the One Ring that stops aging is three doors down

Church

Church #4 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

It was interesting. My only true quarrel with it is that nothing really happens in the story. Now, this would be a great introductory piece. If you were to make this a chapter fic with Scootaloo being the main character, it would be an intriguing introduction. But since it is not... I don't know how to feel.

I noticed a few grammatical errors in the piece. None that detract from the story at all, but if you read back through, you might catch them.

Not written poorly, so that's a plus. If only you would extend this for us

- Church

Dash Aradele

Dash Aradele #5 · Mar 7th, 2013 · · ·

They say she was born born in free fall

Only one born is needed to get the point across
Great story, but I have to agree - to some degree - with Church...this would be a great introduction, you might think of adding more
Also, I totally didn't expect it to be Scootaloo at the end. I expected it to be Dashie. But oh well :)

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