Twilight Sparkle was filled with confusion.
She had been enjoying a peaceful night of sleep when the most unlikely of intrusions had stripped her from her dreamland reverie involving a world made entirely of books... sans herself, of course: somepony had to read them after all.
“Twilight Sparkle, is something the matter?” The serene tone of her mentor’s voice adjusted the focus of Twilight’s mind to the situation at hoof. “You seem distracted.”
The unicorn’s gaze fell to the source of all her problems that day: the bird feeder in her lap. Such a simple device. She knew it was not truly the thing to blame... that would be the seeds that filled it. Had rational thought played any part in the blame-game, Twilight would have thought to blame her lack of diligence in researching the seeds she had ordered.
Regardless of where the blame fell, the situation was such: Twilight’s bedroom had been invaded in the middle of the night by the ruling sisters of Equestria in their hope that they might procure the apparently tasty seeds within the bird feeder. Somehow, the pegasus shield – a device intended to keep pegasi out of bird feeders by way of a selective barrier that only reacted to the innate magic of a pegasus – had managed to prove an obstacle for the royal sisters.
Twilight's gaze rose to meet her mentor’s. “Princess, why do you need my help to get to the seeds? I thought that device would only block pegasus magic?”
Celestia simply beamed a warm smile at her student. “Ah, but half the fun of a snack tube is eating directly from it. Using our unicorn magic would lessen enjoyment of the experience.”
The now-familiar twitch returned to Twilight’s eye. “Alright, but why do you two want these seeds? I was told they were a delicacy for pegasi and that they were...” The unicorn was thankful that the night’s darkness did much to hide her sudden blush.
Celestia tilted her head, as a look of mild curiosity spread across her face. “They are what?”
“Dear sister, I believe your student is alluding to the aphrodisiacal effects of the hippocrene seeds.” Luna interjected. “That is, if her flushing cheeks are any indication.” Twilight silently nodded in affirmation as her embarrassment escalated. She wondered whether Luna simply had superior eyesight in the dark or if she was blushing so fiercely that anypony could see it.
Curiosity shifted to confusion on the alabaster mare’s countenance. “Hippocrene seeds have no such quality. Luna, surely you recall when we used to snack on them daily.” The nighttime mare nodded. “Even then, I suffered no increase in my libido.”
Even in the poor lighting, Twilight noticed the growing smirk on Luna’s face. “Funny that ye wouldst make such a claim whence ye doth refer to the time when ye decreed that your royal guard should only consist of stallions.”
Twilight was certain that she had never witnessed Princess Celestia acting nervous. It was a strange thing to see a pony known far and wide for her calm and confidence suddenly fidgeting like a filly trying to confess a foalhood crush.
Celestia let out a nervous laugh. “I assure you that had nothing to do with my decision.”
“Princess?”
Twilight’s voice snapped the nervous mare back into her normal posture. “Yes, Twilight?”
“If these seeds are so dangerous, why do you even allow them to be grown and sold?”
“Dangerous?” the royal sisters asked in tandem.
Twilight sighed. Answers never seemed to come easy for her. Still, this would be her best chance to get to the bottom of this whole mess. “Fluttershy told me that these seeds taste so good that at one point pegasi tried to eat nothing else, nearly causing an economic collapse in the Equestrian food sector.”
Twilight had not expected the sisters to burst out laughing.
After their fit of laughter waned, Celestia responded. “I see pegasi are still fans of historical revisionism.”
The lavender unicorn’s face scrunched in confusion. “Historical revisionism? You mean that isn’t true?”
“All good lies bear a strand of truth, Twilight Sparkle. The supposed issue with the seeds was confined entirely to Cloudsdale.” Celestia chuckled. “You see, at some point, the pegasi there decided they wanted to mimic the upper-class style of Canterlot’s unicorns. Their idea of upper-class involved only eating high-quality, expensive foods. Given the qualities of those seeds, they immediately latched onto the idea of a hippocrene seed exclusive diet.”
Twilight listened intently as the truth was revealed to her.
“After a few months, they discovered that hippocrene seeds, for all their taste, lack any real form of nutrition.” Celestia continued. “Unfortunately, they were quite stubborn and many were unwilling to sacrifice their arbitrary social status for the sake of nutrition. In the end, I had to ban the sale of hippocrene seeds to pegasi just to keep them from eating their way into starvation.”
Twilight was dumbstruck. The mere concept that one could think a single food could encompass a healthy diet was just silly. The fact that an entire city had taken months to notice a rampant case of malnutrition was beyond belief. But the most absurd thought was that ponies could be more concerned about social status than about their own health.
After a few moments of silence as Twilight’s brain came to terms with the combination of hilarity and stupidity that she had been exposed to, she spoke up. “So, you two didn’t come here as part of some crazy plan to eat a bunch of aphrodisiacal seeds in my bedroom that would involve me sandwiched between the two of you?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Luna and Celestia paused for but a moment before their gazes met.
“Luna...” Twilight was quick to recognize Celestia’s tone of disappointment. “Do you mean to tell me that you tagged along thinking this was some sort of attempt to make Twilight Sparkle our royal consort?”
After a moment’s hesitation, Luna replied. “If I say no, will I be spared your wrath?”
Twilight’s eye twitched. She briefly wondered if she was developing some kind of nervous reaction that was causing it. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden flush of heat spreading throughout her body. She was certain she had never felt so embarrassed before. Before her mind could drift to contemplating the possibility of a full-body blush, the sound of a hoof meeting a forehead drew her attention.
Celestia sighed as she removed her hoof from her face. “Luna, we did not come here to provide intimate, personal instruction about sexual activity to Twilight Sparkle. I just wanted a snack!” The diarch of the day surprised even herself with her sudden exclamation.
“Ugg, fine!” Spike shouted, breaking the tense mood before it could settle in. “If it means getting some uninterrupted sleep, I’ll go make you all something.” The little dragon hopped out of his basket and made his way towards the stairs while grumbling incoherent curses under his breath.
Celestia’s head dipped as a show of her apology. “I am sorry, Twilight Sparkle. I never meant to cause you such a disturbance.”
“It would seem that now is a bad time for us to be here.” Luna added. The sisters nodded to each other as their horn lit with power.
“You should stay for a bit!” Twilight interjected. “Spike would be really upset if you left before eating his snacks.” The glow of power ceased.
“Very well, Twilight Sparkle. While we wait, perhaps thou mayst inform us as to thy preferred method of being ravished.” Luna replied casually. The younger sister shifted uncomfortably as Celestia’s stare bore into her.
Twilight’s embarrassment forced her eyes down to her lap. “W-well, if I had to choose...” Her lips continued moving but nary a whisper escaped.
“Couldst thou speak up?”
A tiny squeak preceded any response. Twilight suddenly had a very good idea of what it felt like to be Fluttershy.
“As adorable a sound as that was, it does not answer our question.” Luna replied.
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Luna, please stop. You’re embarrassing Twilight.”
The younger sister made a noticeable effort to avoid her sister’s gaze. “I was merely trying to learn more about her. Surely your student would have an endless stream of suitors vying for her attention. With as much experience as she must have, I see no harm in inquiring about her intimate preferences.”
The solar mare sighed heavily before leveling a cynical gaze at the nighttime mare. “Luna, you’re still a terrible liar.”
Twilight raised her head at the odd remark. Luna appeared to have frozen in place. Whether the younger sister was actually shocked at the accusation, or if she was simply bad at acting, Twilight wasn’t entirely certain; at first. Between Luna’s swiftly averted gaze and the nervous pursing of her lips, Twilight’s list of conclusions narrowed to one.
“W-well, I was informed that it was perfectly acceptable to discuss one’s lascivious encounters with your friends.” Luna replied in a bid to regain her conversational integrity. “Twilight Sparkle is my friend, and I can think of nopony more suited to teaching me about modern sexual practices.”
Celestia smirked. “My student, who has managed to misinterpret being asked out on a date as a request for help studying for a test?” The solar mare could almost hear her sister’s empty bravado deflating like a popped balloon.
“Your snacks are on the table downstairs,” the young dragon suddenly growled. The three mares watched him as he plodded methodically over to his basket-bed. He grumpily hopped in and wrapped himself in his blanket.
The three mares nodded silently to one another and made their way to the lower floor of the library-turned-home.
Upon arriving at the aforementioned table, Luna promptly dug into the plate of snacks. Twilight was surprised by the complete lack of table manners as Luna greedily consumed the contents of the plate.
“Luna...” Celestia paused briefly, hoping her call would distract her sister from her rather uncouth behavior. The solar princess could only sigh when Luna continued her gorging. “Can you at least leave some for me?”
Moments later, the midnight mare withdrew from the plate. A single piece of food was all that remained of Spike’s effort. “As ye hast requested, sister, I have left ye a piece of the dragon’s offering to my night.” Luna spoke with a pleased expression.
Celestia’s horn lit as she claimed the remaining morsel for herself. “Luna, that was a plate of snacks for us, not an offering to request pleasant dreams.” she replied with a disappointed shake of her head.
“If ye wish to misinterpret his generous gift to me as such, then by all means, help yourself.”
Celestia narrowed her gaze before making a show of devouring the last snack, chewing it slowly as if she was making a point.
“Well, now that that’s done, I think I’ll be going back to bed,” Twilight spoke. Without waiting for a response, she turned around and tried to slink off towards the stairs. Unfortunately, a dark blue leg thwarted her escape.
“We cannot allow thee to sleep alone on such a cold night. Allow us to keep thee warm tonight, dearest Twilight.” Twilight squeaked once more as Luna pulled her close and gently draped a wing over her.
“Luna, just stop.” Celestia reached out with her magic, relieving her student of the unwanted embrace. “I do not mind if you wish to stay and talk with Twilight Sparkle but I am not going to let you force your way into her bed, even if all you want to do is cuddle.”
Twilight took the opportunity to put room between herself and the unexpectedly intimate princess.
“And what of Twilight Sparkle’s desires?” Luna countered. Twilight turned around to find the sisters’ faces mere inches from each other. “Who art ye to say with whom she may consort?”
Celestia’s gaze turned harsh as she narrowed the gap with her sister, her hoofsteps punctuated with sparks of magic. The solar mare reared her head back before slamming it forward; her sister followed suit, mimicking her actions perfectly. Their horns collided in a flashy spray of magical sparks. The sisters pressed their horns firmly against the other’s. “I would have little say if you were pursuing her properly instead of making the decision without letting her voice her own opinion!” she exclaimed, her voice rising to nearly a shout.
“Fine!” Luna responded with equal volume. Without breaking the physical deadlock with Celestia, she called to Twilight, “Twilight Sparkle, art thou interested in having a romantic partner?”
The unicorn blinked twice before the question sank in. “Yes.” The answer came without a single thought of the possible consequences. It may have been the truth, but even as the word left her lips, Twilight was uncertain if the truth was the best answer to give at this moment. Twilight swiftly appended her statement, “Though, I’d prefer a stallion.”
The royal sisters relaxed. “Very well, Twilight Sparkle. May we assume that thou doth wish to be pursued through normal channels?” Luna asked, not turning to face the lavender unicorn.
“Um, yes...” Twilight replied, her tone reflected her uncertainty.
Luna craned her neck around to flash a gentle smile at Twilight. “Then, we shall respect thy wishes.” She turned back to her sister. “Satisfactory?”
The tension melted away from Celestia’s face leaving a gentle smile behind. “It’s a start.” The diarch of the sun shifted her gaze to her student. “I’m sorry for causing you such a ruckus while you were asleep. We will take our leave for now.” The familiar warm glow of power surrounded the royal siblings. “Goodnight, Twilight Sparkle.” With that simple farewell and a flash of light, the tired unicorn mare quietly slipped upstairs and back into bed.
Eventually, a peaceful sleep found her allowing the long day’s trials to dissolve away into the past.
Twilight groaned as her mind slowly slipped from the realm of peace and solitude back into the dreaded waking world. As the fog of sleep slowly lifted from her mind she became acutely aware of the additional presence in her bed.
She found herself facing the unfortunate choice between opening her eyes to find out who was trespassing and simply rolling over and going back to sleep.
A few moments passed.
With a noise somewhere between a growl and a groan she twisted her body around in hopes of getting a look at the unfortunate soul who had dared disturb her linen sanctuary.
There was no amnesty in her heart this morning.
Twilight forced her eyes open. Laying next to her – under the covers no less – was a familiar rainbow-maned pegasus.
“Hey, Twilight.” Rainbow smiled nervously. “I was waiting for you to get up and I got a bit chilly...” The pegasus shrunk back from the now glaring gaze of Twilight. A slight blush spread across the brash pegasus’ face. “So... I just figured you wouldn’t mind a little extra warmth while you slept in.”
“Rainbow–”
“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday, alright.” the pegasus swiftly interrupted. “I don’t know what I did that made you mad, but I’m sorry!”
Twilight’s expression softened. “Rainbow, it’s nice to hear that you’re sorry, but a blanket apology doesn’t really feel sincere.” Twilight sat up, gently nudging her visitor with a hoof to hint that she should follow suit. Rainbow obliged but chose to keep her head down. “I think it would be good for both of us if I explained why I stormed out yesterday.”
Rainbow Dash nodded without raising her gaze.
“I went through a lot of trouble to get that feeder set up just right. First, I had trouble getting the seeds ordered which required a formal letter to be written to the vendor explaining how to do their job in actually charging my account. I mean, it isn’t that difficult to requisition funds from my stipend account, but those ponies acted like they’d never done business with a pony using a royal stipend account before!” It may have been early, relatively speaking eleven in the morning was early for Twilight depending on her study schedule, but she could already feel herself gearing up for a full and proper rant.
“So, between that whole fiasco delaying my order and the bureaucratic garbage I had to go through just to install a new window, the whole thing went from a simple project into a week’s worth of work! Do you know what I had to go through to put that window there? I had to get approval from three different places just to install a window!” Twilight’s average volume was beginning to escalate.
“Why–”
“Because I don’t technically own this place!” The unicorn snapped before Rainbow could form a complete question. “When I first moved here, the Princess had issued a temporary requisition of this building for the duration of my stay as the overseer of the Summer Sun Celebration. When she decided to let me stay in Ponyville, nopony thought to file any permanent requisition, so I’ve technically been living in a government owned facility without anypony actually telling me that the proper paperwork hadn’t been filed to grant me ownership of the building!” Twilight leaned in close to Rainbow prompting the pegasus to lean away, “So when the mayor showed up at my door asking why I was attempting to modify the library without filing for permission, I was less than enthused by the situation.”
“Um, Twilight...”
If Twilight had noticed Rainbow attempting to grab her attention, she did not show it. “In the end I had to get the Princess to come here and personally sort things out.” The unicorn pulled back as she lifted a hoof to tap her chin. “Although it was nice to see her for an unplanned visit. She even brought her tea set with her.” The edges of her lips crept slowly upward into a smile.
“Uh, Twilight?”
The sound of her name ripped the reminiscing unicorn from her delightful reverie. “Oh, right. So, I set up the observation area by the window so that I could take notes while the feeder was being used. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to watch a single thing. I sat there for hours hoping to take some manner of notes on colorations, or wing movements, or eating habits; all to no avail!” she shouted. “For some reason you,” a lavender hoof jabbed Rainbow’s chest, “decided to only come out to eat when I wasn’t looking!”
“Hey, it’s not like I knew you wanted to watch!” Rainbow’s wings flared out. “It’s kinda embarrassing eating out of a snack tube.” Her wings fell back to her sides as a small blush set in. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me looking so awkward.”
Watching the brash pegasus deflate into a shy, almost defensive posture washed all of Twilight’s anger away. It was a rare sight for Rainbow Dash to act submissively, never mind the chances of seeing her blush. As frustrated as she was with the pegasus for wasting her time, Twilight realized that shouting at her wasn’t going to help.
Two lavender forelegs reached out and pulled the blushing pegasus into a sudden embrace. “It’s fine, Rainbow. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Twilight felt the soft touch of feathers brushing against her sides and back. She cast a glance down to see Rainbow’s wings slowly wrapping around her.
It was warm.
Twilight’s ear twitched at the sudden warmth of Rainbow’s breath as the pegasus leaned in to whisper. “Yeah, well we could always repeat the experiment if you really need those observations.”
Twilight flicked her ear twice, hoping that the action would discourage the soft muzzle from hovering so close. “I’m going to have to pass for now. I have something I need to catch up on.” The excuse slipped out before Twilight even recognized that Rainbow had started gently nuzzling a sensitive spot at the base of her ear. “Very important... magical research study for Princess Celestia!”
The pegasus pulled back from her nuzzling to meet Twilight’s gaze. Suddenly, the studious unicorn became acutely aware of the temperature as the warmth began to fade from the base of her ear. “Well, at least let me stick around and keep you warm.” The pegasus’ gaze slipped to a half lidded expression as the corners of her lips curled upwards. “I can totally be a distraction, you know.”
“Yes, I know. That’s why I’d like some time to myself, Rainbow.”
The pegasus blinked. Her eyes swiftly shot open as she realized her error. “Wait, that came out wrong!” she quickly exclaimed. “I mean I won’t be a distraction!”
Twilight smirked. “Well, you’re being pretty distracting right now.” Rainbow’s mouth began to move but Twilight continued speaking, interrupting the pegasus before a single sound could escape. “Please, Rainbow. I just need some time alone. I promise we can hang out later.”
Rainbow Dash frowned and let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine.” She retracted her wings. Twilight shivered at the sensation of the cold air rushing in to fill the once insulated void around her. “If you want to be alone, I can leave.”
Twilight watched as her friend made an exit through the nearby window. Another shiver ran down her spine.
The next few hours had passed by in a flash.
While there was no actual magical research report for Princess Celestia, Twilight had still mostly managed to enjoy her time alone.
Mostly, because of two particular things. The first was when Spike had tried to shirk his daily chores by claiming that Owlowiscious had agreed to do them. It didn’t take Twilight long to extract the truth, however. It turned out that Spike had promised to give the Cutie Mark Crusaders a cooking lesson; then he started mumbling about sweet-something-or-other. Regardless, Twilight worked out a compromise with Spike which earned her some genuine alone time for the day.
The second thing was that she couldn’t help wondering why Rainbow Dash had been acting so strangely. She certainly wasn’t known to be the affectionate type. Thoughts about those warm wings and soft nuzzles had been distracting Twilight all day.
Before she could ponder the situation any further, there was a sudden bright flash behind her. Twilight wheeled around, her horn flaring with magic, ready to greet the unexpected visitor with a show of force if necessary. That notion died as soon as her eyes settled on the magnificent form of the Princess of the Night.
“Luna!?” Twilight’s magic dimmed to nothing as she tried to process what was happening.
“Greetings, Twilight Sparkle!” The princess exclaimed happily. “We are here to court thee according to proper Equestrian traditions!”
Twilight’s eye twitched.
This was not what she had expected. Granted, she wasn’t quite sure what she had been expecting Luna to do after her visit the previous night. Her mind raced for any possible excuse to slow things down. Thankfully, she remembered to leave herself a way. Twilight smiled. “If you recall, Luna, I had specified that I prefer stallions.”
The midnight mare’s horn flared to life, followed by another bright flash. Now, standing next to Luna was a familiar sight. Luna had summoned one of her bat-winged pegasi. With a grand smile befitting her enthusiasm, Luna dashed Twilight’s attempt at dismissing her. “We remembered thy preference, dearest Twilight. That is why we have have brought thee our esteemed captain for thy personal use, as per Royal Equestrian Law, Proclamation Twelve!”
Twilight’s confidence faltered. She was no expert on Equestrian law, much less the ancient laws enacted centuries ago. In truth, she had no idea what Luna was referring to. “Um, Luna... I’m not familiar with that proclamation.”
The princess cleared her throat. “Proclamation twelve: The position of Royal Consort to a ruling Equestrian Princess, is neither a station of power nor a reward unto itself. It is to be considered, legally, a job that requires a commitment of time and, should the Princess(es) desire it, relocation to Equestria’s capital for the term of service. As a government employee, the consort is entitled to all appropriate benefits, sans regular salary. Should the consort require currency, the consort must requisition it from the Princess(es) the consort serves on a case by case basis. In lieu of a salary, as normal expenses will be handled by the Princess(es), the consort is entitled to a compensatory gift for the consort’s time and service to be agreed upon before his or her service begins.”
Twilight’s head tilted to the side as she tried to process Luna’s mimicking of the legalese likely found within the proclamation. It was odd that Luna thought one was supposed to pronounce a parenthesis. The slightly befuddled mare shook her head before focusing her gaze on the giddy princess before her. “So, are you saying that your guard captain is my compensation should I agree to become your consort?”
“Correct.”
“Isn't that a form of slavery?” Twilight retorted.
“Nay, tis voluntary service. Proclamation twelve, subsection (b): Should material compensation prove inadequate, the voluntary service of one or more officers of the Equestrian Royal Guard may be offered.”
“Uh...” Twilight hesitated briefly. “Could you explain that without sounding like a legal document?”
A small giggle escaped Luna’s lips. “Of course. Our captain has volunteered to be thy personal romantic partner as compensation for thou becoming our romantic partner.”
“That’s... not what I was expecting.”
Luna’s smile flipped to a frown as her brow furrowed. “Why not? We agreed to pursue thee through normal channels.”
“By ‘normal’ I thought you meant actually trying to court me with gifts, poems, and going out on dates.” Twilight retorted. Secretly, she was proud of herself. She knew that Luna would be too busy to make time to–
“Very well!”
Twilight’s eye twitched.
“We shall return in two days time with poetry and gifts befitting thy station as our sister’s protege. Upon our return we shall allow thee to conduct a date as thee sees fit!” the midnight mare exclaimed. Twilight couldn’t help but notice the similarity of Luna’s current expression to that of the one she wore when she discovered the offerings of candy left for her at the old Nightmare Moon statue on Nightmare Night.
Before Twilight could formulate a response, Luna had closed the gap between them. The princess looked down at her with a gentle gaze as her muzzle drew close to Twilight’s. Slowly, their lips met.
No matter how she tried, Twilight couldn’t seem to break her eyes away from Luna’s gentle gaze. Something soft and warm brushed against Twilight’s lips. The sensation repeated several times, as though this thing was asking permission to enter, asking her lips to open. Without thinking, Twilight obliged.
Luna pressed deeper into the kiss as her tongue began its exploration of the new territory it had found. The alicorn’s tongue danced with exotic motions learned through years of practice. It playfully teased Twilight’s tongue to join in its merry dance. The lavender unicorn moaned in pleasure as she accepted the dance request.
Twilight lost track of how long she had been kissing Luna. When the midnight mare finally pulled back, Twilight was left with conflicting feelings. On one hoof, she had absolutely not wanted to be kissed. One the other hoof, it felt really good. Before she could even attempt to reconcile her feelings, the Princess of the Night had vanished with only a sultry wink as her farewell.
Once more, Twilight sat alone in her library. She could only try to ponder what she would do next.
Cept' with Celestia instead of Ross.
Poor twilight, she gets all the mares, but she wants a stallion!
Can't tell if this is going to be Twidash, or Lunalight.
Still, great chapter man! You're continuing it! Hooray!
Oh dear. The comedy is now a romantic comedy.
And it's all over a bird feeder.
Loved it, want moar.
Poor Twi. Brain go boom.
I LOVE this. I thought that this was a one-shot. Seeing this updated in my favorites list both shocked and delighted me. You get
I don't think there is a single thing about this story that I dislike.
More please!
Oh boy, a continuation.
And then Twilight opened the closet door, walked out, and never looked back.
Oh my, this is pretty good, dood. I'm watching this...like a hawk
Gotta say, this was a story I never expected to update. I thought it was just a one-shot.
Although, that does not mean I am displeased. Far from it.
Oh! Well now. Both Dash and Luna vying for Twilight? Haven't seen this sort of thing before
Hehehe.
She only said it did not increase; I am pretty sure you cannot increase what is already maxed out...
More please!
I... kind of want to see where this goes...
Oh I do so LOVE watching my sister trying to be normal.
I thought it was adorable and funny and there needs to be more of this!
Who let Pinkie in?
Spike!
SPIKE!
...... What can I say? She offered me cupcakes.
...What?...
I gave him cupcakes Dashie. That's all.... You don't need to be so tense... In fact, I could use your help with making some more cupcakes if you don't mind...
Buck...
2221073 XD Love that clip.
2221098 Hee hee, comedy is a cruel beast indeed.
2221153 Thanks, but I'm not spoiling that point.
2221185 2221327 Glad you like it. Already working on chapter 3.
2221196 But Rainbow wants to be
2221272 2221363 It was a one shot, but enough people asked for more and I got a fun idea on how to continue it.
2221378 Just wait until they find out about each other.
2221384 Yay! Wondered if anyone would come to that conclusion.
Oh lord, that was hilarious. Luna is absolutely fantastic, and I cannot figure out if she is trolling Twilight or not.
2221153 or PLOT-TWIST! twilstia
I get a notification that this has updated and I get ready to read it...
Oh wait I already spent the past five days editing it and I already have re-read like twice....Nevermind then
2221153>>2221471
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23fh7LSNr1qbju49.png
I'm sorry... I just had to do that.
Also, I find it amusing that Just earlier today, I read the latest chapter of a story by The Incredible Blunderbolt, and it was pretty much a big reference to this one. (It's a short story prompt fic)
I don't even know what's going on anymore. Normally, that would be a bad thing, but in this case...
Answer: get more seeds. A LOT MORE SEEDS.
I thought this is a one-shot, I come in to find it's continuing. dude, way to pull one out of left-field.
2221803 You say that like it's a bad thing. Also, thanks for that link. Love finding Twi shipping fics I haven't read before.
2221927 I have been known to have that effect on people...
2221936 She still has most of that twenty pound bag sitting in a closet... and yes, it will come up later.
Why didn't the captain stay?
2222051 Because Twilight has not officially agreed to anything yet.
I think my entire night was made simply by seeing that this had been continued, then I read it and now I know that my night has been made. SQUEEEEEEEEE
The image of a royal guard, with their eternally neutral expression, while the princess stands there and explains how he volunteered to be Twilight romantic parter, has just left me in stitches.
excellently funny chapter.
I think it would have been better if this stayed a one-shot. The initial chapter did its concept well, and its plot was complete. Without the driving force of Twilight trying and failing to study birds, this chapter's plot and humor aren't as cohesive.
This is going to end in Luna and Dash fighting over Twilight isn't it?
Well that escalated quickly ....
It has been continued hazza
2222776 no that's to simple it's all a elaborate plan to plan to get more bird seeds.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/222/545/27720%20-%20i_need_an_adult%20secret_butt_fun%20spike%20twilight_sparkle.jpg
Could it get more awkward? Probably. Will it get more awkward? Most definetly.
Capitain awkward strikes again
2221342 yeah no kidding! that was seriously a shot out of left field not that I mind, Im liking both chapters
so what would the "molest-y" side of luna be called? early in this chapter she seemed to be bordering on pretty severely rape-y towards twi...
deffinitely on my top ten funniest fics list! glad i had favorited or i wouldn't have known.
2222024
If anything came across as sounding like a bad thing in there, I apologize. If it was in response to the image I posted, well.. It's still not a bad thing, lol.
Also, you're welcome for pointing the fic out. I think that's the first time Someone's taken a (somewhat subtle) reading suggestion from me. Today was a good day indeed.
2222679 An unavoidable side effect. Chapter one has it's own issues, and I'm still surprised it got the response that it did. I'm not going to pretend it was a strong piece to begin with; the execution was pretty sloppy, honestly. So, for me, deciding to build a continuation of the story was more about having fun with the project and acquiescing to requests for a sequel than focusing on reusing the same one-off punchline in different ways.
2224642 First chapter was originally a one shot. It went from conception to published in less than a day. I'd be surprised if it didn't have issues. That said, you are correct. Had I not rushed it out I could have dealt with those issues. I'll just have to be more careful in the future.
Thank you both for taking the time to leave a critique. I always appreciate them.
2227337 While the outcome was essentially Luna giving Twilight unwanted attention, the nuance of the situation is that Luna is utterly unaware that her attention is unwanted while Twilight is having trouble finding a good chance to speak up. I hope that is coming across.
2228090 Nothing to apologize for. I was totally poking fun at that pic. It's a perfectly legit question given the situation.
Where is Cloud Kicker when you need her?
Just think, Twi can control the mind of any pegasus pony she wants with bird seed. Oh the implications...
2231399 I fail to see how Cloud Kicker would make this any less awkward for Twilight. The last thing she wants is more unsolicited sexual advances.
So naturally, she'll be getting plenty of that...
Fun as it might be to have the Winning Pony herself in here, I plan to be keep this ficverse self-contained.
wait there's a sequel...
whoa
sweet
2221637
I know the feeling . . . it's still brilliant (especially my editing suggestions, they're the brilliant-est of all)
The first time I saw the pic on EqD, I thought to myself, "self, I should write a one-shot about that." Sadly, I was elbow-deep in my own fic, and sinking fast, so I just didn't have time.
Thank Celestia somepony competent actually took the lead and did it for me. It's way way better than anything I could have come up with on my own.
2231767
I'm with you on Cloud Kicker, it would just spoil the story.
Also, never commented on the first chapter, but, well, what I said above.
Keep making us poor mortals laugh
I do think the shit duth hit the fan
2243646 As I mentioned here: 2230517, so do I. Regardless, I don't see trying to fix that chapter being worth the time it would take. I know what's wrong, so I'll try to avoid making the same mistakes again.
Thanks for the reconfirmation on that. Actual criticism is always appreciated. It's a lot harder to improve if I start thinking I'm doing well. No time for complacency, ya know.
Huh, this chapter felt almost like a different story altogether. Such a complete shift in tone. The first one had a few details that didn't make a ton of sense, but they were easy to ignore, and the story was a pretty light sort of amusing, with just a touch of suggestiveness at the end. This one... whoosh. It's still its own sort of entertaining, just wasn't what I was expecting, and Luna's antics are a little harder to simply accept.
I very nearly didn't even notice this had been continued at all, though. I never add one-shots to my favorites, since that's really just a tracking list, and I only noticed this had a 2nd chapter because I apparently didn't remove it from my read later list after I read the first chapter. This site really needs to re-enable searching by read status.
2285681 Yes, when I ended up deciding to make a follow up I ran into a few issues. One was that the original didn't have much effort put into it which left some noticeable flaws. The other being that the joke was already played. continuing the same joke wouldn't have made a good follow up. In the end, I was left with either doing a complete rewrite to fix the issues and tie in better to what I came up with as a follow up, or just run with it as is. Granted, I could have just plunked it as a separate story with some tweaking, but I was, admittedly, a bit lazy about it. I settled on the idea that since this is what spawned the follow up story I'd just put them together and adjust the tags (added the romance tag since the focus is shifting in that direction). It started with the idea that it would be posted separately, but I ended up just posting it as a new chapter instead for various reasons.
Hardly the best solution in hindsight, but that's what I get for being lazy and indecisive with the whole thing.
And yeah, that's exactly the reason I just slap everything I liked reading into favorites now, just in case something I like continues to update. I'd still rather have our separate tracking/fave lists of old, but i'm not exactly the site overlord. Totally agreed on the search-by-read-status.
Me. Like!
2221153 Threesome
Oh dear, I think someone is misinterpreting the 'gift' of seeds hanging that hung outside the windowsill.
Crazy enough to be interesting without being stupid. Keep it up.