• Published 8th Jan 2013
  • 2,090 Views, 30 Comments

Scootaloo's Last Wish - scootaloo55



this story is about Scootaloo's unbreakable bond with Rainbow Dash and when dash finds out the younger filly is orphaned and homeless, she makes it her duty to provide a home for her. but that comes with concequences.

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She Lives on, Inside Me

Chapter 6: She Lives On, Inside Me

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom didn’t turn up to school the next day and Cherilee had the day off. There was a Funeral on, Scootaloo’s Funeral, and most had turned up, many of which hadn’t known the filly that had put a sense of adventure into the hearts of her friends. Even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon turned up, and said their speech. Mainly out of guilt. They really did admire the young pony. Each took their turn to speak, with only a precious few being really heard. Applebloom climbed the steps and stood next to the small hoof-crafted coffin and placed the pegasi’s blanket and scooter inside it, next to the bestest friend she had ever had, who now layed still, with a peaceful sort of smile on her face. “S-she was tah bestest friend a-ah could ever have w-wished for.” She said through sobs of pain. “I-I… she only just fulfilled her dream… she learnt t-tah fly a-and got her mark and I-I-I….” Applebloom couldn’t talk anymore. Her eyes were full of saltwater and her voice was muffled. It wasn’t long before Applejack ushered her away from her friend’s final resting place. Sweetie belle was next. She sang a heart-warming song, in honour of her beloved friend.

Though it was only short,
You have lived your life,
You have fulfilled your dreams,
And walked into the light.
You may be gone,
But you are forever in our hearts,
We will miss you,
Our angel, Scootaloo.

She sang it beautifully, before breaking into fresh tears anew. Rarity placed a beautiful silver cloth on the coffin’s lid. It was embroided with gold and laced with diamonds. There was a picture of a pair of wings and a halo, made with sapphires. A tear escaped from Rarity’s eyes as she closed them and walked away with sweetie who was still crying. Even Pinkie left a cupcake and her hair was unusually straight and she didn’t talk for the whole time. Then it was Rainbow’s turn. She stood silent at the coffin’s table and cried silently. “S-she was m-my secret joy. The o-one who k-kept me going, motivated…. I-It’s m-m-m-my fault and I-I’m so s-s-sor-rry-y-y!!!” Rainbow pulled something out from a small bag and placed it on the coffin, it was her pride and joy, her ‘best young flier’ award. She wept over the coffin and stroked Scootaloo’s mane before finally leaving with the rest of the gang.

The town felt like a ghost town. Abandoned, with nopony’s happy squeals or giggles. Everypony was at home, mourning a loss of a young filly many hadn’t known. Outside the library, everyone stood around Rainbow, who had felt the sudden loss like a bomb exploded in her heart. “S-she’s really is gone…” Fluttershy said. There was another sudden flash, much like Scootaloo’s and something else had appeared. Rainbow Dash’s Cutie mark had changed. Everyone’s jaws dropped open, their eyes wide with shock. She still had the original cloud and rainbow lightning bolt, but now the cloud had a beautiful pair of wings, with one silver and one gold, and with a small purple lightning bolt in the middle of her rainbow one. The blue mare stopped crying and smiled. “No she isn’t… She lives on, inside me.”

-END-

-Rainbow Dash then went on to become a member of the Wonderbolts, just like Scootaloo had wished for. She often visited Scootaloo, mainly in dreams and visions. She knew they probably were only conjured from her imagination, even if they felt real, but she knew that one day, they really would meet again.

Author's Note:

so thats it. i know i stuffed up alot of grammar and had a few spelling mistakes but, hey. thats the joys of being 13.

Comments ( 22 )

I haven't read it, but I can tell the description needs work. Firstly, the whole first paragraph is completely unnecessary. It doesn't tell us anything that might draw us into your story. Now, the main part. Instead of writing along the lines of "In my story this happens blah blah", it should be told more like the blurb of a novel.

Nitpicks:

basica;;y

Typo. Honestly, you should have noticed that.

PROLOGUE (read first!!!)

Yeah, no shit. Also, the block caps are unnecessary.


That's it from me. Oh, and by the way, avoid using emoticons in anything but the comments. It looks unprofessional.

Read it, I liked it, then again I like sad stories, Also please press enter every time a different character talks, makes reading sooooooo much easier.

MY GAWD . THIS IS SAD. :applecry: :raritycry: :fluttercry:

no need to be so annoyed by it. its my first story and i still ahvent really got around this website yet so dont judge or discriminate so cruelly.:unsuresweetie:

No offence. Disliked because you have no grammar. You misspell most of your words, and the plot is UTTERLY HORRIBLE. I really don't know how this got past moderation. :facehoof:

Comment posted by scootaloo55 deleted Jan 10th, 2013

1932683 you do know people have feelings right? i said not to be harsh and if you didn't like it, you didn't have to act like it was the end of the world.... thanks to your comment ive lost all motivation for fixing 'scootaloo's last wish' and now i dont really want to publish 'a hunter's heart'................. :pinkiesad2:

Needs a little polish yes, but overall I liked it and it was a good story :ajsmug: Keep up the good work! :eeyup:

i liked this story. it was good.:twilightsmile: and made me teary eyed.:raritydespair:

1932683 well you didnt need to be a jerk about it. just because of spelling errors doesnt mean you need to be so rude about it. and the plot was not horrible. the plot was creative. my point being. if you dont know how to speak with constructive critisism then you should manage a way to not be extremely rude.

1948339 I really disliked the story. Yes I was a jerk but I'm a grammar nazi. I will shout at anyone for making mistakes. :P :facehoof:

1934537 Well i'm sorry I was a bit of a critic, and well, a bitch, really. I shout when people make mistakes. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? :fluttershysad:

1960458 well i do say everyone is entitled to their opinions.

1960667 no hard feelings, i over-reacted a bit but its not really a ig deal, everyone can have their own opinions, and that was yours, so i accept that! :twilightsheepish:

It was beautiful, and it made me sad. I enjoyed this story, and I gonna Favorite it.:pinkiesad2:

Really good for being written by a 13 year old, props to you. Sad and detailed, I like that.

heh, ye have talent kid

This was really great! It was a bit rushed in some areas but other than that you did a great job! I'm also a 13 year old writer so I know how you feel. Keep writing, you have a lot of potential!

nmnmnmnm
( ) <-- heaven
UUUUUUUUU
E:scootangel:3 sxootaloo with wingsnflying

Well fart on my dick and call me Santa.

Ehhhh, this is ok at best... I like homeless Scootaloo fics but this is just really really badly-written. I get that this was made by a kid (according to the comments), but it's still just not that great. Usually I ignore the occasional typo or dumb section of a story but the whole fic and how the characters reacted to things was just dumb.

damn dude, that was harsh, but a good story, even if Scootaloo died I feel bad for her

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