• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2012

ShamelessClop


Hey there. I write shameless clop on this account because I'm too ashamed to post it on my regular account. Hurray.

Comments ( 14 )

Haven't I seen this alicorn before..?

Way too fast. Slow the hell down. This idea needs to be dragged out over six-thousand words. I feel that you just wrote this to fulfill the 1k word count limit.

and what>>1724188 said.

DERPYYYYYY

Way too short.

Yeah, bit fast but not the first time read a story like such. HOWEVER, first time (as far back as I can think anyways) I've read a story where somebody put punctuation on the inside AND outside of quotation marks, if has something following it. :derpyderp2: Don't really need them outside and shouldn't be anyways, where you have dialogue followed by something after it. First example:

"I, uh, I forgot...", she admitted.

Don't need that final comma outside quotation marks and in all similar cases with test outside of it.

Just slow down with clop scenes and put a little more detail in it, and you may attract more people! This one I did think was a little sweet, even with the fastness of everything. I think you have potential, so will toss a watch your way!

1726043 I know right....

And it was kinda rushed.....:unsuresweetie:

Wow. That escalated quickly...

1755417
That is exactly what I thought. This was a VERY fast paced fic that just went straight to 'da fuckin'. A little bit more detail and story really never hurts a story, even if it is a clopfic. Keep up the writing.

Boy...that escalated quickly. I mean, that was really fast. I kinda want to go write a one-shot just to make up for the lack of story this doesn't have.

1.) Derpy*

2.) Spitfire gets sex just by staring? When I do that, I get a fucking restraining order. So not fair. Sexism against men does exist.

"Aww, I missed you too!", Ditzy said, moving over to lean on Spitfire. The orange mare blushed, her cheeks becoming a deep red. Her face got even redder when Ditzy nuzzled her neck. Suddenly, she felt her friend's lips on her own as Ditzy pulled her in for a kiss.

Well, that escalated quickly. You have to build up more, man.

Login or register to comment