- Member Since 2nd Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2012
ShamelessClop
Hey there. I write shameless clop on this account because I'm too ashamed to post it on my regular account. Hurray.
ShamelessClop
Joined 2nd Dec, 2012 ·
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- DrTechno · 3.5k words · 42 5 · 1.4k views
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Kinky.
Haven't I seen this alicorn before..?
Way too fast. Slow the hell down. This idea needs to be dragged out over six-thousand words. I feel that you just wrote this to fulfill the 1k word count limit.
and what>>1724188 said.
The title alone is filled with so much win!!!
bizarrebytes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/thats-hot.png
DERPYYYYYY
Way too short.
Yeah, bit fast but not the first time read a story like such. HOWEVER, first time (as far back as I can think anyways) I've read a story where somebody put punctuation on the inside AND outside of quotation marks, if has something following it.
Don't really need them outside and shouldn't be anyways, where you have dialogue followed by something after it. First example:
Don't need that final comma outside quotation marks and in all similar cases with test outside of it.
Just slow down with clop scenes and put a little more detail in it, and you may attract more people! This one I did think was a little sweet, even with the fastness of everything. I think you have potential, so will toss a watch your way!
1726043 I know right....
And it was kinda rushed.....
Wow. That escalated quickly...
1755417
That is exactly what I thought. This was a VERY fast paced fic that just went straight to 'da fuckin'. A little bit more detail and story really never hurts a story, even if it is a clopfic. Keep up the writing.
Boy...that escalated quickly. I mean, that was really fast. I kinda want to go write a one-shot just to make up for the lack of story this doesn't have.
1.) Derpy*
2.) Spitfire gets sex just by staring? When I do that, I get a fucking restraining order. So not fair. Sexism against men does exist.
Well, that escalated quickly. You have to build up more, man.