An update! Awesome, fun and emotional roller coaster of a chapter. The scene with Raindrops's parents was genuinely upsetting, so well done, I hope they find her soon. Also was that an Alicorn Amulet reference? I think I got the RD joke now that you mention it. I like that Trixie's confusion has not been immediately resolved, I felt it was a bit sudden in the earlier parts of the chapter if that makes sense, or at least that the realization seemed to be moving to fast given who the main character is.
How very Raindropish to run off crying when she encounters a problem that can't be solved by stoically ignoring it or by punching it really hard. Still funny chapter though, kinda weird how suddenly it changes from a comedy to a drama.
It's almost too bad this isn't a canon story. Can you imagine Lulamoon and Sparkle trying to explain the events of this to their Canon!verse counterparts?
I... I... Is it too much to hope right now for them to have a good reconciliation? I was at first in this for the humor but now, I'm in it for the drama. Sounds sappy but yes.
...and it's good too, very good. Loved the parts about the unseen servants and the... um, anatomically correct variant spell. It is, however, also just a touch disconcerting. Not that such a spell exists, but as it makes me wonder if such a variation exists in both genders. Naturally it should, stallions get... urges too, but at the same time that feels somewhat more exploitative, even though it shouldn't be. As Twilight pointed out, they are just magical constructs with no sentience or free will, but still... curse society and it sexual double standards.
Irrational moral quandaries aside, it strikes me that if Trixie did learn the unseen servants spell (anatomical correctness optional) she could probably use it to construct realistic illusionary ponies that didn't just fool the sense of touch, but that actually had a tangible physical presence. That is to say, she could cast the unseen servant spell and then layer an illusion over top of it, like the way she did to create her Lyra disguise in Helping Hands.
...
Anyway, I'll reserve comments about the situation with Raindrops for now. Things are in a very sad place right now, and I'd just as soon hold out for the inventible happy ending (blessed/cursed double meanings) so that I can praise you properly.
On a more humorous note, I loved Twilight's disappointment when Trixie's illusory orgy subsided. I might need some alone time to contemplate the scene in that kitchen some more... or a cold shower.
I wonder how nuch mileage Lyra and Bon Bon gets out of unseen servant...
Or rather, I wo der if it's possile to take the anatomical part, and attach it not to an invisible servant, but instead attach it to the proper place on a pony, who can then use it.
2669508 Trixie's certain that she might feel something more for Raindrops than just friendly love. What she isn't certain of is whether the feeling is genuine or just created by her heat; or if it's genuine and amplified by her heat; or if it's entirely independent from her heat.
“Actually on the whole Rain Sprinkles isn’t really the best author…never really gets you invested in her characters, she just focuses on the sex. I prefer stories with more romance.”
Trixie slowly turned to face Raindrops at that. “What?”
Raindrops blushed herself. “I can have hobbies,” she answered indignantly. “Who says I can’t?”
2670340 Oh, I understood that, my apologies I probably misspoke, I just felt given Trixie... Trixienes it might take her a bit mroe time to get to that point of consideration, though as I said I think it's being handled very well overall and my quibble was of an extremely minor nature, i'm not even sure it's really a problem, the heat may be forcing matters more than I gave it credit for. heh sorry. TY for the reply!
To me, it's not really all that different than a blow-up doll.
...and intellectually I agree 100%. It's just that an animate, semi-antonymous, "blow-up doll" triggers a reflexive emotional response, despite the fact that I should know better.
Then again, I've read far more deviant stuff without getting even close to squicked. That this story can evoke such an emotive response is probably a testament to the quality of your writing. Everything here is purely fictional, and not even canon to said fiction, but yet it carries a weight of "realness".
This spell functions like unseen servant, except the created force is shaped like a member of the caster's species. The physical gender of the servant is chosen upon casting. In addition to the tasks an unseen servant can normally perform, an anatomically correct unseen servant can, to put it politely, make proper use of its correct anatomy. Note that since the servant is mindless, it will perform any action continuously until told to stop.
I know this story isn't canon, but if you take something away from it to the canon stories, I hope it's (after Crisis) Lunaverse's Trixie and Twilight devolping the odd friendship they're displaying here. It's - at least for me - the best thing about this story. Not to say the rest doesn't make for an entertaining read as well
That was a LoL moment if there ever was one^^ Trixie overpowering Twilight? Without the Alicorn Amulet, that's an unlikely prospect at best. Of course Ponyville is a) too busy with the drama to notice and b) probably wishing to believe that even if, deep down, they know it's a load of bull.
Also: Nice work with Raindrop's family. My own headcanon regarding Snails is that his special talent is strength- Snips and he managed to drag Trixie around on her wheelless cart, and they're only boys; my theory is that he did most of the work there. Plus his Cutie Mark is a snail, and how many animals do you know who carry a house on their back wherever they go? That'd fit in well with Raindrops.
nooooo! an update at last and its awesome but then it ends! i mean i know it has to end but still totally sucks. but its amazing, latest chapter has me hooked all over again and im rooting for the raindrops trixie pairing. theres definitely more to them then just the heat i feel
2670513 Ha! By posting this you show that I'm not the only one who has paged through The Book of Erotic Fantasy d20!
Actually there's some good stuff mechanics-wise in there. For example, there's a spellcasting class based off of Constitution; the Akashic, I think. I found that fascinating, and re-built the Sorcerer class to be based off of Constitution and Charisma instead of just Charisma (I've modified all spellcasting classes to rely on 2 stats and not just 1).
Damn, it's been so long I can't rightly remember what happened previously. Ah, well. Damn, I wanna hug Trixie here. :( And Twilight... you know things are off-kilter when she makes sense about this.
You know, even with the non-canonicalness of this, I really hope that in S2 we get some more of Twilight just randomly hanging out in Trixie's house. That ought to be all sorts of entertaining, and I could see her feeling uncertain enough about her place in Ponyville to seek out one of the ponies she went through the events in Crisis with.
2673664 Yea, I love that too. It's too fun not to be cannon. In fact the whole I was going to do something out of bitterness and stubborn pride but got distracted dynamic works, because yea, still a version of Twilight. The whole whole dynamic between them is just great, despite the fact that obviously they both have reasons not to act remotely pleasant to each other they also have good reasons to do so, so they just do.
2670513 Level 1? Are you sure? I mean, 'sculpt spell' uses up a slot a level higher, and will only permit a specific set of shapes.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem that much more powerful than the original... 2671564 You realise now that you'll almost certainly have to include some form of 'Bigby's Hoof', eh?
2684873 Hmmm- I think I have that lying around on my computer somewhere, actually; among the other 15+ gig of roleplaying material in that folder. Never got around to reading it properly, though. Mayhap I'll go take a looksie.
And nothing forthcoming about 'Bigby's Hoof'? Ah, what a shame. Maybe later on.^^
The heat of the moment that shone in your eyes! Sorry, I had to. That verse runs through my head everything I see the cover art. This story amuses me very much. Trixie/Raindrops is now in my Lunaverse headcanon.
I made another Rainbow Dash 20% joke! I'm weak!
You have to look for it, though.
An update! Awesome, fun and emotional roller coaster of a chapter. The scene with Raindrops's parents was genuinely upsetting, so well done, I hope they find her soon. Also was that an Alicorn Amulet reference? I think I got the RD joke now that you mention it. I like that Trixie's confusion has not been immediately resolved, I felt it was a bit sudden in the earlier parts of the chapter if that makes sense, or at least that the realization seemed to be moving to fast given who the main character is.
Another update! Huhzaa's and handsprings!
2669464 Because Dash got twenty percent more servants.
Nice and subtle... for what the story is.
Ahw, every time this one updates I get so exited that I immediately gobble it up, and then I feel bad for not savoring it better...
Also, just wondering... Can we expect the next chapter soonish, or are you gonna keep going with/finish Crisis on Two Equestrias first?
How very Raindropish to run off crying when she encounters a problem that can't be solved by stoically ignoring it or by punching it really hard. Still funny chapter though, kinda weird how suddenly it changes from a comedy to a drama.
It's almost too bad this isn't a canon story. Can you imagine Lulamoon and Sparkle trying to explain the events of this to their Canon!verse counterparts?
I... I... Is it too much to hope right now for them to have a good reconciliation? I was at first in this for the humor but now, I'm in it for the drama. Sounds sappy but yes.
It lives, yay!
...and it's good too, very good. Loved the parts about the unseen servants and the... um, anatomically correct variant spell. It is, however, also just a touch disconcerting. Not that such a spell exists, but as it makes me wonder if such a variation exists in both genders. Naturally it should, stallions get... urges too, but at the same time that feels somewhat more exploitative, even though it shouldn't be. As Twilight pointed out, they are just magical constructs with no sentience or free will, but still... curse society and it sexual double standards.
Irrational moral quandaries aside, it strikes me that if Trixie did learn the unseen servants spell (anatomical correctness optional) she could probably use it to construct realistic illusionary ponies that didn't just fool the sense of touch, but that actually had a tangible physical presence. That is to say, she could cast the unseen servant spell and then layer an illusion over top of it, like the way she did to create her Lyra disguise in Helping Hands.
...
Anyway, I'll reserve comments about the situation with Raindrops for now. Things are in a very sad place right now, and I'd just as soon hold out for the inventible happy ending (blessed/cursed double meanings) so that I can praise you properly.
On a more humorous note, I loved Twilight's disappointment when Trixie's illusory orgy subsided. I might need some alone time to contemplate the scene in that kitchen some more... or a cold shower.
This story is so good on so many levels!
I don't need to know about the "Lunaverse" to know a good story when i see one. I'll be tracking this now
C'mon Trixie! You can find her! Just know that, she doesn't hate you.
Hey, maybe ask Pinkie. Pinkie knows things.
Twilight, you kinky mare. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
TriDrops. I SHIP IT.
2669464
It hadn't occurred to me that the servant thing was a 20% joke until you brought it up. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png Fairly clever though.
I wonder how nuch mileage Lyra and Bon Bon gets out of unseen servant...
Or rather, I wo der if it's possile to take the anatomical part, and attach it not to an invisible servant, but instead attach it to the proper place on a pony, who can then use it.
...makes ya think.
And proving once again why I love your writing, clever and comedic, rare quality when compared to daytime television
2669508
Trixie's certain that she might feel something more for Raindrops than just friendly love. What she isn't certain of is whether the feeling is genuine or just created by her heat; or if it's genuine and amplified by her heat; or if it's entirely independent from her heat.
2669552
2669602
This is on a "whenever" schedule, and is a lower priority than Crisis. Still, I would like to bring it to a close before Season 2 starts.
2669808
I'd assume a female variant exists. To me, it's not really all that different than a blow-up doll.
2670064>>2670147
Aww, shucks. That's mighty kind of you to say.
2670119
Bad thoughts! Bad!
2669770
2670340
Oh, I understood that, my apologies I probably misspoke, I just felt given Trixie... Trixienes it might take her a bit mroe time to get to that point of consideration, though as I said I think it's being handled very well overall and my quibble was of an extremely minor nature, i'm not even sure it's really a problem, the heat may be forcing matters more than I gave it credit for. heh sorry. TY for the reply!
2670340
...and intellectually I agree 100%. It's just that an animate, semi-antonymous, "blow-up doll" triggers a reflexive emotional response, despite the fact that I should know better.
Then again, I've read far more deviant stuff without getting even close to squicked. That this story can evoke such an emotive response is probably a testament to the quality of your writing. Everything here is purely fictional, and not even canon to said fiction, but yet it carries a weight of "realness".
You have only yourself to blame for this:
Unseen Servant, Anatomically Correct
School conjuration (creation); Level bard 1, magus 1, sorceror/wizard 1, summoner 1, witch 1
This spell functions like unseen servant, except the created force is shaped like a member of the caster's species. The physical gender of the servant is chosen upon casting. In addition to the tasks an unseen servant can normally perform, an anatomically correct unseen servant can, to put it politely, make proper use of its correct anatomy. Note that since the servant is mindless, it will perform any action continuously until told to stop.
I know this story isn't canon, but if you take something away from it to the canon stories, I hope it's (after Crisis) Lunaverse's Trixie and Twilight devolping the odd friendship they're displaying here. It's - at least for me - the best thing about this story. Not to say the rest doesn't make for an entertaining read as well
That was a LoL moment if there ever was one^^ Trixie overpowering Twilight? Without the Alicorn Amulet, that's an unlikely prospect at best. Of course Ponyville is a) too busy with the drama to notice and b) probably wishing to believe that even if, deep down, they know it's a load of bull.
Also: Nice work with Raindrop's family. My own headcanon regarding Snails is that his special talent is strength- Snips and he managed to drag Trixie around on her wheelless cart, and they're only boys; my theory is that he did most of the work there. Plus his Cutie Mark is a snail, and how many animals do you know who carry a house on their back wherever they go? That'd fit in well with Raindrops.
woo hoo Great
2670288 Yep, an egghead and proud of it.
2670340
Oh come on, you write about invisible sex servants, and you say I have bad thoughts?
Ah well, let's go down the rabbit hole a bit deeper then. (heh...hole)
...I wonder if Lyra showed off the wonders of her teachings for Bon Bon after they saved the world. Would certainly explain the screaming......
You know, one lf these days I should really write what actually did make Bon Bon scream so loudly.....
...Oh dear sweet lord, I'm actually thinking about this, RDD, what the hell has your awesome story done to me?!?!?!
Ah D&Ds wonderful Power Perversion Potential.
Also, Awwww
nooooo! an update at last and its awesome but then it ends! i mean i know it has to end but still totally sucks. but its amazing, latest chapter has me hooked all over again and im rooting for the raindrops trixie pairing. theres definitely more to them then just the heat i feel
2670513
Ha! By posting this you show that I'm not the only one who has paged through The Book of Erotic Fantasy d20!
Actually there's some good stuff mechanics-wise in there. For example, there's a spellcasting class based off of Constitution; the Akashic, I think. I found that fascinating, and re-built the Sorcerer class to be based off of Constitution and Charisma instead of just Charisma (I've modified all spellcasting classes to rely on 2 stats and not just 1).
RDD, I feel you should be informed I'm gonna be writing something glorious this month, and it's all your fault.
Damn, it's been so long I can't rightly remember what happened previously. Ah, well. Damn, I wanna hug Trixie here. :( And Twilight... you know things are off-kilter when she makes sense about this.
Oh my god.
You know, even with the non-canonicalness of this, I really hope that in S2 we get some more of Twilight just randomly hanging out in Trixie's house. That ought to be all sorts of entertaining, and I could see her feeling uncertain enough about her place in Ponyville to seek out one of the ponies she went through the events in Crisis with.
2673664 Yea, I love that too. It's too fun not to be cannon. In fact the whole I was going to do something out of bitterness and stubborn pride but got distracted dynamic works, because yea, still a version of Twilight. The whole whole dynamic between them is just great, despite the fact that obviously they both have reasons not to act remotely pleasant to each other they also have good reasons to do so, so they just do.
Twilight's horn, or Trixie's?
It's good to see some people use mature/sex tagged stories for more than just clopfics. Well done, very well done.
This fic makes me feel all warm and tingly inside
2670513
Level 1? Are you sure? I mean, 'sculpt spell' uses up a slot a level higher, and will only permit a specific set of shapes.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem that much more powerful than the original...
2671564
You realise now that you'll almost certainly have to include some form of 'Bigby's Hoof', eh?
2684761
It's identical to the original, it's just anatomically correct.
It was actually pulled from an actual (if 3rd party) D&D book called the Book of Erotic Fantasy.
2684873
Hmmm- I think I have that lying around on my computer somewhere, actually; among the other 15+ gig of roleplaying material in that folder. Never got around to reading it properly, though. Mayhap I'll go take a looksie.
And nothing forthcoming about 'Bigby's Hoof'? Ah, what a shame. Maybe later on.^^
The heat of the moment that shone in your eyes!
Sorry, I had to. That verse runs through my head everything I see the cover art.
This story amuses me very much. Trixie/Raindrops is now in my Lunaverse headcanon.
...Please, let me just speak to her – ”
I'm so ashamed. I read that line first as ...Please, let me just spank her -"
So Twilight has some issues of her own to worry about it seems... Why does she keep popping up anyway?
......wait, WHAT? This story is serious now?
0.o
o.0
.o0
o0o0.0.o
Hmmmm, interesting lok at an asexual's feelings when she finds someone who she really cares about...
Also, power perversion!!!