I love you so much. I hate to admit it, but no pony in the world matters to me more than you. But it has to end. I have to stop you. No matter what.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Commence read.
Hm. Applejack? Haven't heard form her yet. Twist has to try and get this to work and Diamond seems to be up to something. Fancy Pants will have something...
quality work as always; bravo
Its here, its here its here!
Yay
I love this story, so much content
Reading this story in genuinely the highlight of my week! Thanks for writing it and updating so often.
Stay awesome!
1815806
I don't think Diamond is up to anything. She now believes Silver is truly dead, she's just looking for closure. Unfortunately, as Rarity likes to see foals suffer, she'll probably tell Diamond the most hurtful thing she can think of, believing it may be her last chance to hurt a foal. Oh man, this story has me thinking horrible things now, wow.
one can barely call this a clopfic anymore. it's just such a great tale. this series will definitely be one of the ones i'll remember the most. pity it doesn't get the featured status it deserves.
Nice chapter!
How guards and Twist(especially Twist) can tell ten minutes, if Gallry has no clocks?(ch.7: "There were no windows to mark the passage of day into night, and no clocks or calendars")
Did you infer that Applejack was beating up applebloom and a drunk earlier on, or am I messing up my stories? I just want to get a good sense of where Applejack lies on the morality scale, since all of the elements of harmony seem either a little bit messed up or full on crazy. Looking forward to the next update!
1816825
If Rarity still got her priorities straight, then she'd try to use Diamond to reach Sweetie Belle by any means neccessary rather than to humiliate her for amusement:"But Rarity quickly found that she could not lose herself in thought[about raping a foal]. Every time she tried, she thought of Belle.".
Though if shelll convince AJ to reach Belle, then Diamondabuse is a possibility.
Also if I'm not mistaken we haven't heard about Sweetie for eternity since chapter 5. She better be planning something.
Missing apostrophe in "Aurora's".
You left out an apostrophe in "'cause".
You left out a "was".
Wait. When did Fancy get there?
There're also some comma splices and inconsistent use of the pluperfect, but I'm not gonna list all those here.
1792515
So how old does a gallery foal have to be before they "graduate", so to speak?
1819902 That's a good point, didn't think about it that way. And yes we haven't heard from Sweetie in ages, presumably she's staying with Twilight, or Applejack. Actually I bet that's why Applejack is there
1821839
Ack, that's supposed to say "Filthy," not Fancy. Sorry, this chapter is a bit messier than usual in the grammar department. I was a bit sleep deprived when I wrote most of it, and had little time to proof it. I fixed the mistake, as well as the others you pointed out. Thanks for catching them!
1819013
Nope, there's nothing like that in this story. You must be thinking of another one. AJ's had practically no part in this series until now.
1821858
Ah, this was another discarded subplot. There's no set age, really, but after a certain point the patrons start to ignore the older foals, and the guards take notice of this. Aurora is the oldest foal there right now, but there used to be some older ones who outlived their usefulness to foalphiles, and were sold off to brothels that catered to clientele who preferred ponies of legal age.
1819902
1822578
Anyone wondering what's happened to Sweetie Belle since the arrest will want to read the next chapter.
1817562
Well you see, it's actually all been explained before, because in paragraph 12 of chapter 6 of Twisted, in the scene where Derpy flies in through the window and begins reciting the lyrics to Don't Stop Me Now, it clearly states that...
Nah, just kidding, you got me. This is a bit of a contradiction that I did not catch.
In my head, where I often think up details that don't make it into the story (because giving every last detail attention would grind the plot to a complete halt) I imagine that Twist was expected to keep time in her head. She knew she made it by the deadline because a guard would have punished her if she had been late. The guards, unlike the foals, are given watches, so they can do stuff like this, and also keep track of basic things like when their shifts are over. None of these details ended up in the story, though. My bad.
More Rarity! How I've missed her! I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
In case anyone is interested, I did another author's notes thingie, but for the sake of not cluttering up the comments form, I gave them their own blog post.
Oh wow, I had no idea Four Little Foals had a sequel. I read it and loved it, I should read this one.
>bits of magic that have been pressed unto the scroll
Is that meant to be "unto"? //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png
>whatever favors you need to.you need to.
Next chapter pls.
ooooh, the story is really getting interesting. as i have read all your series until this chapter i can't wait to see other chapters.
I'm sorry for Silver Spoon's love for Rarity, but i'm happy that she is in jail, near to her destruction. I wish that is physical though
Really, really good story, bro :)
Every time I read your stories, I'm hanging on every word. Great series, and because the first story ended so bleakly, I never know how sad or happy you'll make me feel.
Oh wow, Applejack...
With how evil Rarity is, I'm not sure what to expect from her.
Apparently, M. Night Shyamalan writes on fimfiction.
2864202
Now, now. Let's not go insulting Ham.
Applejack? Dafuq?
This gets more and more interesting every chapter.
Aurora should try to force Twist to tell her the story.
It's the Dream kids that are the most disturbing to me. Like Pip's commentary how empty their lives are, it feels like a scathing commentary on the sort of person who'd read this sort of story in the first place.
ok this klifhanger ending is just rich in this chapter xD
now she has to face the "walking talking liedetector" xD