Applejack has always been protective of Apple Bloom; especially after their family has endured great tragedy. When a Social Worker comes calling to collect her sister; how will the Apple family handle this new development?
An orgin story in a way. the backstory of applejack , big mac, and lil applebloom. their mom died soon after applebloom was born and their dad is called away to canterlot. now its up to the siblings and their granny to run the farm.
First off, wall of text. Use text formatting and paragraphs to make it readable.
Secondly, grammar. Your best friend. Fix it and it helps you get much more positive feedback.
Thirdly, CAPITAL I's, even mid-sentence. "I'm happy, am I?"
Fourthly, always when someone else speaks, start a new line.
Consider editing this in order to make it more readable.
Here. You're welcome.
NotTheOP ,
i will be fixing errors after this weekend.
Daffodil ,
that was a bit rude.. i am a beginner. i plan on fixing errors after this weekend... i have a sick kitty and a bday party to tend to...