• Published 30th Aug 2023
  • 7,307 Views, 68 Comments

We Need to Make Sure Anon is Still Single - RunicTreetops



Cadance and Twilight suspect that Anon might actually have a special somepony this Hearts and Hooves Day, and they're determined to prove he doesn't. Anon didn't know it was a secret.

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These Ponies Don't Know What Gaslighting Is

Author's Note:

Surprise! A second chapter!

Twilight snuggles up against her pillow just a little bit more than she already was. The tiniest of snores escapes her nose as she dreams of not being single anymore. All in all, she sleeps peacefully, even as the sun begins to peek over the horizon. Luckily for her, she has no prior engagements this morning, meaning she can get the rest she so desperately needs by sleeping in for once in her life.

...

"TWILIGHT!"

"AHH!"

Twilight is suddenly awoken by a scream, causing her to jump in place and fall off of her bed onto the floor. She lightly hits her head, and as she rubs her throbbing temple, she scrambles to get to her hooves.

"Wh-who, wha?!" Twilight peeks her head up over the bed, her covers still somewhat stuck to her thanks to her horn. Through blurry, tired eyes, she can see the faint outline of a pink mare blocking the sunlight from the window behind her, which is open. "C-Cadance?"

"Twilight, you need to get up! This is an emergency!"

"D-did you come in through my window?"

"That's not important right now, Twilight!"

Twilight groans as she shakes the bed sheets off of her and straightens out her bangs a little bit. She rubs her eyes to get the grogginess out of her system and does her best to give Cadance her attention.

"What's going on?"

"We have a MAJOR love problem on our hooves, Twilight."

"A... love problem?"

"You and your friends deal with friendship problems all the time, right? Well, I deal with love problems."

"Such as?"

"Not important. What IS important is that my Cadance Sense is going off."

"Your Cadance Sense?"

"An innate feeling I get when somepony has wronged me. A twitch of the tail, a flick of an ear. It's practically indecipherable sometimes, but today? Ooh, today I am hot on the trail of the perpetrator! It has led me to Ponyville, and there are only so many ponies it could have been!"

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to slow down. First of all, you have a Pinkie Sense? And it brought you here so that you can, what, find a mysterious pony that has 'wronged' you?"

"Precisely."

"..." Twilight stares at her sister-in-law, her disbelief and mild annoyance evident on her on face. "What could possibly be urgent about it? What's the worst thing it could be?"

"Oh, I'll TELL you what it could be! It could be..." Cadance looks back and forth throughout Twilight's room as if to make sure that no one is eavesdropping on them. "...Anon."

Twilight immediately groans.

"Cadaaaaaaaance, we went through this already last year!"

"EXACTLY! Hearts and Hooves Day is just a week away! What if he's getting desperate?!"

"If he is, it's because of what we did last year! Just leave him alone!"

"I'm sorry Twilight, but that's the one thing I absolutely cannot do. As the princess of love, it is my duty to resolve any love-related conflicts that might disturb the carefully preserved harmony of nature."

"...Which means you need to bother Anon?"

"It absolutely does."

Twilight rolls her eyes and starts getting back into bed.

"I'm sorry Cadance, but I'm not helping you with this again. You need to drop it. Just leave him be."

"But what if he has a marefriend now? Not only would that be extremely unprecedented, it would also mean that he DIDN'T TELL ME!"

"Sounds to me like your goals aren't as noble as you're trying to make them out to be."

"...Fine." Cadance turns and heads towards the door to Twilight's bedroom, magically throwing it open with a huff. "I'll solve this problem all on my own. And just you wait, I'll uncover whatever it is he's hiding from me!"

Cadance dramatically slams the door behind her as she exits, leaving Twilight alone once more. She sighs and uses telekinesis to close the window Cadance came through for some reason and closes her eyes, desperate to get just a bit more sleep.

Unfortunately, she immediately leaps out of bed in surprise again when her door gets thrown open seconds later.

"TWILIGHT!"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Twilight groans.

"He's gone! I KNEW something was up!"

"He doesn't even live here anymore!"

"W-wait, what?"

"He moved out about a month ago. Found his own place."

"Where?!"

"He went to..." Twilight suddenly sits upright. "...I don't actually know."

"You didn't ask where he lives?"

"I... I guess I didn't. Huh."

"You haven't gone to visit him or anything?"

"Things have been really busy lately, Cadance."

"Well, aren't you curious to see how he's doing?"

"..." Twilight thinks for a moment. She really should know where Anon lives. Why did it never occur to her to ask? What HAS he been up to? "...Ugh, fiiiiiiiiiiine. But we are NOT insulting anypony or throwing their doors open this time, got it?!"

"Yay!"


Cadance follows Twilight through Ponyville, taking in the crisp morning air as they walk. It isn't particularly lively yet, but ponies are gradually beginning to populate the space.

"Where are we going, Twilight?"

"Sugarcube Corner. If there's one pony who will know for certain where Anon lives, it's Pinkie Pie."

"Ooo, good call!"

The two conclude their conversation right as they arrive, the sickly sweet aroma of the confectionery filling their nostrils as they gently open the front door. Sure enough, standing behind the glass display case/countertop is Pinkie Pie, happily greeting the two of them with a smile.

"Hiya, Twilight! And hi, Princess Cadance! What brings you in here this morning?"

"Hey Pinkie, we just wanted to know-"

Cadance interrupts Twilight by slamming a hoof onto the counter and glaring at the party pony, who takes it as a challenge and begins a one-sided staring contest.

"We need to know where Anon is."

"You mean like right now? At home, I'd reckon. He's not exactly an early bird."

"And where is home, Pinkie Pie?"

"Where the heart is! Duh!"

Cadance brings a hoof to forehead.

"Ugh, no. I meant, where does Anon LIVE?"

"Ooooooooooh. With Zecora, of course!"

"WHAT?!" The two princess shout simultaneously.

"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't he?"

"Pinkie, what do you mean by-"

Before Twilight can finish her question, Cadance has already dragged her out of the building and into the street. She shows no signs of stopping as Twilight is tugged through the dirt, forcing Twilight to stand on her own and begin jogging alongside Cadance.

"Wh-what's the hurry?"

"I was right from the beginning! They ARE a couple!"

"W-well, we don't know that for sure. If Anon has been learning how to make potions, he could just be her apprentice, or-"

"Twilight, the implications of a stallion and a mare, or in this case a man and a zebra, living alone together in a secluded location away from prying eyes are clearly too raunchy for your poor, innocent mind to comprehend. So, let me just say that there is no way there isn't something going on between them!"

"First of all, rude. I read novels of all kinds, and I know my raunch. Second, way to make some heavy assumptions about our friends. This is how rumors get started, Cadance!"

"Twilight, I sincerely doubt that there is NO truth to what I'm saying. And I'll prove it to you once we get there!"

The princesses come to the edge of the Everfree Forest. They have to pass by Fluttershy's cottage on the way to the entrance that leads to Zecora's hut, and they suddenly find themselves stopping as a very long line of ducks slowly walk across their path. Cadance is about to take off and start flying before they are both stopped by Fluttershy herself calling out to the pair.

"Oh, hello Twilight! Hello, Princess Cadance!"

"Hey Fluttershy! How are you doing today?"

"Oh, I'm doing just-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you're doing fine. Can you get your ducks to move a bit faster?"

Cadance prances in place, clearly as impatient as she has ever been, but she stops when she catches Twilight glaring at her.

"Cadance, I said you weren't allowed to insult anypony already. No being rude, either!"

Cadance sighs.

"Yes, Twilight."

"Good." Twilight turns to Fluttershy with a smile. "So, you were saying?"

"I'm doing fine. Mr. and Mrs. Quackington's eggs just hatched the other day, as you can see. Aren't they just precious?" Sure enough, many of the ducks appear to be itty bitty things. Both Twilight and Cadance can't help but want to hug them all, but they hold themselves back. "What are you two doing?"

"Cadance wants to know what Anon has been up to. Apparently she thinks there is some kind of 'love emergency' going on or something."

"Oh, goodness! I certainly hope not! I thought he and Zecora were getting along really well."

"W-wait, he and Zecora?"

Fluttershy looks at Twilight with confusion.

"Yes?"

Cadance flies right up to Fluttershy and looks her dead in the eyes with a serious, somewhat wild expression.

"Do you mean to imply that they're a couple?!"

"..." Fluttershy glances at Twilight with anxiety and confusion before looking back at Cadance. "I should hope so?"

"What do you mean by that?!"

"W-well, I should hope that they're still a couple considering they got married about a month ago."

"WHAT?!" Both princesses yell simultaneously once again. Fluttershy cowers at their outburst.

"Wh-why are you yelling? You were both at the wedding!"

"No we were NOT!"

"For once, I agree with Cadance. We definitely were not there for that! This is the first we're hearing about it!"

"Twilight, you were Zecora's maid of honor."

"I was not! I would definitely remember if that..." Twilight's expression goes blank for a moment. "...happened."

"Hm? What's wrong, Twilight?"

Both Cadance and Fluttershy look at Twilight with concern.

"...I also should have known where Anon lives. But... I didn't."

"What are you implying?"

"..." Twilight looks up at Cadance, her eyes now filled with just as much determination. "We need to see what Anon is doing."


A few seconds after Cadance knocks on the door to Zecora's hut, the zebra herself opens it and gives the princesses a smile. She wears the usual rings all around her body, but she is also wearing a sort of apron that covers both her front and her sides.

"Ah, two princesses have arrived at my door without warning. To what do I owe the pleasure this morning?"

"We need to-!" Cadance stops herself as she realizes how loud and forceful she was about to be. She takes a deep breath and starts over. "It's nice to see you, Zecora. We came here because we wanted to see Anon... and because we have reasons to believe that you've been keeping secrets from us."

Zecora turns to Twilight, and is surprised when she simply nods. With a tilted head and a smile, Zecora steps aside to invite the pair in.

"While these accusations are quite abrupt, I'm sure we can clear everything up. Come inside, take a seat. Anon just finished making some tea."

Cadance steps inside, and Twilight gives Zecora an anxious smile as she enters behind her.

"Thank you, Zecora."

Zecora simply chuckles as they enter the hut. Sure enough, Anon is standing in the small kitchen near the back of the hut. Zecora leads the pair to a nearby table, and three sit down right as Anon approaches with a tea set and four already filled cups.

"Good morning, ladies."

Cadance glares at Anon with a furrowed brow.

"Do not 'good morning ladies' me, mister! What is all this?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

Anon seems genuinely confused as he hands each of them a filled teacup.

"All of this? Why didn't you tell Twilight you were moving here? And what's this about you two being married?!"

Anon takes a calm sip of his tea, as does Zecora. Feeling a bit awkward, Twilight does the same, and even Cadance, who never stops glaring at Anon, slowly brings the cup to her lips. In his defense, the tea is delicious.

"Well, first of all, I did tell Twilight I was moving here. Multiple times. Second of all... yeah, Zecora and I got married a little over a month ago. Didn't we, dear?"

Zecora smiles and nods, a slight blush on her face as she takes another sip of tea before replying.

"To this day I find it hard to believe. I never imagined someone would want to marry me."

"Why didn't you tell either of US about that?!"

"I did. You were THERE, remember? You gave a speech about the Hearts and Hooves Day debacle at the reception." Anon turns to look at Twilight. "And YOU were the maid of honor."

"How do neither of us remember that?!"

"I-I don't know!"

Anon, having finished his tea, lifts his hands into the air pleadingly. Cadance stares daggers into him, causing him to sweat a fair deal. Zecora interjects, worry on her face.

"Princess, please, if you are able... try not to cause a scene at the table?"

Cadance continues to glare at Anon for a moment before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

"This is just too strange. I can't believe that you two are married."

"Well, believe it."

Anon raises a hand, revealing that he does indeed have a band on his ring finger. Zecora tucks a hoof beneath her apron-like clothing, revealing a ring that has been made into a necklace hanging around her neck. Twilight and Cadance glance between them, realizing that they're telling the truth.

"I'll be darned."

"They really are married."

After a moment of awkward silence, the two princesses sigh and finish up the rest of their tea.

"How could we have forgotten?"

Anon shrugs.

"Maybe it's got something to do with princess of love stuff? Or perhaps trauma?"

Cadance tenses up.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying, you're the one who seems the most bothered by this. Maybe your mind just blocked it out to force you to forget how much you embarrassed yourself at the reception."

"How much I WHAT?!"

"Yeah, you said all sorts of nasty stuff. One too many ciders, perhaps?"

"...Oh Celestia." Cadance rests her head in her hooves. "What have I done?"

"W-well what about me?" Twilight looks at Anon with confusion. "What did I do?"

"You were right there with her, Twi. It was like a comedy duo. Really funny at the time, but I can't imagine how embarrassed you were after the fact."

Despite the fact that neither of them can remember a thing about the wedding, both Cadance and Twilight find themselves blushing from ear to ear. That explanation doesn't sound great, but... it's the only one they have. After almost a full minute of very awkward silence, Cadance sighs once more.

"I'm sorry, you two. Again. I really need to learn to stop sticking my nose where it doesn't belong."

"I'm sorry as well. Once again, I thought it was a bad idea, but I got caught up in it all so much that I just went along with it."

Anon and Zecora laugh.

"Oh, trust me, Twi. We're used to it. It's all good."

"...Ugh." Twilight buries her face in her hooves in embarrassment.

"Well, uh, how is the marriage treating you?" Cadance gives an awkward smile as she asks her question. Anon smiles at her, then he looks at Zecora. She smiles back, and both of their faces go a bit pink, much to Cadance's surprise. "Wh-what are you two... oh."

As Cadance began to ask her question, she watched as Zecora pulled her clothing to the side, revealing what was hiding underneath. Cadance immediately recognizes what she sees, and her eyes widen with shock. Following her gaze, Twilight is right there with her.

"You're having a baby?!"

Neither Anon nor Zecora answer. Instead, they just blush and sheepishly look away from each other. Man, those two are cute to watch.

"..." After a moment of silence, Twilight stands up and looks away, her eyes completely glazed over. "I think this is a bit too much for me to take in one day. I'm getting a terrible headache."

After a few seconds, Cadance stands up as well and walks up alongside her.

"Y-yeah, I think I'm feeling the same."

Anon and Zecora stand up behind them. Zecora stays back while Anon guides them to the front door and holds it open for them.

"Well, it was nice seeing you two, even if you have to leave so suddenly like that."

"Y-yeah, it was good to see you too."

The princesses appear woozy as they exit the hut. They gently shake their heads as they flap their wings and take to the sky.

"Goodbye, Anon. Bye, Zecora. Good luck with the marriage! A-and the baby, I guess."

"Thank you! Goodbye to you, too!"

Anon waves as the princesses take off, apparently too shocked or too ill to say another word. He just chuckles as he turns back to the hut to face his wife, closing the door behind him as he does so.

"Well, that takes care of that. I'd say 'let's hope the potion works,' but... this would be the, what, fifth time now that it did?"

"It is the sixth, if memory serves. Though I admit I'm starting to have a few concerns."

"Yeah, they're starting to do this more and more frequently. You sure they aren't building up a tolerance to that memory loss potion?"

"I won't say that it's impossible. After all, potions aren't infallible. Though if we are to take today's visit as a sign, I'd say we're running out of time."

"Eh. You can't rush perfection." Anon embraces Zecora, being careful to not put too much pressure on her belly. "This whole pranking thing is just a hobby, anyway. Cadance went around telling everypony in the Crystal Empire that we were dating before we were ready to make it public, so I'd say making them forget that we're even together over and over again until they walk in one day to see a kid in your arms is fair payback."

"The rumors they accidentally spread were aggravating, I agree. But I still don't feel great about spiking their tea."

"Do you want to stop?"

"..."

Zecora struggles to withhold her laughter. As she does so, she realizes Anon is as well. The two burst out laughing, clearly having had this conversation before. It seems that in the world of humans, zebras, and princesses, nothing is too petty or too serious to be considered a prank.

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, Cadance has forgotten why she's even there. In a panic, she throws herself through a once-again-sleeping Twilight's window, ready to go on an adventure to discover why her "Cadance Sense" is going haywire.

Comments ( 25 )

we all know we need the next one. Maby get someone else involved in the game. Luna could proberbly help make cadence unsure about her motives even more if she accidenly was given dreams about him in romantic settings

La verdad espero una tercera parte, solo sea en la boda

Well here we go again

"EXACTLY! Hearts and Hooves Day is just a week away! What if he's getting desperate?!"

"If he is, it's because of what we did last year! Just leave him alone!"

"I'm sorry Twilight, but that's the one thing I absolutely cannot do. As the princess of love, it is my duty to resolve any love-related conflicts that might disturb the carefully preserved harmony of nature."

"...Which means you need to bother Anon?"

"It absolutely does."

You are just a dick.

"I'm sorry Cadance, but I'm not helping you with this again. You need to drop it. Just leave him be."

"But what if he has a marefriend now? Not only would that be extremely unprecedented, it would also mean that he DIDN'T TELL ME!"

sounds like the 'Princess of love' is trying to prevent someone from finding love.

This shit is hilarious and hey surprise chapter

Aww, that was adorable! And a second chapter too?? I can’t believe I would have missed this if I don’t check for new stories from you at least once a day!:twilightsmile:

...couldn’t have happened to a nicer version of Cadance who wouldn’t have given those two a reason to prank her in the first place. :rainbowlaugh:

It's disgusting, this is dark, and nobody mentions it, Anon and Zecora, should get punished for that!!

11684014
I agree with you. Cadence's jokes about Anon's loneliness for me are more like parents' conversations like "when will you finally bring a girl/guy home". Yes, such conversations are annoying and embarrassing, but this is some manifestation of caring for those who are dear to you.
However, Anon and Zekora are just being cruel to their friends.

11683307
This. Agreed.

You get the 👏

Luv' me sum c r a c k

That was great and amazing and I love it

Comment posted by MagicalPony2099 deleted April 15th
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Comment posted by GreatDragonLord deleted April 15th

Bromita 😈

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