I hope you're having a good day, but if not, I hope it gets better :)
When Nightmare Moon returned and slayed her sister, she plunged the world into an eternal nightmare by releasing dark creatures of the night.
Applejack found her place in this new world by hunting these creatures down for a living.
Unfortunately for her, when one hunt goes wrong, she's plunged into an adventure across Equestria to reunite with unknown friends she never knew she had.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nicely done! I love how you didn't make this a Van Helsing rip-off, or some other parody, but an original, edge-of-your-seat thriller!
However, I must take issue with her opening tactics. She entered a potentially hostile area with no prior recon, therefore having no intel on the number of assailants nor their location...plus she entered by crashing through the front door WITH a light source, thus immediately giving away her position. While it's true that "no plan survives its first contact with the enemy," it can be assumed the vampires have both superior strength and night vision, so given these opening tactics it's doubtful she would have survived this initial encounter had she been facing more than one opponent.
All that being said, I am nevertheless looking forward to further chapters!
11657649
Aw, thanks :)
Also thanks for the favorite
Love it when people get a whiff of a concept and go their own way with it. nicely done, cant wait to see what next for this one.
11658673
Thank you :D
This was pretty good! You have an interesting premise, and your execution was good, at least so far. The pacing is good, and you manage to strike a dark tone without being pointlessly edgy. You had a few mechanical errors here and there, but these didn't take me out of the story. I look forward to seeing where you take this.
11663059
Thanks a lot
Comments like these motivate me a lot.
There was at least one point where pegasi was needed in place of Pegasus and plump isn't a noun so try a different word for what you mean.
Overall story wise it's getting even better and I can't wait for more! Only criticism I really had with anything was those previously mentioned so yay.