After sparking some sad memories in her teacher during a visit to Celestia's study, Twilight listens attentively to Princess Luna's tale of a soldier in the Equestrian army over a thousand years ago that had a special connection to Celestia.
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Definitely interested in where this'll go
Keep it awesome!
Very. VERY. Nice. Too bad it's a one shot... OR IS IT?!
Nah, it's a one shot.
I don't intend it to be a one shot. I have ideas running through my head, I just need time to put it down and post it :)
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Needs moar. Lots moar!
Always love stories that deal with this kind of realism. Equestria has had many years of peace and prosperity, yet if it has always been so, why all the guards? Why the armour? Why the spears?
Because it was not always so.
One thing I did not like was Twilight's reaction. "A brute that probably murdered others in battle?"
It's understandable, what with her innocence, but still...
Thank a teacher you can read, Twilight. Thank a soldier that you read Equestrian.
1369599
Well Stated Sir!
Author: Looking forward to updates....this looks like one of the better serious toned stories I will read here. Quality Ahoy...
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Love this story
And another jab in the heart, good job. If you keep this up, each new chapter will be better than the previous
Excellent.
Five stars
1369599
"Thank a teacher you can read, Twilight. Thank a soldier that you read Equestrian."
That's a great line...
Silver out!
An excuse to test new spells?
...
Brilliant.
Loved the chapter, especially the talk down that Xiphos gave that guard. Ponmpous little @$#%.
Maybe that's the reason why they don't talk or show emotion, not for dignity or whatever, but because StarSwirl got so annoyed with them that he tested a new spell on them that made them the emotionless statues they are today!
(Yes I know that there were guards who talked during Philomena's episode, so maybe the higher the rank the easier it is for them to perform as normal ponies)
Great story!
Just, wow. Really, really moving, for some reason I half expected Star Swirl to be really mad but that... I don't know what to say. So many sad feels. Keep up the wonderful job
That was a very moving chapter.
Silver out!
Loved the chapter. It was very emotional at times, enough to get one to really feel for the characters.
Looking forward to more.
Thanks all for the comments and support. RL obligations have been In the way lately but I should have more of the story up soon!
Great chapter cant wait for the next one please hurry.
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Loving the story so far, so please keep it going. Good writing, good characters, and an interesting level of depth to Celestia's (fanon/headcanon) character.
good chapter keep them coming.
I read this chapter I am impressed, with both the both the characterizations and what appears to be a subplot going on in the modern times. I like Xiphos he seems to be a good stallion, and while I see pre-Long Night era Celestia a bit differently you're doing good with her. Now about Luna.... is there a reason why you are having her speak in archaic English and in the Royal We? And not have Celestia doing the same... or why even speak in archaic English any when they are in that era and don't nee to show that Luna is still out of time.
Another great chapter, loved what you did in this one
However I have to agree with the comment above me - what's the reason you made Luna's speech out of the ordinary in the memories, when in fact everyone probably spoke that way back then?
Either way, can't wait to see the rest of the story
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I was conflicted with this at first, having Luna speak this way ultimately was my way of showing how Luna already starting to get out of touch with the ponies around her, being the tough guy, and not being as empathetic on the outside compared to Celestia in the same era. Perhaps the stress of forcing herself into a military leadership role to allow her sister to focus on other endeavors contributed to Nightmare Moon's arrival? She clings to her love for her sister and her safety being a top priority over anypony else.
That being said, it hurts my brain to write her this way also. I rewrote that section about 4 times to make it seem right too me. I may go back and redo this section just to make future writings with Luna not as rough to do, and save her royal We for official business such as her part in chapter 2. In fact, I may just do that, and will probrably post the edited chapter 5 when I do chapter 6.
Thanks again for the input and criticism.
Sheesh! He got over Misty QUICK!
Silver out!
Wow! Good chapter!
Keep the up the good work!
We'll looks like he has a thing for pinks, let's hope he never meets Pinkie Pie.
I do wish you would slow down a little. It feels a little rushed in terms of pacing
Only found this story due to this new chapter, I am looking forward to many more chapters.
Ahh man... I want to read this. I really want to read this. But we already know there is no happy ending. I dont know if I can take more sad on this site.
3492772 Don't tell him to slow down! Are you crazy! It took him a year to write this! Damn!
Xiphos can't catch a break can he? Poor guy
Telling past events in present tense throws me off.
Interesting start! I'm going to read on!
Update? :D
This is one of those stories that moves me in so many ways. Props to you for making me feel sorry to Star Swirl and Xiphos. Deserves the Warrior of Love bullet of approval
Is there any progress?