Nightmare Moon is trying to make contact with Luna, but what exactly does she want? and Is Luna going to be able to resist the evil spirit?
I'll add other tags after uploading next chapter.
Chapters (1)
EvilNaab
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Soo here it is, one from the two story (1 chapter, I have a bit more of it, but didn't want to rush it and the point where I finished this chapter looks okey at least for me) which I meant to upload before taking a break. Hope its something good and I made the chapter break at a good point. Sorry about the grammar.
Thanks for the comments, faves or likes.
This is a great story, there are a few errors but nothing i couldn't overlook. keep it up, I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter.
A few errors and mistakes but otherwise great! :D
NEW CHAPTERS SOONNNNNNNNNNNNN
2358276>>2360715
Wow, I really don't know what to say right now... didn't expect it would be called "great". especially with my grammar and writing skills, but thanks a lot for your comments and here comes the part where I'd like to apologize because I won't write anything for 1-2 weeks or more....
I want to take some time off from writing and rethink a lot of things.
I hope all of you can understand it who faved/like the story and await for the next chapter and you won't be mad at me. :(
2361358 don't worry too much about it, I've been working on the same chapter for my own story for like a month or two now.
This is why I don`t usually read incomplete stories. It always end with a cliff hanger.
But the positive comments convinced me to read, and I agree, the story really seems great.
Can`t wait for the next chapter.
That was a really good start, grammar problems aside I liked the buildup and the Character development.
Since I am guessing then ending "Hello Luna." was Nightmare Moon which haunts Luna I can't wait for more.
There were few grammatical errors for example "She step in, closed the door behind her and headed towards the kitchen." which I assume should be "She stepped in..."
And then there were couple sections that left me with a feeling of "who said what?".
Like for example at the start you have Luna and Twilight having a dialogue, with so many lines of dialogue, without any kind of pointing to who is talking like "Luna said" or "Twilight replied", the dialogue can become a bit confusing to follow, atleast in my opinion.
Oh and couple typos that caught my eye from when Luna's cooking: "cocking" should be "cooking" (twice), "mistery" should be "mystery" also
"she couldn't find it into any cocking books", should rather be "she couldn't find it from any cooking books"
"quiestion" should be "question"
But other than those small things, GREAT! story so far, can't wait for the next chapter.
2363388
Hm... a few? xD I know that my grammar is horrific, since I uploaded this on Apr 1 I wasn't expecting the comments and everything what I received so far so it is a really great feeling. About my grammar I can't do anything(tho I'm trying), but I'll try to make the conversations easier to follow somehow in the next chapter(s). ;)
(corrected that mistake) Thanks for everything :)
If you're unsure about your grammar, might be an idea to have somebody proof read your text (atleast that's what a lot of other writers do, not sure how easy it would be to find someone to do that) but that could reduce the ammount of grammar/word errors and also help you improve your grammar.
2363388
Oh buck it. I always write without caring about spelling mistakes then when I finish it look over the whole story and fix them, but looks like I missed a lots of them :(.
Corrected them, Thanks again
It's good so far and I can read through spelling mistakes but the wrong words are throwing me off when I have to figure out what the correct word is supposed to be. The biggest example I saw was the word "what" in place of the word "that".
Is "This night was truly one of the most wonderful night what Princess Luna had since she returned,"
should be "This night was truly one of the most wonderful night that Princess Luna had since she returned,"
These crop up throughout the story so far. but otherwise it's a good story.
2446230
Well I'm sorry.. :/ I'll fix it right away, thx.
Nice 'little' story in the first chapter. Please make another as soon as possible.
This story is deserves a good sequel.
2894795
Thanks, yeah I know I'm really planning to do something about it, but... I already wrote a second chapter for like 4 times, but I didn't like them for some reason I can't explain why also I was afraid it won't be good enough and it will fail cos everybody expect a good 2nd chapter.... so I always left it in the dark and started another story :/
2896144
Would you consider trying again
2896144
Hello again, really hope you are alright.
I know it's been a really long time since we last talked about this here, but somehow reading through my Favourite folder I found this story yet again, and now I can only wish and hope that one day- hopefully soon-ish, I and the others who are interested in it as well, will see the second chapter to this magnificent story.
11155246
Ey, to be honest I probably have it somewhere, but I pretty much "sort of" gave up on writing... when i mean "sort of" I have around another 15-20 stories written some of them polished, some of them between 50-90% done, yet I stopped uploading. After I uploaded my latest story at some point no matter how much time I spent on a story, I never felt it was good enough to upload so after some time I completely gave up on it and wrote only to get stuff out of my head since dumb story ideas kept comming :(.