During the Summer Sun Celebration, Celestia takes Twilight to the fair. The rides are dizzying, and the food is overpriced and greasy. What could be more fun?
An entry for A Thousand Words Contest II in the slice-of-life category.
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- Member Since 4th Jul, 2023
- offline last seen Yesterday
Math Spook
Spook does not take himself or his fanfiction seriously. You shouldn't either.
Math Spook
Joined 4th Jul, 2023 ·
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Aw poor Celly. But what a cute Twi! Good luck in the contest n_n
This was an okay story. It had its cute and funny moments, but it didn't really wow me. I think the biggest problem is that it feels a bit contrived in terms of characterization. Twilight doesn't really feel like Twilight, even a young Twilight, and Celestia doesn't really feel like Celestia. Having Twilight meet some of the other M6 took me out of it a bit as well.
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I've been thinking about what you said about characterization, and I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree. The show doesn't spend a lot of time on young Twilight, nor on her relationship with Celestia at that age. I think what I wrote is a plausible interpretation of the characters. For instance, a lot of kids will reject unfamiliar food, but they do so in different ways. I think young Fluttershy would be more likely to silently refuse to eat, while young Rainbow Dash would be more likely to complain even before the carrot dogs are ordered. (Young Pinkie Pie would eat anything, of course.) And while the show portrays Celestia as regal, it doesn't portray her as infallible or superhuman (superpony). Maybe she really can't stand teacup rides. Maybe, after all day with a little kid, she really would like a glass of wine.
I think Twilight meeting Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie is one of the most fun things about the story.
In my opinion, the biggest suspension of disbelief the story requires is everypony treating Celestia like she's ordinary: Somehow, nobody notices that she's a giant alicorn with a crown and a flowing mane and a security detail!
yeah… the prospect does not sound nearly as fun as an adult as it did as a kid!
aww, so true to her being a literal child!
hehe, saying this to the Princess of Equestria! i do admire the operator’s commitment to park regulations
oh hey we know who that is!
it’s easy to forget what being a kid was like
definitely sounds like fair food!
oof, what an upcharge!
aww so cute! i mean as long as i don’t have to deal with getting this child to eat
oh hey we know who that is!
aww, love Winelestia
oh hey we know who that is!
whatever it is i am sure it is a bedrock of the Equestrian economy that Celestia dares not question
ahaha! thus explaining how they meet for the first time again later
aww, it’s all worth it, then!
super adorable, thank you for writing!
As opposed to what, exactly? (I’d assume that was the joke were it not for the rest of the paragraph.)
Childhood in a nutshell. Especially for Twilight.
In all, this is fun, but Celestia could and arguably should have been replaced by Twilight’s actual mother, or at least Cadence. This is, at this point in the timeline, the Princess we’re talking about. Someone should have reacted to that at literally any point, especially on a holiday in her honor. Plus, I feel like Twilight would be a lot more eager to do whatever Celestia told her to, rather than arguing over the yuckiness of a carrot dog.
In any case, a fun read, but arguably miscast. Still, thank you for the entry.
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