Thats so gross

by The Force

A gross pony of my own!

The bright sunlight danced across Emiri's face, casting her features in a warm golden glow. Her face was like an expressionless emoji. Head held high, Emiri strolled towards her school, paying no mind to the chattering students around her. When her gaze landed on Tomoko, she let out a silent sigh of annoyance, her expression still unchanging. In her mind she thought, 'Not her again, shes gross' and resumed her walk.

That feeling, the mix of disgust and fascination, was nothing new to Emiri. Each time she saw Tomoko, it confused her more and more. She didn't understand why her feelings were so conflicted towards someone like her. Yet at the same time, she couldn't help but feel excited to see her, hoping to get a glimpse of Tomoko's strange world.

As she walked towards school, Emiri wondered if she would be lucky enough to see Tomoko again that day. She couldn't help but feel a strange thrill at the thought.

_____________

Lunch time had finally arrived. Emiri was alone as usual, lost in thought. As she turned a corner, a strange sight suddenly met her eyes. A pony who happened to look exactly like Tomoko?! Emiri was taken by surprise, her eyes widened with shock.

In a moment of hesitation, she stepped closer to the pony. 'It can't be Tomoko, right?' she thought to herself. But despite her uncertainty, the pony's resemblance to Tomoko was uncanny, down to the smallest detail. Perhaps it really was her?

Emiri watched in fascination, trying to make sense of the situation. The pony also seemed to be equally fascinated by Emiri, its gaze locked on her with a mix of curiosity and awe.

Then suddenly, the pony spoke up, stammering out something that almost sounded like 'Hi'. Taken aback by the pony's resemblance to Tomoko, Emiri could barely believe her ears at first. Surely it couldn't be her, yet it acted, spoke, and even looked like Tomoko how uncanny.

Emiri couldn't help but call out the truth: 'Gross'. The pony heard her words and took a few steps back, its face registering clear discomfort. Emiri felt guilty for inadvertently hurting its feelings, even though it wasn't really Tomoko.

Despite hating Tomoko, Emiri couldn't help but feel a strange sense of adoration and fascination for her, even in pony form. She just couldn't resist her grossness, so she decided to try one more time to strike up a conversation. "Apologies for my words earlier, I just really find you gross but in a good way!" Emiri said to the pony.

The pony nodded and slowly started speaking again. They were a little quieter now, but Emiri could make out what Tomoko was saying. 'Ah... i...i...it's fine...' her words still stuttered and mumbled as if she weren't quite sure what to say.

Emiri was surprised by this response. Did this version of Tomoko feel afraid or uncomfortable in her presence?

Emiri was relieved to see that the pony didn't take offense to her earlier words, instead giving her a look that seemed to say, 'I understand'. Emiri was starting to feel more at ease now that the ice between them had been broken. Perhaps they could even be friends?

But she couldn't help but wonder - how could the pony understand her so well? Did they somehow know that she had a love-hate relationship with the real Tomoko, even though they hadn't met before? Or was it just a coincidence? After watching the pony in fascination for a moment, Emiri decided to strike up a conversation. 'Where did you come from?' she asked, trying to get a straight answer from the pony.

The pony thought for a moment, hesitantly replying, "H-hm... I'm n-not quite sure.." As she paused to think, her words stuttered slightly, and her shy demeanor was apparent in her body language.

Emiri couldn't help but feel a bit surprised. The pony seemed way more shy and hesitant in her speech than the real Tomoko.

"Feeling increasingly confused and unsure, Emiri looked at the pony, searching for some sign of recognition. 'Are you real?' Emiri asked, the thought suddenly crossing her mind.

What if this was all a hoax? What if this wasn't some magical transformation or inter-dimensional pony that had somehow taken the form of Tomoko, but instead just some elaborate prank?

The uncertainty was driving her crazy. Emiri needed answers, now

"A bit put off by the pony's silence, Emiri couldn't help but feel a bit worried. She didn't even know who this pony was, let alone her intentions.

But then, Tomoko suddenly spoke up, "I...can show you..." she stuttered, her words trailing off as she seemed to think.

Tomoko started walking again, moving in the direction of the school. Intrigued by this mysterious creature, Emiri followed closely behind. 'Who are you? Where are we going?' she thought to herself. The unknown was both exciting and unnerving.

The pony Tomoko was still a little overwhelmed by the new, unfamiliar surroundings. But despite her timidness, she was determined to find something for Emiri.

As they walked through the halls, Emiri couldn't help but marvel at the uncanny resemblance between pony and real Tomoko. Every single detail was spot-on, from her personality to her interests. It was as if this pony Tomoko was a mirror image.

What was going on here? The situation seemed to get increasingly bizarre. As they made their way through the halls, pony Tomoko still seemed a little shy and nervous, but she was having fun exploring this unusual and unfamiliar place.

Pony Tomoko was starting to feel more relaxed as she continued exploring the school. And as it turned out, she loved doing exactly the same things real Tomoko loved doing, like playing video games and snacking on snacks.

Emiri and pony Tomoko just enjoyed spending time together and having fun. They laughed, they chatted, they played games and even had a snack. It was beginning to feel like just another typical day with Tomoko, just with a small twist.

Comments

[Ace98]

Neat, though you could do with some description on the specifics of the similarities that make it a on sight 'this is a pony version of Tomoko'. Perhaps you could comment on their eyes and the way they look at things, mentioning the same marks of sleep deprivation and deadness that happens to add to the 'Grossness' that Emiri perceives? Maybe on how they hunch in on their self except when presenting false bravado on vulgar things?

[FanOfMostEverything]

To provide the link, paste the following into the story description.

An entry in the [url=https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216361/a-thousand-words/thread/517645/a-thousand-words-contest-ii-2023-may-29-jul-30]Thousand Words Contest II[/url].

Beyond that, I am not permitted to say anything on the story until after judging has concluded.

[Charlie_K]

It's not a bad concept. But that's ultimately what this story is, just a concept. It feels like an unfinished rough draft, like a demo reel put out to convey an idea and get investors onboard with making the final product a reality.

I don't mean to be rude, but the story could use a lot of editing and proofreading.

[The Force]

11648480
This story was only meant for 1k words, not much I could actually do with 1000 word limit

[Bicyclette]

Emiri couldn't help but call out the truth: 'Gross'. The pony heard her words and took a few steps back, its face registering clear discomfort. Emiri felt guilty for inadvertently hurting its feelings, even though it wasn't really Tomoko.

dang that is mean!

"Apologies for my words earlier, I just really find you gross but in a good way!" Emiri said to the pony.

and that is… confusing?

What if this was all a hoax? What if this wasn't some magical transformation or inter-dimensional pony that had somehow taken the form of Tomoko, but instead just some elaborate prank?

i gotta say, that would be quite a prank!

Emiri and pony Tomoko just enjoyed spending time together and having fun. They laughed, they chatted, they played games and even had a snack. It was beginning to feel like just another typical day with Tomoko, just with a small twist.

well, not sure what to make of this one to be honest, since not much happens in it, and i am not familiar with the source material. but thank you for writing!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I’m unfamiliar with the crossover, I’m afraid. Moreover, I wasn’t sure how you were handling that part of it, so Emiri’s shock and confusion at seeing pony Tomoko confused me until I realized that Emiri herself wasn’t a pony. Yes, the Human tag is present, but there’s nothing in the story to show that. One mention of hands or fingers is all I ask, some subtle indicator.

In all, it’s characters I don’t know barely having time to interact with one another. You don’t even explain why Emiri sees Tomoko as gross, in a good way or otherwise. Crossovers are a massive risk in this contest; you either expend precious word count on background information or just leave the reader confused. Here, you went for the latter, and it cost you. Still, thank you for the entry.