• Published 30th Sep 2012
  • 3,538 Views, 133 Comments

Drunken Rainbow - Rainbow87dash

Me and my two friends (Luigi117 & FlutterMac16) wrote this together

  • ...

Like Any Other Night... (Overdue Edit *shrug*)

Drunken Rainbow

The night was cold and there was a cool breeze outside the window, rustling the branches on a nearby tree. Fluttershy was fast asleep in bed dreaming peaceful dreams. A faint noise noise slowly woke her from her slumber, her ears twitched as she thought she could hear drunken hiccups and a familiar voice cursing. She was wishing, hoping that she didn't have to deal with this but she knew there was no way out of it. It was going to be one of those nights again.

A rainbow maned winged pony stumbled her way through the front door of Fluttershy's cottage, upturning a small side table and destroying a vase in her efforts to stay upright. Stopping to observe her surroundings, she came to a very slow realisation.
"Oh.....wrong house.....again." She mumbled to herself as she tried to step back outside.

Fluttershy heard a loud thump, followed by the sound of ceramic shattering into a gazillion pieces. She sighed. 'yup,', she thought to herself as she groggily got herself out of bed, 'guess I have to take Rainbow Dash home...again.' She slipped on her bunny slippers and told Angel to stay put, before gradually descending her stairs to help her friend. When she got downstairs she saw the very drunk rainbow pony stumbling about her living room with a bottle of hard cider in one hoof, knocking her stuff over as she went along in her efforts to get back out the door she came through.

"Um...Rainbow?" Fluttershy started quietly, a hint of annoyance in her voice as she surveyed the damage.

"Yeah p-*huccup*pal?" Rainbow slurred heavily, knocking over a plant pot and spilling a small amount of cider onto the stained carpet below.

Fluttershy flinched. "Do you need help getting home again?"

"Nahh...I'm *hiccup* good," Rainbow said with a smile, before suddenly vomiting on Fluttershy's already ruined and abused carpet. Poor carpet.

Fluttershy's eye twitched slightly and she sighed with a hint of anger. "Come on Rainbow, Let's go."

Rainbow spilled her drink a little more. "No.. I'm totally fi-fine..." She took a step forwards and quickly stumbled over herself, her face falling straight into the puddle that she so graciously created. Miraculously her cider remained upright and un-spilled, a testament to her love for the favoured beverage. Or just luck. Probably just luck.

Fluttershy face hoofed. Hard. "How many of those did you have?!"

Rainbow Dash pulled her face up from the ground. "Oh.... not much...Just divide the number of trees in Sweet Apple Acres by like 300.. I think.. I dunno."

Fluttershy stopped for a moment, calculating the number, then gasped. "You had 5 drinks?! Oh my gosh Rainbow Dash! We need to get you home!" She rushed to her side and hoisted her up, being careful not to get any of the disgusting juices on herself.

Rainbow tried to pull herself away. "No Fluttershy... I can get there myself... Honest!....Hehehe.. See what I did there...Honest?..Get it?.. Applejack and honest?" Fluttershy tried to maneuver Rainbow towards the door but the drunk horse began to wobble on her hooves. In her clumsiness she dropped her beloved drink onto the poor, sweet carpet in front of the door. The bottle smashed, throwing glass and hard cider all over. R.I.P Cider.

"Aww *hiccup* man... That was good *hiccup* stuff." The rainbow Pony gave a moment of silence for her spilled drink, a very brief moment that is, before she burped and giggled to herself.

"Uuugh.. Rainbow come on please, we need to get you home." 'And out of my house'

"Fluttershy I..I already told I'm---" She vomited again, splattering her hooves. The carpet had quit at this point, deciding its life as a sick mat was not worth it, it packed up it's things and left for Manehatten, where it hoped to start a new life for itself. Neither ponies noticed it go.

"Oh Darn! I guess I'm gonna have to bath you after I get you home."


"What's so funny?" Fluttershy asked as she glared at the rainbow pony, her efforts to push the drunken idiot out of her home momentarily paused.

"Nothing *hiccup*." She looked at Fluttershy and attempted to bounce her eyebrows, but in her drunken stupor it looked more akin to her having a small seizure. Fluttershy ignored her and finally managed to get her outside. Straight away Rainbow began wandering into Fluttershy's garden, with the various avian species glaring at her from their nests, annoyed at their sleep being interrupted yet again.

"Hey...look!....Food!" She fell face first into the mud and began sliding her body through it like a pig. Fluttershy groaned.

"Rainbow Dash, please, don't get any more dirty."

Rainbow stood up giggling. "Why?... it's so fun! WEEEEEE!" She jumped into the mud again and began making mud angels. "C'mon F- *huccup* Fluttershy! The water's great!" She giggled like a small filly.

Fluttershy sighed for what felt like the millionth time as she took off her favourite slippers and flew over, dipping a hoof slightly into the mud. "See? I got dirty. Let's go. Please." Rainbow sat up and shook her head. "No."

Fluttershy lowered her head, completely exhausted. She knew Rainbow was a mess every time she was drunk, but this was just getting ridiculous. "What am I going to do with you!?" She flew over to Rainbow and grabbed her front hooves then pulled, hoisting the disgusting pony into the air as far as she could.

"Look Fluttershy I'm flying! .......Oh wait......I do that every day hehehe. *hiccup*" Fluttershy was getting seriously frustrated by this point.

"You're really heaveeeeee!!" Fluttershy lost her grip as Rainbow slipped through her hooves, splashing straight into the stream that ran under the bridge outside her cottage. The air was filled by the sudden sound of more laughing and giggling.

Fluttershy began grinding her teeth. "WILL YOU STOP IT WITH THAT CELESTIA DAMNED LAUGHING!!!!"

"Hahaha make *hiccup* me!"

"THAT IS IT!!!!" Fluttershy dove down, grabbed Rainbow from under her shoulders and pulled her out of the stream, before dropping her ceremonially, leaving her laying on the cold hard ground.

Rainbow looked up at her friend, her laughing having quickly ceased. She started crying. Fluttershy facehoofed. "Ugh. Rainbow Dash, what am I going to do with you?" Now that she was clean of mud she effortlessly picked her back up and slowly made her way into Ponyville. It must be a strange sight, seeing the usual timid pegasus carrying the usually brash and strong Rainbow Dash through the streets, crying and soaked to the bone. Fluttershy looked down and muttered. "Why do you always end up in MY house?" Rainbow just continued to cry like a small child, not giving much in the way of an answer.

Fluttershy attempted to silence her as lights began turning on in the houses around them, "Rainbow. Please stop you'll wake up the other ponies." Her attempt failed. "Rainbow please sssshhhhh."

Rainbow suddenly pulled out of her grasp. "N-No, you're a m-mean pony!" she cried and started 'flying' away, if one could call it so. It looked more like a blind, one winged pigeon had bad gas.

"Eee! Bu...bu... Rainbow!!"

"NOOO!!!" Rainbow screamed. Fluttershy saw Berry Punch open her window, a bottle of wine in one hoof and a grin plastered accross her face. Apparently this kind of scene is amusing, who knew?

"RAINBOW DASH, GET BACK HERE!!" Fluttershy screamed and took chase. Well 'chase' would be a strong word, with Rainbow flying like a madmare and Fluttershy flying at the speed of a griffon hatchling, the whole thing seemed to be moving in slow motion. Berry Punch cheered on from her window all the same.

"Rainbow, please stop." Rainbow Dash finally slowed down and landed.

"What do *hiccup* you want?"

Fluttershy went to pick her up again, meeting little resistance as the drunken pegasus began lapsing in and out of consciousness. "I am taking you home. Your never going to make it there by yourself in your state of mind."

"I can make it back....Just perfect*yawn*ly... ..fine.." Fluttershy rolled her eyes and flew them both towards Rainbow Dash's house. As they neared Fluttershy could see the sun slowly coming up over the mountain. She felt the dirty, soggy, pegasus suddenly slump in her arms, the sound of her snoring like a hacksaw going through her tired brain. 'At least I know she's still alive'. Fluttershy thought to herself.

When she arrived at the the doorstep of the massive cloud mansion, she stopped for a short rest. After all she was woken up in the middle of the night by Rainbow Dash, then had to chase said Pegasus all over Ponyville. Honestly she was getting quite sick of it. She turned her head to look down at her sleeping friend.

"Okay, Rainbow. We're here. You can get up now." She said as she poked Rainbow Dash, who responded by twitching her ear and rolling onto her side. Not giving up so easily Fluttershy poked again, receiving a tired groan. Feeling frustrated the butter pegasus flicked her snout.

"Wha.. Huh?" she asked warily, staring into blankly into the unknown abyss. Fluttershy waved a hoof in front of Rainbow's face. "Hello? Rainbow Dash?"

"Uh....wha" Rainbow blinked and looked around, then began to wobble to her hooves.

"Whoa!" Fluttershy quickly rushed to her side just as she was about to collapse back down to the floor. "Come on let's get you upstairs before you fall off the cloud." Fluttershy then began leading Rainbow Dash into her house, supporting her the entire time. She began to lead them towards the stairs when Rainbow tripped and promptly face planted into the solid hard-packed cloud stairs, leaving a large wound on her head.

Fluttershy screamed in panic. "RAINBOW DASH!!! Oh my gosh! Now your drunk AND I have to take you to the hospital!" Rainbow started crying again as Fluttershy picked her up once more. She carefully opened the front door and flew out into the coming morning, a mess of a pony in her arms. She failed to see the third pony, staring confused from atop of her staircase.

"What the buck is going on?"

- - - - - - - - -

"Rainbow, we were so close!. Why did you do that? All of this could have been over and done with!." Rainbow didn't reply. Fluttershy, now absolutely bloody exhausted, flew to Ponyville General Hospital and gently made her way inside.

"Can uhh.. somepony help me? I have a.......uh.......hurt pony over here." Fluttershy announced quietly.

Nurse Redheart, having just started her shift for the morning, looked up from her coffee and groaned in disdain. "Just...place her on one of the chairs, i'll be with her in just a second."

Fluttershy did as instructed, laying her accross two of the cushioned seats. "I'll urm..come get her when she is..urm...better." Fluttershy said nodded to Redheart and left the hospital, finally ready to get back home and get some much needed sleep.

Back at the hospital the rainbow pony opened her eyes. 'Ow! My head really hurts. And whats that smell?!' She sniffed her hoof and gagged. She noticed how extremely dirty she was, mud and what she thought was vomit clung to her damp, dark blue fur. She saw Nurse Redheart changing the sheets on the other side of the room. "Hey...uh......lady! Could you call my sister?"

1 Week Later
Fluttershy was sound asleep in her bed when she heard a loud banging at her door.
"Oh Celestia, not again."

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