• Member Since 30th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

MagicalPony2099


I've been a brony for 11 years since January 19th, 2013. Chip 'N Dale fan for 2 years, as well as a furry for 12 years. Male pronouns. Not taking any story requests at all.

T

In 2028, some random human that's a brony found himself in Equestria but with some complications. Little did this brony knew that, what he knows and what he'll see in Equestria will certainly surprise him.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 5 )

What is this a crossover of?

11615829
SAO, VRChat, DBZ, and others.

This story isnt too bad so far. Dialogue and in general the writing are a bit clunky.

As of Chapter 2(TBU) the characters immediately come off as Mary Sues/Gary Stus. Hackerman being a god level hacker as well as a functional god with the video game skills make it a character thats going to be hard to make relatable. Video game powers are fine, but i would recommend having them start at lvl1 and needing to learn how to use their powers.

11637444
Lv 1? The levels I did for their characters are their current level in the game they created. They would kill themselves if they revert back to level 1.

11637461
At the end of the day, its your story so do as you like.

Im just thinking in terms of conflict, the main characters being able to do everything they set out to do perfectly everytime is going to get very dull. Having them working to unlock or unstand their powers is an easy source of narrative drama.

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