Equestrian Recreation

by luigitime22

Oh Look a New Chapter

Opaline slowly awoke as light began to shine around her. She couldn’t quite remember what had happened, but it wasn’t pleasant. She was just about to terminate that pesky pest Sunny Starscout as well, but then there was singing, and she forgot what happened then. “Where am I?” she shouted out, as most villains do when they’re confused about where they are.

“You’re dead,” a voice said ominously behind her. “Or something like that, I’m not sure.” The source of the voice soon appeared in the area, revealing himself to be none other than Discord.

“Not possible,” Opaline scoffed. “I am the Fire Alicorn! Far too powerful to be defeated by anypony in Equestria, let alone killed. Even you will tremble before me!”

Discord just rolled his eyes. “I somehow doubt that, on the count of you being here of all places.

“And where is ‘here,’ exactly?”

“This is the Void Where Dead Villains Go Until Hasbro Needs Them Again For Continuity Or Fan Interest,” Discord laughed. “For simplicity’s sake, you can call it the VWDVGUHNTAFCOFI, which is the title I prefer. It’s where downed villains find themselves after dying until they inevitably come back for dramatic value or the like.”

“That sounds dumb,” Opaline responded.

“Just like you,” Discord replied.

---

“Well, it’s not all bad,” Opaline decided. “If you’re here, that means you’re out of the picture as well. It will be all the easier to conquer Equestria with you out of the way.”

Discord laughed. “No, no, I’m not dead. I’m Discord, after all. I just thought I’d pay a visit. Not often a villain gets killed by a tree, after all.”

“Seriously? That’s how I went out?”

“Afraid so,” Discord guffawed. “Well, I’d best be on my way. It’s time for tea with Fluttershy. Try to get along with the other inmates.”

“Anypony that I would recognize?”

“Not particularly, no. Most of them are from the 1980s. I’ll see you later when you inevitably come back in some way. Try not to take too long.”

---

Starlight Glimmer groaned as she turned on the faculty microphone. “Hello, yes, good morning, School of Friendship,” she said with all the enthusiasm of a chimera stuck in a tree. “We’ve been getting reports that one of our students has been illegally utilizing the school fountain as a swimming pool, and has been splashing numerous students, resulting in great discomfort, ruined outfits, supplies, and causing general disgruntlement. We won’t name names, but it starts with a ‘silver’ and ends with a ‘stream.’ You know who you are. Please refrain from doing this again, or else I will have no choice but to convert that entire section of the school into a restricted area exclusively used for flying kites. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!”

Starlight shut off the microphone and went to get some coffee.

---

“Alright, so as we all know, Lickety Split bungled it for all of us once again,” Gusty grumbled, as half of the currently gathered group paused to glare at the aforementioned perpetrator of the bungling, “and now we need to figure out what to do about the flooded basement. Any ideas?”

Shady began to raise her hoof.

“Any ideas that aren’t from Shady, please,” Gusty quickly added. “We don’t need any ideas like ‘give up and cry’ or something like that.”

Shady lowered her hoof quietly.

“Draining the basement would be the logical solution,” Wind Whistler pointed out.

“Well I agree that getting rid of the water would be nice, unless we wanted to convert the basement into a swimming pool.”

Fizzy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Fizzy, no. That was a joke. We’re not doing that,” Gusty said, immediately shutting Fizzy down.

Fizzy’s face darkened with disappointment.

“I’ll see what we can do about fixing up the pool at Paradise Estate, though.”

Fizzy’s face lit up again.

“But as I was saying, we don’t have a way to drain the water right now.”

“We could always just go into Canterlot and buy a pump,” Wind Whistler countered.

“And that’s why Wind Whistler makes the ideas,” Gusty replied. “Alright, everyone, we move. Let’s go find a pump.” She turned to glare at Lickety Split again. “You’re paying for it.”

---

“Well, that train ride could have gone worse,” Wind Whistler said, trotting into the streets of Canterlot.

“Could have gone better, too,” Gusty countered. “I half thought we’d have to ban Heart Throb from singing.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Wind Whistler replied. “She wasn’t even flat.”

“No, just loud.”

“Well, let’s go do what we came here for!” Fizzy exclaimed, bounding excitedly towards her friends. “The sooner we get the basement drained, the sooner we can ask the Bushwoolies to also fix the pool!” The twinkle-eyed unicorn was off like a shot, getting distracted every so often but largely looking for the item of interest.

“Should we be worried about her?” Wind Whistler asked.

“Naw, she’ll be fine. I’m more worried about Shady.”

“I probably shouldn’t come along, I’ll probably get lost in Canterlot and never find the way back to the train on time!” Shady groaned, trotting up alongside her friends.

“That is absurd,” Wind Whistler replied. “We’ll all be traveling together, and several of us are pegasi. The odds of you getting lost and us not finding you in time to make the train home are miniscule, to say the least.”

“But what if it rains, and none of you can fly through it to find me?”

Gusty just facehoofed. “You see what I mean?”

“I seriously doubt there will be a downpour strong enough to keep us down. Need I remind you of North Star’s flight through the dark shadows of Tambelon of all places?”

“Yes, but North Star’s not here.”

“She’s got you there, Wind Whistler.”

“I’ve kept up with North Star just fine in the past, and I’m quite sure Heart Throb and I will be able to go through any kind of storm here in Canterlot. And besides, it’s a sunny day, and there is not not a cloud in the sky.”

“But what if there’s a tornado?” Shady worried.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Gusty grunted, magically generating a small tornado of her own to carry Shady about. The irony was not lost on her, and she smirked while doing it. “We’re going to go find that pump, and we’re going to look for as long as it takes to do so.”

“But what if there isn’t a pump here?”

“I FOUND A PUMP!” Fizzy shouted excitedly from across the street. Sure enough, there was a brand-new pump on display in the window of a repair store, and Fizzy’s eyes were somehow gleaming more so than usual.

Gusty just smirked at Shady.

“I suppose that also works,” Shady admitted, allowing a small smile of her own to form.

---

Soon enough, the pump was purchased, and the ponies made good on their word and made Lickety Split pay for it, much to her irritation. The train ride also went without any significant issues, with its passengers now in higher spirits, and even Shady was spotted looking cheerful.

But of course, there still remained the problem of draining the basement. After Wind Whistler and Heart Throb successfully had the pump downstairs, Gusty began pumping while Fizzy cheered her on.

“Go Gusty!” Fizzy shouted, once again bouncing in place like an excited child. “You’ve got this!”

“Thank you, Fizzy,” Gusty said, unsure if she should be annoyed or amused.

This process of pumping and cheering proceeded for half an hour, with Gusty becoming a bit winded and Fizzy not losing any energy at all. In fact, she was now generating bubbles from her horn and incorporating them into the little show of cheering she had going. At that point, Gusty decided to take the energy to her advantage.

“You know Fizzy, why don’t you take a turn at the pump?” Gusty asked, silently taking note of the thousands of bubbles beginning to fill the area.

“Okay!” Fizzy replied cheerfully, and thus the twinkle-eyed pony began pumping.

Perhaps not shockingly, the basement was fully drained in less than five minutes. Lickety Split was banned from going down into the basement by herself, Shady was actually positive for the rest of the day, and Gusty made good on her word and had the Bushwoolies fix the swimming pool, much to Fizzy’s immense delight.

---

“I fold,” Chrysalis said calmly, placing her cards down on the table. The villains were playing poker, except for Sombra, who was still in prison after the incident with the fake Crystal Heart.

“Call,” Cozy Glow replied.

“Call,” Tirek added, as the two put down their cards. Tirek beat Cozy’s straight with a flush, chuckling darkly as he swiped away some of her chips.

“HOW!?” Cozy roared, as menacing sounding as an evil pony child could possibly be. “You’ve won almost every round!”

“I’ve been practicing,” Tirek responded evenly. “As much as those little ponies and Discord can be annoying, they’re better competition than the two of you put together. Now deal the cards.”

---

Spike stared at the excessively long list rolling all the way down one of Canterlot Palace’s hallways. “Uh, Twilight? What are you doing now?”

“Oh, hi Spike! I’m just making a list of all the things we’ll need to pack on our list with the others. You can never be too prepared!”

“I’m all for that, Twilight, but why would you need to bring this much stuff? It’s just a trip over the weekend. Not like Discord can’t grab anything we may possibly forget, anyway.”

Twilight looked up from her list in surprise, pondering this idea. “Huh, I guess you’re right!” However, a moment later, she continued, “still, it doesn’t hurt to be ready just in case! I want this trip to go as smoothly as possible!”

Twilight then started rambling about how many bungee cords she ought to pack while Spike watched with a calm neutrality that he saved specifically for these moments. “The real question isn’t if we’ll be ready for the campground, it’s if the campground will be ready for us.”

---

“Sunset gets tripped by a Furbob. Roll for defense,” Discord announced. The Weekly Reformed Villains Get-Together was going again, which meant more Ogres and Oubliettes. Sunset Shimmer rolled her dice, before staring at the 16 that came up.

“Well, that shouldn’t be too bad,” Sunset said calmly.

“Sunset takes 10 damage points, but the Furbob also tripped her next to what is apparently a Sphere of Annihilation disguised as a tree stump. You’re dead, Sunset. Consider yourself lucky Misty set a respawn location a few minutes ago.” He then paused to look over the guide again. “How did that even get into the Enchanted Forest?”

“You tell me, you made this campaign,” Sunset audibly grumbled as she looked over her sheet to figure out her respawn.

---

“Sunset finally rejoins the party, after a bizarre fifteen minutes of being lost and tripping over another Furbob. Welcome back, Sunset.”

“Thank you, Discord,” Sunset replied, having calmed down a little bit with her adventure over. “Still a bit annoying that I died on a stupid tree stump, but I suppose it happens.”

“Took you long enough,” Tempest said. “We lost precious time because you tripped over a Furbob. One of the strangest ways I’ve seen anypony go out in this game.”

“That’s saying a lot considering I made this campaign,” Discord noted smugly. “I’ll have to up my game.”

“It’s not my fault it was a Sphere of Annihilation,” Sunset shot back.

“Not my fault you tripped,” Tempest retorted.

“Discord, I shove Tempest into the tree stump.”

Tempest Shadow botched her defense roll, to Discord’s great amusement and Sunset’s satisfaction. She would have made it back to the party in less than fifteen minutes, but she tripped on a Furbob on the way there and got lost for half an hour while the others played touch hoofball in the game.

---

Rainbow Dash napped lazily on her cloud. Just the perfect time to get some sleep, and there wasn’t a single pegasus in the sky around her. Truly the ideal opportunity.

Then the sound of helicopter blades started being noisy below her. That was new.

Rainbow Dash looked down from her cloud to see Pinkie Pie and Cherry Berry both ascending into the sky, despite the fact that they were both Earth Ponies, in their helicopters. Soon enough, they reached Rainbow Dash’s level, the noise of which made sleep outright impossible.

“Hi, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie shouted happily, oblivious to her friend’s ruined efforts to sleep. “We updated our helicopters!”

“They look exactly the same as before,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

“Well, yes, but if you look closer, you’ll notice we applied a new coat of pink on them both! Now they’re even better!”

Cherry Berry nodded in agreement, clearly pleased with the situation herself.

“How does that make them better?”

“Silly Dashie, having more pink in the sky always makes things better! You know that. Why don’t you take a nap, Cherry Berry and I will fly our helicopters over the park instead!”

And with that, the two pink ponies were gone, driving their helicopters away to ruin any sense of quiet in the park instead of at Rainbow’s cloud, leaving the pony just somewhat confused.

“The skies have never been the same ever since those two decided to cooperate on their flight plan,” Rainbow mused to herself. “But at least they’re respectful to ponies who want to take naps. Speaking of…”

Rainbow Dash immediately fell asleep.

Author's Note:

Well, it might have been half a year, but it looks like the story is back! Now with the longest chapter ever, and the first to top 2,000 words! Talk about exciting.

Looks like I finally used Generation 1 ponies this time as well, which was actually my favorite segment to write this chapter. Not sure how often it will be, but I'm sure there will be more shenanigans in the future, so be sure to stay tuned!

Comments

[Comickook]

Excellent work on the latest chapter. Took a while, but definitely well worth the wait. Definitely liked Discord greeting Opaline in the Void (and, yeah, I could see THE REAL Grogar verbally tearing into Opaline for the way she lost). And also loved the use of the G1 ponies in several of the skits as well as Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy playing cards, the preparations for the camping trip and Discord's O & O game with Sunset and Tempest.

VERY MUCH looking forward to more of this.

[Boltstrike58]

Well, to be fair, Opaline did go out like a loser.