• Published 20th Sep 2012
  • 1,576 Views, 6 Comments

Cutie and the Beasts - AleximusPrime



Fluttershy takes care of all her friends' pets at the same time but things get bad

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I Can't Do It Anymore

CHAPTER 5 - I Can't Do It Anymore

It was dark and there were no sounds but mumbles in Fluttershy’s mind. The darkness slowly started to fade to light and the noises turned into voices. She saw purple and pink above in her vision and started hearing her name over and over again instead of faint mumbles. Her eyelids opened and closed several times and her vision became less blurry and the voices were clearer. It was Twilight and Pinkie standing right above her with very worried faces.

“Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.

“It’s us Fluttershy, your friends.” Pinkie reminded her. “You do remember us, right?”

Fluttershy’s vision was back again and her hearing was fine. But for a moment she forgot what she was waking up from. Was she in bed? No, it was her living room. But what was she doing lying down on her living room floor and why was it a complete mess? And why was her fur and hair all messy and full of dust and stains? Then it came back to her.

“Oh…………Oh Pinkie…Twilight……did I really just do all that?” she asked.

“You did Fluttershy. I stopped you with my magic though. Sorry if it hurt, I had no other choice.” Twilight explained.

Fluttershy remembered it all. She remembered all the harm she caused the animals and how extremely careless she was with handling the whole house. And most importantly, the realization finally dawned on her that she could no longer do this. Tears filled her eyes and a lump formed in her throat and she broke down.

“Girls……….I’M SORRY, I’M SO SORRY!!!”

“We forgive you Fluttershy, but I’m also sorry for letting you have too much of the coffee too, I didn’t even know you would drink more than just a cup or two.” Pinkie apologized frantically. “I mean I didn’t know you could even be capable of being so crazy after having a lot of coffee I mean you were worse than I was the first time I overdid it and drank too much-“

“No Pinkie, that’s not what I meant…” Fluttershy wiped her tears and then sat up. “Girls, I can’t do this anymore. You were right; I just can’t take care of all of these animals! I should have just told you all that first but I’ve always been so good with animals that I thought it would be easy for me but it wasn’t. I tried everything to see if I could find more time to do it and be able to relax but it’s just not possible for me! I just wanted to help and be kind like always but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you all to take your animals back; all of them. I’m sorry if I sound mean for not doing you a favor, but I just can’t do it this time…”

Twilight and Pinkie stood with their mouths open while Fluttershy was talking. Then they looked at each other and smiled and sighed with relief.

“FINALLY!” Pinkie said.

“What? You’re not mad at me?” Fluttershy stopped wiping her tears and looked up at them.

“Fluttershy, of course we’re not mad at you, in fact we’ve actually been waiting for you to admit that for a while now!” Twilight said happily.

“Even though you can’t take care of the animals yourselves?”

“Fluttershy, we may all be busy, but I’m sure I can work out something in my schedule, I always manage. And even if some of us can’t, we can always get another pony that’s good with animals to take care of them or maybe even take them to the vet.”

“Oh…….but why didn’t you just tell me that after I decided to……er, right, because I insisted that I take care of them myself.”

Fluttershy bowed her head and wiped her nose with her hoof as Pinkie handed her a box of tissues.

“Thank you Pinkie…”

“No problem Fluttershy. I’d be happy to take care of Gummy even if I am busy this week at Sugarcube Corner. No offense and all, but I wouldn’t want him getting covered in ice again and die of hypothermianasia.”

“It’s called hypothermia, Pinkie.” Twilight corrected.

“Yeah, what she says.”

“Um……anyways, Fluttershy, don’t think we all are mad that you can’t take care of our animals. We wouldn’t want you to do it if it means you overwork yourself and only invite in more stress into your life.”

“I guess I didn’t really think about that. I should have listened.”

“Hey Fluttershy?” Pinkie spoke and motioned down to her left front leg with something behind it. “Somebody’s here for you…”

Angel peeked out from behind Pinkie’s leg with a somewhat scared look on his face. Fluttershy’s eyes widened and she remembered how she nearly squeezed him to death.

“Oh, Angel……I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll never do that to you again…” Tears formed in her eyes again and she covered her face with her hooves but Angel hopped on over to her and climbed up on her knee. She took her hooves away from her face and saw him sitting on her lap in front of her and he leaned forward and hugged her. She smiled and then hugged him back.

Suddenly some kind of windy breeze could be felt in the room. Some ashes formed up behind Twilight and Pinkie and there was a fiery burst of light and a bird appeared in their midst. Philomena had been reborn.

“Oh Philomena, I’m so sorry you had to see all that. I’m just glad you burst into ashes before I could do any harm to you.”

Philomena flew down next to Fluttershy and nuzzled the side of her head. Then Owloysius flew down on her other side to do the same and she wrapped her wings around them both. Gummy then walked out from behind Pinkie and curled up next to her. Opal walked in sopping wet and although mad about what Fluttershy did, she forgave her and walked up and rubbed her back against her. Lastly, Winona limped in slowly and got up close to Fluttershy and licked her tears away from her face as Fluttershy smiled.

“Awwwwww!” said Twilight.

“Pfffffght……….. WAAAAAAH!! IT’S SO EMOTIONAL!!!” Pinkie said with fountains of tears streaming out of her eyes.



Later that afternoon, everyone had gathered at Twilight’s to meet up and take their pets away and to help cheer up Fluttershy. The animals were doing better although still needing attention and care, but they were happy to be back with their owners. Fluttershy was in the middle of making a letter to Princess Celestia about what she had learned that day. She had washed herself up and combed her hair and was no longer in such a sad mood so she was ready to relay her lesson:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Being the Element of Kindness has taught me that it’s always good to lend a helping hoof and have a good attitude about it, but I’ve also learned that sometimes being too kind may not be such a good thing. I found out the hard way that you should never take too many requests and offers all at once. You can overwork yourself and you may not have the time or energy to do all of it. Sometimes you’ll just have to have the strength to tell your friends that you can’t take all the favors; they’ll understand as long as they know you are doing it for your own good. My friends all taught me that today and I’m thankful that they understood and were willing to take care of their own problems instead of leaving it all to me. From now on I promise I’ll be more careful and take only what offers I can handle.

Your faithful subject,
Fluttershy

“There, did you get all that, Spike?” Fluttershy asked.

“Sure did Fluttershy. Now I’m ready to send it.”

“Actually Spike…” Rainbow Dash said walking in with the Princess’s bird perched on her back, “Philomena’s on her way back to Canterlot, maybe we should let her take the scroll instead.

“Eh…fine, whatever.”

Spike held up the scroll and then Philomena swooped by and grabbed it and flew out the window.

“Bye Philomena!” everyone said waving to her.

“Well Fluttershy, darling, I am so glad you’ve decided to stop watching all our animals, I was so worried about you!” Rarity said with Opal sitting next to her curled up.

“I know. I’m sorry I washed Opal too much again Rarity…”

“Oh it’s alright, dear, I think you actually might have washed out most of her fleas, she seems to be doing wonderful now, maybe I can let her back in the boutique.”

“Winona’s leg is still a’hurtin, but Ah reckon she’ll be cured in no time at all.” Applejack said giving Fluttershy a light pat on the back.

“And Owloysius will be okay as long as I can give him his pain meds every time he’ll need them. It won’t be too much trouble taking care of him even with my busy schedule.” Twilight said before Pinkie jumped in front of her to talk about Gummy who was leached onto her right ear and sucking it.

“And Gummy seems to be doing okay too, I’m sure he’ll be cured of Fline Swu in no time!”

“SWINE FLU!!!” everypony shouted at Pinkie.

“Er, whatever…”

Rainbow Dash then walked into the little circle with Tank slowly following her.

“It’s a good thing Tank wasn’t there for you to go all coffee-crazy on him like the others. But then again, he could have just hid in his shell to protect himself like he always does.”

Rainbow Dash put her hoof around Tank and he smiled slowly while everyone else giggled.

“We’re really happy you made the right decision Fluttershy. And don’t ever be afraid to let us all know if we’re overworking you again, alright?”

“I won’t forget it Twilight, and thank you all for being understanding. Oh, I just thought, has anyone seen Angel around here?”

“He’s right over hear darling…” Rarity said pointing to the side of her where Angel was sitting on the ground. He was itching himself rather fast and furiously just like Opal was doing not too long ago.

“Oh dear, Angel, are you alright?” Fluttershy asked him.

“Uh oh Fluttershy, looks like Opal’s given her fleas to Angel!” Twilight said worriedly.

“Oh my, how dreadful! Here Opal, let Angel have your belt, you aren’t going to be needing that anymore!” Rarity then used her magic to take Opal’s flea belt off and lift it over Angel but it plopped down on the ground around him like a hoola-hoop.

“Looks like ya might have to grow into it there, Sport.” Applejack said trying not to laugh.

Everyone else then laughed and Angel crossed his arms grumpily but Fluttershy then came over and picked him up in her arms.

“Don’t you worry Angel, I have some time to take care of one animal in my cottage, I promise.”

Not very convinced, Angel rolled his eyes and exhaled deeply but Fluttershy giggled lightly and kissed him on the head. Angel’s eyes widened and he blushed a little and turned his head trying to hide his bashfulness but didn’t do such a good job of it.

Fluttershy smiled with confidence knowing she would have it a lot easier now with all the animals out of the way. They were where they needed to be and she was back on track. After a nice long rest that night, she’d being her life over again the proper way.

THE END

Comments ( 5 )

Hmm, the story isn't bad, but it could use some work with the whole "show vs. tell" thing, as much as I don't really like using that phrase. The action tended to be presented in a rather matter-of-fact undetailed way, like "This pony did that, causing X event to happen, because of Y." This paragraph is a good example:

"Rainbow Dash then flew overhead and grabbed Twilight’s hoof she was holding up and pulled her up, but Twilight lost her balance as soon as Rainbow started to pull her and slipped and fell down which caused Rainbow to fall down with her. They both landed with a thud and slided forward toward the bucket of water that Applejack was using and knocked it over which made the floor even more slippery."

There's not much actual description there, just a series of very direct events that makes the action feel kinda flat. Plus "slided" should be "slid" but yeah.

1319909

I never thought of it that way. How would you redo that paragraph?

And Word didn't auto-correct me with the 'slided' part yet somehow Firefox does? :rainbowderp:

1320499

Oof, I was afraid you might ask me that. I'm not really a writer myself, so this is gonna be tricky. Recognizing something that could use some improvement and actually being able to fix it are two different things, but let's see if I can figure something out. Okay, here goes...

"Her hooves doing little good on the slippery floor, Twilight raised one toward the approaching pegasus as a look of mild desperation crept across her face. Quickly clearing the space between them, Dash wrapped her own legs around the proffered purple limb and gave a forceful tug backwards, allowing Twilight the briefest moment of relief as she felt her body beginning to slow. Unfortunately, the unicorn's other three hooves decided they preferred the direction they'd been traveling and continued on without her. Unexpectedly burdened with Twilight's full weight, Dash gave a surprised squeak as she was yanked from the air to join her friend's journey across the floor. The colorful jumble of flailing limbs and confused shouting careened past Applejack, crashing into her mop bucket and spraying another flood across the floor, just in case any spots remained that weren't quite soaked yet."

Might not be perfect, but that's what I came up with. It's a fair amount longer, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, I don't know if that was helpful or not, but hopefully it was.

1321626

Whoa!! No offense but that really isn't what I was expecting. I mean thank you for your input but that kind of writing is really not me, it's way too poetic and I think it would only confuse people if I wrote like that, I actually got lost while reading it. My current style might be kinda boring but I definitely cannot start writing like that. I would like to use a bit of that writing but I can't do the entire thing like that. Maybe mix my current style with what you just gave me and even it out a bit...

Yeah, I might have gone a bit further than necessary, but just as a general idea of putting actions less as a simple statement of fact. But anyway, write however works for you, of course.

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