• Member Since 5th May, 2022
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

John Lock

John Lock Joined 5th May, 2022 · Offline

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Comments ( 10 )
Dragoknight92
Dragoknight92 #1 · Jun 25th, 2022 · · · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #2: Grounding Soarin ·
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Wow, this is similar to the one that Woz and Yabuki had mentioned this before about mares are overpopulating the stallions, but this is a new one in a twisted version.

Deergenerate
Deergenerate #2 · Jun 25th, 2022 · · · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #2: Grounding Soarin ·
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I really love this story, but, if you are open to criticism, I would like to mention that your formatting is a little off.

For instance, in the same paragraph, you often have two separate characters speaking. For example;

Soarin’s front door suddenly knocked as the four of them jumped at the sound and looked at the clock, “It’s nearly 10:00 PM, who is knocking so late?!” Soarin complained before Shining got up, “I’ll get it.”

Here, you have them in the same line, and it can get confusing to the reader who is speaking. A suggestion on how to make this flow clearer would be;

Soarin’s front door suddenly knocked as the four of them jumped at the sound and looked at the clock, “It’s nearly 10:00 PM, who is knocking so late?!” Soarin complained before Shining got up.

“I’ll get it.” The unicorn said.

I hope to read more of this, because I am enjoying it, and I certainly hope you continue writing. It is always good to see someone learning a creative hobby like writing, and I think you should keep improving. 👍👍👍

Ray-Felgrand
Ray-Felgrand #3 · Jun 26th, 2022 · · 1 · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #2: Grounding Soarin ·
Reply

Really liking it! Can’t wait for the Thorax chapter. I seriously don’t understand all the downvotes :rainbowhuh:

Anti-Phoenix
Anti-Phoenix #7 · Jun 26th, 2022 · · · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #1: Seducing Shining Armor ·
Reply

That was hot and the best gay sex script I have ever seen

MagicalPony2099
MagicalPony2099 #9 · Jun 27th, 2022 · · 1 · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #3: Knotting Spike ·
Reply

11282952
You're soo drip, its uncanny. I can't look away of your dripness.

I have a thing for characters with the drip jacket.

Deergenerate
Deergenerate #10 · Jun 27th, 2022 · · · My Little Pony Alternate Universe #3: Knotting Spike ·
Reply

11282592
11282711
A lot of the downvotes can just be attributed to people who just see M/M in the description and instantly dislike.

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