Greencloud`s Life

by derpypony

Greenclouds Life

Greencloud`s Life

So there was this adequate young pegasus filly named Greencloud. He was five years old his dad wanted him to be better than adequate. One day Greencloud`s father went up to him ,and told him,“Son, I want you to be successful in life, so I will make you a deal. If you turn in all of your assignments on time for school, and make some good true friends in school I will get you whatever you want on your 6th Birthday.” That is what Greencloud did; for the next two years Greencloud made a lot of great friends and never missed a single assignment in school.

Two years later Greenclouds father was working at a small business corporation for selling apple pie and the world famous Zap Apple Jam. He was working there one day when he remembered his promise to his son. As he went from work he was thinking of what to say, and what type of super expensive material item his son wanted. He may want a super soaker water blaster, a X-Box (A brand new gaming device at the time), a hundred dollar lego human (mythical creature), a scooter like his friend Scootaloo. As he got home he called for Greencloud and told him,“O.K son, it has been two years, and you did what I asked you to do. Now I must hold my end of the bargain. What do you want my son .” Little Greencloud who was only seven looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, I want a Green golf ball laid inside a green box with pink packaging peanut inside to keep it snug, and make sure a poof bow is tied around the box, poofy not curly but poofy.” Greencloud`s dad was in shock and surprise at this item, but he followed his word and said to his son,“Then you will get that for your birthday.”

The next day Luckyhoof (Greenclouds dad)went online, and ordered a green golf ball from a recently made golfing company. He had to order it online, because you can’t buy a green golf ball from just any golfing store since they are really easy to lose. Next Luckyhoof went to a nearby Walgreens in ponyville because of their excellent selection of packages. Then he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they let him take a free pink peanut. Finally he bought a ribbon that was poofy, not curly but poofy. Two weeks later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning and put the present on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the package, and he opened it up to see if everything was correct. Then put it in his closet never to speak of it again.

1

A few days later Luckyhoof decided this was a good idea, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past two years so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make more great friends, and finally take care of your dog Tiddles.” For the next two years of Greenclouds life he made some more great new friends, feed Tiddles and cleaned up after him with a compassion to it, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later his father knew about the deal already, and was expecting his nine year old son to go for and ipod, a gaming device, or maybe even one of those new car thingies that have recently come out. As he got home he called for Greencloud and told him,“O.K son, it has been two years, and you did what I asked you to do. Now I must hold my end of the bargain. What do you want my son .” Little Greencloud who was only nine now looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, I want ten Green golf balls laid inside ten green boxes with ten pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure they`re ten poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” He was then again caught in total shock and surprise again, and so he said to his son,“If that is what you want then I will get it for you on your birthday.”

The next day Luckyhoof went online, and ordered ten green golf balls from the same golfing company. Next, Luckyhoof went to the nearby Walgreens in ponyville because of their excellent selection of packaging which was voted number one this year. Then, he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they let him take ten free pink packaging peanuts. Finally he bought ten ribbons that were poofy, not curly but poofy. Two weeks later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning and put the presents on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the packages, opened them up one by one to see if everything was correct and then put them in his closet never to speak of them again.

11

A few days later Luckyhoof wanted to continue the deal, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past four years, so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make even more great friends, take care of your dog Tiddles, and help out with your community.” For the next two years of Greenclouds life he made some more great new friends, fed Tiddles and cleaned up after him with a compassion to it, went into his community each day and cleaned up the neighborhood, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later Greenhoof succeeded, and his father went to him hoping that his son will want to buy a lego, a video game, or a laptop. He went to his son and asked him,“Son, you have done very well for the past four years, so now I will hold my end of my bargain. What do you want for your birthday.” Little Greencloud who was only eleven looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, I want one-hundred green golf balls laid inside one hundred green boxes with one hundred pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure there are one hundred poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” Luckyhoof`s hopes were then in vain, but he was expecting it at the same time. “If that is what you want my son then that is what you will get,”answered his father.

The next day Luckyhoof went, and ordered one hundred green golf balls from the same golfing company which was getting really famous now. Next, Luckyhoof went to the nearby Walgreens in ponyville because of their excellent selection of packaging which was voted number one this year two years in a row. Then, he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they let him take one hundred free pink packaging peanuts. Finally he bought one hundred ribbons that were poofy, not curly but poofy. Two weeks later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning and put the presents on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the packages, and he opened them up one by one to see if everything was correct. Then put them in his closet never to speak of them again.

111

A few days later Luckyhoof wanted to continue the deal, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past six years, so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make even more great friends, take care of your dog Tiddles, and join the Filly Scouts of Equestria.” For the next two years of Greencloud`s life he made some more great new friends, fed Tiddles and cleaned up after him with a compassion to it, went into his community to find a Filly Scout Herd and joined one name Herd 1, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later Greencloud succeeded, and his father went to him knowing on what he was wanting to get with a slight hope that he would get anything else. He went to his son and asked him,“Son, you have done very well for the past six years, so now I will hold my end of my bargain. What do you want for your birthday.” Little Greencloud who was only thirteen looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, I want one thousand green golf balls laid inside one thousand green boxes with one thousand pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure there are one thousand poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” Luckyhoof`s hopes were then in vain again, but he was expecting it at the same time. “If that is what you want my son then that is what you will get,”answered his father.

The next day Luckyhoof went, and was expecting for Greencloud to want one thousand green golf balls. Lucky hof bought all of the golf balls a week earlier and had them packed in a crate shipped to his home. Next, Luckyhoof went to the nearby Walgreen's in Ponyville because of their excellent selection of packaging. Then, he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they had him buy one thousand pink packaging peanuts half a bit each. Finally he bought one thousand ribbons that were poofy, not curly but poofy. The prices were starting to steepen a lot now, but Luckyhoof`s name was holding out. He had recently gotten a promotion to Vice adviser of his new booming business of apple products.(not computers) One week later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning and put the presents on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the packages, and he opened them up one by one to see if everything was correct. Once he got to one hundred he stopped and assumed that all of them were o.k. Then put them in his closet never to speak of them again.

1111

Authors thoughts~

Just imagine trying wrap up all the packages in one day. It would take freaking forever. Just mentioning.

A few days later Luckyhoof wanted to continue the deal even though it was really getting strenuous, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past eight years, so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make even more great friends, take care of your dog Tiddles because now he is getting a lot older, and get to the rank of Star Filly in the F.S.E.” For another two years of Greenclouds life he became the most popular Filly in all of Ponyville, fed Tiddles and cleaned up after him with a compassion to it, and gave the poor thing help when Tiddles needed it, became Star Filly in the herd, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later Greenhoof succeeded, and his father went to him knowing on what he was wanting to get with a hope in vain. He went to his son and asked him,“Son, you have done very well for the past eight years, so now I will hold my end of my bargain. What do you want for your birthday.” Little Greencloud who was only fifteen looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, I want ten thousand green golf balls laid inside ten thousand green boxes with ten thousand pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure there are ten thousand poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” Luckyhoof`s hopes were crushed for good, and he knew it was coming. “If that is what you want my son then that is what you will get,”answered his father.

The next day Luckyhoof went, and was expecting for Greencloud to want ten thousand green golf balls. The corporate teams at the golfing company know knew Luckyhoof, and his history with there company. Luckyhoof bought all of the golf balls a few weeks earlier, and had them packed in a crate and shipped to his home with the shipping free and all of the golf balls discounted by fifty percent. Next, Luckyhoof went to the nearby Walgreen's in ponyville to buy the packages to put the golf balls in. Then, he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they had him buy ten thousand pink packaging peanuts half a bit each. Finally he bought ten thousand ribbons that were poofy, not curly but poofy. A few weeks earlier too Luckyhoof had a renovation of his house and had Greenclouds closet turned into a walk in closet putting all of his previous golf balls put in the very back. One week later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning and put the presents on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the packages, and he opened them up one by one to see if everything was correct. Once he got to one hundred he stopped and assumed that all of them were o.k. Then put them in his closet never to speak of them again.

11111

Dang man. When is this story going to end. I am falling asleep over on this end. Since I am wasting time on this end listening and writing pony here is the story. Why did I have to make this story so long. Well anyways this is the rest of the story. You will soon find out what the green golf balls are for.

A few days later Luckyhoof wanted to continue the deal even though it was really strenuous plus expensive, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past ten years, so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make even more great friends, take care of your dog Tiddles because now he is getting a lot older, and get to the rank of Life Filly and Senior Herd Leader in the F.S.E.” For another two years of Greenclouds life he became a really well know pony in Equestria, fed Tiddles and cleaned up after him with a compassion to it, but unfortunately Tiddles passed away in the middle of the second year, became Life Filly and Senior Herd Leader in the F.S.E on the second year and re-elected, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later Greencloud succeeded, and his father went to him knowing on what he was wanting to get. Luckyhoof`s luck always bailed him out of anything, so he had on last trick up his hoof`s. He went to his son and said to him him,“Son, you have done very well for the past twelve years, so now I will hold my end of my bargain. I have a deal for you this time though... If you don’t get the green golf balls this year I will buy you a new Lamborghini with the insurance all paid by me.” Little Greencloud who wasn’t so little anymore looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, as much I want to take upon your bargain, I must decline. What I want are one hundred thousand green golf balls laid inside one hundred thousand green boxes with one hundred thousand pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure there are one hundred thousand poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” Flabbergasted Luckyhoof replied,“If that is what you really want my son then that is what you will get.”

The next day Luckyhoof went, and wasn’t expecting for greencloud to want the golf balls. The corporate teams at the golfing company were big buyers of his apple corperation since he was elected corporate president. Both were on good terms so Luckyhoof bought all of the golf balls a little late, and had them packed in crates. Then, he had them shipped to his home with the shipping free. Next, Luckyhoof went to the nearby Walgreens in ponyville to buy the packages to put the golf balls in. Then, he went to a nearby packaging peanut plant where they had him buy one hundred thousand pink packaging peanuts half a bit each. Finally he bought a hundred thousand ribbons that were poofy, not curly but poofy. Luckyhoof then organized a team of packing ponies to help pack away all of the golf balls since he can’t do it all on his own. One week later it was his son's birthday so Luckyhoof woke up early that morning, and put all of the presents on Greencloud`s desk. When Greencloud woke up he saw the packages, and he opened them up one by one to see if everything was correct. Once he got to one hundred he stopped and assumed that all of them were fine. Then put them in his closet never to speak of them again.

111111

WHY WON`T YOU END YOU EVIL THING!!!!!!

A few days later Luckyhoof regretting his decision wanted to continue the deal even though it was really strenuous plus expensive, so he went to his son and said,“Greencloud, you did excellent for the past twelve years, so I will give you the same deal again except you have to keep doing all of your school assignments, make even more great friends, make perfect scores in school, and get to the rank of Alicorn in Herd 1.” (The hardest and most strenuous rank to acheive) For another two years of Greenclouds life he became a famous pony in all of Equestria, became of Alicorn rank, perfect GPA in school, and never missed a single school assignment.

Two years later Greencloud succeeded, and his father went to him knowing on what he was wanting to get. Greencloud also did so well in school that he was offered a diploma to Canterlot College where only the most famously gifted ponies can get in, and he accepted the diploma and left a few days after his birthday. Luckyhoof went to his son and said to him,“Son, you have done very well for the past fourteen years, so now I will hold my end of my bargain one last time except I will let you have two wishes for anything you may want.” Little Greencloud who wasn’t little anymore looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes and said,“Daddy, what I want are one million green golf balls laid inside one million green boxes with one million pink packaging peanuts inside to keep them snug, and make sure there are one million poofy bows are tied around the boxes, poofy not curly but poofy.” Luckyhoof replied,“If that is what you really want my son then that is what you will get.” “Daddy,” said Greencloud,“Am I still able to seal the Lamborghini deal with you from last year. I need a way to get from place to place without the help of the train, and I was hoping I can be a done deal.” Luckyhoof simply looked into his son's eyes with tears streaming down them, and answered,“Yes son, I am able to still do the deal.

Why am I crying

The next day Luckyhoof went off, and bought the new Lamborghini of Greenclouds choice. ( Luckyhoof bought the car, but Greencloud insisted on paying for the insurance of the car) Next, Luckyhoof went to the website of the Golfing company, and he ordered one million golf balls crated, shipped, and delivered to his home. Then he went to the Walgreen`s website and also order one million packages crated, shipped, and deliver with the golf balls. Then went to the packaging peanut plant where he bought the peanuts. Finally, he ordered the ribbons which came in a day after the packaging's arrived. Then Luckyhoof rented a U-Haul trailer to haul it all the way to Canterlot. Luckyhoof them got a volunteer team to help with packing the packages. Finally he got them all stored in the U-haul on Greenclouds birthday. Greencloud then woke up finding his room bare from packing, and his father and him moved the one hundred eleven thousand one hundred eleven previous golf balls packed into the trailer.

O.k... It still hasn’t ended yet. I give up on this story. Call me when this story flipping ends because I want a sandwich.

Luckyhoof went to his son just before he got into his car to go to Canterlot. He said to him,“Son, you have been a perfect pony for as long as I can remember. You deserve the best in life, but unfortunately, I can not give it to you. Just follow your dreams and you will be successful... just as you have for the past fourteen year.”

“Daddy, you have given me the experience, and love that no other father could have given to me.”replied Greencloud,“You have taught me how to be responsible and take care of others. I am thankful for all that you have done for me. What I am really trying to say is... I love you daddy, and I always will.”

Just then a volley of tears came from his eyes. Just as he was wiping the tears away Greencloud galloped to his father with tears streaming, and gave him a hug that he would treasure forever.

“I love you too Greencloud,”as an emotional father would say,“I can never have a son like you.”

Greencloud then separated from the hugfest the two of them had, and still teary eyed gave his last goodbyes to his father before he left. Just as he left Luckyhoof started to wonder what all the golf balls were for. He got into his car (which he had bought quite recently) and started to follow Greencloud down the air traffic control highway. Just then Greencloud started going faster and faster and faster down the highway.

I heard the ending was coming up. You know that sense of freedom when you first drive a car; that is what Greencloud is feeling. I like sandwich.

He went for 65mph to 130mph in just a few minutes. Greencloud was just flying down the highways as if there was no care in the world in a fabulous Lambo with a U-Haul trailer behind. Fortunately there wasn’t any air traffic currently, and this went of for an hour and a half. Then the worst occurred; Greencloud moved into the opposite lane, and he kept on going at the same speed. Then, just as it seemed that Greencloud was getting to his sense from Luckyhoof`s view a semi came out of nowhere. The Lambo curved away from the semi... but not fast enough. The semi tried to slow down, but it ran into Greencloud right in the rear fender causing the Lamborghini to barrel roll. Greencloud flipped six times losing the trailer, and the Lambo landed on a cloud leaking rainbows fuel everywhere changing the color of the cloud. The trailer was smashed through by the semi and golf balls flew everywhere lost to the ground below.

Luckyhoof stopped in shock as he saw his sons car stop moving on the cloud. He pulled over onto a nearby cloud, and flew over to Greencloud as fast as possible. He got to the totaled Lambo; as he was pulling his son out of the wreckage time seemed to slow down for him until it seemed to be a wicked nightmare... only it was real. He got his son free, and Greenhoof began to revive.

“SON... SON, get up... you will be just fine. The paramedics are on their way to help. You will live I know it...” at this time Greencloud was conscious. He wasn’t wailing in pain, but laying on the ground calmly. Then, Greencloud said to his father,“Dad, it is no use. There is nothing you can do.” Luckyhoof knew what he meant, so he asked,“Son, I wish there was something I could do, but I can’t. Before you go I have one question to ask of you. What were the green golf balls for?”

Little Greencloud who wasn’t so little anymore looked at his father with a little glimmer in his eyes... and then he died.

WHAT KIND OF STORY WAS THAT!!! Curse you Dinkleberg!

Hope you enjoyed the story though. Now I must dispose of my computer for letting me write such a story.

Comments

[CanterlotGuardian]

You probably should dispose of your brain first, because it's obviously not functioning, probably in the latter stages of rigor mortis.

[Freeze]

I am quite surprised this story has not been hit with a volley of Train Wreck Explorers.
Let's get this monstrosity over with, shall we?

There are very few grammar and spelling errors that I could see, put I'm mostly focusing on the plot.

And this is how I put the entire plot of the story:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnxbzu2MFo1qgvqv7o1_500.gif
I mean, dear god, man! This story is as much fun as going to a Justin Bieber concert! I'd have a better time staring at a rock!
It's like you copy and pasted the paragraphs, but made slight adjustments to make the numbers correct. How this story got a single like, I have no idea.

I mean, all the story is about is some kid wanting golf balls for his birthday by doing chores. So truly sum up the entire plot:
THERE IS NO PLOT

And then, let's look at towards the ending.
Never, EVER put author's thoughts/comments/notes in the middle of stories. This just ruins the flow of a story. You need to put them at the end of every story.
And then there's the end itself. My thought is simply this:
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSogBGvgNIgw6cop9g9J5etf52YSiEAgh4trB7Waegwoy37L9s8
That ending. I think you were trying to make a cliffhanger. I'm not saying cliffhangers are bad, its just you need to have something else after a cliffhanger of this intensity. I mean, the whole story revolved around stupid golf balls, and the ending doesn't even state why he wanted them.

So, in conclusion:
You need to redo this entire story. The plot is just as void as the mind of a cucumber.
----
I think I see a volley of snowballs....

[CanterlotGuardian]

1299011

I'd have a better time staring at a rock!

denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2943-Pinkie_Pie_Approves.png

[derpypony]

Freeze
This was just a story to troll the reader
I wanted to write this story because it was just a complete waste of time.
It was suppose to be long so it will edge on readers to know what the golf balls were for
Then he died and no one knows what they were for
Now that you know he story I hope you get it
This will be my only trolling story
~Derpy

[Freeze]

I knew this already. That's why I put it under 'Frozen Solid'.

[derpypony]

i have now succeded

[fluttershy97]

wtf