Those Teal Eyes
Rarity groaned inwardly, "come on Fancy Pants, I need this!"
"I'm sorry Rarity. I tried everything I could. I really did!" A posh voice answered back on the phone. One of the latest designs; the Buck 13 Pro. It had incredible options with the multiple cameras that lined the back, 128 Megabucks of data, and only 6 inches.
"Alright, fine. Thanks anyways, darling." Rarity hung up and buried her face in her hands. For a few moments, the fashionista could only see her flawless white skin before pulling herself up with determination. If she was going to get things done, might as well do it herself!
Rarity went to her vanity closet, and it was a closet, and pulled out some lipstick and mascara. If she was going to be out in public, she better fix her makeup. She couldn't look anything but fabulous! After a hard stare in the mirror, she also pulled out a hairbrush and made sure her purple hair looked nothing less then perfect. After a few more minutes of making sure everything was in order, Rarity grabbed her coat she got from Coltci, and stepped outside.
She took a deep breath of fresh air and started walking away from her penthouse. Rarity's blue eyes fixating on nothing as thoughts swirled about in her head, trying to form something cohesive but failing horribly. She instinctively turned a corner without actually looking and stumbled over something.
No...somebody.
"Oh my dear, I'm so sorry. Let me compensate for being so rude!" Rarity picked herself off the ground just as fast as she went down, and peeked inside her bag and started rummaging through it.
"Still generous I see, Rarity." Her name being called caught Rarity off guard. She looked closely at the person she assumed was just a normal homeless person. The person stared back, and despite the grime and mud over her face, Rarity saw the piercing teal eyes of her long forgotten friend.
"Ahh...ummm...S-Sunset! Sunset Shimmer, you gave me a heart attack!" Rarity paused and thought for a bit, then decided, "Darling, you must come with me! This is unbecoming of you, why haven't you come earlier! We'll get you back on your feet in no time!"
Rarity pulled the poor dear up and dusted off some of the dirt that was all over Sunset's moldy hoodie. Then she started dragging her friend back to her house, determined to make everything right between her and Sunset.
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
A low whistle came from Sunset's mouth as she gazed at Rarity's home. From the front door, you could see a hallway filled with expensive artwork; a staircase on the left led up to her suite bedroom, complete with a sauna, a queen-sized bed, and a minibar. Down the hallway, it led to Rarity's designer workspace and her living room, filled with a massive couch and a TV that covered the whole wall.
"Darling, want kind of clothes do you want? I've got everything from Coltci to Filly Choo. So what will it be, dear?" Rarity looked at Sunset with a hopeful gaze.
"A leather jacket would be nice," Sunset's hard gaze switched from furniture back to Rarity, "but really, I'm fine. No need to fit me in a fancy get up."
"Oh no, I insist, darling. I can't bear seeing you on the streets, living off scraps, and that includes those dreadful clothes!" Rarity shuffled her friend into her walk-in closet and closed the door to give her some privacy, "now, do dress up Sunset. We can't have you look like a homeless person in my house!"
"Alright Rarity, I'll do what you want." That comment made Rarity's heart flutter.
After a few minutes, Sunset sashayed out wearing a plain turquoise dress that complimented her orange skin and teal eyes. Over said dress was a leather jacket. She struck a pose, a cocky grin on her face and an eyebrow raised, as she faced Rarity.
"Good choice darling, it suits you perfectly. But if were to be so blunt, what brand is it? I don't remember ever owning something so...drab." Rarity hesitated, trying to rack her brain if she ever owned something like that.
"Timatimaana." Sunset's grin went even wider at Rarity's baffled look.
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
The two friends sat opposite each other, one on the couch and the other sitting upon a comfortable couch.
"So, what's happening with you, Rarity?" Sunset plucked a grape from a fruit bowl, placed on the $4,000 coffee table, and popped it in her mouth.
"Oh, you know darling, just designing and such. But the real question is how did you fall so low?" Rarity leaned forwards on her chair, trying to glean as to why she was sitting in the streets.
"Have you seen our other friends lately?" Sunset blatantly ignored her question and popped another grape into her mouth.
"Um, oh uh, it appears not. Oh dear, I've just been so focused on my business and designing the latest fashion trends, I totally forgot about them!" Rarity pulled her phone from her bag and scrolled through her contacts, finding only Fluttershy and Pinkie.
"Like me?" Sunset whispered softly, her gaze not betraying anything.
Rarity winced, "yes, like you. Now, let's see, Fluttershy is still here in Canterlot, she set up that animal shelter. Applejack is working at her family's farm as to be expected. Oh, um, oh dear, I don't know where the others are. Oh here's Pinkie's phone number!"
"It won't work."
"Why won't it work, darling? Now I know it's been a wh..."
"Hello? Who's this? How do you have my phone number?" A gruff voice answered the phone. Rarity just sat still and held her breath in shock. After a few more minutes of silence, the man cursed and hung up.
"T-that vagrant! He spoke with such vulgar language, I ought to wash his mouth with soap! Wait, darling, how did you know that wouldn't work?" Rarity tilted her head, trying to see what those teal eyes held.
"Pinkie's in Prance. She's a pretty famous baker, got a mysterious sponsor one day and she went up the ranks within a couple of years. Seems like you didn't know that." Sunset tilted her head in kind.
"Prance you say. My, she's finally found her dream, hasn't she?" Rarity's voice lowered as she felt something crack inside her.
"She's known for her parties and laughs, very popular with the kids. Keeping up with her element, wouldn't you say?" Sunset replied, her voice betraying nothing. She fell silent, letting Rarity think about what she had just said.
"Her element?" She whispered, her gaze far away. "Right, back then when we had magic. I was the element of generosity, at least that's what Princess Twilight said."
"Speaking of Twi, did you know she's a teacher at Hayvard? Finally using that brain of her to use." Rarity finally detected something in Sunset's voice. Was that pride?
"Hayvard? That's quite studious." Rarity leaned backwards in her chair, that crack growing ever wider.
"Quite. When was the last time you checked up on either of us, Rarity. Your friends, Rarity!" Sunset's voice turned harder, if that was possible. Her words, even though it were the truth, pierced her soul even more.
"I w-went to the spa last month with Fluttershy. But I must confess, it must've been..." Rarity trailed off, her eyes trailing over to the calendar that hung on her fridge.
"15 years, Rarity. I haven't heard or seen from you in 15 years. For Twilight and Pinkie, it's been even longer. Did you even know that Rainbow Dash was killed in action? Or that Applejack's farm was burned down? Fluttershy was almost thrown onto the streets, she was so broke that even her kindly landlord couldn't cover for her anymore!" Sunset didn't even move, not even a twitch, as those teal eyes bored into Rarity's heart, finally shattering it.
"Rainbow...dead? My dear Fluttershy, almost homeless? Poor Applejack..." Rarity could feel tears slowly building up, not yet to be released.
"She got a funeral worthy of her legacy, everyone was there, except you. When we heard the news that Fluttershy was being thrown out, we all pitched in. Except you. We helped Applejack's family to rebuild the farm. Except YOU!" Those beautiful teal eyes didn't look so beautiful anymore.
Each time she said 'except you,' it was like a stab to the chest, but those eyes, that was the final twist of the knife. Tears flowed freely, ruining her hundred dollar mascara, down her cheeks and into her Coltci jacket. Those tears turned into sobs. Rarity's vision turned blurry as she curled up, trying to gain any comfort possible. She stiffened when she felt Sunset hug her, then relaxed, letting all her emotions out with great heaves.
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
Rarity woke up with a gasp. She touched her messed up makeup from her still teared stained face and sighed. She then looked around and sighed dejectedly when she saw that Sunset was nowhere to be found. She didn't blame her. Sunset must have thought she was a monster for being so heartless to her friends. Not being there for the good and the bad. Especially the bad.
Rarity got up from her chair, which she now looked at with disgust, and stretched. Her blue eyes wandered to the clock, pronouncing that it was 4:45am. The fashionista sighed and walked over to the fridge and opened it. The cool air made Rarity shiver as she grabbed a bottle of wine and pulled it out. The label reads Miroiter.
Rarity slowly trudged back while trying to pry the cork out of the bottle. She was successful before she reached her comfy chair. She plopped down unceremoniously and prepared to take a long swig, maybe a few more afterwards. Just as she was about to put the bottle to her lips, a phone caught her eye. More specifically, a teal phone.
Within seconds, the bottle was gone and the phone was in Rarity's hand, "it can't be..." and yet it was. The phone was undoubtedly Sunset's and it was the Buck 14. Rarity stared at the object in awe, the product that wasn't even out, and yet Sunset had one.
With tentative hands, Rarity opened the phone, pleasantly surprised to find it had no password, and froze. The first thing that lay before her blue eyes, was the contact list. Her friends' contacts, including Sunset's. Rarity could feel her eyes water a bit, but held it in. Through the wet haze, Rarity could just make out something white on the coffee table. She reached out, then stopped herself and smiled.
Rarity pulled out her own phone, that Buck 13 Pro, and dialled Fancy Pants.
"Hello, this is Fancy Pants; what can I..."
"Fancy, this is Rarity. Be a dear and donate all the money, that we currently have in the bank, to charities all over Canterlot. Doesn't matter how small the charity or how tedious it'll be, I want this done."
"RARITY! What has gotten into you? The company will go in debt, we won't be able to manufacture clothing designs, our workers won't get their pay!"
"My dear Fancy, I have a feeling everything is going to be all right." Rarity hung up before her manager could say anything and smiled as she held up a check for 10 million dollars.
And those teal eyes? Those teal eyes, they twinkled.
Stats
Page generated in 0.063 seconds
Total duration
996 users online
348,966 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I’m a little confused. What was sunset so upset about? Plus, why was she on the streets?
11232843
that's the mystery, ain't it? Also she's mad cuz Rarity basically blew all of em off for her company
Feels rushed. And the character voices and narration are leaking over into each other in a few places.
Also, what exactly is going on here? Sunset is clearly keeping in regular contact with everybody except Rarity. And apparently she's homeless now, and hanging out outside Rarity place? Does she not know this and it's a chance encounter? Or is she specifically there to berate her? The last bit almost seems like it was all a dream until Rarity finds Sunset's phone...which she left there? So...is Sunset homeless and leaving phones with rich people on a lark, or did she deliberately go seeking Rarity to push her to get back in touch and that's why she was there in the first place but she couldn't be bothered to clean up?
And then we reach the ending. Where after the entire story leadup being about Rarity not keeping in touch, rather than calling her friends you have her donating money to charity instead?
I don't want to be too harsh here, but this is definitely rushed. And it almost comes across like you had two unrelated, but not-entirely-finished stories rolling around in your head at the same time, and rather than fleshing either of them out, it seems like instead you kind of mashed them together.
11232873
You make some good points, but as to why Sunset's homeless, thats the part that I want to keep a mystery. There is a mystery tag to the story for a reason. I'll go over the story tomorrow as I am not fit in the mind as of right now. Thanks for saying this, it helps a lot.
Idk man, I think it's pretty interesting how Sunset yelled at Rarity for not staying in contact with them, but it seems like they put in very little contact as well. You were so obsessed with writing the prices and how expensive everything was, over and over again, to show how 'shallow' Rarity is. But Rarity immediately took in Sunset the second she saw her, so it wasn't that Rarity became selfish, it was that the friend group seemed to drift away from Rarity. Like, you're going to tell me that the Rarity who immediately took in one of her friends is the same Rarity who didn't show up to a funeral? I only believe that if not much effort was made into telling her, because it seems Rarity genuinely didn't know.
And of course, that ending. All of the money? So, you're telling me she's going to bankrupt the company because she felt 'guilty'?
This was rushed, and a VERY weird inconsistency of character development. Something tells me rich people are selfish from your story.
11232881
I didn't ask why, and that's not important. The question is what's actually going on?
Is Sunset actually homeless or is that simply Rarity's perception because her worldview is so out of whack? Sunset's certainly not acting homeless. She's seems to be in good spirits, Rarity apparently gives her clothing instead of food or money, and Sunset insists that she's fine, and at the end of the story she apparently gives a phone away.
It comes across like Sunset isn't homeless at all, and the point of all of this is to drive home how out of touch Rarity is that she thinks Sunset is homeless just because she's not dressed up fancy. And if so, then it makes sense that Sunset is there because was specifically looking for Rarity to give her the phone to help her get back in touch with everyone.
But...if that's what's going on, and Sunset is there to give Rarity the nudge she needs to remember to care about people more than money, then Rarity is completely missing the point. It makes Rarity look terrible if her flaw is that she cares too much about money and not enough about people, yet even after being reminded about people, she still focuses on money anyway.
But you also describe Sunset as having mud on her face and her hoodie being moldy...so it does seem like maybe Sunset actually is homeless. But if so, then what's she doing in the rich part of town? How do you reconcile that she's still in contact with everybody but living like this? How do you reconcile that she's current on what everybody's doing, but apparently is living on the street outside Rarity's place and somehow doesn't know? What exactly is she going do with a fancy dress except have a hard time begging because nobody's going to give money to someone in a ball gown? Why is she giving her phone away to somebody who obviously doesn't need it? Did Sunset stumble on Rarity by total coincidence and leave her phone on accident which means everything happening in this story is just random chance?
Do you see how this story is struggling between two very different ideas?
I think it would be a lot better if you would settle down on definitely one point you want to make and drive it home, rather than flirting with both ideas and not sufficiently developing either of them.
11232860
Ohh. Is that what happened?
While I agree there is a lack of explanation, for a one shot it’s still very stirring. Well done.
11232905
Rarity was going to give some money to the 'homeless' person, but when Rarity saw that it was Sunset, she immediately felt guilty for not keeping in touch and therefore wanted to make it up to her. Rarity didn't know about the funeral and all the friend's misfortunes because she pushed away her friends, not them drifting away, so she can make the company thrive.
Yes I agree, the money part at the end doesn't seem that great now that I look at it. I will go over and change some stuff to make it flow better.
Thanks for giving critical feedback, mucho helpful!
11232906
Ok, so my line of thinking was that Sunset was a very successful person, as shown throughout the story, but very hidden. Timatimaana is Shimmer in Hindi and Miroiter is Shimmer in French.
She wants to make amends with Rarity, the friend who brushed away her friends for fame and glory. If Sunset were to schedule a meeting with Rarity via agent, it would take a while. If Sunset were to show up, light chat would be made before Rarity would excuse herself. But if Sunset were to show up as a homeless person, Rarity would have no choice but to take notice and take her in.
The money part at the end, I agree, was the weakest point. Could have done that better, but my line of thinking was that piece of paper underneath the phone was a cheque for millions of dollars to help keep her company afloat, its understandable to miss it, and Rarity'll donate the rest of her money to charity, as penance for not keeping touch.
I'm going to rewrite sometime later today, so just wait a bit, but the whole fact about Sunset being on the streets while rich is supposed to be a mystery the reader is supposed to piece together.
11233013
Thanks, much appreciated!
I really enjoyed this story a lot.
11246595
thanks, that means a lot!
11246653
You're very welcome.
Very rushed.
11274120
i suppose, if u want to think it like that