• Published 22nd Mar 2022
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Don't Bug Me - Starscribe



Amie was prepared for a difficult season as a camp counselor. She wasn't prepared for her entire summer camp vanishing from Earth, and reappearing in a strange new world. Now they're bugs, in a world that seems to hate them. Survival not guaranteed.

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Chapter 85

Amie took the princess through her nest, one floor at a time. She ignored the pointed stares of Natane, and the eyes of the queen watching through them. Her incredible disguise of an Equestrian casualty was instantly replaced, leaving her as an uninteresting pony.

She was not the only one—hundreds of Amie's swarm had other bodies of their own now. Many kept them all the time, even though maintaining a transformation required a little more magic. She could hardly blame them, when the alternative was seeing a disgusting bug reflected in the mirror.

Where Princess Celestia walked, the chaos and fear of her bugs faded to the background. They could not stand in the presence of such incredible magical might without being touched by it. Many who sobbed and clutched each other in terror sat up from their places as Celestia entered, watching intently.

Her presence brought more than magical warmth, though. Light came with it, and the heat of full sunlight.

"We came here as a summer camp," Amie explained, when they reached the first residential floor. "In my world, parents send their children for one or two weeks. They swim, climb, and adventure, then go home again. Their only adults are the counselors of each cabin—one guy, one girl."

The princess said nothing as they passed through the first floor. Her eyes were sharp, taking in every detail of the conditions inside. She saw their sleeping bags, makeshift furniture, and brackish canteens of water. Pain radiated from her, joining the simple background of compassion and concern for Equestria's ponies. She didn't just feel it for the bugs dressed up as ponies either.

"How many are there?" the princess finally asked, when they made it to the end of one corridor and circled back around to the beginning. "How many shelter here?"

"About eight hundred campers. Another two hundred staff. A little less, recently. We suffered... casualties, not sure how many yet."

The princess watched her, attention as sharp as it had been for any of the shelters and their frightened inhabitants. With her horn emitting a steady stream of sunlight, Amie couldn’t know if she was casting other spells. Maybe there were truth spells, or some other way to read Amie the way she could feel the princess's emotions.

"Slain by ponies?" the princess asked. "These... foals. My occupation commander took so many of your lives?"

"In the attack—maybe. There were some not present in the shelter when the airships arrived. I don’t know what happened to them yet. But otherwise, only a few. Most died to starvation--starvation caused by your occupation. We couldn't leave the mountain without being hunted and killed. There is a graveyard on the mountain, more than a dozen are buried there. Because instead of sending negotiators--hell, instead of putting up signs warning us not to leave--your occupation force just killed anyone who tried."

The princess’s expression remained inscrutable for a time. Amie was probably pushing her luck with every word--no matter the truth of the occupation, she depended on the Alicorn’s mercy. But now there was finally someone to listen, how could she keep silent?

“Equestria’s past experience with others who looked like you did not… suggest they were capable of negotiation. I am told the first encounter with your kind took pony lives as well. Whatever the circumstances, none of my officers thought it suggested you were any different. Before today, I didn’t question the commander’s judgment. I was mistaken.”

Amie bit back further argument for now. No matter her anger, she was in no place to make demands of this princess. They needed diplomacy now, even if Equestria hadn’t given them much reason to try.

"I see many of your kind wear other faces, though there are no eyes to mislead. Ponies, birds, and other creatures. Why?"

Amie lowered her voice to a whisper. In the dense corridors of her nest, there were many listening ears, and some of those would probably be close enough to overhear.

"Because we're monsters. The revulsion that twists the guts of every Equestrian when they see our kind—we feel the same thing. Unnatural, freakish creatures. We should not look this way. When we first arrived, we did not know our own powers, or our needs. Once we did, most choose to use it the way you see."

The princess followed her for a few minutes more, passing through another corridor of frightened bugs. This was evidently enough to satisfy her, because she waved them back to the top. "But now that I have, I am more confounded than before." The princess's horn brightened, leaving a shell of light around them. What privacy Amie tried to take with a little discretion, the princess solidified by magic.

"I know your kind. Changelings are understood in Equestria. We have had whispers of parasitic hunters for many generations—but only in recent years did any dare attack openly. I see the truth of my sister's words, without knowing how it is possible. You are changelings, and yet you are not. What are you?"

"Human," she answered. "We may look like bugs now, but we should be something else. Like..." She had none of her possessions with her anymore. Maybe her phone was rubble in her office, or maybe it was with her other belongings down in the nest far below the ground. Either way, she wouldn't be able to use it here.

Amie transformed. For the salvation of her species, for the lives of her campers and every bug yet unborn. She had two legs, not four. She had two arms, and soft pink skin. She had long blonde hair, breasts in the right place, small eyes and a flat face. She had her counselor’s uniform, her boots, even her name tag.

Amie dropped to the ground a second later, panting visibly with the effort. Sweat trickled down her body, and her heart raced. Yet despite all pain and difficulty, she had done it.

After months banished to an alien world, Amie was human again. She waited for the wave of relief and satisfaction, waited for the comfort of being herself after all this time. Nothing came. Instead, she found her balance, her movements lacking her usual grace and poise. Without a horn, she wouldn't even be able to levitate! Maybe if she found a place to stick some wings...

She abandoned the thought, and instead extended one hand towards the princess, fingers outstretched. When she spoke, she was back to her own voice—her real voice, lacking the strange reverberation, or the tone of another mouth. Instead of regal and proud, she found her voice strangely flat to her ears.

"This is how we should look. Before we were banished here."

The princess stopped dead in the hallway. In all this time, nothing had shocked the princess until now. This did. "Then it is true. You've come from beyond the Outer Gates. Your road took you from another reality."

Amie nodded. Those gestures still made sense, even if much about her old and new body left her lacking coordination and confidence. "I was researching where with one of my friends—Ivy Path, the unicorn you teleported here. I think she was close. Her notes are still in the Path family study."

Celestia's expression remained entirely unreadable. Yet in that silence, Amie read another kind of information, and her own fear grew in response. This entire time, the princess shared her feelings without resistance. That was clearly not because she wasn't capable of hiding them. She wanted Amie to know how she felt. Only now did she hold back.

"You were... intelligent," the princess continued. "Civilized. You built and loved and hated and grew. All in forms like that? Not equinoid."

Amie nodded faintly. "Is there something wrong? Are you going to... revoke your offer of peace?" Tears welled on her face, though Amie couldn't say where they came from. She'd been stretched so far beyond her normal abilities that it was all a blur at that point. How many times could she save her camp before she was the one who needed saving?

"Child, no. Of course not. If Equestria had known... if we had understood months ago, all this pain could've been prevented. This is not what I mean. It is the prospect of a return. There are..." She shook her head once, and her emotions became clear to Amie again. Pain, and regret. "Many of you may never see the soil of your home again. But explaining why would take time better devoted to other tasks."

Light flashed, and they were back in the upstairs meeting room. In the intervening time, a number of ponies and bugs had gathered there—counselors from below, a handful of staff. Tailslide of course, Beth, and Ivy. A single terrified-looking pony wearing a military uniform. Then Natane, lingering near the back in the shape of a different random pony.

Even so, her presence couldn't escape Amie's notice. Where she should've felt the emotions of the transformed drone, there was only silence.

"Quartermaster Spear!" Amie waved one fleshy hand in his direction, grinning in spite of herself. She couldn't resolve the weight of Celestia's painful statement, and all the truth it carried. The truth would come in its time—but other tasks would have to come first.

"What are you?" he asked, a little fear pierced by surprise. He wasn't the only one—several bugs turned towards her, pointing. She heard their thoughts, ranging from indignant to impressed. Many asked her to make them human again. All had been refused. Even now, she was fairly certain she couldn't create such a powerful transformation.

"Oh, right. You know me as..." She changed, and this time needed no incredible investment of power and focus. Giving up the human form was a bit like lowering her arms after holding them a long time—she settled back into a familiar, relaxed position.

Into Rain Fly, the unicorn who was just old enough to be going out on her own, lean and athletic from a lifetime of adventuring. "Remember me?"

He gasped. "All this time, you were... we were infiltrated! The commander's helpless daughter..."

"Not helpless," Ivy snapped, glaring at him. "Amie, you didn't have to show him like that."

Light flashed in the little meeting room, and another pony appeared beside them. The others all bowed afresh, muttering their obedience to Princess Luna.

Not Amie, though. Whatever gratitude she felt to the Equestrians, she was here representing Stella Lacus now. Director Albrecht couldn't help her anymore.

Luna eyed the cramped chamber, tail flicking rapidly in annoyance. "This is it? What a dreadful place."

"We would've met you in the staff building," Amie said. "But your navy turned it into a crater. This is all we have on short notice."

The princess nodded sharply. "We have heard. Another travesty to add to our growing list."

Princess Celestia's horn glowed again, and several chairs pushed themselves together near the center. A scroll appeared there, along with an elaborate quill pen. "Join me, Amie Blythe. Representative... or queen. What do you call yourself?"

Amie stiffened. Tears swelled involuntarily, as she thought back to their last, desperate defense, and the bug who fell there. "Director."


They spoke for a very long time, in what had once been the queue line of the minecart coaster. Surrounded by Celestia's bubble of silence, they discussed every possible aspect of the camp—what rebuilding it would be like, what should be done for the many bugs within, and what their relationship with Equestria would look like.

She had nothing to hold over Equestria—no threats she could make, or tools to bargain. Equestria had them in their power, free to enact whatever punishment they chose. They could exterminate them; they could extract violent retribution for the sins of the Erovores.

Even outside the bubble, Amie felt the watching eyes of Kaya on her. That bug waited attentively, watching for Amie's painful betrayal. When would the Alicorns tire of speaking to her and slash her belly open with their magic?

You cannot reason with barbarians. There can be no peace, only safety in obscurity. They are animals, not people. Your only reward will be the painful death of your tribe.

The knife did not come. Instead came hours of negotiation, pages and pages of formal treaty penned by the golden glow of an Alicorn.

In return, Amie held nothing back—except for what she knew about the other changeling tribes. She told them about her brother, about Rick and Beth's transformation, and what she suspected about what caused it. She told them about her relationship with Tailslide, about the eggs deep underground.

Five scrolls of dense text later, and they finally had a finished version of an agreement. Princess Celestia signed it, as did her sister. Finally, Amie added her own mark beside theirs.

"The treaty will require ratification by Parliament," Celestia explained, offering her one copy in her magic, before taking the other. "But after the attack—the Warhawk faction will have to argue with innocent blood on their coats. Commander Path’s actions cost the lives of pony soldiers and innocents defending themselves from attack. With him rotting in prison, their voices will be disordered."

"Many will be horrified when they learn of this,” Luna continued. “Canterlot’s heart may be hardened, but not the rest of Equestria. Here were creatures who had every reason to fight, and fought for peace instead. Foals starved.”

“We will ask no forgiveness,” said her sister. “This nightmare is beyond such things. In your place, I do not know if I could grant it. But with this treaty, we can at least work to undo some of the harm we’ve done. The murderous architect of this scheme will be imprisoned, and your tribe will have an opportunity to integrate peacefully into this nation.”

Amie nodded. The treaty wasn’t perfectly satisfying, of course. Others than Path were responsible for their suffering. But that was the mark of a successful compromise--both sides unhappy. If it meant her campers got to live, maybe that was enough.

“Equestria will not change overnight," Luna added. "Listen to a mare who understands better than most. Ponies are slow to change, and slower to forgive. It will be a long time before any of your kind are welcome in Canterlot. But this scheme—it may succeed. You will have a chance."

Amie accepted the scroll. She was crying again—but this time, she did her best to fight it back. "A chance is all we need."

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