Chapter 23
Amie ascended a set of rickety wooden steps, wrapping strangely through the frame of the building. It felt more like they’d been added long after the initial construction, making her duck between the walls of rooms in a way no rational engineer would design. The boss might want his own space, but he wasn’t claiming somewhere that the Rent-a-Friend facility could use in some other way.
There were no lights, only the occasional window to light her way. It would be more than enough if she still looked like herself—wearing a pony’s skin, she still had to squint and stumble as she walked. When she finally reached the end, she found an open doorway leading to a large space. Smoke wafted out and down the steps, but not the almost-familiar tobacco that filled the lobby downstairs.
It reminded her far less of a sleazy bar on the far end of town and more of a hippie’s crystal shop, or maybe a canvas tent at a renaissance fair. “Excuse me? I’m here to apply.” She stopped just outside, rapping one hoof against the doorframe. Probably wouldn’t make a good impression by just letting herself in.
“I felt your vibrations,” said a voice. Male, older, with a different accent than many of the miners she’d met so far. “Come inside. Let me see you.”
Amie put on her brightest, most cheerful expression, then walked straight into the office. Its strangeness only grew—there was a fountain off to one side, with shelves covered in strange books and even stranger incense-burners. Every inch of wall space was covered in another painting, portrait, or scroll, depicting the same group of several ponies over and over.
Behind the desk of distressed wood sat an older pony, with a smattering of wrinkles showing from around his eyes. His coat came in salt and pepper gray, with a mane and tail gone almost white. Whether that was a product of age or just his natural color, Amie couldn’t guess. He wore no clothing, but that wasn’t strange. Just another aspect of local life she would have to adjust to if she ever hoped to fit in around here.
“My name is Amie,” she said, extending one hoof towards him across the desk. It was mostly empty anyway, aside from various knickknacks. A little growing tree, a bowl full of colored sand, and more sticks of burning incense. How could he even breathe in all this stuff? “The sign said you were hiring great friends? I’m here to apply!”
The pony remained utterly motionless for so long that she wondered if something had snapped in his brain. Then he sat up, scratching at his chin. The unicorn actually had a slight goatee, one of the few ponies she’d met so far with facial hair. “Amie. Has a nice sound to it, very exotic. My name is Bud Bonzer. The proprietor, director, chief entertainer, councilor, energy healer, and much more. Everypony in Equestria has friends, but few would serve the needs of my customers. Do you have any idea what ‘Rent-a-Friend’ is about?”
She bit her lip, resisting the urge to repeat the name back to him. From the way he spoke, Bud wasn’t expecting another 9-5 employee to punch a clock. He wanted passion, so she would have to give it to him. “Being a friend to ponies who can’t get one?” she suggested. “Or maybe therapy for social anxiety? Honestly, I’m not sure. I just know that I’ve worked as a counselor for years now. Mostly for younger… ponies, but I’ve got plenty of experience with those with social trouble. It’s just part of the job for me.”
“A counselor for years…” he repeated, leaning to one side. “With a medical cutie mark? To be frank, I’m a little surprised you would bother applying here. There are hospitals and clinics all across the valley with a desperate need for ponies. Maybe you should put your talents to use there, instead of here.”
She settled herself down in front of his desk, sitting on her haunches. There were no chairs here—so either he didn’t expect visitors to stay long, or wanted them to be a little uncomfortable. “Sometimes passion and talent don’t overlap, Mr. Bonzer.” And maybe I spent a whole day trying but they wouldn’t take me. “I’m interested in being a friend. Will you take me?”
He frowned, levitating something off the nearby shelf. It was one of at least a dozen identical books, each one with the same leather-looking cover. He set it down in front of himself, then cracked it open, filling the air with that crisp smell of new paper and whatever was written inside. This wasn’t a book that Bud read often, then.
“When customers visit us, we never know which Element of Harmony they’ll need most. Can you tell me about a time you’ve exemplified each one?” He set the book down, then rose to his hooves, backing away from the desk. A heavy board sat tucked up against the wall. It was divided in sixths, with headshots of various creatures in each one.
Below each were names, with little notes scribbled beneath them too small to read from across the room. “Most clients need something in particular from the friends they hire. They’re traveling workers, mostly, who leave their connections behind in whatever towns they came from. Their vibrations are out of alignment. Our friends supply them.”
She walked around the desk, moving a little closer to the board. Close enough to see the headings at least. “Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Honesty, and… Magic?” Some sections of the board had far more names than others, particularly Kindness and Laughter. Those who visited the rental had simple needs. But how could she give a visitor magic? Apparently that was what some wanted, judging by the handful of names scattered there.
She thought the Meyers-Briggs was complicated.
“If you joined our team, which Element of Harmony could you demonstrate?” he continued. “I want to know how you learned about it, what you think about the lessons taught in the Friendship Dialogs.”
“I can…” she trailed off, eyes darting across the diagram. “Why should someone be limited to just one? These aren’t mutually exclusive. Sometimes I guess they interfere—it can be hard to be kind and honest about some things. I’m not even sure what generosity would mean towards a client. They’re paying you for my time, right?”
He clicked his tongue, thoughtful. “You have a strange vibration, Amie. Every virtue at once, you say? Why don’t you start by telling me which of the Elements inspired you most? To make it a little harder, don’t pick Twilight Sparkle. The princess is too easy, and many unicorns who apply mistakenly assume they can demonstrate it all alone. They don’t realize that friendship is Magic.”
Was she talking to a cult leader? Amie tilted her head to the side. She could try to BS an answer, maybe reading off one of the other names from the board. But lying would only make it worse. She needed to be honest about her abilities, even if that meant starting lower. Better not to get a job than to be quickly fired because she didn’t know what she was doing.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she admitted. “Elements of Harmony? Are those not these… virtues up here, on the board? I don’t see one called Twilight.”
His mouth hung open. Bud walked slowly past her, back to the desk. She followed, returning to the other side. He flipped through the book’s pages in glowing magic, looking frustrated. “You don’t even know the Elements of Harmony? Amie—you seem like a lovely young mare. Maybe with enough training, you could add your positive energy to our workplace. But being just good enough isn’t good enough for Rent-a-Friend. That’s why ponies always come back to us—every pony here has something unique. They need that spark, something to remind them of their real friends back in whatever town they came from.”
He snapped the cover closed, settling back in his seat. “I’m not feeling that spark from you, Amie. I don’t think you’d fit in here.”
Another failure. She’d be going back to that warehouse, back to their dwindling food supplies, back to a brother who shouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place. She’d kept him alive, but for how long? They wouldn’t last until Pachu'a returned with his expedition of friendly changelings. Without their help, Stella Lacus was probably doomed too.
I can’t let that happen.
Amie stood, taking one dramatic step back from the desk. “I’ll admit, Mr. Bonzer—I’m not well trained. I’m new to Equestria, I don’t know your culture yet, your traditions. I could study it—but you’re right, that wouldn’t be something unique. But I think you might be overlooking something. You want a spark? Maybe I have one, something no one working at Rent-a-Friend can do.”
He folded his hooves across the desk, watching her seriously. “What’s that, miss? If there’s anything I missed, please. I wouldn’t want to pass judgment without feeling every angle of the energy you bring here. If there’s some other resonance you have, please show me. What makes you different?”
This is a very bad idea. Amie closed her eyes, inhaled sharply—then changed. In a flash of green magic, Healing Touch was replaced by a totally different pony, the Pegasus she’d come up with while copying Tailslide. She spread her wings dramatically, walking right up to the desk.
Bud sat utterly frozen in place. His emotional mask finally broke, and now she sensed something real from him. Shock mostly, with ample fear twinged inside. Something else too, one she couldn’t place. Amie was committed to the act now. “You have staff for each of those virtues, staff who are better at being one kind of friend than another. But I know there are clients who need specific care.”
She concentrated again—this time, the change came quicker. She wasn’t inventing something new, just copying a young pony she’d seen as part of a school group this morning. She was too young to be one of Amie’s own students, not at an adventure camp. Her powers didn’t seem to care. “Do parents bring their kids for a friend? I bet they would get along better with someone their own age. But you couldn’t have a real kid working here, could you?”
She took a breath, then changed again. She was already feeling winded, burning through magic faster than she’d ever done since discovering she had it. Wes had left her with a significant reserve of power, but it wouldn’t last forever. Not if she transformed every few seconds like this.
This time, she picked an earth pony, one of the prospecting types she’d seen making their way across town with heavy bags of tools and worn-looking faces. “Maybe a miner doesn’t trust ponies with wings and horns to know what it’s like to do hard labor? Lucky you, you have someone who can look exactly the way they expect.”
Her mind raced with another option, but she stopped short, settling onto her haunches. The exhaustion of so many changes was too much to sustain, she had to catch her breath. “M-maybe not so fast. It would… probably be better if they didn’t know I could do it. Some secrets are best left behind the curtain. Since I’m a—“
“Changeling,” Bud whispered, breathless. “You’re a changeling.” He vanished from his seat in a flash of light, reappearing beside her. “I thought you were all… insane with hunger. You could barely hold a conversation with a pony without trying to feed on their love.” He stopped, tilting his head to the side. “You know we don’t sell love here, right? Not in Agate, but there’s a place just south where ponies sometimes go for that kind of thing. Not here. Can’t do it with a Royal Guard base.”
Amie shuddered all over. “I’m not working at a brothel, and I’m not mad with hunger.” She turned, meeting his eyes. “You won’t believe me, but… I’m not the same tribe of changelings as the one who invaded. I’m from far away—from another civilization like Equestria. I don’t want to harvest love, but I do want a paycheck.”
He was silent for a long time, his emotions such a confused mess that Amie couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Finally she felt a hoof on her shoulder, pulling her in close. “Now that is exactly what I meant by a spark, Amie. Let’s see if we can bring your vibrations into alignment.”
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Finally, someone who is willing to accept her. Chances are he'd probably be able to explain more about the changelings than the one that left was able to, as well. Things are looking up
It's nice to see somepony being willing to accept a changeling and that Amie has a job. I hope WEs will learn to transform soon.
Huzzah it payed off!
As much as I hope that Bud's being sincere, I also hope that Amie doesn't let her guard down.
He doesn't know about Wes, so he might try to exploit her by using her hunger as a leash or threatening to inform the guards if she doesn't comply.
”That’s called hearing, sir.”
Oh goodness, he’s an in-universe brony. I really have to wonder when this is if the Bearers are this well known. Could some catastrophe have befallen Hive Thorax, did the reformation never happen, or did Amie just happen upon Equestria with almost-lucky timing? That AU tag presents a wide variety of possibilities.
And that one isn’t supported by metaphysics!
Well, that went better than expected. Let’s see how sustainable this will be in the longer term.
its a bit funny it took that weardo to accept a changeling like amy xD
I really don't get what this group is
That was one hell of a risk. Pachuca is not gonna like this one bit.
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I'm personally hoping for an universe where reformlings are a different species. That's pretty much never done, and would make hunger an actual ongoing problem, instead of the camp being practically post-scarcity mid story.
Also nice, 2 updates a week.
Well, this gives us an idea about the timing of things... I can't remember if they already met Thorax before Twilight published her book, but this is clearly some time after that, and her ascension. Even if Thorax was known, we have to keep in mind that he was very much considered to be an exception, and that it takes a while for him to metamorphose into the form he's best known for today (aka a form that doesn't really make sense and is honestly kind of ugly, even if the ideas behind it were neat, but I digress). He might not even exist outside of the Empire as anything more than a rumor, to the minds of Equestria at large, assuming they've heard of him at all. So the idea of a friendly changeling is still very much foreign to them at this time.
Hell, the AU aspect could be that he hasn't been discovered near the Empire just yet. (Or the more obvious "changelings are humans in this universe" aspect, but eh.) As I said, I don't actually remember the timeline for all of that very well.
This sounds like a branch of Flim&Flam's friendship academy.
This guy is cl3ver
Interesting!
"what you think about the lessons taught in the Friendship Dialogs.”
Friendship Dialogs? This sounds related to Fame and Misfortune, but that came after Thorax was reformed... Some form of AU is very, VERY plausible...
Wait. If this implies that for some reason Thorax wasn't reformed... Oh god is this a universe where the M6 and princesses are replaced? Hopefully not. That's a stretch... Maybe >.>
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It is a weird business for sure, but it absolutely sounds like the kind of thing ponies would do.
sure sounds to me like Amie has made a friend.
I find this line in particular very amusing. And, I mean, who doesn't want a paycheck? Just gimme money, man.
Very risky pulling the mask off but it paid off. Amie got her hoof in the door and it seems like Bud's willing to give her a try. Let's see how this relationship grows.
No doubt the people trapped here need a bit of that.
Certainly speaks much of Chrysalis's ability as a leader if her hive looked like that during the invasion. I wouldn't be surprised if the other hives declare their own wars against this one. Incompetence turned men into desperate animals. And this one group is risking the rest of humanity on Equus.
It's interesting to see the irony when a nation built on the tenets of friendship cannot satisfy the needs of some of its people unknowingly relies on its greatest enemy to fill in part of that gap.
bonzi buddy..
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B- BONZI BUDDY..........
I wonder if Amie will figure out how to shape-shift to have strong eyes as a pony, or if she has to see (or scan?) an organ in order to imitate it.
Sometimes the solution is finding the right hippie to talk to.
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Hah!
Wow what a dramatic turn.
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God, that would be wonderful. I don't dislike the colorful bugs, per say, but their introduction in the show spit in the face of why changelings are so engaging for me. Changeling are dealt a terrible hand, and their nature pushes then to do evil, but when they do good despite that, even thrive without doing harm, man, is that some quality stuff! The new changelings don't have that uniqueness to them. They have all the pros of being a changeling without the cons, and it's simply not that interesting imo.
Alas, I've accepted that most fics will use the new changelings in a substantial way, usually as a goal for changeling to strive for, so I'm mostly gotten over my initial misgivings. I still like the original changeling over the new ones, but it's been so long since their introduction that I've just accepted them as a thing I have to get used to.
That was a COLOSSAL and stupid risk... here's hoping the guy doesn't turn her in for money or something. It's funny, all the talk about how important friendship is and all they have met with is blind hatred the likes of which the KKK would likely give a standing ovation to.
We expected an act of desperation, but heck, this could have gone so horribly.
Well at least there's now two in camp changeling!
Our ancient Americans will not approve...
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The KKK is an excessive comparison. We have yet to see a single act of racism or blind hatred, let alone KKK levels of it. So far there have been only three direct interactions between a pony and a known changeling. The initial meeting of BonBon, the fight with Tailslide and the meeting with Bud. In 2/3 cases there was a conversation that led to "Oh, you aren't actually out to hurt me. We can be civil beings." Every interaction so far tells me that they are incredibly fearful after having just been attacked by a previously unknown hostile nation rather than just being racists. How quickly and easily they push their preconceptions aside with a simple conversation is proof of the opposite. They are very accepting; they just have a very good reason to be initially afraid.
If Earth's first alien contact was an unjustified INVASION by aliens who kidnapped your loved ones, considered you a source of food, and never once tried to negotiate, I doubt you would find many humans who were willing to just walk up and be friends. No chance whatsoever that we would not be shelling every community of them we found on Earth until they gave us a reason not to.
Bro really said:
"You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention."
Lovely chapter as always.