- Member Since 21st Dec, 2019
- offline last seen 8 hours ago
underrated Drake
Just a regular guy who has very little knowledge on MLP but a lot of creativity.
underrated Drake
Joined 21st Dec, 2019 ·
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underrated Drake · 2.8k words · 156 33 · 8.5k views
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top vote it's twilight
Love these stories, i vote Twilight.
awesome story mate keep it up cant wait for the next story twilight next
I think the surprise is that Sunset Shimmer, not Twilight, is the mare that has some antagonistic feelings against Flutters and Rares...it works well that Twilight probably is whats next, but I feel Twilight is too obvious and are looking for a bit of a twist...
Really surprised with how you have Fancypants and Fleur-de-Lis as the bad guys; I've seen them as good friends of Spike and plus, it showed Rarity point-blank how damaging she had been to Spike for years. Nice to see she is genuinely trying to atone and know that there is still respect for Flutters coming to terms that even though Spike does has feelings for Rarity, Spike's main girlfriend is Fluttershy and Fluttershy has the guts to lay it all out, while Rarity had to take losing him for her to realize it...
I'm not sure why you made Fancy Pants and Fleur as such rude people. In the series they are actually are very friendly people despite their rich upbringing. It just seems you should have made different characters play those 'Rude rich people roles' like Jet Set and Upper Crust.
Good job. Merry Christmas. And I vote Twilight
11095898
I know, bit it got me thinking, what if all their money and fame went to their heads?
I vote Maybe Rainbow Dash is next
Can't wait for the sequel, I hope it's Applejack
Sorry to nit pick. I like this so far but do you think you can edit this so Fancy Pants and Fleur de lis aren't the antagonists? Its just out of character for them and it doesn't sit right. Actually they sound more like Jet Set and Uppercrust. Or Blueblood and Suri Polomare.
BTW the image of Sassy and Fleur?
Maybe you should save that for another fic ♡
11106204
Don't know but the image of Sassy and Fleur?
Someone might need to take notes.
11129531
Planning on doing that soon, it was kind of weird to write this fic with those 2 as antagonists but my mind went blank and it was the only 2 that came to it
11130431
Well look up Jet Set and Uppercrust.
They were in Sweet and Elite in season 2
Kinda gave the Fandom a good stuck up snob kind of vibe.
Or you can have Suri Polomare and Blueblood as a couple. I wouldn't doubt those two would act that way. Suri is a fashionista but a lying cheat and blue blood just gives his family name a bad rep despite his so-called claim as Celestia'so nephew
Just some ideas
What about a bonus chapter ft. Spike and Coco Pommel?
11106204
He didn't, u realized I didn't say "social media account"
1) This chapter says Rarity never tried to get with Fancy but in Fluttershy's chapter, she gets called out for doing exactly that while having Spike babysit. So either that was a lie and you left it in or you just retconned your own story to suit a narrative .
2) The entire confrontation was an egregious character swap of who Fancy and Fluer really are as characters, and Spike randomly having pictures that puts dirt on them only highlights that fact even more so.
3) Rarity has done nothing to prove she actually loves Spike or that she's truly remorseful for her past actions towards him. Instead, she manipulated him through sexual contact the entire time , having Spike wrapped around her finger by the end of night. This flies is the face of Spike's "I'm only going as friends" line since he literally just gives in anyway. Atleast with Fluttershy, you can say they did it partially cuz of mutual feelings AND attraction. But here? Not even close to the same feeling.
*Sigh* I know this is a fic and you can make characters however you want, it's just from a writers standpoint, I've noticed a lot of plot holes, and character inconsistencies. I'm only speaking because compared to this chapter's prequel, this is a massive nosedive in quality, which makes me sad since you started off pretty decently with Fluttershy's chapter. I mean no hate, I'm just speaking my mind and I wish you the best
"I'm attempting to milk an ostrich."
ICR Who under roughly the same circumstances.
"They ain't worth a nickel? Here's a dime, buy me 2 & keep the change."
ICR Who