Ramirez, beat friendship!

by aegishailstorm

You Dunn Goofed Up

The swarm guarding the large one was torn to shreds, Ramirez laid his eyes on the large one and charged her. He jumped over what was left of her royal guard, and tackled her.

"Ah, Who- what are you!?" Chrysalis' gaze shifted to the far side of the room, there, though the smoke she could see a glowing purple orb. One she recognized all to much.

"Princess!" She sneered. The shield faded, revealing Twilight and her friends, now staring in shock at the carnage which Ramirez had inflicted on the chamber.

Without a second thought, Ramirez raised his boot, and brought it down one Chrysalis' skull. Knocking her unconscious. Dropping her on the floor, he looked back at the six, and gave them a thumbs up. The scene around them changed to nice, quiet field just outside of Ponyville.

Meanwhile back on Earth...

Cpl. Dunn left Langley and headed down the highway towards Burger Town he turned of the highway and pulled into the parking lot. When he laid eyes on it, he shivered. He remembered all to well what had happened here during the 3rd world war, albeit, it was fully repaired now. He stepped out of his truck, and headed inside, taking a place in line. When he caught eye of the cashier, his enthusiasm faded. It was a Russian paratrooper, more specifically, one of the one's he had fought against in DC. He barged to the front of the line.

"You, what the hell are you doing here!" He demanded.

"Oh, calm down comrade. I get job in states, no hard feelings, eh?" Dunn groaned, and gave him his order. Which to his surprise, was fulfilled quite fast. He snatched it up, and headed back to Langley.

"Gosh, I bet Ramirez is having the time of his life right now."

Discord reappeared in front of them.
"Alright, I see you handled Chrysalis... Well...Now. Final challenge, bake a cake!"

"You're kidding right?" Foley asked over the radio.

"No, I am not sergeant."

"Well, alright then...Ramirez, bake a cake!"

"Oh, I'm great at this!" Pinkie stepped forward.

"#### Ramirez, get going!" He headed off towards the Ponyville.

"When he arrived, he found that she was already in the process of doing so."

"Ramirez, fight nonsense with nonsense!"

"Alright, I'm done-" Just as Pinkie brought hers out of the oven, Ramirez dropped a freshly baked cake on the table in front of her.

"Huh?" She looked at him, confused, there wasn't a pony in Equestrian that could bake faster than her, yet somehow, this Ramirez beat her.

"Good work!" She complemented, Ramirez grunted in response. He walked back outside.

"Well, I was wrong, maybe the is such a thing as the magic of common sen-" She was interrupted when a bright flash of light filled the entire street. When it cleared, floating just off the ground was the spirit of harmony itself, it had taken the form of Twilight.

"Element's , what are you doing!?" It called out.

"You can't just let this human win!"

"But he did, fair and square!" Twilight shouted back.

"No, he didn't, quick, use the elements on him!"

"Why should we-" Rainbow as cut off when the spirit of harmony remotely activated the elements, causing the six to involuntarily rise into the air.

"Ramirez, stop that glowing thing!" He drew his knife, and charged the spirt of harmony. Just before his knife made contact, it disappeared, leaving Ramirez alone in the street with the six. Who were beginning to glow.

"Ramirez, brace yourself!" He raised his arm to shield himself from the multicolored light just as it came down on him. When it faded. Ramirez, was gone, in his place lay a brown earth pony, clad in Ranger fatigues.

"Ramirez, unponify yo sorry ass right this instant!" He looked off into the distance, towards the Everfree forest, ad took off towards it.

"Uh, what's Ramirez doing" Asked Rainbow.

"I don't know." Replied Twilight." Perhaps the elements messed with his head?"

"We should stop him."

"Agreed."

Meanwhile Ramirez galloped though the Everfree frost, ignoring the six's cries for him to stop. He eventually did, at the entrance to a cave. He peered inside, there, inside was a tree made of crystals. He approached it. Drawing a pair of fragmentation grenades from his belt, which was significantly harder with hooves, the Spirit of Harmony appeared in front of him.

"Let's talk about this, think about what you're doing for a second." He pushed it's ethereal form aside, and planted the grenade's at the base of the tree. The spirits mood changed to one of pure desperation.

"Please, don't do this!"

"Tell you what, you unponify Ramirez, here, and I won't give him the order to blow you sky high!"

"Deal! Deal!" It disappeared, and Ramirez, flash of light engulfed Ramirez, changing him back into a human.

"Ramirez, flip that tree the bird!" He walked away from it, slowly raising his middle finger behind his back. As he exited the cave, he was approached by the six.

"What happened!?" They asked him. He didn't respond. Walking back to Ponyville.

"Hey, open up!" Sgt. Foley and the other Ranger's heard banging on the barracks door, and the voice of the base's commander, 2 star Air Force general Bellman. They let quickly him in, flanked by a pair of guards.

"What's going on inn here?" He asked Foley.

"Well sir, I asked Pvt. Ramirez to... er... go to the My Little Pony universe."

"You what!? You cannot be serious."

"Yep, he's on the radio right now. Ramirez, say hello!" A grunt came though the radio.

"I'm not convinced."

"Ramirez, convince Gen. Bellman!"

"Hello, this Twilight Sparkle, who's there?"

"Well, I'll be damned!" The General exclaimed, gritting his teeth.

Ramirez, looked back at the six, gave them a double thumbs up, and disappeared in a flash of light.

"Where did he go?" Asked Rainbow.

"I haven't the slightest, what were we supposed to be doing today again?"

Ramirez appeared back in their quarters. Causing everyone around him to jump.

"Oh, you're back." The platoon looked at the smoking form of Pvt. Ramirez.

"What happened out there Private?" The General inquired. Ramirez didn't respond. He walked right past the Air Force officers, stopping at Foley.

"Foley, I want a promotion." Ramirez said to him, standing so still it seemed to the others that he was dead.

"Hmm... Dunn!"

"Yes Sergeant?"

Ramirez is herby promoted to the rank of corporal, get us some victory ice cream!"

"No need." Ramirez reached into his field pack and puled out the cake he had made earlier, unbroken and whole.

"But, hu-" General Bellman put his hand on his head, and fainted right there.

"Ramirez, the cake will have to wait. Get the General to the gawddaum infirmary!" He sighed, and slung the general over his shoulder.

Comments

[NotreallyaBrony]

Now in the Sequel Ramirez will Prevent The Storm King Invasion by setting proper defenses and plan a attack course.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

"Foley, I want promotion." Ramirez said to him.

"Hmm... Dunn!"

"Yes sargent?"

Ramirez is herby promoted to the rank of corpral, get us some victory ice cream!"

Welp, at least it's something, thanks.

[Darth_krayt]

Sergeant Foley RAMIREZ go back to My Little Pony stop the storm King's invasion and fix Tempest Shadows horn go... nice work RAMIREZ