(1) Semi-Charmed Life
Mark sighed and cringed at himself as he looked in the mirror. He had no idea what was wrong with him.
Not that there was anything wrong with his face or body. It looked normal and seemed fine enough. Some might even say handsome. Long, blonde hair, a clean-shaven face, not a scar or pimple in sight. There were many people who would have been envious of him. And yet, looking at himself made him uncomfortable. Repulsed even. There was something wrong with what he saw, and he didn’t know what it was.
Well, that wasn’t true. He actually did know. He knew he was… a certain way. It didn’t matter though. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything about it. What was there to do anyway? Nothing, other than managing his extreme repulsion to himself. He would just go on the way he always did, not acknowledging the problem and pretending he didn’t know what it was. It worked for twenty-six years so far; it would keep working now.
With that, he took one last look at himself and shivered before hopping in the shower and washing his body as fast as he could. It was the way he did things in life. Take a ninety second shower, try not to cut his face while shaving, and quickly comb through his hair, all while doing his best to not look in the mirror. It was how he started his day every day, and it worked for him, he supposed. Worked as well as anything really.
With that out of the way, he put on a shirt and hopped back into bed, opening his laptop to see what there was to do that day. Not that he didn’t know. It was the same as always. Write, watch YouTube and browse memes, wait for calls to come in at his job, and chat around on social media. Social media especially was one of his main pastimes. It was one of the first things he pulled up when he woke up to start his day, and today was no exception.
“Hey guys,” he typed, giving the same greeting he always did every afternoon when he woke up. “It’s me, your girl, Katrina again. How are you all doing this lovely day?”
“I’m good,” someone immediately replied. “I love how you always greet us with that. It’s very sweet of you. And how are you today, ma’am?”
“Absolutely wonderful,” he wrote back, blushing a bit at the nice words. “And I try. It helps that you’re all wonderful people.”
“You’re the one who made the server,” they answered back. “We wouldn’t be here without you. If we’re all wonderful people, then it goes to show how nice of a lady you are, Katrina.”
He smiled to himself at the message as others started replying to him, getting the same sense of happiness he always got when he was called Katrina. “Not that it means anything,” he thought, a lie he always told himself. “It’s just a name. A persona. It’s not like it’s real life…”
That was another lie he told himself. It was as much real life to him as it was anything else. All of his friends knew him as that, not knowing the person behind the name in the slightest. As far as they knew, Mark didn’t exist. It was so much a part of his life that he was certain he’d turn to look if someone called him Katrina in real life. In fact, he remembered more than a few times when he almost answered with it as his name when he was filling out forms or speaking on the phone. It was practically ingrained in him at this point, a part of his being.
That thought made him look down at himself briefly and sigh quietly before looking back at the computer screen to engage with what were his friends. He didn’t know what any of them looked like or knew who they were in real life, nor they him, but he considered them friends all the same. It was more than he had in real life. He didn’t like going out in places where people could see him or hear his voice. It just hurt too much to do. It made it easier now that there was hardly a reason to go out. He was working from home, getting his groceries delivered to him, and even bought exercise equipment so he could stay in shape while limiting his exposure to whatever world lay outside his house. He was content with staying indoors, preferring not to leave for any reason if he could help it, normally only if it were absolutely necessary.
That was his life for many days and weeks, and today he expected things to go no differently. However, he also didn’t expect to receive a sudden private message from someone he didn’t know.
To whom it may concern,
It is by the Crown of Princess Celestia Daybringer and Princess Luna Nightguard that we must inform you of Equestria’s policy of eminent domain and its effects on your residence. By statute 1003.42.08f, the Crown maintains the legal right to possess your residence for purposes deemed beneficial to the Kingdom and considered just under Article XVII of the Equestrian Constitution.
Please know that regarding the purposes for which the Crown wishes to use your property, full possession is not necessary. However, compensation will still be provided to you, in the effect of no less than eight thousand bits and/or relocation to another part of Equestria. Refusal of compensation shall not infringe the right of the Crown to possess your property, however, if compensation is refused, it may be claimed up to fifteen years after the date of this letter at the price of which would have been paid out in the year it was possessed, according to inflation as calculated by the Equestrian Bureau of Labor.
For more information or questions regarding the status of your residence, please contact Miss Raven Inkwell by either letter or in pony. You can schedule a meeting with her Highness Princess Celestia by mail if you prefer or enter the open Night Court of her Highness Princess Luna as well at any time.
-The Royal Authority of Equestria
Dated this day, June 1st, 1006 PCE
“...what?” Mark thought to himself, reading through the message for a second time, and then a third and fourth. “Who the heck is this?” Clearly, someone was trying to pull a prank on him, but what in the world could this kind of prank possibly be? It made absolutely no sense at all, and even reading through it so many times, he couldn’t tell what was being said.
“What the heck is Equestria? And what does “in pony” mean? Who is this?” There weren’t any answers given to him. All the profile name said was “The Royal Authority of Equestria”. No profile picture or bio, no mutual friends or shared servers, nothing. It was very strange, almost as if someone were trying to scam him, except they forgot the actual “scam” part.
He was a second away from just clicking the block button and closing the PM when he suddenly felt his house start shaking, something that stunned him into motionlessness. He heard loud, thunderous sounds, almost as if his house were being torn in two, and had to cover his ears because of the noise. Living in Kansas, he’d never been in an earthquake, and looked around to see if anything would fall or topple over. However, before things could, it ended just as quickly as it began, the shaking stopping and the noise dying down. The experience lasted all of ten seconds, but he could say it certainly left him stunned and afraid. It caught him so off guard, he hadn’t had time to consider the implication of this happening directly after receiving the message from the person who claimed to be the “Royal Authority of Equestria”.
He sat on his bed for a while, looking at the walls around him, waiting for something to happen again. After a while of sitting and nothing happening though, he decided he needed to do something, that something, he decided, being going from room to room to make sure everything was in order. He started at the front of the house, opposite of where his room was, and worked his way to the back, taking a few seconds to scan each room and make sure that everything was where it should be. It wasn’t until he got to a closet tucked away in the interior of his home that he found something.
At first glance, everything was as it should be. Dusty board games he never played still in place and hoodies he always felt the need to wear even when it was scorching outside in a pile on the floor like they always were. However, just as he was going to close the door again and move on, he noticed something shiny glinting into his eye from the ground. He couldn’t say what it was, and moved the clothes pile to find what looked like a ring on the floor. No, more like it was attached to the floor, like a trapdoor.
Moving the pile of clothes completely out of the closet revealed that that was indeed what it was. A square piece of hardwood floor looked to be cut out and placed back into the ground, with enough of a gap between the floor and the doorframe that little cracks of light from somewhere could shine through. It wasn’t something that was there before, as he knew that if it was, he would’ve remembered it. It was a strange sight to see, so strange that he somehow wasn’t able to put together the connection between the PM, the earthquake, and this new feature now built into his home.
He wasted no time in pulling the ring up to open it, revealing a tunnel with a ladder on the side that led to the bottom. From the top, he could see another door at the bottom leading on to somewhere else, probably about twenty-five feet down. It was well lit, with bright glowing somethings on the walls, giving off a warm yellow glow and illuminating his descent. It was also warmer than he expected, the air being a bit above that of his home, and very dry for a cellar. He didn’t pay much mind to it though, quickly getting to the bottom and facing the door that he saw.
The main thing that caught his attention was the gold-plated message engraved into it. “Not available for public use at this time,” he read, noticing a little note attached to the bottom of it, adding with it, “except for the current landowner, one Miss Mark ‘Katrina’ Wiley.”
That made him blush, his cheeks going red and his heart fluttering as he read it. “I’m not a miss…” he thought to himself, looking around and seeing if anyone was nearby, feeling slightly embarrassed. Whoever wrote this was probably just confused about his online persona, since his name was Katrina there. He wasn’t a girl, even if he was… a certain way. Even more so, it made him anxious that someone associated his online persona with real life. Sure, he hardly ever went outside, but he still went out sometimes, and he would rather not have his online life leak into his real life, however unused and underdeveloped the latter was.
“Huh,” he said aloud. “I’m more concerned about my personal life than the fact that an entire cellar was built into my house during a ten second earthquake, one that’s clearly intended to be private except for me.” He couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was about all of this, but decided he would just go with it. Maybe there was something in the air that was messing with his head. Besides, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do, other than stay home all day and hate the person that he was.
With that thought in mind, he casually opened the door in front of him and stepped into another world.
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Great ch so far thank u
Keep up the good work 😃
Cool start, can’t wait for more!
Ooh this story is something I’m excited for! Can’t wait for more!
Another adventure to observe. Nice!
Time for popcorn~!
Wait, what?
Great premise and a strong start. This has got to be the coolest use of eminent domain ever!
11071964
DAMN IT TAKEI!
Need moooore
If Mark/Katrina is unhappy about what they see in the mirror today, will they be happy when they look in the mirror and see a pony?
oh hey! I drew dat. I had no idea who you were on fimfiction lmao. I love a ton of your stories :D
11072060
Awwww you're so nice to me! Also, thank you for the art again!
11072063
Happy to do it :)
I really loved I am Not Sombra. Haven't started the sequel yet, but I figured once it was done I'd just binge it all in a week or 2 lol
11071964
As someone that hasn't read the story, this quote has... interesting implications for what "well, you know" means in the description. And that implication alone is enough to make it worth a read, I think.
This is what I thought when I read the title.
seems like a good story love to see how it turns out
11072431
You didn't think of this song?
Huh. Well this is certainly something. Got a nice start, I'll keep my eye on this one.
Well that's different.
11071968
My response to that letter would be along the lines of 'Foxtrot Oscar'.
So, when is Mark going to admit it?
Really nice opening premise, and overall a cool idea. I like the possibilities, here.
I think that Katrina's reaction was insufficient, though. This is a literal impossibility suddenly being imposed on a semi-ordinary person (other than trans issues, we have no reason to think the protagonist should be comfortable with reality itself being turned upside down!) and I would have expected them to be far more shocked and astonished. This is where it can help to daydream the experience as if you, yourself, were living it. If such a thing happened to me, I would be terrified and astonished. I would likely run out of the house, check the outside, run back in again, try to calm down. Finding the trap door would not be a mild thing where I considered the fact it was new. I would be down on the floor, studying it. Does it look brand new, or... does it look old, like it had always been there (creeepy!).
That ladder down? That would take several tries to work up the courage to climb down. And that plaque, with the name? That would make me freak out - not because of the name as much as by the fact it was addressed to me, personally. This would be a full-on impossible event. This would be magic, this would be reality being destroyed. I would question my sanity in a panic, I would tap the walls of the underground, I would feel that plaque to make sure it was solid and real. I would grab something to take pictures of all of this, just to prove to myself it wasn't a dream. I would probably climb back up in terror, and sit, rocking, holding my knees until I calmed down.
What you wrote works. But, if you consider how a person would actually, naturally react to such an astonishing thing, it is possible to make the reader feel every bit of it, simply by writing that experience. To do that, you need to daydream how it would feel, smell, and be. You have to live it inside yourself, then write it as if it were real. You might - might - want to consider that in the future: with a little thought and feeling, you can turn what you wrote above into more than just having a protagonist character react passively to impossible, astonishing events.
You can actively make your readers experience an adventure of wonder and discovery, all from nothing more than looking at a trapdoor, climbing down a ladder, and touching a plaque. These are not normal things. These are at the level of meeting gods or finding out the world is a simulation, or discovering a crashed alien starship - this is a big deal, is what I am saying. People react to big deal events, and they react strongly. And a writer can run with that and make every moment count! Consider this, for any future stories.
11078828
Some people can clam up due to fear and just not show any emotion. It's typically rare to be honest, but it can happen.
The instantly walking in, yeah, I see your point. But the earthquake leading to the trapdoor? It would be rather bizarre and sudden that feasibly someone just wouldn't know how to react.
BTDT, one always wondered why Alice was so passive of all the oddities in Wonderland but bewilderment is a powerful force...
11072052
Hell naw. But honestly, I speak from experience when I say that: something thats weird, trips you up and goes under your skin is a whole lot easier to grapple with when you know its supposed to be that way, that its valid to feel that way and to adjust without shame or doubt.
I Imagine that would skip a lot of nasty stuff in this situation, along with the Friendship is Magic part of course!
11079976
Based
Sounds healthy to me