(Epilogue) This Is The Last Time
“Tracy! Quinn!” Katrina called as she tapped her foot. “Do you both have your shoes on yet? Don’t make me have to tell you again.”
“We do!” one of the boys, Tracy, called from the two’s room. “We’re waiting for you! You always take forever.”
“I have my shoes on!” the other one, Quinn, announced, now old enough to put them on himself. “I can’t wait to see Uncle Jase again!” he proclaimed as he ran out into the living room. “He’s my favorite! I wanna leave now!”
“Then you need to tell your older brother to get out here so we can go,” Katrina instructed. “I don’t want us to start running late.”
“You’re the one that always takes a million years, Mom,” Tracy said. “I was waiting on you.”
“You don’t even have your shoes on, honey,” she responded. “Go put them on now so we can leave. Oh, and grab my purse out of my room.”
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a big strong man like Uncle Trent and Uncle Jase are!” Quinn said. “I’m gonna be the strongest man alive!”
“What about you, Tracy?” she asked as her other son came back out. “Are you gonna be as strong as Uncle Jase and Uncle Trent?”
“No, I’m gonna be stronger than them,” he declared. “I’m gonna be a football player for the Chiefs so I can make a billion dollars and you can watch me every Sunday.”
“I’d watch you regardless of whatever team you were on… as long as it’s not the Broncos or Raiders,” she joked with a smile, using a hand to ruffle his hair. It made her happy to hear things like that from them, about how they would be strong men. If they could help it, she didn’t want them to be like her.
“Anyway, let's go now before we start running late,” she said as she grabbed her purse from her son, letting them get into the car and helping her smaller son buckle up. It wasn’t that far to her brother’s house, only an hour or so. As she drove, she couldn’t help but think about the fact that she lived in Kansas for her whole life, in the same city, too. She remembered a few times thinking about how being a small town girl was a stereotype, and yet it seemed that was exactly how it turned out for her.
Before long, she was pulling up, the lot already full of cars. Somehow it seemed like her older brother’s house had gotten bigger since last year when she was here. Then again, it had to be, what with how many kids he had.
It was the only time of year when the other five people she grew up with were all in the same place. Jase lived in Equestria, her parents refused to go to each other's houses, and her sister refused to come to her house. That left only Trent as the middleman for the gatherings they had and only this time of year for them to all see each other.
“Hi, Katrina!” Trent’s wife, Jessie, waved as Katrina and her sons got out. “You look amazing as ever,” she said as she got up to her, giving her a brief hug before looking her up and down. “I love your dress! It looks like it fits you perfectly and matches you well! You look just like your sister. Did you just get it?”
“Oh, this old thing?” she asked, smiling bashfully. “I’ve had this since forever. A friend sewed it for me a long time ago. How it hasn’t gotten worn and torn, I have no idea.”
“Well, it looks amazing on you,” Jessie complimented. “Make sure to tell your friend that she has a great eye for fashion.” With that, she turned to Katrina’s kids, saying, “And look at you both! You’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you! How old are you again, Tracy? Quinn?”
“I’m seven, and Quinn’s four,” Tracy answered. “The doctor said I grew two inches since last year.”
“Oh my, that’s quite a lot,” Jessie said. “At this rate, you’ll be taller than your Uncle Trent. I bet you’ll be able to be a basketball player with how much you’re gonna grow. Anyway, let me show you guys inside.”
The three went in to get settled in, the living room packed with people. There were over twenty people from what she could tell including her family, around half of them children. She wondered how many of these people were born in Equestria. At least six if she counted right: Jase’s wife, their three kids, and her two kids.
Although Twilight said it would be five years, she had it done much quicker than that, the first fully functioning public worldgate up and running in half the time. The first chance Jase got, he moved there, being at the top of the list of applicants since he knew the Princess of Equestria personally. Katrina stayed there while she was carrying both Tracy and Quinn. Not that she could go back while she was pregnant. She quickly learned that the worldgate wouldn’t let her pass through to Earth while she was, presumably because she couldn’t carry her children to term as a human. There were days when she wished she was able to, but it was still completely unbelievable that she could have kids, something she never thought would ever be possible.
“Aunt Samantha!” Quinn yelled loudly, catching sight of Katrina’s sister and running up to her. He wrapped her up in a hug as he said, “You’re the best aunt! You should let me live with you when you leave!”
Her sister was smiling, but glanced up at Katrina for a moment with a look that said she still didn’t like her because of what she’d done. She didn’t put the dislike she held into her words though, giving her son a wide grin and ruffling her hand through his hair.
“You’ll have to ask your parent that, kiddo,” she told him. “We’d love to have you and your brother for vacation one summer if we can. I’m sure it’d be plenty of fun.”
Katrina had to turn away so she could roll her eyes unseen. Despite her fondness for her children, Sam clearly didn’t like her. That much was obvious from the fact that she was only ever referred to as their parent. Even her father would acknowledge her as their mother, even if she could tell he despised doing so.
“Hey, Katrina,” someone suddenly said, causing her to turn around. She smiled at Trent and gave him a hug as he said, “I’m glad you made it.”
“I’m glad to be here, Trent,” she told him happily before letting go. “Happy birthday! How old are you again? How long has it been since we all got together?”
“It’s been a year,” he answered in the same flat, emotionless voice he always had. “It’s a year every single time everyone’s all here. And I’m turning forty today.”
“God, you’re so old,” she said jokingly. “It feels like yesterday we were celebrating your eighteenth birthday. I feel like you’ve changed so much since then.”
“I can agree with that,” he said, pausing for a moment before giving a tiny smile. “Although it’s safe to say that some of us have changed more than others."
Katrina laughed out loud at that comment. “I guess that’s true,” she replied. “Anyway, how have you been? Do you have any more kids to show me? Or have you finally decided enough is enough?”
“I wasn’t looking for three with her, but Jessie convinced me into it. I’m worried she’s going to want more though. I think you already know well enough how she can be.”
“I do. I can’t believe you have enough space to have all of us here all at once… well, I can, with how much you make, but still. It’s impressive here. I know I say that every time, but I can’t get it out of my head.”
“Aw, thanks, I appreciate it. Anyway, how have you been? How are Tracy and Quinn?”
With that, the conversation traveled on, Katrina and Trent taking seats in the living room to continue, joining in with all of the other adults.
It was a little awkward speaking around her sister and father, but it wasn’t anything new. Her father interacted with her much more than her sister, something she’d come to realize. She could tell he disliked her more than Sam did, but other than a few comments about it every now and then, she could kind of deal with him. With Sam, however, if felt like she said about ten words to her in the last ten years. Most of her communication came through making comments about her without directly speaking to her.
Her son was sitting in her sister’s lap as they talked, and eventually, she broke in with something to say, petting his hair as she did.
“I wonder what your parent would say to you asking if you and Tracy could spend a summer with us in Georgia,” Sam said, clearly being indirect in talking to her. “Maybe you should ask. I’m sure it’ll be a yes.” She had to frown and furrow her brow at that, looking her right in the eye as she spoke. She silently told her that she didn’t like what she was doing.
“Mom, can I?” Quinn asked, huge pleading eyes staring right at her. She waved a hand for him to come over, and when he did, planted a kiss on his forehead and pushed a strand of hair out of his face.
“We’ll talk about it, okay?” she said. “You go upstairs and play with your brother and your cousins now while the adults stay down here and talk, okay sweetie?” He nodded and quickly ran up, a lot of the parents following her lead and sending their own kids away, too. When all that was left were the adults, she sent a glare at her sister.
“Do not try to manipulate me like that,” she said angrily. “I do not want to be manipulated and made to look like a bad mother in front of my children.”
Sam looked around the room with an eyebrow raised, pretending to be confused. “What do they mean?” she asked, making Katrina shake her head in annoyance. It got her a few more frowns from a few other people.
“I’m saying don’t say things like, ‘I’m sure it’ll be a yes’ to make me look like a bad mother if I say no. Don’t pit me against my kids.”
“I can’t see how they think I’m pitting them against their kids,” Sam said, rolling her eyes. “I was only asking Quinn to ask them a question.”
“I know you’re just asking,” Katrina said harshly, doing her best to not yell. “I’m just asking you not to manipulate me into saying yes if you’re not even going to talk to me and call me their mother.”
“I can’t believe they think-”
“Oh my god, stop it!” Katrina put her hands on her head in frustration. “I don’t want to get into a thing on Trent’s birthday, but can you stop? Talk to me like a human being! Even Dad doesn’t act like this! It’s annoying as crap!”
“Don’t bring me into this,” their father commented, looking up from a magazine he was reading for a moment. “Leave me out of whatever argument you’re having.”
“It isn’t great to see you acting like that to Katrina,” their mother said. “You should be talking to your sister. I don’t like seeing you guys like this.”
“It is annoying,” someone else said, the rest of the adults looking at them as the room stayed quiet. “Stop dancing around it. Just talk to her if you want to talk to her.”
Sam shook her head and rolled her eyes, telling her, “I don’t know why you’re so upset. I was just saying to Quinn that he can ask you. It’s not a big deal like you think it is.”
“I know you were just saying. I’m just saying do not manipulate me like that, especially not in front of my kids. If you want to ask me if they can go, just ask. I’ll tell you yes right now if you just ask me instead of doing this freaking backhanded bullshit. And don’t say ‘I’m sure she’ll say yes’ when you don’t give me an ounce of respect.”
“Ugh, I don’t know where you went so wrong, especially since we used to be close. I can’t even talk to you because you make a big deal out of everything, and it started when you-”
“Okay!” Jessie suddenly interrupted, standing up and clapping her hands. “Why don’t we have some dinner and cake and wish my husband a happy birthday?”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with that,” Jessie said once she and Katrina were alone in a bedroom a few minutes later. “I don’t know why she still acts like that. She really needs to grow up.”
“She does need to grow up,” Katrina agreed. “It’s more annoying than anything these days.”
“Is it still about… you know?” Jessie asked curiously.
“As far as I know,” she answered. “Maybe that I didn’t go to her wedding? But there were a whole lot of issues with that. Honestly, at this point, I really don’t-”
Suddenly, Katrina was being interrupted by a knock on the door, the person they were speaking about letting themselves in.
“Hey, Jessie, and uh…” Her sister looked right at her before saying, “Hey both of you. What’s going on in here?”
Katrina rolled her eyes and let out a breath as Jessie said, “We’re just talking. Care to join us?”
“Oh, I just came in here to ask if I can see those kids in the summer,” Sam said. She looked right at her sister as she said it, but Katrina only raised an eyebrow to ask her what she was talking about.
“So, uh… can they come with me?” she continued awkwardly, looking at her feet for a moment before glancing back up at her. “I think they’d enjoy spending time with my kids. They get along great, and they’re nice boys, so…”
“I don’t know who you’re talking to,” Katrina said, her voice containing a hint of annoyance. “You never gave a name for whose kids. Do you mean Jessie’s?”
“Ugh, your kids, obviously,” Sam replied. “Can they spend this summer in Georgia with Robert and I? You said if I asked you would say yes.”
“Yes,” Katrina sighed. “They can spend time with you this summer. Not the whole summer though. Only a few weeks.”
“Thank you.”
“But- but,” Katrina started again seriously, pointing a finger at her. “I want you to stop calling me their parent. It’s annoying to see you only say I’m their parent. Stop doing that.”
“Well, I’m certain you don’t want me calling you their father, do you?” Sam said, rolling her eyes. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“Sam- Sam. Look at me,” Katrina told her, forcing her sister’s eyes to her. “Do I look like I could be called their father? What part of me tells you that that’s what I am?”
“Well, you can’t anymore since you mutilated your body. You used to look like you could be one, that’s for sure.”
“I’m not getting into this,” Katrina said. “All you have to do is pretend you care like Dad does. If you can’t even do that and treat me like a human being-”
“Fine! I’ll call you their mother! You make everything such a big deal! It’s just a word!”
“It’s a big deal because you treat me like that in front of my kids! Do you know how fucking embarrassing that is?”
“I just think that you-”
“If you can’t get it right now when I’m right in front of you, how am I supposed to trust you to be alone with them? All I can think is that you’d try to turn them against me and tell them I’m something I’m not, and you’ve done nothing but prove that with your actions so far.”
With that, the conversation died, Katrina scowling and rolling her eyes again as Sam looked away, crossing her arms angrily. “Treats me worse than she would treat a stranger,” she grumbled. “It’s ridiculous.”
“Is there any way you two can just… get back to being sisters?” Jessie asked hopefully. “Trent told me you two used to be closer to each other than anyone else. Can’t you two just reset your relationship somehow?”
“If they want to,” Sam said. “I don’t think they do, though, since they like to make a big deal about everything.”
“I honestly don’t care about whether or not we restart our relationship,” Katrina said. “I just want you to treat me like a normal person. If you want to consider that restarting our relationship-”
“I don’t see what the problem is, honesty,” Sam said, looking at Jessie now. “They act like I’m malicious or something to them. I don’t know what they mean by normal person. It’s not like I attack them or demean them.” Even Jessie had to roll her eyes with how far Sam was going. “They act like I’m making our relationship into something bigger than it is, when that’s what they’re doing.”
Katrina closed her eyes and took a breath. “If you want to hate me, fine. I don’t care. I already know Dad hates me, and there’s a whole world full of people that hate me. But don’t… talk to me like that!” She finished it exasperated, frustrated that she had to ask over and over for the same thing. “I hate it when you talk to me like that! You can hate me, but don’t talk to me that way!”
“I don’t know why they’re saying I hate them when I never said I do,” Sam told Jessie, looking at Katrina the whole time. “I’ve never felt that way. But I’m not sure what they’re talking about when they say not to speak to them a certain way.”
“Oh my god, we’ve been through this Sam!” Katrina put her head in her hands in frustration for a second before looking back up. She stood up and wagged her finger, telling her, “Treat me right, or my kids are not staying with you. I’m not going to let you keep interacting with them if you’re going to talk to me like I’m not in the room. That’s it.”
“I’m not sure what-”
“If you’re not sure, that’s on you,” Katrina interrupted. “You’re just gonna have to figure it out if you don’t know by now.”
Somehow, her sons had ended up around Katrina’s mother and father, most of the other adults vacating elsewhere and the rest of the children still upstairs with each other. Katrina, however, stayed in the room, ruffling Tracy’s hair and she watched Quinn sit in her father’s lap. It made her a bit emotional, seeing him get affection from her father that she never got, but she didn’t show it in her face. She was glad though that he would never hold the position of being their guardian.
“There she is!” her father said as she sat down, sending a smile her way. “Maybe you should ask her now. Kat, can Quinn and Tracy spend the summer with me?”
“Didn’t you already tell me you wanted to spend the summer with Aunt Samantha in Georgia, sweetie?” she asked with a little smile. “You’re telling me you want to spend it with Grandpa, now?”
“I wanna see both of them! Please?”
“I think you’re going to have to pick one or the other, honey. I don’t think we’ll be able to do both in one summer.”
“Awwwwww… fine, I’ll stay with Grandpa then…”
“Oh? You’re picking Grandpa over me?” Katrina’s sister suddenly said, sneaking up on the group. “Do you not want to stay with us in Georgia?”
“N-nooooo!” Quinn yelled, but wore a big smile. “I was just kidding about staying with Grandpa!”
“Maybe you just don’t love me enough, is that it?” she said, feigning seriousness but still smiling. “Do you not love your Aunt Samantha?”
“No! I love you! I’ll stay with you!”
“You know what happens to little boys who don’t want to stay with their Aunt Samantha?” Before he could answer, she quickly moved up to snatch him out of the lap he was in.
“They get stolen from their mothers!” she declared, lifting him up and spinning him in a circle, before plopping down on the couch and setting him in her lap, tickling him. Katina and her father watched the scene for a few seconds before he tapped on her shoulder.
“You know, they need a father figure in their life,” he whispered to her, barely audible. “Those two sons of yours. A father figure will do them good.”
“It seems like they’re doing just fine without one to me,” she replied, whispering just as quietly. “Do they look like they’re acting out to you?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean they can’t use one in their life. They need someone to teach them how to be men. Whatever happened to their actual father? Weren’t you engaged to someone at some point?”
“Lazy Days?” she asked. “I haven’t seen him in probably two years. He’s exactly what his name suggests though. A lazy, good-for-nothing stallion who doesn’t want to be there for his foals. I told him upfront before we got serious that I was only staying in Equestria long enough to have two children, and that was it. He agreed, but then seemed so surprised when Quinn was born and I told him that I was going to move back home in a few months. He only lived with me on Earth for about a year before he apparently found the woman of his dreams and moved to Manehattan. I haven’t seen him since Tracy was probably five years old.”
“Well he should be here,” her father scowled angrily at the thought. “He’s a terrible person for not being in his kids' life. Human or horse, a father needs to be there for his kids.”
It was something the two could agree on, although Katrina thought it was up for debate whether or not her father was there for her. Still, he hadn’t walked out of her life, as much as she sometimes wished he would have.
There was a moment of silence between them as they continued to watch Quinn before her father asked, “Are you taking everything well? All of this… stuff?” He waved a hand at her, indicating he was talking about who she was now.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said simply, flatly, looking at him for a moment before looking back down at her kids. “I’ve never been better in my whole life,” she said.
She could see his face hardening and his fist clenching out of the corner of her eyes. He clearly wanted to say something, but remained silent. He made clear years before just how much he hated what she’d done and how she would never be his daughter despite the love he claimed to still have for her. For a while, he took every chance he could to refer to her as a man. Of course, it only became more ridiculous to do over the years as she changed, to the point where he began to realize doing so would only make him look foolish. Still, the contempt was there, that much she could tell, and it still hurt.
“Do you think that one day you’ll wake up and-”
“Hey, Tracy,” Katrina called to her son, intentionally avoiding the argument that would happen with what she knew he was about to ask. “Come over here for a second.” He listened, and when he got to the two of them, she said, “Tell Grandpa what you’re gonna be when you grow up.”
He smiled widely and answered, “I’m gonna be a football player and be on TV.”
“Oh? You gonna be a quarterback then?” Katrina’s father asked, raising an eyebrow as she smiled again. “Or are you gonna be a wide receiver or cornerback? You’re getting tall enough to play those positions.”
“I’m gonna be the quarterback,” he told him, sounding proud. “That way I can make a billion dollars. I’m gonna play for the Chiefs.”
“Ah, that’s a good thing. I thought you were gonna say you want to play for the Raiders or Broncos. Your mother raised you right.”
“Don’t think about joining the Chargers either, Tracy,” she told him, “but they’re not as bad as the Raiders and Broncos. If you’re serious though, you should go out for flag football in a few years when you’re in middle school.”
“I will, I promise. Then I’ll go to college and be drafted by the Chiefs and be the best player ever.”
“You’re not gonna play for the Falcons?” Katrina’s sister suddenly asked, still holding Quinn in her lap. “That’s who my husband likes. They’re better than the Chiefs are.”
“They most certainly are not,” both Katrina and her father said at the same time, sharing a laugh when they did. “At least I have one daughter with common sense,” her father continued. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with your sister, though. The Falcons are better than the Chiefs? Unbelievable.”
“I can only say I agree,” Katrina added. She scratched her son behind the ears and watched him shiver happily as she said, “My little pony’s gonna play for the Chiefs.”
The two of them sighed, going back to watching Sam talk to her children. It was probably the only thing she and her father had in common, but just enough to base a relationship on, even given everything else. She felt certain it was the only thing keeping him on speaking terms with her and getting him to call her his daughter, despite how much he hated it.
She rubbed her son’s neck carefully, not so hard though that he would fall asleep from the sensation, smiling as he craned his neck. She learned a bit after she moved back to Earth after having them that even though they spent most of their time as humans, they were much closer to ponies in characteristic. Even while humans, certain spots like their ears and neck and back were sensitive to them, and made it that much easier to give them affection.
“Love you, Tracy,” she told her son as she kissed the top of his head, watching her other son being petted in about the same way by her sister. “You’re my adorable little pony.”
“Mom! Stop it!”
“You’re just my cute little pony, Tracy,” she said, picking him up and wrapping her arms around him from behind. “You and Quinn both. You’re both my two ponies, aren’t you? I love you both so much.”
“And you’re gonna grow up to be a big strong man for your mother, aren’t you?” her father added. “She’s gonna need a man to protect her when she’s an old lady.”
“I’ll protect her. I promise,” he assured her, making her smile as she kissed his hair again. “I won’t let anything hurt my mom.”
“You be whatever you want to be, sweetie,” she told him, petting his hair. “Whatever you want to be, you be the very best.”
Katrina was talking to Jase and his wife, Lily Pad, after an early dinner the house had when she suddenly was getting a tap on her shoulder again.
“Hey, Aunt Samantha, Aunt Jessie and Uncle Trent wanted me to ask you if you- oh, you’re not Aunt Samantha. Sorry, Aunt Katrina. You look exactly like her.”
“No trouble, dear,” she smiled. “If anything, I’ll take it as a compliment that I have my sister’s looks.”
“Who looks do you have?” Sam asked as she stepped into the room, her husband and a few other people following behind her. “The only two people I know look the same are Dad and Trent.”
“Apparently, the two of us look the same, too,” Katrina said. “So much so that people mistake me for you when they see me.”
“What? We look nothing alike!” Sam protested, looking a bit embarrassed by the connotation. “I don’t know what similarity you can possibly see between us.”
“Well, according to Colton here, we do, since he thought I was you,” Katrina said, shrugging her shoulders.
“Yeah, maybe from behind,” Sam started, “but I- you- do you really think she looks like me, Colton?”
“Uh huh,” he answered simply. “You look exactly like her. Even right now.”
“Especially right now,” Jase added. “You two in the same room? I almost wouldn’t be able to tell you two apart if I hadn’t lived with you both for so long.”
“Honestly, for the longest time I thought you guys were twins,” Lily Pad said. “I really can’t see how you’re not.”
Katrina smiled at her sister, who frowned back at her and crossed her arms. “Yeah, well… I don’t see it,” Sam said, sounding upset.
“Anyway, what was it you wanted to tell Aunt Samantha?” Jase asked his son.
“Oh yeah, Aunt Jessie and Uncle Trent wanted to know if you wanted to go out and do karaoke with them right now. And you, too, Mom and Dad and Aunt Katrina.”
“I’m down if you’re okay with it, Lily,” Jase said. “Kids can stay here with their grandparents until we get back.”
“That sounds fine to me,” she agreed. “I’d love to go out.”
“I don’t want to,” Sam said, clearly angry. “You guys can do karaoke without me. I’ll just stay here.”
“Aw, come on, Sam,” Katrina said. “It doesn’t even matter. Don’t be like that.”
“I’m not being like anything,” she said. “I just don’t want to do karaoke with you guys. We do it every year. Am I not allowed to decline things anymore?”
“Fine, you don’t look like me,” Katrina told her, rolling her eyes. “Are you happy now? And you told me I make everything into a big deal.”
“Can you two mares just get along?” Lily Pad asked. “You two have been going back and forth all day. You’re supposed to be sisters. Sisters don’t act like this.”
“Don’t make me have to get Mom so she can talk to you two,” Jase said. “You don’t want to make her upset, do you?”
“It’s fine,” Katrina said. “I can tell Sam doesn’t want to be around me, so I’ll sit out of-”
“I didn’t say I don’t want to be around you, Katrina,” her sister interrupted. “I just said I don’t want to do karaoke.”
“You don’t have to say you don’t want to be around me for me to know,” Katrina shot back. “I’m not as big of an idiot as you think I am.”
“Stop it!” Jase said loudly. “I don’t want to hear you two argue! Now both of you get off your butts so we can go out with Jessie and Trent. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to fight when you’re drinking and embarrassing yourself singing karaoke.”
They both did as they were told, getting up to head out with them and a few other people, ending up at the bar a few minutes later. Jessie got right into it, stepping up to the karaoke machine as the rest of the group ordered drinks, the two sisters sitting next to each other, farther away from the group.
“I thought you didn’t like alcohol,” her sister started, quickly gulping down her own drink. “You’re not gonna say I did this, will you?”
“I don’t like alcohol because it tastes disgusting, not because I’m against it or something,” she responded as she took a sip of her drink. “And I don’t think you’re gonna like the answer to that second question.”
“Of course, you’re saying it’s me that makes you drink,” Sam rolled her eyes. “You make everything into a big deal. Why can’t you just get over how I talk?”
“Because you don’t give me any respect,” she shot back. “You don’t give me one single ounce of respect. At least Dad treats me with some semblance of decency in public, even though I know he hates me. You don’t even give me that much.”
Sam sighed at that. “Look, I’m sorry, but I’m trying, okay? It takes time to-”
“No you’re not. It doesn’t take ten years to get it right. Either get it right right now or don’t talk to me. It’s that simple.” With that, Katrina gulped down her drink and slammed the glass on the table.
It was a silent moment as the two watched Jessie sing, then Lily Pad and Jase, before Sam started, “Hey, Kat?” Her sister only looked at her as she asked, “Do you remember that time when we were teens and we watched Jase throw rocks at that hornets’ nest?”
“And he hit that lady’s car?” Katrina continued, Sam nodding her head. “What about it?”
“Do you think he’d do the same thing today, however many years later?”
Katrina laughed a bit at that. “Of course, he would. He hasn’t changed at all since then. And then he tried to say it was the lady’s fault for driving her car near him. It was absolutely ridiculous.”
“I’ve never seen Dad so angry in my life, even if the lady told us everything was fine. He looked ready to kill someone.”
“Haha, yeah…” She sighed and said, “It’s funny to remember, but I can’t say I miss those days like you probably can. Even now, it hurts to think about…” She sighed again and closed her eyes, feeling the wetness build up.
“Awww, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Sam told her, moving closer to her and putting her arms around her. “Let me give you-”
“Don’t hug me!” she shouted angrily, clenching her teeth and pushing her away as one or two tears ran down her cheeks. “I don’t want a hug from you! You treat me like shit, and I hate it! I’ve worked so hard to get myself better, and you still treat me like shit! It’s horrible that Dad acts better than you! I expect you to be better but you still treat me like this!”
“I just wanted to-”
“No! You can’t hug me and make the last ten years all better! You didn’t talk to me for almost five years after I told you who I am! Even still today you say I mutilated my body for fixing that horrible, mangled mess I was born with, and it hurts every time I hear it! That’s not the kind of thing that gets repaired with just a hug! You have to act better, and you never do!”
It was a very long moment that the two of them were silent, closer to an hour than a moment. She didn’t know what her sister was thinking, but she didn’t care. Far, far too much had changed about her and far too much time had passed for Sam to keep acting like this
“I’m sorry,” her sister said quietly after a long while, Katrina not bothering to look her way. “I’m sorry for being mean to you.”
“Okay,” Katrina said simply in response, not a hint of emotion in her voice.
Another minute of silence passed before Sam said, “Kat, I- you- you’re my… my… I love you, you know that? I’m your older sister, and I love you, in spite of… all of this.”
“If you say so.”
“Come on, will you just look at me and see I’m being sincere here?” Sam asked desperately.
“Will you stop treating me like shit?” she asked back, still not turning around.
“I- ugh! You’re my sister, and I love you, okay?” she said, sounding almost like she didn’t want to say it. “I know it’s been so long and I haven’t been doing a great job of showing that to you-”
“You’ve been doing the worst job you possibly can.”
“-but I’m going to try to get better, okay? I promise I’ll try to get better, Kat.”
“Not good enough,” Katrina said, crossing her arms indignantly and still not looking at her. “Don’t try to get better, just get better. I don’t want you to talk to me if you’re not going to be better.”
“Fine! I promise I will get better, okay?” she tried to assure her. “You’re my sister and I love you, and I want you to know that.”
“Oooo you love her, Sam?” Jase suddenly said, appearing next to them. “Are you gonna get married? When do I get to go to the wedding?”
“Stop it, Jase. Don’t be disgusting.”
“Oh, of course you’ll be there, Jase,” Sam said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder. It took all of Katrina’s strength to not visibly cringe and move away as she continued, “We were thinking about a wedding in the winter, right, Kat?”
“You both are absolute heathens,” Katrina said, frowning but accepting the joke. “I don’t know how I’m related to either of you at all.”
“Anyway, it’s you two lovebirds’s turn,” Jase continued. “Everyone else has already gone twice and you both haven’t gone once.”
“I’m really not in the mood for it, Jase,” Katrina told him. “Let someone else go in my place.”
“Can’t. We already decided you and Sam are going at the same time.”
“Aw, come on!” she protested. “You know Sam’s a much better singer than I am! Are you trying to embarrass me?”
“Yes,” he said, feigning seriousness. “Now get your butts up there and quit holding us up.”
She sighed at that, reluctantly standing up to do as he requested, her sister following behind her. Katrina knew Sam was only trying to be nice now to try and appease her, but she still hoped that today would be the day she would actually start to treat her like a human being again. As silly as it was and as much as it killed her that Sam acted the way she did, she could honestly say she missed having a sister.
“I wanna do Mr. Brightside,” Katrina automatically said as the two of them stood in front of their microphones. “If I have to do this, I want to pick the song, and I want Mr. Brightside.”
“Oh, god, no,” Sam replied. “You used to play that crap every single day when we were kids, just blasting it in your room and waking me up. Even twenty years later, I’m still fed up with that song.”
“Well, that’s the song I want, so that’s what's gonna be-”
“Oh! What about Keane?” Sam asked before turning to Jase. “Do they have ‘This Is The Last Time’? That’s the song I wanna do.”
“Is that okay with you, Katrina?” her brother asked. “You both do have to decide together on this.”
“Ah, fine. I guess Keane is okay,” she agreed, Jase already starting up the song. Katrina let her sister do the verses, and she did the bridges, and when it got to the chorus, they both sang together.
“The last time, you fall on me for everything you like,” Sam sang in perfect pitch, even if she messed up the words a little bit.
“You’re one last line,” Katrina sang in response, not sounding very good but trying her best anyway. “You fall on me for anything you like.”
“And years make everything alright,” they both sang together. “You fall on me for anything you like.”
“And I,” Katrina finished, “no, I don’t mi-i-ind.”
“Wooo, you both sounded great!” Jase cheered, clapping his hands enthusiastically. “Especially you, Katrina! You sounded perfect the whole time, way better than Sam!”
“Don’t lie to me,” she smirked a little bit. “I know I sounded completely awful. Can we go back to sitting down now?”
“Sure, sure. I guess you both did your one song, so you can go back to planning out your wedding.” Katrina sent a look his way at the joke, but didn’t comment, going back to her spot. Sam joined her a minute later, and the two watched their family have a few more rounds of karaoke before more words were spoken.
“I really do love you, Kat… Katrina. You’re my sister and I love you, and I want you to know that, even if I don’t really show it very much.”
“Or at all,” Katrina responded, but still took in her words. They sounded sincere now, like she actually believed what she was saying. She certainly hoped she did, at least. She hated having to be angry and upset about things that should’ve been far buried in the past.
“You know,” she said, “I could help you with your hair and makeup and stuff if you need it. I know more than a few tricks to help you look even better if you want them.”
“It’s been ten years, Sam,” Katrina told her. “Any help I could’ve needed with my hair and makeup is advice that would just fall on deaf ears now.”
“You’re saying a forty-year-old lady can’t listen to advice from her sister on beauty tips?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. It got Katrina to smile a bit, even if she still wished that her sister had offered up advice years ago.
“I’m still a few years away from that number, but we’ll plan something out if you’re serious,” she responded. “Maybe when Tracy and Quinn are down in Georgia with you, okay?”
“It sounds like it would be very nice,” Sam said, before the two went back to being quiet. There was another pause before she said, “You know, I still can’t believe Jase was trying to throw rocks at that nest.”
It got Katrina to laugh hard at the memory. “What was he thinking?” she asked, trying to speak through her laughter. “Like, what sort of plan did he have in mind? How did he think that would end if he hit that nest?”
“It’s a good thing that lady was driving by when he threw that last rock. If he didn’t hit her car, I’m certain he would’ve kept on going. She might have saved our lives.”
“Saved us from a whole lot of wasp stings at least,” Katrina chuckled. “He was getting close to hitting it I think.”
The two sighed at the memory before Sam said, “I really do love you, Kat. And I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is about right now, but I want to just fix all of this. I don’t know why I didn’t feel that way sooner, but still. I’m going to try.”
“I love you, too, Sam,” she told her sister. “Even if you act… not the greatest to me, I’ve still always loved you. I do hope you can start treating me like your sister, though.”
“I promise I’ll try,” Sam assured her. “I promise I will. Anyway, do you remember that time at the library when…”
The two spent the next couple of hours sitting together laughing at memories, their other siblings eventually joining in. It was during that time when Katrina realized something interesting. It seemed to her like Keane was right. There were more than a few issues she had with a few members of her family, and a few of them had a lot to work on, so much so that she wondered if it was even possible for things to get better, but still. Years really did make everything alright.
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That was a lovely story, nice to see she reconciled with her whole family.... eventually.
So mom and dad split up huh? I wonder if the whole Katrina situation was just some sorta straw the broke the camel's back thing.
And kids! I wonder just how many with dysphoria went over to Equestria and settled there, getting a family they truly desired that way.
I can imagine a couple generations from now a lot of humans will end up with some pony dna within them, and vise versa.
Was a good read, thanks for the story.
Thank you for writing this story. It was enlightening about how a trans person might feel and the kind of issues they might have to deal with.
Bravo. This story was wonderful! I just love all the depth of the characters. It is truly touching. I have seen and helped a few friends going through transition. It always brings me joy when they reach that moment of getting the final piece in place and reaching their end desired self. When outside matches inside. Once again bravo on a well written story.
This really was a great read. I honestly can't relate to Katrina in the slightest, but I could tell you were putting your heart and soul into this, just like you said, and I think that's what made it so compelling to continue reading. Even though it always updated at a crazy time of night for me (though I'm usually awake anyway), I always found myself excited to see the update in my feed.
It was interesting to look into the mind of a trans person, and coupling that with Equestria made this story fascinating in that regard. It was great to see how Equestria and Earth essentially merged through those worldgates, and it's wonderful that it seems like humans and Equestrians can live together in harmony here.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us.
As. I understand, everything she makes is chic, unique and magnifique.
I have an uncle who is 6 ft 10 in. No joke.
Ha! She said it!
I'm with Kat on this one. I honestly hate the taste of alcohol.
He could have really.... Stirred up the hornets' nest.
I can safely say that I loved this story. I give it a full 10 on the
itude scale. The future looks bright for Katrina.
Amazing job on the story, thank you for sharing it with us.
A lot of times when a human finds a portal to Equestria they run away from their problems. Instead, Katrina faced adversity and overcame it, building the life for herself that she wanted. You also showed that it wasn't easy, and gave us a window into her internal conflict. I'm glad that in the end, she wound up happy.
11099023
Pretty sure Katrina's parents were already divorced at the start of the story.
Wild hie appeared!
Crimson used READ!
Bravo, My little Author. Bravo. Plato would be proud.
Don't get me wrong, it's good, it's well written. I don't know what to say about the whole gender dysphoria thing, because I'm not trans, and I have no idea what trans people go through. Sure, I know there's a lot of discriminatory bullshit, parents not accepting their kids, and other garbage, but I don't know what it's like to experience that. This did give me a bit of an insight, so thank you for that. Overall, it's a good story, and as sad as it is, I enjoyed reading it.
Wow. Its already been almost a month since the final chapter was posted... Time has really flown since the pandemic started
the story turned out better then I thought that it would be. I enjoyed it. And I'm also very happy to see that Twilight got the gate working again, always nice to see... The ending chapters were nice because seeing what all happened was great, seeing the children and how her brother moved and to were. It was really good... I'm glad it was a happy end... Well, kind of? Still the store was a roller-coaster ride!
This story made me cry, ive legit gone through most of this, especially with family members, this story is so good and im really glad i found out about it
11150427
If it means anything, it made me cry to write at certain parts, namely the chapters "Sign Of The Times", "Big Empty", and "Thank You". Those were the hardest for me to get through writing, but got through it, I did.
11178031
Yeah, I just now finished reading the story and realize now what it meant. I've seen a lot of stories where a trans character has that flag on literally everything and while it's a nice symbol it's something that I feel is a little heavy-handed. The idea of her special talent being her helping other trans people sits a lot better with me.
While I understand the trips to Equestria are largely symbolical to the narrative I kept wondering why she never asked if there was a way to turn human over there or exploring some unorthodox methods like bringing Discord over to the human world and seeing what he could do, also I'm pretty curious what would happen if Katrina went through the mirror into the Equestria Girls universe world. Seems like Twilight would be pulling some all-nighters trying to figure out some weird ass solution lol
11200247
I promise there's a good reason for it, revealed in the chapters "Sign Of The Times" and "Thank you"
Great story, had me in tears several times for several reasons. How ever much of this story is and was real for you, i hope things ended up ok for you.
Reviewed
11335993
My only personal impressions were Karens (which flip their shit over anything) and... a gay guy. He made sure to repeatedly state that. Was pissed about my lack of reaction. Was i supposed to hate him? Was i supposed to go "I'm gay too!". The equivalent of "yep, you're gay" wasn't enough. A week later it occurred to me he might have wanted me. Its been a decade and I still don't understand what the game plan was.
The rest is mainly from multi-media. Not a great source but the bible belt i live in makes personal encounters rare.
Well it's been a ride for sure.
11350871
I'm very glad you read it! Mind if I ask for your thoughts?
11350911
Our thoughts are strewn throughout the comments, but we suppose a recap of the latest is fine.
It is extremely fortunate Katrina did not take Twilight's enthusiasm and questioning as mockery and deception. We're quite certain if it were a human doing the questioning she would have locked up immediately and shut the whole thing down. We believe this may be due in part from the natural human disconnect interpreting "animal and this won't judge me in a social context" (sure there's a German word for that).
It's nice you were able to include many of the typical societal responses in the story characters, and the mental anguish that comes from anticipating the unexpected worst reactions from people.
It is unfortunate the reality barrier is so strict in this universe. But it is one of the few where the default portal is able to transmit a continual interface between the two (for example, passing sound back and forth), which is very curious as most other versions are wholesale-packet-based and highly segregating.
It is fairly obvious you've drawn a majority of the personality and attributes of Katrina from yourself. There's a certain stigma against self-inserts, but here it feels Katrina is more real for it.
Hehehe~
Knew it!
You did an excellent job at crystalizing the pain and highlighting common moments of struggle and pain. In fact while reading this I had to repeatedly stop and do something else. The first half of the story was too good at summoning dysphoria memories. So much deliberation and worry and despair. It was hard to keep reading, but I'm glad I did. This was a really solid story.
I noticed though how much better I have in in terms of family than the character. A lot of that is probably growing up in Oregon (gee, a location the character explicitly mentioned as way better lol). My family has been extremely accepting, although it's somewhat hard for my mother to accept she tries hard, and that's all I can really ask of her. After reading this I'm feeling extremely grateful for my family.
11428826
Yeah for some people spiro doesn't cause bad brain fog. Fortunately for me estrogen by itself had enough of an AA effect that I didn't actually need it. Also some people aren't quite as sensitive to the ratio between estradiol and estrone. But I've read about some trans women who barely got fat redistribution at all until they switched to a method other than swallowing (e.g. injections or patches)! Ultimately I think it comes down to how you feel, if things are growing, and what the tests say.
If it works for you enough to reduce dysphoria and your hormone levels are where they need to be then there's of course no need to change it.
Unsure what the current research says about dosing schedules for estrogen, but yeah usually they start at 2mg and ramp up.
I FINALLY FOUND THE CLIP I WAS LOOKING FOR WHEN I FIRST READ THE TITLE OF THIS STORY!!!
Beautiful story I loved it!
11336819
Just in case you need a reminder, the whole "you'll go to jail for misgendering" talking point is something invented by transphobes and reinforced by showing cherry picked examples. It is designed to force trans people to stay silent and to delegitimize those who support trans people. Transphobes are no longer able to get away with ignoring trans people so they have moved to gaslighting and being hostile in every way they can. Downplaying the harm done and acting like the victims are overreacting is always the first course of action once abusers can no longer pretend that nothing is wrong.
Now, let me be clear. I am not saying that you should or shouldn't come out. Just remember that while the hatred trans people receive is very real, the fear of trans people is almost completely fabricated. Seeing as you live in the Bible belt though, make sure you prioritize both your mental and physical safety as much as you can.
11501094
Here; have a dislike for your reply having next to zero to do with what you replied to. I vaguely remember a different post that you might bd responding to but keep the dislike for also misunderstanding that one too.
Felt too short, didnt quite unpack all that we hoped for.
Twilight also felt dumb on purpose during some conversations, as did Katrina, especially about the tail.
Great story, one of your best.
This was a truly delightful story. I enjoyed it the entire way through, both in the characters and the story itself.