Nai hiruvalye Valimar, nai elye hiruva; namarie!
This story is a sequel to The Children of the Storm
Thunderlane's been training for the Guard at an...interesting time. A convenient time, too; his home might be able to make good use of him, soon!
Assuming the enemy ever leaves the fogs, mists, and rains they seem to be content to haunt for now.
And assuming he survives it when they decide to.
Continuity: The Song of the Spheres
Branch: The Children of the Storm
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
751 users online
651,625 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Are they using lightning magic?
R.I.P
Did he grab the whip?
Can someone translate?
Fascinating and concerning on multiple levels. Intelligent, speaking beings led by humans, tied to the rain. surprisingly gentle around horses...
Intriguing data, but not nearly enough to go on. There's barely anything on what here, much less who and why.
My big concern here is that, much like The Lay of Canterlot High, this is going to make no freaking sense to someone stumbling upon your work for the first time. Yes, it's marked as a sequel, but it relies so heavily on the context of the previous story that it almost feels like an epilogue... that's also a flashback.
Again, great work, but we have very different thoughts on what constitutes a separate story.
10854504
I see your point. The main problem I can see is that this is radically different in tone and especially tags from the previous story, making combining the two a bit awkward. Do you think simply making one omnibus story with the "Anthology" tag would be a better way to present the narrative?
10854401
No, electric-bolt firing crossbows.
Yep.
While most of the speech is untranslatable (both by virtue of being in an unknown language and basically being filler text), I can say that "esqvens" is in a language no one speaks, and we'll learn what it means later on.
10854705
What’s that?
When?
Esqvens?
10854694
Hmm. It's hard to say. Many of the break points you've created work well. I just feel that you're isolating some scenes to an excessive extent. In this case, you might be well served by using an top-mounted author's note to provide a content warning.
Yeah, this is a messy issue, one without an easy answer. My criticism is less "You're doing it wrong" and more "You're not doing it the way I would," so take it with several thousand grains of salt.
10854727
Homestrian military technology, designed to deliver a taser-like burst of stunning electricity from a distance. The crossbow design is a nod to past Homestrian weapons, though strictly speaking not necessary.
A couple moments after the whip wrapped around his arm.
The bolded word. Its meaning will be revealed, but later.
10854863
Ohh. So it wrapped around his arm?
So they’re dealing with aliens?
Anyone else noticing similarities to windigos?
10857469
Really?