• Member Since 28th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen February 16th

fluttershyfan17


Writer, Star Wars fan, and Owl enthusiast.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Heart of the Force


Seven years after Heart of the Force, Jedi Knight Kaleb Taymar trains Sweetie Belle as his apprentice. However, an ancient threat emerges, evoking memories of a Fallen Order, ancient civilizations past, and mysteries of the Force. An adventure filled with mystery, thriller, and horror unfolds as Master and Apprentice investigate the truth as Darkness awakens and threatens to destroy Equestria.

Edited by Mine Menace

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 34 )

“Hello there.”

General Kenobi

10677791
I was waiting for someone to do that lol. Congratulations.

YouTube

I've always loved train action scenes myself too. This chapter was outstanding!

10678898
Thank you! Some of my other favorites are Back to the Future III and The Fugitive, which is one of my favorite Harrison Ford films outside of Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

10708875
Yes, those are good ones too.

And another Harrison Ford film I enjoy is the one that also starred Carl Weathers.

Are you still working on this story?

10724356
Yes! Working on getting Chapter 2 up sometime this weekend.

im getting anakin vibes from spike and I'm not sure how to feel about that

Do you think Kaleb might get anxious about marrying Fluttershy? Possibly fearing that he might end up like Anakin?

10730865
Kaleb doesn't fully know the truth about Anakin becoming Vader and what led him down that path, so I wouldn't say he fears that as of right now. I can't give anything else fully away, but I will say is what Kaleb goes through in this story changes him.

10730825
I do see the similarities. With all of those emotions coming at him like an electric current, there is a great deal of pain Spike feels, but he doesn't fully yet know why this is happening and how. It's still a mystery to him. It kind of reminds me of this scene in Revenge of the Sith, where Anakin is still figuring out the mystery of why he's having these visions.

10731146
Hold the phone. Spike is still that strong in the Force to receive visions of a possible future. How is that possible? I thought Ahsoka said in the Mandalorian that if a Force-sensitive doesn't receive train their power fades overtime?

10738549
He's not completely at Anakin's level yet. I was just using that scene to compare his conflicted emotions.

I can't fully say for story reasons, but Spike's power has been growing slowly over time for a reason. Something caused it to stay, and in this story, something caused those visions to occur. From the first time in the last story to the next time in this chapter.

Bringing back grevious in organic form is kinda stupid. It would make sense to make it so he is now fully mechanical and perhaps has some of the memories due to surviving brain implants (read up on what happened to greviois after RotS). But its pretty clear in revenge of the sith that the organic parts of gervious were fried or disintegrated in front of our eyes. I would also replace Ach-To with Tython as the Mandolorian has made it canon again and it has much better lore then the place where most people developed PTSD from seeing luke character assassinated by a guy who clearly tried to purposefully burn everything down, though JJ did make a good sequel almost imopssible to write with his mystery boxes/dead ended plots even he had no anwers to and could never be answered logically because the series was handled over to hack writters that don't understand or care about star wars.

10869342
There are other Jedi Temples that are going to be referenced throughout the story; I just chose Ach-To randomly. Nyroc traveled to multiple temples over the years, so I can say there's a possibility he visited Tython.

With Grievous, I chose this option because it I want to explore that identity between human and machine. Project Necrosis is an inspiration, I just felt this option was worth taking because of cyborgs and how deep the science fiction can get with them. In this story, the events of Revenge of the Sith did play out, just with the exception of Obi-Wan not fully taking out Grievous. I also liked bringing in the crime aspect with Maul and making Grievous akin the The Winter Soldier from Marvel. It's a big risk changing these kind of events, but I took it because I felt like there was a chance it could work and link it to the larger Star Wars universe.

I hope that you still consider giving this story a chance. I love Grievous as a character, and I want to do him justice. He's basically The Winter Soldier combined with Michael Myers in this story, so there's an edge of horror and thriller that I did combined with exploring who he is.

This chapter was very good at getting us up to speed, showing the characters evolution, and some well written action. Kaleb should learn to start using the force more on opponents that have no force walls though in the future.

10870529
Wouldn't he have taken the texts though if he visited that planet? I like Grevious too but you can explore those themes with any cyborg or most of them with a droid that has some of the memories of the original. In fact you could make an OC that Nyroc turns into a cyborg using Greviou's remains. Retconing things that aren't nonsensical or bad writting for wish fulfilment isn't a good path to take, if you want Grevious then use Necrosis as the basis. I'll still keep reading as the rest of the story seems very good so far, but bringing back Grevious in his cyborg form is a black market.

While equestria has mostly ponies in it and all I don't think having the equestrian guard be xenophobic is accurate as Luna and Celestia champion harmony and friendship, plus it doesn't make sense why most of them became so. It would make sense if it was sections of the guard posted on the boarders of countries that have bad relations with equestria, but large scale differences like that wouldn't really stand especialpy without some cause like a devastating war or specisism due to colonialism or some sense of superiority.

10885229
There is a fair amount of tension on the borders of Equestria for multiple reasons, including a distrust between the Equestrian Guard and the other countries. I can't go into more specifics than that for spoiler reasons for the story, but that will be addressed.

Epic Chapter. Keep up the good work and as always may the force be with you.

Who wants to bet Spike will turn to the dark side? If so, oooo, this is gonna get interesting! :pinkiecrazy:

Epic! Can't wait to see what happens next!

I feel like Sweetie Belle might also be getting to that age where she may soon face her trials, and the Force does have a tendency to get a Jedi their test. These event may very well lead Sweetie Belle into those trials.

11041609
That's still a few years down the road, but the events taking place now do influence that in certain ways. This is a story that takes place halfway through her Padawan training, early in her career as a Jedi, but shapes who she is and her own philosophy. I wanted to focus in on character development with her as a Padawan before doing anything with the Jedi Trials, similar to the books Master and Apprentice and Into the Dark by Claudia Gray. Those were major influences, and I loved the way they honed in on the Padawan main characters.

Astonishing chapter as always. Looking forward to the next.

Yes!!!!! New Chapter! OMG I love this Story

The pony sighed before speaking. “My name is Nyroc. Long ago, I led an uprising against a leader who exiled my master to the moon. During the battle, the Force awakened inside me and combined with my magic. It nearly destroyed me, but in the midst transported me to this galaxy. Long did I search for the source what combined with my magic, and in doing so brought me to the Dark Side.”

This is an interesting origin story regarding Nyroc being a former Lunar guard and him trying to avenge Nightmare moon or Luna by him and his followers (I presume) attacking Celestia for exiling Nightmare moon to the moon (I do believe that Nyroc and the rest of the lunar guard still remained loyal to Luna even when she became Nightmare moon so things are about to get interesting when he finds out that she’s back, but as Luna and not Nightmare moon) . And ever since he’s been stuck in the Star Wars galaxy he became a freakin Sith Lord, having one purpose in life and that is to kill Princess Celestia and any of her allies, but when he does come back things will really kick off!!
I think that Darth Nyroc will still continue his plan to invade Equestria despite Luna’s return, his mind is still clouded in darkness and hellbent on destroying Celestia and anyone that stands with her.
As Jedis Kaleb and Sweetie Belle are about to face they’re biggest test yet, as master and apprentice! Can’t wait to see what happens in the rest of the sequel.
If there is any hope for Nyroc to come back to the light, I hope there will be since Luna’s back, though it will be hard.

Chapter 8 was amazing mate. U gotta love the heart to heart conversation between Kaleb and Sweetie Belle, and how the espionage world is just deadly. Can’t wait for chapter 9 and onwards. 👍

NEW CHAPTER LETS GOOO!

Keep up the good work.

-Knight

It's alive. It's Alive. It's ALIVE!

Yes it’s back! Onwards to Sweetie Belle becoming a Jedi knight! Maybe in the next story?

11512053
I can assure you this story is alive lol

In those moments, Spike felt himself transported, as a quick vision entered into his head. One which showed the moments on the train.

Sweetie Belle moved with focus as she fought to rescue her master. There was one pony who fought her, tall and string, brimming with hatred. The light of determination versus the sheer anger of her opponent. Both their emotions were strong, and unresolved. But that changed in a flash as the lightsaber moved by instinct. And landed with a stab into his stomach. The pony’s emotions kept to anger even as the light faded from his eyes, and Sweetie Belle’s moved to guilt and fear. The feelings yelled out to him as if in a scream.

Shit, now spike is force sensitive

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