Have you ever wonder what happened before Equestria was founded? A very long time ago, Equestria was know as the Holy Romane Empire. At then, there was a king and queen who lived in the main city, in their castle.
But when light shines down for the very first time, the queen gives birth to a young foal who inherits power to soon rule the Holy Romane Empire.
This little filly, know as Medical Attention (or Angel), must bring back the empire before it crumbles into rubble. But the challenges are hard, especially for a young foal who is a princess and who knows nothing. Love and Courage will steer the way, but can the young filly find The Gems of Eternal Peace and bring back the empire to its former glory?
(This story was inspired by the amazing Trilogy, The Looking Glass Wars. Its also inspired by the history of the Roman Empire.
Medical Attention, a.k.a Angel does not belong to me. She belongs to a friend on deviantART, named dalmationmolly.)
Cool. This is a neat idea, and I'll be interested to see where you go with this.
A few things, tho... I noticed a few grammar things while reading, and I would recommend joining either an Author Support Group, or an In Need of Editors group.
can't wait for the next chapter!
Otherwise, this could be pretty cool... neat idea!
Also: First!
I read through these chapters and I'm not quite sure what to think.
I mean, you've definitely got an original idea here and if done right, can go pretty far. The trick is getting it all started and, personally, I think this start is just a bit too rough. Now don't get me wrong, this has merit but the writing is just a bit too awkward and sometimes I'm not quite sure what I'm reading.
Here's my suggestions: First off, slow down. The story progressed rather quickly and felt rushed. Take your time writing this and make sure to flesh out each scene. Yes, it's hard to do sometimes, but trust me. It's well worth it.
Second, get some proof readers. Someone to go over what you've written and provide feedback before you release the next chapter to the masses. Joining a group for this is a good way to get started.
Regardless, you have my attention. I'm interested in how you develop your story. Best of luck in writing this!
- uT.TerAbsurdity
not well known are you? seems interesting...