Coin Purse
Joined 14th Jun, 2017 ·
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- Kaliann25 · 9.3k words · 17 24 · 702 views
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idk why, but that dress looks like an SCP
Just commenting to say I liked this story a lot. Unexpectedly sober story about a guy who likes frills.
I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for writing it. I've been reading a lot of "sissified Flash" fanfic recently (in fact, one of the fics convinced me to make an account after many years lurking just to comment on it!) and this fic really delves into one of the many perspectives of this kink and other kinks in an interesting way. In my opinion, the internal struggle Flash is going through in his mind is one that is mirrored by many people worldwide, and this struggle is something that many kinks have in common. Although I don't share the same fetish, I do have one, and I worry about the dilemma all the time. Porn and fantasizing can be wonderful, but I am always worried about objectifying others as well... When we go into the deepest parts of our soul, sometimes it's hard to rationalize or explain why we like what we like, especially in a sexual context (considering that sexual energy is some of the strongest there is in my opinion.) So this fic and Flash's commentary on his thoughts really got me thinking about the common struggles with any kink, and the specialized struggles with this particular one. When I re-read the other fics where Flash is a sissy, I will think back to this one. Thank you.
Quite the curious song and dance... it leaves me struggling with my sense of self, so cheers to that, I guess. One day I hope to understand what is in the pile, but I only have a hunch or two.
Firstly the exposition of unfulfilled continuity of existence. Initially I felt you it doesn't link very well into the meat of your story. I'm really feeling for Twilight, because I am probably closer to her kind of situation than to Sun's or Flash's. I'm really feeling for Sunshine, because telling each other that we're happy and moving on is really all we ever do. As for Flash, ohboy...
On the one hoof, they are probably the closest thing to feminine clothing that also shouts "professionalism, agency, control". On the other hoof, I struggle to think that Flash does not get the appeal of "restrictive and uncomfortable"? Have you ever been into corsets? Oh dear, I have been wanting corsets for so long. Corsets and pantyhoses and some outfit that shouts grace and poise and perfect skin-tight fit.
For me, that's wanting to show up to all my countable-on-one-hand-friends in a dress again! Not that it happens a whole lot, I haven't been around much lately.
And now to my metaphorical meat: I feel very strangely about that compartmentalization of Flash and Fiona. Really the whole justification around what is a fetish, maybe, but obviously not just a fetish is in both senses of the word forced. In particular, this phrase:
sounds a lot like a way to say that Flash is not fulfilled with what he became. An all too relatable song and dance, yet so contradictory to not feel like oneself when being oneself.
I can acknowledge it and it makes sense that those two are not one and the same, in the same sense that puzzles or fulfillment need to be completed. Ultimately, is that really the desirable endgame? I can contextualize some sort of justification for it hailing from things I know about Flash, or you the author, or the common denominator of both. Whatever kind of person I want to be (something that's been taking me a few years more than twenty-two to figure out, so far), I feel that I do not want a compartmentalized sense of self even if it makes things easier to justify or understand. I feel ashamed for everything that's me and that I also feel like I have to hide. Maybe I am getting something fundamentally wrong about transgenderism (which is my anchor holding onto all this, an anchor that for so long had no sexual component whatsoever because I didn't because I still don't want to because it still manages to be one of the least fulfilling things in my life to the point that deriving meaning from it as an alien concept to me, still), maybe I am taking something like virtue ethics or life by principles way too serious, but I really hate not being one person so much. And I really mean thinking about myself that way, not playing several roles to friends or society or whatever. So I struggle to understand Flash feeling better off accomplishing that kind of compartmeaohewgah (I have to double-check how to write that cursed word) when it means to hide who you are. I wish someone could explain that to me so I understand why I keep fighting so hard against myself to implement my very own flavor of identity representation (with {arbitrary amounts of} emphasis {left to the reader} on the transgender part) because it just hurts and I am tired.
To lay bare oneself like this speaks a lot of invulnerability and trust. I'd be happier for it but I wouldn't be happy in that moment. It's kind of what I expected and got, I suppose.
What really worries me is that I do not know if I can tell apart genuine desire to be like/of the other gender (whatever that entails) with a desire fueled by depravity or fetishizing that idea, and your fic is making me worry what part of it I just might project rather than live.
So yeah, thanks for the fic. I wish I had it in me to write something, anything, too.