Watch (or read) as Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack (don't worry, i'll make sure Fluttershy and Rarity come in) party it out in Mario Party 5 (ponified)! With Twilight's trusty Neightendo PonyCube (worst name ever), they are able to play one of the most fun games of my childhood.
MrBrawler18 inspired me to do this, so credit goes to him. Also, sorry if it's not funny.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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i will read this later since i love the cheapest ass game series ever: Mario Party
Ah Mario Party, a game chaotic and divisive enough to give Discord pause. Can anyone's friendship survive this infamous game? I shall read and find out.
Ok, good execution, but you need to separate each character's lines. Once somepony finishes talking, make a new paragraph.
Very nice, but the structural problems are still there. I'm going to up vote and follow because I like the concept and I think you're doing it well, but get this edited for Celestia's sake!
looks interesting, even though it needs a little bit of editing, the writing is good and the ponies are in character, tracking, even though you didn't include fluttershy
1173588 Agreed.
Also let's hope that this Mario Party won't ruin the friendships of Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.
Well so far so good but you really do need to correct the grammar problems, find yourself a good editior if you need to.
1173588 thanks for the tip. currently writing the 3rd part and i will definitely start doing that
welp, according to the public i need an editor. anyone up for the job?
i will not write another chapter unless i get an editor. unless you guys are okay with a crap load of mistakes
1176935 If you want I think I could be an editor, what do I have to do?
1177201 pretty much correct every grammar mistake i've made. if you're willing, i'll start you off when i write the 4th chapter
1177201 and if you feel something could be changed, change it
1177231 Well I'll see what I can do.
"Applejack looked ready to roll, literally and figuratively. She wanted to use her Super Mushroom Capsule, but was told by the game that she couldn't afford it." i got here when i had to make a comment dident she alredy buy it and with that Can't she it at any time? it don't cost coins to use it only to get it.
1177848 Mario Party 5. capsules for free, costs money to use them
You can always ask us for ideas too you know.
1188162 that's a good idea. a new part about that will be edited into 'PLEASE READ'
Spike will win!
As a fan of Mario Party, I'll be favoriting this. I can also be an editor.....if you want me to,,,,
I know this may be a bit picky since I am a big Mario Party fan.....
but since Rainbow Dash landed on a Bowser Space with 0 coins, and 0 stars won't it just have Bowser give RD 10 coins instead of a Ztar since she has nothing? (Remember, it's nitpicking)
Anyways, keep it up!
I really can't bring myself to take control of a fellow brony's account, even if it means having the time to work on this fic, not only do I think that would be wrong but I don't know a whole lot about Mario Party 5 because it's been years since I've played it, so I'm afraid I can't help you, I can give you ideas but nothing else.
phew, for a moment i though you where gonna drop the story
but don't worry, most of us can wait
Hey man good news, in the time since you updated this fic I've managed to pick up Mario Party 5 and I have played each board at least once as well as completed the story mode, so if you want ideas I can provide you with quite a lot.
Mario Party... the game that ends friendships.
I was wondering when one would write the cast taking on what is probably the ultimate test of friendship (as this game can transform the closest of friends into foaming at the mouth enraged monsters who will hate one another forever).
In a way, it's too bad this story has been dropped. And it makes me wonder why this kind of thing has not been writen before.
Oh well...
Guess I'll read it and see if what's writen was at least worth it.
It's not bad, although I found it boring that you didn't take the time to choose an interesting minigame that can be commented on and described as the ponys play it. I think this story would have worked better if the mane 6 were playing the game themselves and not through a console and a controller, for that same reason I think you ran out of ideas quickly, it's really difficult to make a story describing a character playing throughout the story, that limits you as a writer and for readers, it can get boring.
Unfortunately, this fic is dead, and it is the only one that has something related to Mario Party... for those who are interested, I am going to work on a new fic, similar to this one, but "improved" by fixing the error that the ponies play at through a console.