If you leave a like and/or favorite, please tell me why, I want to know what I'm doing right, and what needs to be worked on. May the Horse be with you.
Frederick Talon is hot on the trail of a mad man threatening millions of lives but when he corners the man a huge explosion destroys the laboratory and sends them and everything within a five mile radius to the land of equestria. Will Frederick be able to stop the mad scientist and return to his family, or die trying?
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May we have a reason for unhappiness with the story?
Anypony? 
1155572 I can't say for sure, not having read the story, but people tend to get headaches from red and black OCs.
Ah what the hell, I'll read it and give any feedback I can come up with.
EDIT: Ignore the avatar, it's temporary and not a good description of me.
Feedback.
-Right off the bat, sub 1000 word chapters. That tends not to be favorable.
-...I apologize for sounding like an ass, but I regret reading this. I don't even know where to begin, but I'll try.
-It's too fast paced, slow the f
k down and elaborate a bit more.
-While not a big thing, most people don't use "s to cover thoughts, they either use nothing, Italics (like me), or in some cases 's.
-Okay, that's it. I've been staring at this for five minutes now and I don't know what to say or where to go after the "s thing. Just read the story out loud (make sure that it's out loud) to yourself.
-I'm sorry, I just can't read this. I won't TD you, but I'll tell you that the people who did have their reasons. Don't take it personally.
1159350 We didn't take it personally we don't care but thank you for the advice we might take that into consideration