• Member Since 16th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 15th, 2020


If you leave a like and/or favorite, please tell me why, I want to know what I'm doing right, and what needs to be worked on. May the Horse be with you.


Sally, shivers in the cold winter weather, getting tossed around by frantic last minute shoppers who treat her like she's as light as a feather. But as she curls up on a bench in the park, she hears something in the dark. and Hark, the Herald Angels sing, but they are not the ones she was really expecting.

A sad but heartwarming tale, of a little girl lost in her own shadowed veil. And one tiny gift from a mysterious source, can be a life altering force. One tiny gift in the form of a doll, a pretty pony, can soften even the stony.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

That was the most heartwarming thing I've ever read. I love it. :fluttercry: :heart: :fluttercry: :heart:

Pretty heartwarming. I was like :applecry: and then I was like :pinkiehappy:

And Chester A. Bum was there, too!


Good job!

I loved it! Happy Holidays to you!:raritywink:

D'aaaaaaaaaawwwww! :raritycry:

That was cute.

I liked the rhyme idea, however, I find it better if you broke from it every once and a while.
But that's just me.

- Indy

3624430 Twas the Night Before Christmas was an inspiration, I wanted something unique, something to set it apart, and thanks for taking the time to read and comment. :twilightsmile:

I am the hammer, and I am here to judge- (don't worry, I liked it)

1.) I felt like it had a really good message, and a heart warming tale behind all the rhyming:derpyderp2:
2.) It was short, but not that short if you know what I mean (a comfortable length not super long). It seemed to last longer than some of the other 1-shots. I have no idea why, but I liked that.
3.) It had a well written ending. It may not seem like much, but the ending to me says it all, like if it was rushed, or the author didn't want to finish it. Yours was spot on.:pinkiehappy:

1.) I thought there was a bit too much rhyming. I have a tendency to be one of the fastest readers I know, so when I was reading it, it pretty much turned into a rap which I found slightly offputting.
2.) Though it was a good story, I thought there could have been a bit more detail describing the characters. (besides the ponies)
3.) It wasn't quite what was expecting. I thought it would follow the storyline of- Girl without a home loses hope, cries herself to sleep and wakes up in Equestria surrounded by ponies that love and care for her through Christmas where she happily lives out the rest of her days.

Anyways, now for the review- Out of ten total points: 7/10
Keep writing. This might not have been my favorite, but It takes a hell of a lot of talent to write a fic that gets more likes than dislikes and has so much poetic imput- (seriously, the fact that everything rhymed was an incredible feat.)

3652903 That was the original plan but I decided against it. I wanted something unique, and I think it is. But I have a long way to go. Thanks, I hope I continue to impress in the future.

A nice, heartwarming tale of the true meaning of Christmas. I liked the rhyming.

Took me long enough to get to this. I am going to move it to the accepted fic folder in the PDG group because it is deep in thought.

Login or register to comment